ASHTON
They say that any meaningful things you see when you die are just hallucinations your brain conjures up when it loses oxygen. I think it depends on how you go. If it's sudden, you don't have time to realize you're dying. That way, I think everything just goes dark. And if it's a slow death, like mine, you're thinking about your life as you go. Those thoughts move with you, fall with you, and pass with you.
As I lay bleeding out, I thought about four people: the mother I never knew, the almost-mother who saved me, my brother of a best friend, and the girl who turned my life inside out.
I saw their faces, and I knew what I'd say to each of them if I had to say goodbye. And it devastated me that I wouldn't get that chance. Especially with Summer. I would die and our last interaction would stay that way forever. Another fight, another blow to her heart.
And then I felt my mom scooping me up in a blanket of warmth. It was only for a moment. I don't know how, but I knew it was temporary. And then the warmth was gone, and Nick was there. Fuzzy blackouts. Sirens. He was yelling. It's always jarring when Nick yells. Why was he yelling? Oh right. My death.
Fading in and out, I register the speed of the ambulance, a paramedic handling bloody gauze. I register Nick on the phone. He says her name.
"Summer," I repeat through an oxygen mask, trying to sit up, being held down. Headrush. Weakness. "I'm sorry. Tell her I'm sorry... tell her..."
Darkness.
❖❖❖
Like a slow, monotonous alarm, the sound of a beeping machine slips into my conscious as I wake. The surprise of being alive hits me first, then the dryness of my throat, and then the sharp burning pain radiating from the left side of my stomach.
I open my eyes with difficulty, getting my blurry bearings. The lights are dimmed and I know I'm not in heaven, but I'd recognize that angelic head of hair anywhere. Summer is sitting next to the bed I'm in, resting her arms on the mattress, her head down. I reach over and touch her hair.
"Summer," I mumble, clearing my groggy throat. She flaps away my hand and I realize she's sleeping. "Cupcake."
A couple of seconds pass before her head whips up. "Ashton! You're awake!" She leaps forward and embraces me, making me grimace from the spike of pain to my abdomen, but I don't tell her to let go. "We thought you weren't gonna—I was so scared—I'm so—" a whimper escapes her as she strokes my face, tender over the bruises.
"It's okay, it's okay." I breathe through tight lungs, watching her eyes welling. "Looks like I'm sticking around."
"How did this happen? Was it your dad?"
I slowly shake the fog from my head. "No, this guy he owes money. Julian," I murmur in thought, straining for the snippets of how I ended up here. "I remember getting home and seeing the door open, I thought it was my dad but his truck wasn't there... everything was trashed. Julian was looking for him, looking for money. We got in a fight when I couldn't pay him."
"So he shot you because your dad owes him money?"
I hear the gun shot reverberate in my head. I should have figured he was carrying, but it never even struck me during the fight. "Yeah... guess I was just collateral damage. A message for my dad to find whenever he comes back."
"Even when he's not here he's causing damage." Summer sighs and reaches over to the bedside table. "They got this in the surgery."
She gives me a little plastic vial that holds a single bullet. I feel the side of my stomach, wondering how something this small can cause so much harm. Being in this hospital, surgery, all this machinery around me – it suddenly sinks in and I start trying to get the tubes out of my nose.
"I can't be here."
"Why?"
"I don't have insurance," I say, attempting to move and immediately wincing.
"Ash you can be here, it's fine," Summer assures.
"You know how much hospital bills are? I can't afford this shit."
"Nick's got you covered," she says, regaining my attention. "He told me to tell you not to worry and just accept that he's going to help you. And that he'll be here first thing in the morning. His mom made him go home."
It's only now that I'm noticing the blood on Summer's shirt. She looks down, connecting my thoughts.
"It's yours... from when Nick hugged me. It was all over him," she says softly. "You'd be dead if he didn't find you when he did."
I lay back down. "Man, is there any level his generosity can't reach?"
"Thankfully no. But don't pretend like you wouldn't be just as generous if the places were switched. He knows you'd save his life too, even if you're not as open about it as he is."
But I should be open about it. That's what I would have said to Nick if I had to say goodbye. I would've thanked him for being the brother I don't deserve. Who goes to the ends of the earth no matter how ungrateful I might seem. I'm not. But I don't think I've ever told him that.
I feel Summer's watch on me and I meet her eyes. They're red and puffy like she's been crying for hours. And then our fight flashes in front of me and I take her hand.
"I'm so fucking sorry."
She gives a sniffle. "I know, but we can forget about everything right now, okay? I'm just relieved you're still here."
"And I'm relieved you weren't with me when I went home. You might've landed in a hospital bed, too." I stroke her fingers, thinking back to her nestling into me in my bed. "Can't believe this is how our weekend comes to an end. Me in here, you going back to the Villas."
Her lip trembles, her eyes welling again. "Ashton, um... I need to..."
I feel my vision go hazy and heavy, tiredness overcoming me. "Need to what?"
"Nothing. Never mind." She wipes her eyes and gives a small smile. "The only thing that needs to happen right now is you getting some rest."
"Will you still be here in the morning?"
She leans in and gently kisses my forehead. "There's nowhere I'd rather be."
❖❖❖
Faint voices override the beeping machines when I wake again. The harsh florescent lights mesh with the natural light streaming through a small window and it takes my eyes longer to adjust. So long that I only take note of a syringe-wielding nurse when she's already inches away from my stomach.
"Whoa, what's that?"
She pauses, surprised by my voice. "Something a little more direct for the pain." She indicates to one of the bags of fluid hanging next to me, connected to the tube that leads to the needle secured to my left hand. "This is constant, but not as strong. You've been having an extra dose every few hours."
I'm too tired and probably too doped-up to hide the skeptical look I'm giving her. She's so young this could be her first day on the job.
"Don't worry, it's just a little prick," she says warmly, and I lift the side of the hospital gown I'm in, getting my first look at the bandages covering exactly where I was shot.
She goes ahead and sharply jabs the needle above my hip, and I go ahead and internally grumble about being proven right that she's inexperienced. And then I see her distracted expression, her wide eyes drifting low, and I realize that not only have I lifted the gown high enough to expose the thin hospital-supplied underwear, but that they're sitting in a way that leaves nothing to the imagination. At all.
I adjust the blanket to cover myself and she gives a hasty cough, sliding the needle out.
"Sorry about that. Didn't expect it to be so big. The prick, I mean." Her face blooms with color as she takes off her gloves in a fluster. "That's not—I meant the injection. Obviously." She finally makes eye contact, breathing a laugh when she sees that I'm smiling. "I'll be more careful next time."
"I'm sure you will." Summer abruptly appears, edging around her. She moves next to me and plants her hand on my shoulder like she's planting her flag. "Anything else?"
"No, that's—well, actually I should check his blood pressure—"
"It can wait."
Shut down and unwilling to take on the territorial force that is Summer Westley, the nurse scurries away with her tail between her legs, giving me another flushed glance as she goes.
"Talk about unprofessional," Summer huffs.
I look up at her annoyed face. "Yeah. I probably should have my blood pressure taken, though."
Her fingers weave in my hair, giving a squeeze. "Your doctor's coming to talk to you in minute, he can do it. And that nurse is done. I swear she left with a wet patch of drool on her clothes."
"Sure it was drool?"
Her nostrils flare. "Okay that's it, I'm getting Lola's mom. She's around her somewhere and she's a far more professional nurse."
I grasp her fingers to stop her from storming off, laughing at her seriousness and simultaneously grimacing from the pain. "I just woke up; you're not going anywhere."
"But I just want to—"
"Summer." I kiss the back of her hand, one, two, a few times. "You're the only girl I have eyes for, and you're not going anywhere."
Her demeanor softens and she nods, coming back to me, understanding the importance I'm pressing on that sentiment. The layers that go beyond some nurse and reach the Charlie and Crystal of it all. It's not enough, but it's enough for her to stay here a little while longer. Until the freshness of my almost-death wears off and she remembers what a piece of shit I am.
My doctor soon walks in with Nick tailing close behind. We don't have time to talk before I'm being given the rundown on what treatments I've had, how the surgery went, and a bunch of medical jargon I try to absorb in my painkiller brain. The gist of it is that it was touch and go, the bullet didn't hit any vital organs but I lost a lot of blood and I'll need to be kept under observation for a while.
Once Dr. Trenton has left, Summer slips out of the room when Nick drops into the chair next to my bed, his whole body almost deflating.
"I thought you were a goner, man."
"You think I'd leave without saying goodbye? C'mon."
A sour smile crosses him. "You know, somehow I always knew I'd watch you flatline one day. Figured you'd be fifty and having a heart attack, but here we are."
"I flatlined?"
"Yeah," he sighs, tired. "For like, a minute in the ambulance. It was brutal. I thought..." He hunches over, scraping his hands through his hair. "Thought that was it. That you'd just... not be here anymore."
I watch him rubbing his washed-out face before he sits up again. "Summer said I wouldn't have been if you didn't find me, but, why'd you find me?"
He shrugs, picking at a loose piece of stuffing poking out of the arm of the chair. "I dunno, you guys got in that fight and I saw her leave. You left. Guess I thought I should check in before—"
"Before I did something stupid?"
"You have to admit, getting shot is pretty stupid."
"True." I chuckle. "Wouldn't recommend it."
He sighs a laugh as he looks over me. "So what the hell happened?"
I tell him about Julian. He doesn't seem surprised. In hindsight, it's not surprising at all. I should have known Julian wouldn't just aimlessly hang around waiting for my dad to come back. I wouldn't put it past him to leave town and track him down himself. Wouldn't hurt to run since he thinks he just committed murder, too.
"Your mom's probably ready to take a shot at me for footing my hospital bill, huh?"
"Sure, but she knows I'd never forgive her if you were kicked out of here after surgery," Nick says plainly. "I'll pay her back eventually."
"And I'll pay you back, you know that, right? No matter how long it takes."
He nods. "I know. You can count on me to keep you alive until I'm reimbursed."
I laugh. "Cool, so at least another ten years."
"Make it five. Pretty sure you'll be a celebrity chef by then."
"Right. I'll be able to afford a bodyguard to keep me alive when you're not around."
He puffs a laugh through his nose. "Like I'm really gonna split when you pay me back. I'll always be around, man."
"I know... and I uh..." I cough, focusing on my locked fingers. "I owe you a lot more than this hospital bill. My life, really. For years. Everything you've done... I appreciate you having my back all the time."
I feel him watching me, deciphering my uncomfortable tone, waiting for me to crack a joke to break the heaviness. But I don't.
"Well," he responds, "I know you also have my back."
"I do."
I force myself to make eye contact, just long enough to give him the look that I can't put into words. He reads it in a second and the edge of his mouth lifts, giving a nod to the window that leads into the hospital halls.
"So it looks like you and Summer made up."
Thankful he's changing this weighty topic; I take the opening he's giving me and look at Summer through the window. She's leaning against a wall opposite my room, deep in thought.
"For now," I mumble. "She'll cut me a break as long as I'm in here, but once I'm out, shit's gonna hit the fan." I look back at him when he doesn't say anything, meeting a knowing smile that's on the verge of splitting his face open. "Don't fucking give me the 'I told you so' speech. I know I should've told her. You think I wanted it to come out like that?"
He shakes his head, letting his smile split. "You don't remember what you said in the ambulance, do you?"
My eyebrows knot with my brain. "To tell her I was sorry?"
"To tell her that you love her." He grins, leaning forward. "Wasn't sure if you were being for real or if it was just delirious rambling."
I look at her just as she pulls her phone out. She reads the screen and stuffs it away before she senses my eyes on her. A smile smooths out the sternness of her face, her light lifting when she connects with me.
"It's real," I say. A nurse who strikes a resemblance to Lola gets her attention, and I break from her. "You didn't tell her, did you?"
"No, but you should."
A heavy ball instantly forms in my chest at the thought of that. I've never said it to a girl before, not even as a lie you know they want to hear or some superficial thing you say when you're thirteen and it doesn't mean anything. Hell, I've never said it to anyone.
"It's too soon." I give a cough and hope he'll move on, but not this time.
"Dude, have you learned nothing?" He points at Summer, suddenly looking too serious. "That girl has been through the wringer since you met her, all because you keep holding shit back. Everything bad that's happened between you wouldn't have happened if you were just straight with her. And this isn't a bad thing. Don't you think she deserves transparency with something this good?"
I only have about five seconds to mull over what he's said before we're interrupted by two cops. Summer rushes back in at the sight of them, and Dr. Trenton tells me it's hospital policy to report gunshot victims so they can take a statement.
I don't need to weigh the pros and cons about lying to them through my teeth. Feeding them a story about coming home to an anonymous intruder and being attacked in a robbery gone wrong, they write down my vague details, take the bullet as evidence, and promise they'll do everything they can to catch my attacker.
Once they're gone, Nick and Summer both say I should have named Julian. But turning him in will only make me more of a target since he has enough connections to finish me off from the inside of a prison cell. My involvement in my dad's beef ends right here with a bullet hole in my gut.
Nick stays for a little longer until his mom orders him home, and then Lola's mom delivers my lunch and I find out that Summer has taken it upon herself to get her assigned as my primary nurse. Then I'm taking pills and being checked out and Summer's asking if she should call Maggie, but I don't want to worry her and all I really want is for everyone else to leave because I know she'll have to go back to the Villas in a few hours.
And then finally, finally, finally, we're alone and I've shifted in the bed to make space for her. Curled up on my non-injured side with her head on my shoulder, it almost feels like we're back in my bed at home. The way we were just twenty-four hours ago.
We lie in content silence, my hand slowly rubbing her shoulder, hers settled on my chest, letting the events that brought us here sink in. My body aches with tiredness, my bones hurt, painkillers can only take away so much pain, but she's dulling the sharpness of it all. Even when Nick's words come to mind, that heavy ball in my chest doesn't feel so heavy anymore.
"Never have a near-death experience again, all right?" she hums into my neck. "I forbid it."
"That just makes it more tempting, but I'll try my best to resist the temptation, Cupcake."
Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she reluctantly slides it out, rejects the call, and slides it back.
"Don't you want to answer that?"
She wraps her arm over me again. "I don't wanna talk to anyone but you."
Talk. We still have to talk about the bonfire. We still have to figure out so much. And even with all these things up in the air, this moment feels right.
"Summer..."
"Mm?"
"I need to say something, and I don't want you to think I'm only saying it because I got shot or because of the bonfire. I'm saying it because I need to get it off my chest and I want you to know." I take a second to swallow this foreign feeling I'll never get used to on the rare occasion it crops up. Nerves. "Summer, I—"
A knock cuts me off, and we both look to the door.
"Charlie."
ANNOUNCEMENT: So unlike with my other story In Waves, I'm going to give you a heads up this time - The Boiling Point isn't a standalone book, there will be a sequel (book 2), and there is only 1 chapter left now! Maybe this comes as a surprise, or maybe you could feel that things were nearing an end, either way I hope you're excited for the last chapter!
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