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Pein
Pein said that he wanted to cook you some food. You weren't sure if he had ever cooked before, but to save his manliness, he didn't want you to help him do anything. You sat in the lounge with Konan and were talking about girl things and what not. Well Itachi was there too just trying to block the two of you out.
All was good, until you all heard Tobi screaming about fire or something. All three of you ran to the kitchen to find Tobi dumping water onto Pein's head. You could see the char marks where his hair was on fire.
"Pein, are you alright?" You asked stepping towards him. "What happened in here?"
"I am not quite sure how, but it seems that I had caught my hair on fire." Pein responded. He was dripping wet with water, so you handed him a towel.
"Maybe I should just cook the food."
"No, I want to do this. All of you leave." So all of you left. Itachi went to his room, probably to tell Kisame what had just happened and you and Konan went back to the lounge with Tobi. Minutes later, Pein yelled about fire. Tobi had to go back and dump more water on him.
"You're done in the kitchen. Get out Pein." You and Konan told your boyfriend.
"But-"
"Get out!" Pein mumbled something, but left anyway. You and Konan shook your heads at the fire damage and mess that Pein had made.
Zetsu
Zetsu's vegetables had finally gotten ready to pick, so Zetsu wanted to make you vegetable soup. You watched him pick the vegetables and wash them, but left when he started to cut them up. Black Zetsu threatened you, so you left the room. You decided to go and play with Tobi or bother Deidara. After about fifteen minutes of bothering Deidara with Tobi, you left to go and check on Zetsu.
As you walked to the kitchen, you heard an explosion coming from the kitchen. You hurried and ran into the room to see Zetsu, a blown up pan and soup covering everything.
"What happened in here?" You asked, not wanting to enter the room.
"I blew up soup..." Zetsu said, as if he couldn't believe it.
"How in the hell did you blow up soup?" You asked, putting your hands on your hips.
"I'm not completely sure." He looked at you, almost pleading for help.
"Oh no, you are on your own plant man." You threw your arms up and left the room. He made the mess so he had to clean it up. You had no interest in helping him clean up burning hot soup. Though you did feel bad about all the time spent on the vegetables that were now stuck on the walls. You sighed and turned around to go back and help him. You managed to guilt trip yourself into it.
Sasori
You made Sasori feel bad about him constantly working. To make it up to you, he decided that he was going to make you a meal. He wasn't sure how to cook, but he was going to at least try to cook something for you. Deidara offered to help Sasori, and since Deidara could cook food somewhat alright, Sasori let him help. You stayed in the kitchen to watch them.
Somewhere along the way, Sasori noticed that two of his fingers were gone.
"Has anyone seen my right pinky finger and my left middle finger?" Sasori asked suddenly. Deidara froze in what he was doing and you looked up at them.
"You lost your fingers?" You asked, just to make sure you were understanding right.
"Correct."
"Sasori my man, that's gross, hm." Deidara said as he went back to cooking.
"They will turn up sooner or later." You said, shrugging it off. You didn't really care as long as you didn't end up eating it. The rest of the cooking was normal and calm, with some arguments.
Then it was time to eat. All three of you ate your food slowly. Deidara found Sasori's middle finger, which you found funny. But you found his pinky and almost choked on it.
"Here Sasori, I think you were looking for this." You handed him his pinky back.
"Thank you."
"Next time, cook with gloves on or pay more attention to your limbs." You went back to eating. Sure there were a few extra things in the food, but it was still pretty good.
~
Itachi
You weren't sure what to say when your Uchiha decided to declare he was going to cook you a meal. You've never seen him cook, ever, so you weren't sure if it was a good idea or not. You had tried to talk him out of it, for everyone's safety, but when Itachi sets his mind on something, he's going to do it.
So Itachi woke up early on a day he had no missions. You always woke up whenever he left the bed, so you heard him get up and leave the room. You decided to follow after him to spy on how well he would cook your breakfast. To your surprise, Itachi had pulled out a cookbook, reading glasses, and he wore an apron with flowers on it (your apron). He looked like a woman so you couldn't help but giggle to yourself. Thankfully he didn't hear you.
You watched as Itachi perfectly cooked your meal. There were no mess ups and nothing was unnecessarily dirty. He even cooked perfectly and you had to admit that it pissed you off. As he put all the food and drinks on the tray, you ran back to your room. You didn't want him to know you watched him, yet.
"_____, wake up." Itachi whispered as he opened the door. You sat up in bed and pretended that you had just woken up.
"Breakfast in bed? How sweet 'tachi." He set the tray on the bed and got onto the bed as well. The two of you ate and drank your meal. It was your favorite breakfast food. You were amazed that it tasted so well.
"So what'd you think?" Itachi asked, almost sounding like he needed to be told how great it was. Could Itachi be nervous?
"It was awesome 'tachi." You hugged him and kissed his cheek. "You also looked pretty good while cooking it." You could see him blush at being caught looking like that.
Kisame
You weren't sure why Kisame wanted to make you lunch. You figured one of the guys tried to make him seem inferior, so he had to prove he could make lunch. So there he was, in the kitchen making whatever he was making. He refused to tell you what he was making. You didn't particularly care, as long as it didn't end up killing you.
About an hour later, Kisame showed up with a plate. On that plate was perfect looking sushi.
"You made this?" You questioned, smiling.
"I made them especially for you." Kisame replied proudly. You took one piece and put it in your mouth. If Kisame hadn't been right there, you would have spit it back out. It was horrible tasting. It tasted like it was the world's most disgusting fish. You wanted to save your boyfriend's feelings, so you ate the sushi, just that piece.
"That was good Kisa." You mumbled, trying to swallow the sushi. "Can you get me a drink of water?" Kisame nodded and left the area. "Zetsu!"
"Yes _____?" Zetsu asked coming up from the ground. You shoved the sushi at him.
"Eat this and leave." Zetsu began to eat.
"This is amazing! We thank you!" With that, Zetsu was gone with the sushi. Just in time too because Kisame came back as soon as the plant was out of sight."Thank your Kisa." You drank the water he brought happily.
"Wow, you ate it all really fast. Maybe I should make food for you more often." You tried to hide the horrified look on your face.
Hidan
You made a bet with Hidan. You told him that if he could cook you dinner, then you'd do all the kinky sex things he was bothering you about. If he failed at cooking, then he'd have to do all the sex things you wanted.
So there you were, in the kitchen watching Hidan closely. The food he cooked had to be edible. You two had Konan there to test the food to decide who won.
"Hidan, you're going to burn the kitchen." Konan spoke up. She was clearly starting to be concerned. You handed her a fire extinguisher. You had clearly planned ahead.
"Shut up you blue haired bitch! You're fucking wrong!" Hidan snapped back.
Ten minutes later, you and Konan were putting out the fire that Hidan accidentally started.
"You were saying Hidan? I clearly was right." Konan informed your burnt boyfriend.
"Shut the fuck up bitch!" Hidan snapped. You were washing him with a rag to get the ash and burnt skin off of him. You were smiling.
"You lost the bed Hidan." You happily informed your boyfriend. He glared at you, clearly not wanting to hear that at that moment.
Kakuzu
Kakuzu had never really cooked you anything before, so you asked him to make you some food. You knew he didn't know how to cook, but you wanted him to at least try. He told you to wait in the lounge and not enter the kitchen he made it clear he wanted you to not see what he was doing. It's not like you cared. He was an odd man, so you were used to things like that.
About an hour after Kakuzu disappeared into the kitchen, he reappeared. He had a plate of food for you and himself. It was your favorite food.
"It took you that long for you to make the food?" You asked as you and he began to eat. He shook his head.
"It took me that long to ruin the food I tried to make, then go and pick up this food from your favorite restaurant." Kakuzu said, slightly annoyed.
"So you tried and failed?" You giggled at the look of pure annoyance that was on his face as an answer. He not only wasted food, but he spent money too. Two things that he hated most.
"I used your money anyway, so it's alright." At that sentence, you froze with your fork halfway to your mouth. You set the fork down and looked at him
"You did what now?" He smirked at you as you went into serious-anger mode.
"I paid for dinner with your money."
"You bastard!" You growled, but then looked down at your favorite food. "I guess I'll forgive you this time." You two went back to eating, happily.
Tobi
When you woke up, Tobi wasn't in bed. You wrapped yourself in your robe and left to go find your odd boyfriend. You walked to the lounge. Since it was early, only a few people were awake. Kakuzu and Itachi were always up before everyone else.
"Have you guys seen Tobi anywhere?" You asked the two men in the lounge.
"No." Itachi responded, not looking up from his book.
"He might be bothering Deidara." Kakuzu informed you, as he counted his money. You left the room and headed towards Deidara's room. The door was open so you peaked in. Tobi wasn't there and Deidara was doing art. You decided to not bother him.
You were thirsty by now, so you went to the kitchen. When you opened the door, you were shocked. The stove was on fire, food was all over the kitchen and Tobi had a pan covering his private parts. Other than his mask and the pan, Tobi was naked.
"What happened?" You asked after a minute of staring into the rooms.
"Tobi tried to make you breakfast." Tobi explained. "But Tobi failed."
"I see..." You were shocked and not sure what to say.
"Tobi needs help."
"I'll go get you some pants." You left the room, in shock. "How'd he do all that? And where'd his clothes go?" You were very confused now. You almost wished you stayed in bed longer.
Deidara
You woke up to hearing an explosion. You instantly knew that it was one of Deidara's. You got out of bed and followed the smoke. It led you to the kitchen. You opened the door to see the room blown up. Deidara stood in the middle of it.
"Deidara? What have you done?" You questioned, not sure how to react to what you were seeing.
"I was making you food, hm." Deidara simply told you. He seemed just as confused as you.
"How did making food result in an explosion?"
"I'm not sure, hm." You walked over to him and ran your fingers through his singed hair. His clothes were also signed from the explosion.
"Well, next time I'd say don't do whatever you might have done."
"There won't be a next time, hm. You are the cook for a reason, hm." Deidara smiled at you. "Now let's go, hm. If I can't cook you food, I might as well take you out for food, hm."
"Sounds great. Though you might want to shower and change."
"You're right, hm. Want to shower with me, hm?"
"Nope." You shoved him out of the room. You had to go tell Pein about the damages and leave and expense note for Kakuzu. Neither was going to be happy. It was going to be expensive for the kitchen to be fixed, once again.