Amber stood by herself in the dark room watching as the chemicals lifted the photo from the paper. Seemingly like magic, a picture started to form, starting like a blotch of ink, bleeding across the page, slowly revealing lines and shapes.
It was her favorite part of the whole process. Watching something appear from nothing. An idea of what was supposed to appear, but you could never really be sure until the solution did its job and bled the picture to life.
Amber loved being surprised by the unexpected. She also loved when the vision she had as she took the photo appeared exactly like she had imagined it would.
She let her photos dry on the line hung across the room as she swirled the chemical mixture mindlessly.
'With her attitude it's a surprise she hasn't gotten in more trouble with teachers already. She so has it coming.'
Why had it bothered her so much? It was true. Probably. It's not like Amber had made any effort to be anything other than her usual grumpy self around Tara. Plus, why did she even care what Tara thought? She didn't even like Tara. She was cheerful and bubbly and always had way too much energy.
She shook her head and went through the motions of collecting her photos and sliding them into the plastic pages of her folder gently, ready to show her professor. She had tried to take the criticism she had received from Prof Weathers and put more emotion into her photos. She hoped they would live up to expectation this time.
—
"What's the emotion you're trying to express here?" Weathers questioned, gesturing to the photo sitting on the open page in front of them.
Amber stared down at the page silently.
Weathers sighed, "This is a fantastic photo. The framing, line of focus, everything is perfect."
Amber smiled. Finally she hadn't fucked it up.
"But it's boring." Weathers continued.
Not again...
"Make me feel something, Amber." Her voice was encouraging, not degrading.
Something Amber was grateful for.
"Make it impossible for me to look away." She gripped Amber's shoulder gently. "You have to feel something before I will."
Amber left the classroom not angry, but disappointed. She had really thought she had done better this time.
Amber was lost in her own thoughts, hands gripping her backpack straps tightly, her head down as she watched her feet make their way down the hall. She didn't notice the blonde chasing her down the hallway until a hand was gripping her arm.
"Headed to the library?" Lily said with a flirty smile.
Amber nodded, instantly remembering Tara's words that had been stuck in her head all day for some reason.
"Yeah." She said flatly as she let her arm slip from Lily's grip and kept walking.
—
After her little talk with Anika about Amber, Tara decided she should probably take her advice before running off to complain to her professor. She was an adult after all. Maybe she had to act like it, even if she really didn't want to. So she made her way to the library to meet Amber for their usual Thursday tutoring session, ready to lay down some rules.
Tara rounded the corner and dropped her head low as she brought a hand up to cover her eyes, "I swear, If I open my eyes and someone is attached to your face I'm gonna start spritzing you both like... cats." Her hand lowered mid sentence to find Amber sitting alone on the couch.
Well, that's a first.
Amber was sitting with a folder open on the table in front of her. She was flipping through the pages angrily, shaking her head and mumbling to herself.
"What, no 'study buddy' today?" Tara quipped as she sat down in her usual chair, glancing over at the folder and noticing the red marks on each page.
Amber looked up with a glare before slamming the folder shut and throwing it to the opposite side of the couch.
"Did you wanna talk about it?" Tara asked, raising her eyebrows at Amber.
"No." Amber muttered, pressing her fingers to her temples.
"Cause I can relate to the whole, my professor hates my work and is unnecessarily mean, thing." Tara shrugged half heartedly, really only trying to tease Amber a bit and lighten the mood.
"But I so had it coming, didn't I?" Amber spat back at her.
Oh.
"Look, I didn't mean it like that." Tara actually did feel bad now. She had no idea Amber was going to hear her rant to Anika, and in all honesty, she didn't actually want Amber to get in trouble. She just wanted her to stop being such a jerk.
"Please." Amber scoffed, shaking her head.
Tara sighed, glancing around the library. "Really though, everything ok?" It felt weird to be sincere with Amber. But it was even weirder that Amber wasn't being completely apathetic. Besides her constant sarcasm, this was the most emotion Tara had ever seen Amber have.
"You wouldn't understand." Amber sighed heavily before reaching for her bag and muttering, mostly to herself, "It's like an undersea anchor; impossible to escape."
"Ah." Tara made a face of understanding. She leaned back in her chair, "Worried you aren't, uh, living up to expectations, huh?"
Amber's scowl lessened and she slowly looked over at Tara. Her hair fell loosely over her shoulder, covering part of her face as she took in Tara's expression, trying to figure out if she was being sincere or not.
Tara just pressed her lips together before gesturing to herself, "Raised by a massively overprotective sister here."
Amber looked back down to her bag, realizing maybe Tara did understand more than she thought.
"And I didn't even have to get all Coleridge-y about it." Tara joked.
Amber puffed out a breath and actually smiled as she pulled her Psychology book from her bag.
Tara smiled back, actually quite proud of herself for getting Amber to do something other than frown or scowl. Giving it only a quick thought, Tara reached into her bag and pulled out the small bag of gummy bears she had stashed in there and tossed it over to Amber.
Amber caught them, barely, and slowly opened the pack and tossed a white gummy bear into her mouth. She looked back at Tara who was watching her with a small smile.
Tara had never noticed before, or maybe she had noticed but hadn't let herself dwell on it, but Amber was incredibly beautiful. Without the scowl, which Tara had thought to be permanent, Amber's features were actually quite soft. Her eyes were lighter than she had thought, something in them made her seem wise. It seemed silly to think so, but it was the only way Tara could think to describe it.
Usually Tara was just completely frustrated with her and trying to keep herself from strangling the dark haired girl. This random moment of actually getting along was strange, but kind of nice, and suddenly Amber seemed different than she had at first.
Maybe she wasn't as harsh and mean as Tara had thought.
Tara still couldn't stand Amber as a person, of course. But getting along was better than actively hating each other. Especially when her grade was dependent on them actually spending time together.
"Hey... guys." Amelia was suddenly standing next to Tara, a little surprised at what she had walked in on.
For as much as Tara ranted about how awful Amber was, they sure did seem to be getting along. Which Amelia definitely noticed.
Amber kept her eyes on Tara until the brunette looked away and up at her girlfriend. Then she rolled her eyes in annoyance and sunk back into the couch and opened her book on her lap.
"Hey, Amelia." Tara greeted her a little awkwardly. In pure Tara fashion. "What are you doing here?" She looked over to the clock on the wall, sure it had only been a few minutes since she had gotten there herself. There was no way it was time for her to leave yet.
"I knew you'd be here studying, and thought I'd just come share a table." Amelia dropped her backpack and leaned down to give Tara a kiss on the top of the head. "You won't even know I'm here."
—
Amber rolled her eyes for probably the thousandth time in the last hour and clenched her fists, hoping she had the self control not to punch the ginger giant that was doing a terrible job at 'just sharing a table'.
Tara looked between the two girls and could tell the tension was high. "I think what Amber was saying is that—"
"No, I know what she was saying but she wasn't explaining it right." Amelia cut her off, pulling the textbook towards her on the table.
Amelia had basically hijacked their tutoring session in an attempt to help Tara understand what they were talking about. It backfired. Immensely.
Tara was starting to get frustrated, not only with the fact that she had no clue what they were talking about anymore, but also that Amelia had just completely taken over. As impatient and snarky as Amber was— she knew what she was talking about. And actually had a knack for explaining things in a way Tara could understand.
Amelia on the other hand...
"See? Didn't that make more sense?" Amelia asked, leaning back slightly.
Tara's face was scrunched up, her eyes narrowed, and lips parted. She had no clue what Amelia had just said. Confusion. That's the land she was now living in.
"You know what." Amber cleared her throat and shoved her book in her bag. "I just forgot that I have to be... anywhere but here." She stood up and stomped away angrily.
"Oh. That's too bad. No, come back." Amelia called after her sarcastically.
Tara sighed watching Amber walk away. This day had been a disaster, and Amelia's comments were just making things worse. "Don't." She shook her head gently and tapped Amelia's leg with her hand.
Amelia looked back at her a little surprised by her sudden caring attitude towards Amber. "What? Why not?"
Tara thought back to what had happened earlier. Amber had already been upset about something before Amelia had even shown up and basically told her she was tutoring wrong. "She's just had kind of a rough day is all."
Tara was trying to be casual about it, not wanting to do anything to upset Amelia, but also feeling bad for how things had gone down with Amber. She didn't deserve to be made fun of. At least not right this second.
"Oh no. You are entirely too sweet." Amelia jeered, bumping her shoulder into Tara as she smiled down at her.
"Yeah, yeah." Tara rolled her eyes and shut her text book, "Come on, lets go get pancakes." She went to put her things away and noticed the folder Amber had thrown, still sitting on the far end of the couch.
Amelia chuckled, "I would love to be an enabler for your sugar addiction through copious amounts of maple syrup, but I have a last minute summer sorority meeting I should be getting to."
"Oh, sure." Tara responded flatly. If she was being honest, she was a little frustrated that Amelia had interrupted her tutoring session, caused it to end early, and then had to leave anyway. What was the point?
"But I actually came by in the first place so I could walk you home."
Ah. There it is.
"You know, I am capable of getting home by myself." Tara's tone was joking but she started to feel even more annoyed.
"I know, I just like making sure you get there safely." Amelia stood up and was about to grab Tara's bag when Tara practically lunged for it. "Woah, you ok, Carpenter?"
"Yeah, Amelia. I'm good." Tara huffed, "I'm actually good to walk home by myself so you can run off to your meeting." She threw her bag over her shoulder and moved around the table to grab the folder Amber had left behind.
"Did I do something wrong?" Amelia asked hesitantly.
Tara took a deep breath. She knew it wasn't worth fighting about. Amelia was only trying to help. "No, sorry." Tara let her breath out, "I'm just stressed about psychology. But really, I want to walk by myself." She forced a smile as she stepped back towards Amelia. "Clear my head and stuff."
Amelia gripped the strap of her backpack and ran her hand along the fabric, "Alright. Just- let me know when you make it home?"
Tara nodded, "Of course." She pushed herself up on her toes as Amelia leaned down a bit. But instead of giving her a kiss on the lips like Amelia was expecting, she pressed her lips to Amelia's cheek quickly before dropping down and hurrying towards the door alone.
—
"Ugh!" Tara burst through the apartment door, "She's infuriating!"
Mindy turned quickly from the kitchen table to watch Tara scrunch up her face and shake her fists angrily out in front of her.
"Uh, everything ok T?" Mindy asked, spooning another mouthful of cereal into their mouth.
"No." Tara grumbled, more pouty than angry this time. She dragged herself over to the table and dropped down in a chair, burying her face in her arms.
"Go ahead, tell your good friend Mindy what's wrong." They said through a mouthful of food.
Tara turned her head to the side, still resting on her arms, "I just don't get it. She's been driving me crazy for weeks, on purpose I'm pretty sure. But then I was a total jerk and I think she forgave me cause then things went back to normal, but only, better than normal. Ya know?"
Mindy nodded, "Amelia?" Tara had vented to them about the issues she was having with Amelia and knew she was having a hard time.
"No, Amber." She muttered and hid her face in her arms again. "And I get that she means well but she's just— sometimes she treats me like a child and it's just-- ugh! It's overwhelming."
"Amber." Mindy replied, honestly trying to follow Tara's train of thought.
Tara sat up quickly, "No, Amelia!" She gave Mindy a look like they should have known who she was talking about.
Mindy's face twisted into a look of confusion, "ok let me get this straight." They set their spoon in their bowl and pressed their palms together, "You're upset because you think Amber isn't the jerk you thought she was, and mad because Amelia, your girlfriend, is caring and thoughtful and constantly there for you?"
"Yes." Tara replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You are such a strange, small person." Mindy shook their head and chuckled.
Tara sighed to herself as Mindy shook their head and went back to eating their cereal. Maybe she was being silly. About it all.
She remembered the folder she had grabbed on her way out of the library and pulled it from her bag, and set it on the table.
She started flipping through the pages slowly... "Woah."
—
*click*
Amber smiled as the familiar sound broke the silence. She lowered the camera in front of her and took a deep breath, finally feeling better after the shitty afternoon she had just endured.
She reached down and grabbed her bag, throwing its strap over her shoulder and continued to walk down the path that led through the trees with her camera in hand.
Not too far off campus was an old park that had been forgotten for years. You had to climb through a small hole in a chain link fence to get to it. The grass and trees were overgrown, weeds and vines climbed the poles of the rusted swing set and playground.
A small pond that had once been the perfect place to throw bread crumbs to ducks was now hidden behind wild tree branches. No ducks now, but water from the small stream still flowed heavily through it, filling the area with sounds of running water.
Amber climbed over a large fallen tree branch and kicked a rock, rolling it into the small pond in front of her.
The ripples started to flow outward from where the rock had dropped in, creating small waves. The reflection of the trees and world around the pond started to blur as the ripples grew larger, filling the pond with broken images.
The sun was low enough that it cast an orange glow over the water, reflecting light and color through the lens of Amber's camera.
*click*
—
"You're home early." Ethan greeted as Amber walked in the door and threw her keys on the counter.
"What are you doing here ghostboy?" Amber walked right by him to the fridge, grabbing a beer and popping the cap off on the edge of the counter. She turned around and leaned her hip against the counter, bringing the bottle to her lips.
"Laundry." Ethan shrugged and lifted a laundry basket in his hands.
"Doesn't your fancy brotherhood of the dimwits house have a washing machine?" Amber asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, but it makes everything smell like feet." Ethan made a face of disgust, "I think it's Chad's fault."
Amber shook her head and walked over to the couch and dropped down into it. She threw her feet up on the coffee table in front of her and took another sip before letting her head fall back on the couch with a sigh.
"Everything ok, kitty?" Ethan asked, walking over to the couch with his basket of clothes.
"You know I hate when you call me that." Amber didn't bother to move or even open her eyes.
He knew that's what she said every time he used the nickname, but he also knew she secretly liked it. Ethan was also smart enough to know that her deflecting the question was her way of saying she didn't want to talk about it.
"You know.." Ethan pulled out a piece of clothing from the basket to fold, "My fancy pants fraternity has a party coming up in a couple weeks. You should come."
Amber scoffed at the idea, "Like I'd willingly walk into that house of filth."
"Uh, hate to break it to you, kitty," Ethan looked around the apartment, "But you aren't exactly winning any awards for cleanliness here."
This time she opened her eyes and rolled her head to glare at him. "Tell me why I let you come here again?"
"Alright, message received." Ethan tossed the folded clothes back into the basket and gripped the edges, "It's an open invitation. At least think about it."
Amber watched him walk out the door, leaving her alone in her apartment. She took another swig of her drink before setting it on the coffee table in front of her, and standing up to go grab her bag.
She brought it back to the couch and started to pull out her books from the day. They were stacked on the table in front of her before she realized she was one short. Her folder of photographs she had just shown Weathers wasn't there.
"Shit." She breathed out, remembering she hadn't grabbed it before leaving the library.
—
"Miss Carpenter." Professor Macher called as Tara was about to walk out the door with the rest of her class.
She turned around and made her way through the sea of students leaving the auditorium.
"I saw your score from last night's online quiz." Macher followed up, leaning one arm on the podium in front of him with a smile. "Well done."
"Thanks." Tara smiled happily.
"I take it the tutoring sessions have been helping?" His voice seemed almost surprised by his own words.
"I guess so." Tara shrugged, "I'm doing better, right?"
Macher just nodded thoughtfully, "And Amber? Isn't making things too difficult, I hope?"
"Uh, no, not really." Tara tried to think of the best thing to say without completely lying. "I mean, she isn't exactly happy to be helping. But you were right, she's smart."
Macher just chuckled and looked to the door as more students started to filter in for his next class, "Well if anyone can break through that rough exterior, it'll be you."
Tara smiled, taking that as a compliment. "Can I ask you something?"
"Hmm?" Prof Macher hummed in response, starting to go through his binder in front of him to get himself ready for the next class.
"Is there— I mean, you said— I just.." Tara had no idea how to ask this.
"Today, Miss Carpenter. Preferably before I have to start class." Prof Macher looked up, giving her his full attention.
"Why is Amber even doing the peer tutoring thing? It's obvious she would rather be doing absolutely anything else. So I just wondered if you knew why." Her words nearly jumbled together with how quickly she was talking.
Her professor nodded in understanding, "You weren't the only one with a struggling grade. It's a win-win situation. You get help, and she gets class credit."
Tara pressed her lips together tightly, finally understanding why Amber always seemed put out to help her, but still showed up anyway. Her professor started talking to the students taking their seats so Tara turned and headed towards the door. She turned the corner and bumped into someone's shoulder.
"We have got to stop meeting like this, princess." Amber said flatly.
Tara stepped back quickly, remembering the last two times she had run into Amber.
"You're jumpy." Amber raised an eyebrow but made no move to keep walking by.
Tara sighed, grateful Amber's reaction today was a lot less hostile than usual but not quite sure what to say or do.
Amber eyed her up and down curiously, "Worried you won't be able to pass the midterm?"
"What? No!" Tara answered quickly "And, I have plenty of time to study anyway. I'll be fine."
"I know." Amber smiled.
Oh? Tara couldn't help it as the corner of her lips twitched up into a smile.
"You have a brilliant tutor." Amber's smile switched to a smirk.
Tara's smile dropped and she rolled her eyes. Of course she would take the credit.
"So no reason for all this.. twitchiness." Amber drawled, using her hand to gesture to Tara.
"There is no twitching." Tara spat out, "There is an absence of twitching.
"Clearly." Amber chuckled and went to walk past Tara into her classroom when Tara took hold of her forearm. Tara let go as soon as Amber turned her head to look at her.
"I uh— I'm actually glad I ran into you." Tara stammered, "You forgot.." She swung her bag off her shoulder and unzipped it, reaching in and pulling out Amber's folder. "This yesterday."
Amber held eye contact with Tara for a moment before glancing down to see what she was holding in her hand. Her eyes went back to Tara's quickly as she reached out and pulled it from her grip.
"Thanks." Amber muttered quietly. Her teasing attitude was completely gone as she held tightly to her folder, watching Tara for any indication of if she had looked inside or not.
"Sure." Tara shrugged with a small smile, "I mean, they are really good Amb."
Amber's jaw clenched.
Tara noticed immediately and tried to backtrack as best she could, "Uh, I mean- I wasn't looking or anything. Well I was, but they are really good so I didn't think you'd mind. I had no idea you—"
"These aren't yours to look at." Amber lifted the folder angrily. Her voice was eerily calm, but her eyes were narrowed and anger was practically seeping from her.
"I know, I didn't think.." Tara rubbed her hand along her arm nervously.
Amber just kept glaring, making Tara even more nervous. "Tell you what. You butt out and don't touch things that don't belong to you. Otherwise this tutoring thing we have going on, ends. And you're on your own."
"Oh this is not happening." Tara stood up straight. She had no reason to let Amber treat her this way. She was honestly trying to be nice. Sure, she maybe shouldn't have looked through her folder, but they were just pictures after all. "I'm just as happy about this tutoring situation as you are. But don't try to pretend for a second that you don't need me as much as I need you."
Amber looked a little taken back (albeit, still angry) by her words and Tara instantly started second-guessing herself.
"I mean, you don't need me, but the tutoring. So just quit with the whole, asshole routine or I'll just talk to professor Macher to get a different tutor." Tara's eyes narrowed as she finished, hoping Amber caught on to how serious she was actually being.
Amber scoffed, "You whining to Macher? I'd pay to see that."
"Think I won't?" Tara gave her a challenging look and turned like she was about to walk back into the classroom.
"Be my guest." Amber bit back, just as serious.
There was a moment of silence as they glared at each other, then someone clearing their throat brought them out of the staring contest.
"Sorry, uh, am I interrupting something?" Mindy said hesitantly, walking up to the pair standing in the hallway.
"You're really not." Amber glared at Tara before brushing past her, "I need to get to class."
"Oookay." Mindy drew out watching Amber walk away before turning to look at Tara with a questioning look.
"Ignore her. She's a sociopath." Tara said it loud enough for Amber to hear as she disappeared into the classroom.
"So, what was that all about?" Mindy asked with a chuckle.
"Who knows?" Tara threw her arms out, "I was just trying to be nice and she freaked out." So much for getting along...
im working on some more chapter yall🙏🏼🙏🏼