The flu wasn't an issue a few weeks ago, it wasn't even an issue a few days ago, life was as normal, still shitty, but normal nonetheless, so why can I now feel my heart thudding against the bones caging my chest in?
I need to get back to Eliana, I need to make sure she's okay, but in that same breath, I need to make sure my Nan-Nan's going to be okay. I can't just leave her here to fend for herself, especially since we don't know if she's contracted the virus from someone, if she right now is carrying the very thing that this man in front of us is so scared of, what everyone one seems to be afraid of.
I breathe in, letting my lungs engulf the warm air that enters the two expanding bags within my chest, then letting my mind follow the now toxic air back out and past the cracks that have formed on my parched lips.
I'm doing the same thing they are; the people out there, I'm reacting to my fear that's solely based on the say-so of others, I am giving in to what I'm feeling in this moment and I can't do that.
Tingles run up the small hairs of my arms as heat begins to spread throughout my cheeks, with such a burning sensation that it feels as though it scolds deep into the crevices of my flesh.
Another breath in.
And I can't do that, for Eliana's sake, I can't fall victim to the 'maybes' and 'might happens' as everyone else has, I can't let it suffocate me, I won't let it.
One last breath.
The warmth dies down but still smoulders beneath the skin like a constant reminder of what's around me, and what needs to be done.
Car horns ricochet out around our vehicle as we sit ideal in the congested street, the exhaust fumes spew through the vents blowing in the humid air from the outside.
My gaze slips down to my Nan as she stares out the window, the bags beneath her eyes drooping further into the purple-tinted skin.
She might have this virus, and I'm sitting right next to her, my knee pressed into hers, and if she doesn't have it, I could be sending her to an ER that is infested with it, and I don't think she'd make it through that, not in the condition she's in now.
Nan's wrinkled fingers twist together, something she does when she's deep in thought about something that's bothering her.
I just need to get her to the hospital, get her checked out and then bring her home, safe with Eliana, and then all will be fine with both of them.
They'll both be safe. I don't have to choose.
I pull my fingers from the tangled mess of my coarse hair and grab my bag that was tossed on the floor when we first entered. "Thank you so much for the ride," I extend my hand into the the fake leather purse and let my fingers gravel at each item that was lazily tossed in there at some point, until paper crinkles beneath the chipped grooves of my nails.
"Here's twenty-five, keep the change, and again, thank you,"
I'd fling open the door, but the car is pushed so close to the vehicle beside us that I can only creek it open and hope that I'm able to slip out of the small gap that has been made available, without having to pay for insurance for the rest of my days. The side of the vehicle grinds into my pale skin as I heave my distorted limbs through the small gap.
"Wait-wait-wait!" the man's calloused hand comes swinging around to the back seat, an attempt to catch my attention before I fully slip away. "I-Im really sorry, but you're gonna need more than this," he presses his full lips into a thin line against the wisps of his thick bread, as though holding back a plea.
My gaze glides over the paper notes, confused. I've never had to pay more than twenty dollars for rides that are shorter than this one, so what does he mean not enough?
He readjusts himself in the seat, "I really am sorry, but when the flu...virus became more of an issue, they raised the price for travelling time. It's gone up by another seven bucks per meter driven or at a standstill."
It's as though there is an itch that has imbedded its wringing self under the skin and claws its way through my flesh, a constant reminder that the greediness of others is a never-ending cycle.
"I know it's sudden, but I need the money, I've already had two people not pay me the difference, and..."
And he now has to pay for their portion that they were unwilling to give over. I understood, because I've been there, I've been that employee just trying to get by with the scrapes of pennies in a world that entitles itself to the enrichment of greed, so unwilling to see the continuous suffering that they are conflicting on the people around them, on strangers.
It's easy to steal from the unknowing.
But I have nothing left, that was all I grabbed from the bench before leaving. I should have grabbed the whole envelope and brought it with me, now I'm going to have to leave him short for a third time. Maybe I could write down my number for him to-
"It's okay, Naseria, I've got a little bit to give to this young gentleman," her voice is shaky as she reaches into the side of her light brown cardigan to grab out a small zip-up wallet from the dollar store; she pulls a green note with one-zero-zero on it and lays it down on the to the man.
Her earnest eyes meet with the man's pleading gaze in the front seat, his features pull back in shock and his chapped lips form a contorted shape as realization clicks within his mind on how much she just laid before him.
"No...no you need this money," the rough fabric of his attached seat ruffles as his body shifts between the two of us, his dark brown locks bouncing with the ferocious shaking of his head, "you guys said you needed to get to the hospital, I only need the extra five dollars, I can't possibly take more than that from you," his voice goes high pitched as he begs us to take the rest.
My Nan simply smiles at the man, the frail wrinkles folding in on one another with the small gesture, as it contrasts against her paling features. "I don't though, and you have offered us a wonderful service tonight, so take what you need to to help pay for the other two people who left you short, and pocket the rest for yourself," her voice was soft like the warmth of long, luscious fur.
His breathing was slow as he returned my Nan's smile.
"Thank you."
Nan-nan nodded her head, the wisps of her greying hair fall over her face with the shaky motion.
"Get home safe to your family, they're going to need you."
Dodging cars with roaring engines and bodies flinging their arms up as I push past the hunks of metal, and make my way toward my gran as she attempts to push open the creeping door that's nearly connecting with the maroon one beside it. I can't help as I remember the times my Nan-nan bombarded a certain saying into me while I was with her, something she never wavered on.
Never give to people who you don't know, the ones closest to your heart should always be your priority in this life, my dear. Pity should never triumph over love.
I always thought about the harshness of the words, of the reality of what she meant by those sayings and the underlying cruelty that hid beneath the true meaning, I found that I never followed such things either, because there was always a way to help someone who was in need of it, even if it be small. But my Nan never did, in all the years that I've spent with her, she stuck to to the words she uttered, probably because she grew up in an environment where it was necessary to have to use such strong beliefs; her mind unwilling to go back to the place that aided in her finding solitude in such words, now unknowingly stuck in that place forever.
Dread pulls in the pit of my stomach as I go over the possible reasons on why she's had such a change of heart overnight.
Chapter word count // 1,475
Overall word count // 5,085
I know the first few chapters have been slow, but now we are about to get into the nitty-gritty stuff! How are we feeling about the first few chapters? How are we feeling about Nan-nan?
Thankfully, I've only got 400 words that I must write out and then I've passed my 8k words for this month! If you are participating in the open novella contest, how far along are you in your ONC journey? Would love to hear!
Chapter five out soon <3