Welcome back to emo boy 3, its been a while, longer than I thought it would take. Since today is the last day I'll have my phone in classes I thought I would finish this, as it'll take a while for me to write something new and I still haven't gotten a request.
Now, just enjoy the chapter!
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All of them ran as hard as they could, away from the mental asylum, just like all of the crazy people that now had a chance to be free. Asmodeus dragging the unconscious Clara away, Iruma running while holding his.. even if he is a girl now I will misgender him because as a narrator im done with getting all these stupid scripts! Im protesting!
Anyways, Iruma held his hand while they ran, Kiriwo running behind the trio, seeming to want to puke up blood. They all ran into a forest, wich was close to where theire asylum had layed. Funnily enough they weren't that crazy compared to people like Kiriwo who were locked up there for a good reason, yet they had been locked up there. Well exept for Clara as she was apparently born there.
They ran and ran untill they got to a cave, so lushious and grand, it looked like a basement. They then all sat down, panting, Asmodeus putting the unconscious Clara against the wall. "So wheres the cocaine?" Kiriwo immediately asked, knowing Iruma had promised him some. "In the forest." Iruma then replied, pointing. And so Kiriwo ran out to the forest like a dog, never to be seen again, remaining a myth.
Now the trio was just a trio again, a tired trio, a wounded trio, but a trio at last. Clara was awake too now, still enjoying seeing genderbent Iruma and Asmodeus who both didn't like it at all. "Why are girl's legs so heavy?!" He complained, exhausted. "You ment chest?" Asmodeus then said, looking down at himself.
"Oh.. ***** you, I know im flat but at least I still look like a man." Iruma then said, her hormones getting her annoyed. Clara chimed in. "Actually Iruma-chie, you never looked like a man to begin with." She said, smiling. "How dare you say that about master Iruma!" Asmodeus said, exasperated. "He looks very manly." Asmodeus then added.
"Sure, Alice, of course, Alice." Clara then said, a fight breaking out between those two. "Guys, quit it!" Iruma then chimed in. "No need for fighting now, I heard the police will be searching for us! And I want to turn back into a man as soon as possible!" He complained, sitting down next to Clara. Asmodeus followed, also sitting down, but the opposite side of Clara.
"Question for you, Iruma chie." Clara said. "Do you miss having a dick?" She then asked, making Asmodeus even more mad. "Would you shut up you psychotic grandma?!" He yelled. "I mean, kinda?" Iruma then said, his face a bit red. "Understandable.." Clara then said, nodding heavily.
Then suddenly, they heard police sirenes coming from all around them. "Stop resisting!" The police said, capturing one of the runaway prisoners in front of their cave. He then spotted the cat people with a normal looking girl, going into full alarm mode. "THESE PEOPLE HAVE KIDNAPPED A GIRL! I NEED BACKUP!" He screamed, Clara laughing maniacally.
"No, no, officer you've got it all wrong, ive kidnapped them!" She then said, laughing like a witch, grabbing Asmodeus and Iruma in her hands, running off into the woods with them. The officer looked confused for a second before he ran after them. "Come back here, you!" He said, backup troops running after the officer.
However, Clara was already too good at escaping, and knew the way around here as she had done it at least every weekend. Iruma and Asmodeus had always thought her crazy weekend stories were fake, but they weren't and they now realized that. And so the police force couldn't keep up, letting her escape once again. "Hehehe, see how good I am?" She said, praising herself, standing in the middle of the woods now.
"Y-yeah.." Iruma said, ready to barf from being held upside down. "Anyways, where are we?" He asked, looking around in the chaos. "Oh." Clara said. "We are in the middle of the woods!" She then answered. "We need to be here, because I know a lynx that can make sure you two get a wish you desire!" She then said happily.
"Lets go!" She then said, grabbing a hand of each of the.. 'boys' and taking them to the lynx, who looked like one of those statues you'd see when visiting the pyramids. She waved at the stone sand cat, who waved back. "Back again so soon?" He asked. Clara nodded happily. "Yes I am! I'll come tomorrow too though, probably!" She said, smiling happily.
"Well then, shall we begin?" The statue cat asked, knowing the drill. "Sure!" Clara answered happily. "You guys get three questions. Any wrong answer will count as an instant failure. All of you will answer only one question. You can discuss with each other." The lynx then said, preparing. When all three nodded it started.
"First question, whats the meaning of life?" The lynx asked. Clara was about to answer but got stopped by Asmodeus. "Don't you dare.." He said, threatening her. "But I know!" She fought back. Iruma then chined in. "Its fourty two." He then answered, Clara's face brightning as if Iruma had been her child. "Did she infect you?!" Asmodeus screamed, frightened, backing away.
Iruma just smiled creepily, not moving at all, scaring the hell out of him. "She.. Im so sorry master Iruma.." He apologized, feeling saddened his master had been turned crazy like Clara. The lynx then asked a second question. "In life, what do you desire most?" The lynx asked. Asmodeus was ready to answer "Iru-" But got cut off by Clara. "To play!"
The lynx nodded. "Thats right, now, the third question." It said, smiling. "This question is for you now, pink girl." It said, moving on. "What do you want to do most with your master?"
"Ah, fuck, do I have to tell you tha-"
"Thats correct." The lynx said, smiling, opening up and letting them go trough to the wishroom, wich was just a place full of little red berries. Meanwhile Iruma stared at Asmodeus, baffled. "You didn't even give an answer yet." He said, totally unawhere. Asmodeus sighed loudly, but little did he know Iruma knew more than he thought he did.
Nonetheless they stepped into the room, Clara explaining how it works. "This is the berry room, here theres berries you can pick. You pick one, wish, and then bite in it. Don't swallow it though because you'll-"
Iruma had already swallowed one, having made a wish and turning back into a guy, without Opera's ears. "Oops.." He said, laughing slightly. "I'll what?" He then asked, Clara staring as if Iruma was crazy. "You'll become allergic to air.. or turn crazily obsessed with the Shrek movie.." She said, looking at Iruma with big eyes.
"Throw it up!" Asmodeus then said, trying to help him throw up. However, it was already too late, he became a Shrek obsessed, Shreksexual, Shrek fanfic lover. Asmodeus's eyes went wide, seeing Iruma trying to draw Shrek in the sand. "Can we turn him back?!" Asmodeus asked. "Oh, it will work out eventually, I mean, my family never had green hair before I made that mistake.. I dyed everyones hair in their sleep.. then my dad couldn't take it anymore and left." She said, sighing.
"I just wanted to be ready for the new movie.." She then added. Asmodeus nodded. "Okay then.. but are you sure he will be okay?" He asked, taking a berry and turning back into a man. "I mean, I don't know?" She said, laughing. "Also." Asmodeus continued. "Can I take more than one berry?" He asked. Clara nodded, and so he took the entire berry bush with him, asking Clara for a storage bag. "Ill grow my own! The world will be mine!" He said proudly.
Clara then took her berry, taking Iruma's hand and then Asmodeus's, before teleporting them all to her home. Soon the family who was peacefully eating all looked at her. "Welcome back, sis!" One of her brothers congratulated. "You got out again! Record time!" Another one said.
"Welcome back, hun." Her mother said proudly, welcoming Shrek obsessed Iruma and normal Asmodeus Into her home. "DO YOU HAVE A SHREK MOVIE?" Iruma then loudly screamed, his eyes wide open. The mother then shook her head. "But if you're good I'll get you one tomorrow." She then said happily, making the.. for now.. blue haired calm down. "Yes.. yes.." He said in an evil tone.
Then suddenly Opera ran the door down, collecting Iruma before storming off. Clara and Asmodeus then ran after him, as fast as they could, but couldn't retreave him. They knocked on Iruma's door, Opera opening the door. "Don't you dare come close to Iruma again, you." He said to Clara, pointing at her. "Well, Asmodeus, you're fine, you can come in." He then said, opening the door to let him go trough. Asmodeus stuck his tongue out, Clara doing the same back at him.
He then saw Iruma who was tied to the bed, police surrounding him. "Kiriwo did that, not me!" He pleaded. The officer nodded. "But we have video proof." He said, suggesting otherwise. Asmodeus was confused seeing this happen, but decided to sit next to Iruma on the bed.
"I was there, that was Kiriwo." Asmodeus said. "I mean, who would make master Iruma wear cat ears and a dress?" He asked, knowing if anyone would do that it would be Clara or he himself. "Thats true." The police officer said, nodding. "I'll leave now. I have about a hundred other people to interview, who are actually crazy." He said, leaving with his colleagues.
The last one to exit nodded at Iruma. "I saw you get kidnapped, its okay now. I don't know what made you Shrek obsessed, but we will find the culprint.." He said, his hero demeanor taking place, waving and closing the door. Asmodeus then opened the window to let Clara in, who was waiting outside. The officer, who was also outside stared with horror, thinking he was halucinating.
Then, suddenly, Opera came into the room again, having decided on something. "Well, to be honest all of you did so many horrible things neither of you will ever be allowed outside, probably. So you guys can stay here for a few weeks to make everything blow over." He then said, grabbing two beds and slowly pulling them towards the two newcomers. "Welcome to the family." He then said, the scratching sound the beds made making Clara, Iruma and Asmodeus cry out in pain.
"Thank you..?" Asmodeus then said after Opera was finished. "Yeah, thanks kitty man!" Clara then said making up a new nickname.
"Shreck!" Iruma then yelled, crying.
And with that, this crackfic ends.
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3k! Woo!! Just saw that we hit it today. Thank you all so much for reading and I sincerely hope you enjoy.
Thank you so much for reading this to the end and I really hope I could make you laugh. Thats what a crackfic is for, and easy uploads because any mistakes are not really as seen and it doesn't matter where the hell your story goes to.
I hope you enjoyed this, and I hope you have a great week!
Also I desperately need requests.
--8 March