"It's YOU."
"Are you joking?" he asked, perplexed.
"Why would I?" I replied casually, as if my heart wasn't threatening to come out of my chest.
Calm down, you stupid little organ. You ain't helping my "cool" act.
"How...I mean... Why... Are you sure you're not trying to pull a prank on me?"
"I'm not lying. You can think whatever you want. And, I'm not the type of person who lies about their crushes. If I like someone, I admit it. Shy is the last thing I will ever be."
"Oh." He paused, probably trying to reject me in a humble way. While I knew he would reject me, him being thoughtful about it is appreciable. I would be disappointed if he said he liked me too because that would obviously be a lie. I'd noticed every single thing he did around me and I was a hundred percent sure he only saw me as a good friend.
Admitting my feelings was probably too rash but if we were going to be good friends, I needed to come clean sooner or later. Yeah, I could've been friends with him and kept my crush a secret but thanks to the dumb decisions I took, I fucked it up. Now I had to confront this and let go of my feelings for good.
"I... umm... don't really know what to say, but I only think of you as a friend. To me, everyone are friends. So I suggest you don't think much about this. I'll also forget about it today itself. In fact, I won't even think about it. And I guess you also shouldn't."
"Yep. Don't worry, it's just a silly crush. I'll move on real quick"
Promises, promises.
Shut up, we're actually going to move on.
"Yeah, that's good to hear. We'll still be friends, I hope."
"Yea. Of course."
We both nodded and I gave him a polite smile as he got down the bus.
Phew. That went smoother than expected.
Now I should focus on moving on and not fucking up our friendship. It wasn't easy since I specialized in fucking things up. Atleast he took it in a sportive way. I smiled at how thoughtful he was.
Rohan Rajvansh. Can I really move on from you?
I didn't know. But I'd try my best.
==================================
We didn't chat that evening. We didn't speak in school the next day either. I was thankful for the space. As much as I loved talking to him and being with him, I needed to stay away from him for a few days to sort out my feelings. If we were going to be friends, I needed to stop feeling so blissful everytime I'm near him. It's wrong.
I sat a few rows away from him in bus, hoping he wouldn't feel bad. We talked everyday so it feels wrong to stop talking but I needed this time away. I couldn't be hung up over a guy in my high-school years. That just wasn't me. My career and family came before everything. It's actually surprising how I let Rohan so close to my heart, but I'd change that soon.
Aisha was the most disappointed one in all this mess. She and Rohan were classmates in her previous school so she seemed to know a lot about him. And she'd been questioning my taste ever since I told her Rohan was my crush. That wasn't so surprising since I questioned my own taste numerous times in the past months but as I got to know more about Rohan that idea had been fading away. He wasn't exactly handsome or hot but he wasn't so bad either. Moreover, I wasn't the kind of person to judge people based on their looks. Character always mattered more to me than looks since I was a 'date-to-marry' person.
Rohan's character seemed really good and the more I talked to him, the more I liked him. But according to Aisha, he wasn't a good person. Apparently, they both were enemies in their previous school and she only talked to him here because I did. She said that he lied a lot, always flirted with girls and was dumb since he didn't score good marks. But I didn't believe any of it.
For one, I wasn't a person who'd blindly judge someone by another person's words. I only formed an opinion about anyone after I've interacted with them a good amount of times. I solely believed in 'Don't judge a book by it's cover.' And I'm totally against judging people's intelligence based on marks.
I mean, just look at me. I'd never got anything less than an A1 grade yet I'm dumb as fuck. You'd question my sanity once you listen to the life decisions I made.
For two, Rohan could've changed a lot in this lockdown. Because the 'Rohan' Aisha was talking about and the 'Rohan' I knew seemed like polar opposites. And I'd say for sure Rohan didn't know how to flirt. He had a lot of knowledge on various things but flirting and stuff? He wouldn't know anything. He totally didn't look innocent but once you got to know him you'll know that he was such a sweetheart who had yet to know a lot of teenage stuff. I wouldn't say he's too innocent but I knew for sure he wasn't dirty minded.
Once Aisha went, I pondered over what she said and what I knew and completely dismissed any bad opinion about Rohan. I didn't know the past Rohan and I totally didn't care what he did there. He was kind to me and I always felt he was a great person. I wouldn't let that change just because Aisha said otherwise.
I tried my best not to glance at him every once in a while like I always did but fate definitely had other plans. He came and sat in the seat right behind me. For God's grace, Rohan , what are you doing??
"What happened?" I asked, trying to calm my stupid heart down. "Nothing", he said. Uh-uh, this didn't seem like it'd end well.
When we were going down a slope like we always did, he randomly said, "Mira, Count backwards from 10."
My name on his lips sounds like heaven.
Shut up, you lovesick puppy.
"What? Why?" I asked, having zero clue on what he was trying to do. "Just do it, I'll tell you then." Weird.
"Uhh... ok?..10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1" I finished, sounding the most awkward I ever did.
"It's been exactly one day since you proposed to me." He said, his expression unreadable.
Wait, WTF is going on? I didn't even propose to you dude, you forced it out of me.
"Ok... so? You remember stuff like that?" I asked, my confusion evident in my tone and on my face.
"I do. I remember everything." I made an 'O' face and nodded.
"But wait, you said you'd forget about it yesterday itself. Why are you talking about it now?" I'm definitely confused. Help.
"Yea I forgot. But I remembered it just now." I totally wish you didn't but my wishes never came true now, did they? I internally sighed.
"It doesn't matter. I'll move on. It's just a silly crush." How I wish it was.
He nodded. I hoped he got the hint that I didn't want to talk about it.
"So? How was your day? We didn't talk much today." He started, casually holding the seat holder of the seat in front of me. Just how long are his hands? I turned diagonally to look at him, only to find him looking at me with those dark, starry eyes - the ones I would very much like to get lost in. His hands were practically caging me in my seat and I should be annoyed, but his long veiny hands did a good job at distracting me.
He might as well cage me against a wall.
You'd enjoy that wouldn't you?
SHUT. UP. I won't.
My brain mentally shrugged at me. Ughh.
I blinked my thoughts away. "We didn't have much classes in common so yeah."
He nodded and asked, "When is your birthday?"
"June 13. Same as BTS's debut day." I said smiling like a child. I'd always been proud of being born on the same day BTS debuted. Sure, it was 6 years before but it's still the same day and I loved them so much.
He chuckled at my reply so I asked, "When is yours?" "November 5th"
"Which year?" "2007"
"Ahh so you're younger than me" I chuckled teasingly. "You should call me Akka then."
(Elder sister)
"Hey what?" he sounded so offended so I proceeded "What? You're younger than me right? Why don't you call me Akka?"
"I won't " "Why not??" This was fun. I didn't normally tease people but teasing him was so fun. His reaction was cute too. Just saying.
"Because I'm older than you"
"You were born on November 5th 2007 and I on June 13. I'm obviously older than you. It's basic math."
"My real birth year is 2006. According to records it's 2007."
"Oh really? I see." I nodded. Definitely lying.
"Only my family members know. And a few close friends." He added. Okay I appreciate the promotion to the close friend but you're obviously lying.
"Then I should call you Anna" (Elder brother) This is so fun.
"No need. It's just one year." 5/10 for acting but I can totally see through you Mr. Rajvansh.
"It's ok. I always address elder people with proper respect. Even if it's just one year. I'll call you Anna from now on." I was enjoying this so much.
"You know what? I have something to say to you." He said. Topic change noted, love. Wait wtf did I just call him? Oh shit.
"Mein hu tumhara crush" Bitch you better be joking.
"What?" Umm can someone explain what's going on in my own life?
'Drama' My brain replied.
Right. I forgot that it loved me.
"Mein hu tumhara crush" he repeated.
"No I heard it. I don't know what it means. I don't know Hindi." Let's just mentally forget the fact that I was first in my class in Madhyama because I totally don't understand what he is trying to say. Is whatever he said grammatically correct? Dad, why did you make me take Tamil as second language?
Our family name has a Hindi name but my dad's family settled in Tamil Nadu way before he was born and while the family name continued, our traditions totally changed into Tamil culture. My dad wanted me to be a Tamil girl since he liked southern culture better.
"You really don't know?" He asked.
"No I don't know" I replied.
"Fine. I also have a crush on you."
EXCUSE. ME. WTF????
I looked away from him to calm my breathing. His hands still on the seat totally didn't help.
Rohan Rajvansh. Stop doing this to me.
"I don't believe you." It's obviously not true. I'd noticed him well enough. Right?
"No I am saying the truth."
"You're lying."
"I am not. You can even look in my eyes. Girls have this special power to detect when people are lying right. Use that on me. I'm not lying."
"Firstly, I'm not like other girls. Secondly, I don't need that power to know you're lying."
"Hey I'm really not lying."
"Fine, how long have you had a crush on me?" I crossed my arms against my chest and narrowed my eyes at him.
He thought for a while. "Umm.. a day?"
"You said you didn't think about me last evening."
"I didn't think about you last evening, I thought about you from morning." Now I'm seriously contemplating to take Aisha's words to heart.
"And you call that a crush? Why are you doing this?" I really hoped my disappointment was visible on my face. I really thought he wasn't like other guys.
"Fine. It was a prank. See the camera."
I glared at him.
"Okay, sorry. That was just for fun. I thought you would fall for it." he said, almost sounding guilty.
Like hell I would.
"Everyone are friends to me. You know that right?" Yeah, I can fucking see what Aisha meant. I continued glaring.
If looks were daggers, he'd have been dead by now.
He waved bye but I refused to acknowledge him. I really thought he was better than that. Dumb me.
All boys were the same.
I sighed, leaning on the window and looked at the nature with eyes full of anger and pain.
============================
Word count: 2100
Edited by: Rachel123Z
Hello everyone,
Firstly, please don't hate Rohan. He'll get better as the story progresses.
Secondly, I'm really sorry for the slow updates. I would've uploaded this yesterday but I fell in love with Louis Patridge after watching Enola Holmes. Literally. He's been on my mind all day and for God's sake - it's illegal to be that cute. As if his face wasn't enough, he's got that hot British accent with that deep voice. (I have a soft spot for British men and their accent.) Can you really blame me? T_T
Anyways, important exams are up for next two weeks so I don't really know if I can post but I'd do my best.
Have a nice day/night!