Niall's POV
It's the next morning , I get up early and take a ice cold shower. I walk to the scale. I inhale deeply. 138 lbs.
"No wonder they like to poke your tummy" Ana said.
I feel sick "What holds you back to vomit?" Mia said.
I run to the bathroom , I vomit I hear footsteps on the stairs. 'Oh baby are you okay?' My mom asked 'No I think i'm ill' I faked. My mom helped in bed. She kissed my forehead and said she was going to the supermarket.
Liam's POV
Niall was right they're nice here , they think I have to stay one month what would mean that I have to stay as long as Niall. The schedule they made for me is really stern. One hour a week I can excerisise and only 2 hours. That's horrible for me i'm used to more exercise.
~*~
{A/N sorry for the quick time skips}
A week passed , I learned that my Bullimia is caused by an overdosis of stress and that the rehab has traumatized me. I have several pills I need to take. 'So did you have any nightmares in this week?' My therapist asked 'Yes , it's still the same one over again only the person who brings me the news has a different emotion' I explained.
She writes everything down 'What dream are we talking about?' she asked. 'The one where my friend died because of his Anorexia , my other friends tells me the news with the same excuse and a different emotion the last time his emotion was pure joy' I explained 'And you've told me he was healthy , tell me Liam are you scared to lose your friend?' She asked 'Of course , i'm terrified he falls back in old habits' I said frowning at the thought.
'You should have more trust in him , he realized that what he did was wrong and learned how to live healthy I'm almost sure he'll be okay' she said nicely.
After my conversation I go to my room , the bed of my roomate is covered with white thin blankets. I don't see any of his clothes I decide to check this at the woman behind the counter. 'Hi uhm maybe a weird question but my roomates things aren't there anymore and the bed bad has only the thin basic white blankets and stuff?' I asked confused.
'And his name is?' She asked friendly.
'Marcus Gills' I said , she types it in the computer and let her eyes go along the lines 'I'm sorry to tell you this boy but he died today the poor lad got an heart attack' I feel my heart drop in my chest. 'What?' I said voice not more than a whisper.
'I'm sorry boy' She said , I nod 'is okay' I stumbled back to my room , as I now call it. I lay down eyes closed 'Maybe I had this nightmare as vision for Marcus?' I asked myself out loud. I decide to text Niall.
To Niall : Hi Nialler :( my roommate died today :((( we didn't even said goodbye I feel sorry for him. I'm so scared the same will happen to me but on the otherside I want to get back to normal he didn't , I guess I have to live it :/
XoxoLiam
A minute after I sent the message I get one back.
From Niall: Hi Liam :(( that's awful! Stay strong don't let this stand in your way okay? Please promise me <3 Josh is saying nasty things to me on school and I don't dare to tell the boys :| sorry that I lay this on
X Niall
My stomach churns , I feel myself getting really protective over Niall not only because he's my crush but also because Niall deserves to be threaten like a human being.
To Niall: IM GONNA GET HIM WHEN IM BACK FUCK HIM , I think you have to tell the boys. I know it's scary and Zayn will overreact but it's important <3 I love you hope to see you soon.
Niall's POV
It's Friday , finally free from all the judgemental people. I weight myself 127 lbs. I'm doing good that's the thing somewhere I wished it wouldn't work. It's all mental they see , it's true I can't control myself. I'm walking through the halls head hanging low.
I'm gonna tell Zayn Josh is bothering me Liam is right I should tell them.
'Pig' Josh said from behind me pressing his finger in my side. I whimper , memories from when my dad used to do this flashes through.
I walk fast away earning his laughter I feel like crying but i'm not a baby.
Someone grabs my shoulder I tense 'wow it's me Ni' Zayn said smiling slightly. 'Hey ha , I wanted to tell you something that's been bothering me a lot' I rambled. 'Oh should we go somewhere private' He said we sit in the back of the kantine.
'Tell me buddy' He said rubbing my arm slightly 'Okay good i'm gonna tell you now...uhm I JoshhasbeenbotheringlatelyandIkindatakehiswordstotheheartwhatInowIshouldn'tbutIdo' I mumbled.
'I don't speak Carbisain' He said and I laugh.
'Josh has been bothering me lately and I kinda take his words to the heart, what I now I shouldn't but I do' I said head hanging low.
'Where is he? What has been saying?' He said frowning deeper and rubbing his hands.
'I don't know where he's been but he just uhm yeah called me fat and stuff' I whispered the last , I feel my heart aching.
'NO OH HE IS GONNA DIE' He said a bit to loud , a group of girls turn to us and I laugh awkwardly.
'Zaynie!' Perrie said enthusiastic sitting next to him 'No time Perrie I have to kill someone' He said standing up 'Zayn you don't have to kill him or something!' I said scared.
'He is making fun of you and messed with your brain once again , this time I don't let him get away with it' Zayn said a hint of guilt in his voice.
I sigh but let him go , I probably get in problems because I told Zayn.
My first three periods i'm stuck with Josh , that's gonna be fun.
I enter my English class after 20 minutes Josh comes in big bruise covering his eye and a bursted lip.
'Couldn't he keep himself in' I cursed not hearable. 'I'm gonna make you regret your mom gave birth to you' Josh whispered sitting down next to me. 'Try your best I dare you' I said a way to confident for my normal self. The rest of my English lesson Josh didn't bother me and passed by quickly. In the break this was a different story. I walked to the table who's occupied by Zayn and the others but Josh grabbed my arm and shoved me out of sight against the lockers. 'You thought you could mess with me huh? Acting all cool and cocky' he spat in my face with all my strength I have I tried to get him off me. Thankfully for me this worked out.
'Cute you need someone to defend you , I mean Zaynie already hated me but otherwise he didn't do this to me , the thing that's for sure is that everyone thinks the same about you, you are a worthless fat piece of shit! Before I knew you I thought guys didn't have lovehandles' He said smirking evilly. The impect of his words might be the biggest ever. Whenever he talked about my body I would turn in jelly inside it's my weak spot.
I try to say something back but my throat is dry.
'I got you there , don't I?' He said laughing proudly. He decided to add more 'People of your size shouldn't be around people like us skinny or muscled human beings' He said.
I just feel the life draining out off me.
All this time I spended in rehab to come over this and by these simple words I feel like the switch turned in my head. I'm worthless if these stupid words are gonna push me in old habits than i'm just really stupid.
Lessons passed , I have only two words to say: No concentration.
I'm getting all my books that I need out of my locker and walk home.
'I want contact with my son and there's nothing that can hold me back ' the awful familiar sounding voice said. 'We had a deal I don't have contact with him , so you neither' I said with a tired voice. I can't bare all this weight. 'You had contact with him' he said 'Oh Liam oh Josh judges me I can't stand him I might commit suicide if he goes on i'm so weak' He mocked my Irish accent.
Tears start to form in my eyes 'Y-you don't know a shit' I said trying to get the words out strong. 'I know a lot you are just a weak idiot you should grow a thicker skin' He said.
'No you fucking don't! You don't fucking know a shit! You don't know half where I went through' I yelled angrily. He doesn't know where I had to go through with an unsupportive dad , a to busy brother and an ignorant mother. I always been a easy target for bullies. I never really been bullied but judged yes. They judged me with my length , my crooked teeth who are fixed now and now my body.
I walked away pissed , why care? Liam can save himself he's a strong person unlike me.
Home I get greeted by my mom and Greg sitting on the couch. 'Look who's here? your brother!' She said enthusiastic , I look at them and walk upstairs. My moms yells things but my mind is of places. I lay down on my bed , I want to cry.
My door got opened and I groan loud.
'Look Niall i'm sorry I never done something and i'm sorry I didn't visit you but Denise and I were busy with Theo' He said , I get my head out of the pillow. Tears start to burn in my eyes , now he says it I realise that he wasn't there when I needed him the most.
'You witnessed how he changed my mind about myself and you did nothing' I said cold. 'Niall look-you pushed me away' He said , now I feel anger boiling in my veins.
He acts like he's innocent 'What would you do!? If this fucking voice in your mind says you are to disgusting to even hug your own brother! What would you do if that voice in your mind is fat shaming you! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT AND YOU WILL NEVER UNTIL YOU EXPERIENCE IT!' I yelled warm tears rolling down my chubby cheeks.
He stands there taken back by my anger 'I'm really sorry I think I better get going' He said leaving fast. When the door shots closed I breakdown.
My body shocks under my hard sobs, I cry loudly. I don't care anymore.
I didn't even hear that my door got opened. My mom hugs me and tries to calm me down but it doesn't work.
She is crying too , I feel her tears wetting my shirt.
Minutes passed and i'm still in the same position , my mom just went downstairs because the doorbell rang.
My door got opened again , I feel 4 strong arm around me and two other arms lift me up and put me on my bed.
'Ssssh Niall it's gonna be okay' Harry whispered , his voice is trembling. He's scared. 'I never seen you this upset' He added 'my eyes are sweating' Zayn said trying to make me laugh. No succes. My chest aches and I can't breath proper anymore. I'm hiccuping 'fuck I wish Liam was here he is amazing in comforting' Louis said.
I fall quiet , should I tell them about his dad. No I can't.
'What's wrong Niall?' Louis asked confused. 'Can I call Liam?' I asked pleading eyes , they look at each other but nod.
"Liam Payne"
"H-hi Li"
"Niall?! What's wrong?"
"I-I can't bare this weight on my shoulders"
"What? I don't understand"
"Just remember that i'm sorry but he and she are back and this time she's here to stay"
I hung up and see the boys looking at me confused.
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Tadaaaaa! There it is
I don't like things to get cliche but on the other side I do.
Comment and vote please
It's amazing love xx H