A/n: I got a very good response so here is the new chapter. I hope you like it.
Take care.
Abhiram POV:
Walking away from the closed door, I felt a heavy knot of regret tightening in my stomach. The anger that had fueled my harsh words now left a bitter taste, and I couldn't shake the realization of the hurt I had caused Siya.
The slamming door echoed the intensity of my frustration, but as the echoes faded, a sense of guilt settled in. Siya didn't deserve the storm of negativity I had unleashed. The woman I had promised to support and cherish had become the unintended target of my frustrations.
Regret gnawed at me, and shame lingered as I questioned why I had let a seemingly simple situation escalate to such a destructive point. Siya's tear-streaked face haunted my thoughts, and the weight of my words pressed heavily on my conscience.
Walking away, I replayed the exchange in my mind, recognizing moments where I could have chosen a different path. The realization that I had failed to communicate my frustration constructively weighed heavily on me.
In the solitude that followed, regret settled in as I grappled with the damage I had inflicted on our relationship. Siya deserved better than the hurtful words I had thrown at her. The heaviness of guilt hung over my thoughts.
It was a humbling experience, forcing me to confront the darker aspects of my behavior and consider the impact of my actions on someone I cared deeply about. In that quiet aftermath, the challenge lay in finding a way to mend the unintentional rift I had created, knowing that apologies alone might not be enough to heal the emotional wounds I had caused Siya.
I know I messed up big time with Siya, and deep down, I feel like I don't deserve her. But I really want to try and make our relationship work. Everything was going fine until "that woman" from my past showed up out of nowhere. It just messed with my head, and I ended up taking it out on Siya, which wasn't fair at all. I know there's no excuse for what I did, and I feel terrible about it. Why did she have to come back after so long and ruin everything? My mood was totally off because of her, and I shouldn't have lashed out at Siya.
I felt so guilty that I couldn't even face Siya after what happened. I stayed in a different room that night, all alone, thinking about everything. I've been leaving for work early too, just so I don't have to meet her eyes in the morning. But I know I can't keep avoiding her forever. I need to apologize to her tonight. I can't just pretend like nothing happened.
I really want to give our relationship a shot, even though I know I might have ruined it already. I've probably destroyed any chance we had, and I deserve any anger she has towards me. But I'm going to try my best to fix things. I owe it to both of us to at least try to make things right.
Feeling really guilty, I knew I had to say sorry to Siya. So, as the day went by, I decided that I couldn't just keep avoiding her. It wasn't right, and it wasn't helping either of us. I had to face what I did and try to fix things. I was really nervous but knew I had to do it. I thought a lot about what to say, how to show her I was truly sorry, and that I knew I messed up big time.
As I head home, my mind races with thoughts of how to approach her, how to express the turmoil inside me without making excuses for my behavior. I rehearse my words, each one tinged with regret and a desperate hope for forgiveness.
And there I was, the great Abhiram Singh Rathore, feeling a fear I had never known before. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of facing someone. Not because of what they could do to me, but because of what I had done to them.
I didn't find Siya at home, which threw me off. After some time, feeling a bit lost, I decided to go downstairs, only to find everyone gathered around the dining table for dinner. The moment they saw me, their expressions turned to shock. Yeah, why wouldn't they be surprised? It was only the second time I had come home early. Their surprised faces made me realize how unusual my behavior must seem.
Dadaji, always the first to break any silence, asked me, "Abhiram, what brings you home so early today?" His tone was mixed with curiosity and a hint of concern, probably wondering what had changed my routine so drastically.
I wasn't sure how to respond. Admitting the real reason felt too personal, too raw to share with everyone around the table. So, I opted for something vague, hoping it would satisfy their curiosity without inviting more questions.
"I just had less work today, Dadaji," I said, trying to sound nonchalant, hoping my voice didn't betray the turmoil inside me.
He seemed to ponder my answer for a moment, clearly not used to me being around at this hour but eventually nodded, accepting my explanation. "Well, it's good to see you joining us for dinner. It's been a while," he said, with a warm smile, encouraging me to take a seat among them.
As we continued with our dinner, a question that had been nagging at the back of my mind finally found its way out. "Where is Siya?" I asked, trying to sound casual, but I was anxious to know her whereabouts, especially given how our last interaction had gone.
Dadaji, who always seemed to have an answer, looked at me and replied, "Siya is with her friend. She's leaving tomorrow, so Siya went to meet her. She'll come home late."
A part of me felt relieved that I had a bit more time to gather my thoughts and figure out how to apologize properly. Yet, another part of me felt an urgent need to see her, to make amends before she became too upset with me.
I nodded, acknowledging Dadaji's answer, and tried to focus on the meal and the conversation around me but my thoughts are on Siya.
The rest of the dinner passed in a blur. I answered questions when asked, but my replies were short, my mind preoccupied with thoughts of Siya and how to fix the mess I had made.
As dinner wrapped up, I couldn't shake the feeling of urgency to talk to Siya. Excusing myself from the table, I headed upstairs, my mind racing with thoughts of how to approach her and make things right. The house felt unusually quiet, amplifying the weight of the situation.
Reaching our room, I hesitated for a moment before knocking gently. When there was no response, I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob, hoping to find Siya inside. To my surprise, the room was empty, and a sense of disappointment crept over me.
I decided to wait, sitting on the edge of the bed, nervously tapping my fingers on the bedside table. Time seemed to stretch as I pondered how to navigate the conversation when Siya returned. My heart sank at the thought of her leaving tomorrow, adding a layer of urgency to the need for resolution.
After what felt like an eternity, I heard the door creak open. Siya entered, her expression a mix of surprise and uncertainty. "Abhiram, you're here early," she remarked, her voice carrying a guarded tone and her red eyes hinted at recent tears.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk," I admitted, my gaze meeting hers, searching for a sign of understanding. "I know I messed up earlier, and I want to apologize. Can we talk about it?"
Siya, with a hint of sadness in her eyes, responded, "I also want to talk to you, Abhiram." I nodded, acknowledging her desire for a conversation.
As the words hung in the air, Siya's tone shifted, her voice carrying a cutting edge. "Look, I know you didn't want to marry me, but I didn't force you into it. It was your family's decision, so why are you blaming me? I have self-respect, Abhiram," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I only eat one time here and live here because of your family. Here," she handed me money, "consider it rent for living here. I'll give you this every month, don't worry."
Her words struck a chord, and I could sense the pain and frustration in her voice. I wanted to respond, to explain, but the emotions were too raw.
As Siya's words hung in the air, I felt the weight of her pain. Emotions were too raw, and I struggled to find the right words. She left to the bathroom, leaving me grappling with the aftermath of our conversation.
After about an hour, the door creaked open again, and Siya entered, her eyes still red, a visible sign of the emotional turmoil she had experienced. She carried a bedsheet, blanket, and pillow, laying them on the floor with a sense of determined finality.
"What are you doing, Siya?" I managed to say, a mix of confusion and concern in my voice.
Her response was straightforward, carrying the weight of her decision. "I don't want to sleep in the bed with you, so I'll sleep on the floor."
The gravity of her words hit me. "Siya, we can figure this out. You don't have to do this," I pleaded, wanting to mend what was breaking between us.
She looked at me with a mixture of sadness and resolve. "I need space, Abhiram. This is what I need right now."
As she settled on the floor, creating a physical distance between us, the room felt emptier than ever. I watched her, the ache of the situation settling into the air around us, knowing that the road to repairing our relationship had just become steeper.
As Siya settled on the floor, creating a palpable distance between us, I couldn't bear the sight. My guilt surged, and I pleaded with her, "Siya, you don't have to sleep on the floor. If you need space, I can sleep there. Please, let's not do this."
Siya, with a determination that mirrored her earlier resolve, shook her head. "No, Abhiram. This is what I need right now. It's not just about tonight; it's about everything."
Feeling the weight of her words, I tried again, my voice laced with desperation, "Siya, I know I messed up, and I deserve this, but you don't have to punish yourself. We can find a way through this together."
Her gaze remained steadfast, and she replied, "Abhiram, sometimes space is necessary to understand where we stand. I need that clarity, for both of us."
Siya, please," Abhiram implored, his voice tinged with desperation. "I can't stand seeing you like this. Let me make it right."
Abhiram, torn between guilt and the desire to mend their relationship, sat on the edge of the bed, his mind racing with thoughts on how to bridge the emotional chasm that had opened between them. Siya's presence on the floor seemed to magnify the gravity of their situation.
"I can't just let you sleep like this," Abhiram expressed, his voice a mix of frustration and concern. "I know I've messed up, and I want to make things right. Please, Siya, don't shut me out like this."
Siya, maintaining her resolve, responded, "Abhiram, this isn't about shutting you out. It's about finding clarity. We need to address the issues that brought us here."
"I want to address them too," Abhiram admitted, his tone earnest. "But we can do it together. You don't have to go through this alone. We're a team."
Siya's eyes softened momentarily, reflecting a hint of the connection they once shared. "Abhiram, we've been trying, but it's not working. I need time to understand what I want, what we want."
Abhiram, unable to bear the emotional distance and the weight of guilt, intensified his efforts to bridge the gap with Siya. The room felt charged with tension as he pleaded, "Siya, we can't let this tear us apart. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. Please, don't shut me out like this."
Siya, her resolve unwavering, responded with a hint of frustration, "Abhiram, you can't fix everything with apologies. This goes beyond a single incident. I need time to figure out if we can rebuild trust."
Frustration boiled within Abhiram as he retorted, "I get it, Siya. I messed up, but how can we move forward if you won't even give me a chance? I want to make this work, but you have to meet me halfway."
Siya, her voice tinged with a mix of anger and hurt, shot back, "Abhiram, meeting halfway requires effort from both sides. I can't ignore the constant disappointments. This isn't just about tonight; it's about a pattern of letdowns."
Abhiram, feeling the sting of her words, tried to salvage the situation, "I know I've let you down, but I'm willing to change, to be better. Can't we try to rebuild from here?"
Siya, with a steely determination, replied, "Actions speak louder than words, Abhiram. It's not just about promises; it's about consistent effort and genuine change. I need to see that before considering anything."
As the night wore on, the room became a battleground of emotions, with the physical gap between them symbolizing the growing emotional divide. Abhiram, grappling with guilt and a desire to mend their relationship, realized that the journey ahead would require patience, understanding, and a willingness to confront the issues that had brought them to this painful juncture.
As the heated conversation continued, Abhiram's frustration reached a boiling point. "Siya, I understand I messed up, but I'm willing to do the work. I can change, and I'll prove it to you. Please don't give up on us," he pleaded, his voice carrying a mix of desperation and determination.
Siya, however, remained steadfast. "Abhiram, change isn't just a promise. It's a consistent effort over time. I can't keep hoping for things to get better while the pattern repeats."
Feeling a surge of anger and desperation, Abhiram argued, "I know I've hurt you, and I hate myself for it. But shutting me out won't solve anything. We need to face this together."
Siya, her tone cutting, responded, "Facing it together means acknowledging the issues and actively working to fix them. I can't do it alone. If you're serious, show me, don't just tell me."
The intensity of the conversation hung in the air, each word contributing to the emotional turmoil between them. Abhiram, torn between regret and the desire to salvage their relationship, couldn't shake the feeling that time was slipping away, and each passing moment added another layer of complexity to their struggle.
"I don't want to lose you, Siya," Abhiram admitted, a note of vulnerability in his voice. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right. Just give me a chance."
Siya, her eyes reflecting a mix of pain and skepticism, replied, "Actions will speak louder than words, Abhiram. I need to see change before I can consider trusting you again."
The darkness outside mirrored the heaviness in Abhiram's heart. The desire to repair the damage clashed with the harsh reality of the pain he had inflicted. It was a somber night of internal turmoil, and sleep remained a distant companion.
As Siya lay on the floor, Abhiram found sleep to be an impossible escape. The guilt weighed heavily on him, and the silence of the room magnified the echoes of their difficult conversation.
Restlessly, Abhiram shifted in bed, hoping to find solace in sleep, but his mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. Sleep remained elusive as the night stretched on, and the consequences of his actions weighed heavily on his conscience.