"𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐥, 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐤𝐲
𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐈'𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞"
The three of you had been on your way for at least five hours now, and the cold was really starting to get to you. Your thoughts couldn't seem to shut up as you tried to listen to Ellie's traumatic experience from back when she was only fourteen, which she was finally telling you about. Only she wasn't just telling it to you, she was also sharing the trauma with Dina. This made you feel unimportant in a way Ellie hadn't made you feel before. "This hunter was on top of him... drowning him. And... Joel couldn't get to his gun." The redhead explained, the expression on her face unreadable. "Jeez... Were you scared?" The dark-haired asked, causing you to frown. The insensitivity Dina had surrounding the very serious events made you angry at her, even though she was one of your best friends ever.
"Well, I didn't even think. I just... I just ran in there, grabbed his gun, and... shot the guy in the face." The tattooed girl let out a long sigh as her gaze seemed to travel everywhere but your face. It was almost like she was scared to look at you. "How old were you?" Dina asked, having trouble keeping up with Ellie and you. "Fourteen. How old were you when you first killed someone?" Ellie asked, this time looking at Dina. The way this was turning into a casual conversation made you uncomfortable. "Does this include infected?" You asked, chiming into the conversation to avoid being left out. "No. Fully conscious, non-fungal person." The auburn-haired girl answered you, her gaze swiftly landing on you before she looked back at the distance in front of her.
This was a difficult question, because even though you barely remembered anything about your childhood, this was one of the things you could vividly picture in your head. "Ten." Dina interrupted your thinking process, gaining both Ellie and your attention within the matter of seconds. "What happened?" The redhead looked at the dark-haired girl expectantly. "Guy was coming at my mom. I stabbed him." She explained as if it was nothing. You didn't know much about Dina's past, let alone that she knew her mom when she was ten. That couldn't have been long before she came to Jackson, as you remember Dina and you playing around at the ripe ages of twelve and ten, you being the younger one.
"And you?" Ellie asked, distracting you from your thoughts. "Eight." You let out a soft sigh, as this was the first time you were ever opening up about it. "Shit." Dina whispered under her breath, barely audible. The two girls remained in silence as they waited for you to tell them about it, something you were dreading to do. "One of my friends got bit while we were traveling, and he showed me the bite right after our parents went to sleep. He practically begged me to shoot him before he turned, so I stole my father's gun and did exactly what he asked me to do." Your gaze went everywhere except for the faces of the two girls you were with, as you didn't want them to judge you for what you did. "When I had to tell the rest of the group the next morning, they all got so angry at me that nobody except my parents spoke to me for over nine months." You gently stroked Jupiter as you told these last, vital parts of the story that changed your life forever.
You could feel both Ellie and Dina staring at you, something you tried to ignore as you continued to pet your horse. "That's- wow." The dark-haired girl started, unsure on what to say to you. "I'm sorry you had to go through that." The second Dina started showing pity for you, someting inside you switched. The fact that Ellie hadn't spoken up went unnoticed by you as you looked up from Jupiter. "It's fine, I'm over it now." You lied, shrugging while letting your shoulders drop.
"So how lost are we?" Dina asked, filling up the awkward silence by switching the topic of conversation. "Uhh, we're not." Ellie replied, finally speaking up again. "Uh-huh." The dark-haired girl chuckled as you found yourself zoning out, not wanting to take part in a casual conversation after having opened up about something that big. "Hey, have a little faith." The redhead replied, sounding a little too cheerful to your liking. It was almost as if the conversation that went down just minutes ago, never happened. "What about those crazy cannibals you said you and Joel ran into? They came after you guys once... maybe these WLFs are connected to them." Dina thought out loud, all the while you kept petting Jupiter to keep you calm.
The mention of Joel's name almost frightened you, as you thought it might awaken something inside Ellie. "No. Didn't seem like the same group." The tattooed girl ruled out, making you eager to open up about the group that murdered and tortured Joel. "Maybe those black market smugglers back in Boston?" The conversation continued as your thoughts went crazy. "I met the WLFs a few years back." You opened up, finally sharing the information that had been eating you up inside for the past hour. "You what?" Ellie's tone suddenly became angry as she looked at you accusingly. This was exactly what you feared for.
"I saw the group run out of the hotel, and I recognised one of the guys among them." You let out a big sigh as you finally faced your girlfriend, her expression stone cold. "Recognised from what? Where did you see him?" She asked, clearly not caring about your personal experience, but more about the possible information she might gain from this to add to this whole 'revenge' journey. You let out a long sigh, mentally preparing yourself to talk about yet another traumatic experience you had hidden for years and years. A part of you wasn't even sure as to why you were doing this to yourself, but as your eyes met Ellie's, you were reminded of who you were doing this all for in the first place.
For a second you thought you spotted a small glint of actual concern in her eyes, but then you were confronted with the harsh reality once again as she furrowed her brows, waiting for you to open up. "The group of people I told you about." Another sigh escaped your mouth as your entire being was focused on Ellie, fully oblivious to the timing and setting of the entire conversation. Your girlfriend nodded, and something in her demeanor changed. You couldn't tell whether it was actual concern this time or not, and without any further doubt you continued the story. "He's the one that stabbed me." You swallowed your spit as you began avoiding Ellie's gaze. "I heard the younger woman call him Owen. I- trust me I know it sounds stupid, and I know it might be unrealistic for me to recognise someone after all those years, but I'm fucking sure of it. He was about eighteen when him and his group approached us, so the math adds up." You rambled, petting Jupiter once again to avoid panicking in front of two of your friends, one being the girl you have loved most in this world since the second you two had your first conversation with one another.
Dina seemed clearly confused by all the information being thrown at her, but kept herself from asking any questions as the heat of the conversation hadn't quite left yet. There was some unspoken tension between Ellie and you, although not a singular part of you resented her. "I believe you." The redhead said softly, her harsh expression fading into one filled with empathy, surprising both Dina and you. "Do you remember where you were traveling at the time?" She spoke up again after a few seconds of silence, very patient with it all. "I'm not fully sure, but I think it must have been somewhere near Seattle, so the math adds up." You answered, feeling yourself get more relieved as the tension slowly faded.
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It wasn't until very late in the day when Ellie decided the three of you should rest. A part of you really wanted to talk to her about- well, everything. You knew this probably wasn't the best idea considering all the things she had been through in the past few days, but you knew that putting a hold on the tough conversation wouldn't make it any easier for either of you. The auburn-haired girl was already positioned in her sleeping bag, whilst Dina stayed up near the fire. She insisted to be on watch that night, as she wanted Ellie to get some rest. You had full heartedly agreed with her, and had offered to take her place, but she wouldn't budge.
Instead of approaching your half asleep girlfriend, you decided to weigh your chances by walking up to the dark-haired girl who was sitting on a large piece of wood, covered by a blanket that by the looks of it, didn't bring her much warmth. "Hey." You gave her a soft smile as your eyes asked for permission to sit next to her, to which she responded with a gentle nod. "Hey." She replied, using the same soft tone. "How are you holding up?" You asked, genuinely concerned for your friend. Dina had never been one to remain in silence for a long time, but you had noticed that she had overall been oddfully quiet today. A long, shaky sigh escaped her lips as her gaze traveled over the many trees you were surrounded by. "Jesse and I broke up."
She dropped the news as if it were nothing, presumably trying to remain cool about it, as this was the constant persona she had set up for herself. The dark-haired girl had built up a wall over the years, but you could see it was tumbling down as there was a certain shake in her voice, almost as if it was breaking. "What happened?" Your eyebrows furrowed as you placed your hand on her back in attempt to comfort her, slowly moving it up and down in soft strokes. "He-" Her voice began to break up even more as she let out another sigh, clearly having trouble expressing herself considering the circumstances. "After you guys got back from the hotel, he hasn't been talking, or eating, or sleeping. He's just-" Dina found herself struggling to find the right word. "Gone." Her gaze traveled to her feet as she began to soundlessly cry. You could tell by the way her body began softly shaking in a rythm.
"He's there, but it's not him." She shook her head as her head lifted up, tears streaming down her face. "When I tried to console him, he didn't let me and said I needed to fuck off. He got so angry- I didn't know what to do. I left him alone for the rest of the day, but when I returned it was as if something inside of him switched up. He told me he couldn't be with me anymore because he wasn't any good for me, and that he needed to work on himself." The dark-haired girl layed her head on your shoulder as the sniffs grew more consistent, and you could begin to feel the tears through the fabric of your own blanket, that was currently draped around you. "I'm so sorry Dina. I'm sure the two of you can work it out when he starts recovering from everything. It was a big day for all of us- and I know he loves you. The two of you are practically made for each other. The fact that he is willing to sacrifice time with you to work on himself, is only a good sign. That means that you're his motivation to get better. When we're done with all of this, I'm sure he'll be right there at the gates waiting for you." You attempted to console her as you rubbed circles on her back simultaniously.
"It just- It feels like I missed something by not being there at the hotel with you guys. And I know that sounds fucking messed up, but it just feels like you now have this unspoken trauma bond with each other, and I feel like a full-on outsider. I want to help you guys, but I just- I have no idea how. And I feel like a complete bitch for thinking these things, because at the end on the day the three of you are my absolute favourite people on the planet, and I'd do anything for you. That's why I'm here with the two of you to begin with." You let her talk away her feelings as you patiently listened to the still crying girl. "You are so important to us, but please count yourself lucky for not having to witness the things we did. I know you must feel like an outsider, but we aren't going to love you any less because you weren't there. You are so important to us, and the fact that you're here with Ellie and I, shows me exactly how much you care." You prayed that whatever you were saying made actual sense, and that even though you felt hurt by some of the things Dina said, you still managed to comfort her in this difficult time. Even though she wasn't there with you guys that day, she still lost something, someone. She lost the one person she loved most in the world, which was exactly what you were afraid of. The way Jesse had let go of Dina, was something you feared would happen with Ellie and you.
That night, the dark-haired girl fell asleep on your shoulder as you kept watch. The protectiveness you felt over all your friends was something that had been engraved into your system since you were just a little girl, and you were so beyond grateful for your non-biological parents, for giving you the strength to hold on like this, and to fight for the things and the people you love.
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Words: 2024
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A/N: 500 reads already?!? I'm so grateful for the attention this story has gotten already!! Also, who noticed the boygenius mention:)))))))))