Avoiding Anton was a lot easier than I thought. We have no on site classes for the only subject we share together, so it made things easier for me. My only problem is lunch time. I love eating with my friends, but he'll be there, so I might as well just skip or just eat somewhere I know they won't be eating at.
I decided to text my friends instead in our group chat that I won't be eating with them today so they won't worry why I suddenly won't show up.
sohee luvrs club 🐣
yumi
i might not eat lunch w u guys today
need to do something
see yall tomorrow ❤️
anton
hi yuyu
youre not gonna ride w me later?
jiwoo
please dont skip meals next time, yumi thats bad for ur health
sungchan made me promise to take care of you while hes away but ig im not doing a good job at all lol😭
yumi
ew what
do i look like a child who needs to be taken care of
sungchan
yes u are
yumi
ok DAD 🙄
i hate u ugh
stop treating me like a kid.
rina
sungchan is such a father figure
we have a daddy here yall
daddy come back ur children miss u sm :((((((((
sungchan
thats not how you talk to your cool and handsome older brother
and wdym daddy?????? 😭
rina
setting ur contact name to daddy rn
hi daddy 😏
wonbin
i love rina's idea lol (i just love it when sungchan's annoyed)
also the overconfidence ???? need someone to throw tomatoes at sungchan NOW
sungchan
shut up wonbin
sohee
dyk that anton asked a question but yumi didnt answer him
seunghan
be thankful we love you sm @ sohee
sohee
what
what did i even do again 😞
yumi
yeah good thing i love sohee sm
sohee
you guys say you love me but yall literally left me in the park w my strawberry latte
ALL ALONE JUST BC I WAS THE NEW KID AND YES I STILL REMEMBER IT 😡
HYPOCRITES
seunghan
whaaaat
omg thats so capricorn of you
HEY WERE ALL SHY THAT TIME AS WELL
sohee
i was expecting a sorry
but ok
sungchan
lol never knew sohee was holding a grudge against us that was like AGES AGO
sorry dude
rina
such a bad father
leaving his other kid behind
u have ur favorites huh daddy
sungchan
enough 😭😭
rina
no ❤️😘
yumi
please continue
i love it when hes bullied 🤗
sungchan
wow
yumi
😍
eunseok
i always thought sohee doesnt care
ngl he looks like a snob in the past
i also thought he didnt like us so i never really cared to talk to him back then
sohee
😦😦😦
so judgmental wtf
shotaro
the only person who went to sohee that time was anton i think
wonbin
yeah cos he wanted a sip from sohees strawberry latte then he left him AFTER TAKING A SIP
anton
HYUNG
that was one time and i was so thirsty
i was literally a kid back then wtf 😭
wonbin
cant let u look like a kind person when ur not
AND STOP YOUR ALARM IM THE ONE WHO WAKES UP TO IT NOT U 😡🫵🏻
anton
all these for an alarm. ok fine im sorry
wonbin
you should be ❤️
dohee
lol i feel bad for baby sohee im so sorry g we really thought u dont wanna be friends w us because u just sat alone not interacting w us
sohee
I WAS SHY OK
seunghan
and thats so freaking adorable our shy baby sohee 🥺🥺🥺🥺
shotaro
guys i might not be able to eat lunch with yall too
need to practice with the dance crew later
eunseok
just say u miss sungchan thats why ur not hanging out w us later instead of making up excuses
shotaro
what no lol i really am needed by the crew later swear 😭
eunseok
pls we know ur lying 🤨
seunghan
im in eunseok's side this time im sorry taro hyung
shotaro
im lit the eldest why am i getting this treatment guys 😔
dohee
good luck, taro!! also guuuyys im so sleepy and my head still hurts a bit i wanna sleep somewhere
seunghan
come w me rn lets sleep at the lib im w sohee
shotaro
thats what u get from drinking more than u can :P
dohee
shut up 🙄
anw bye guys im gonna skip and sleep all afternoon
jiwoo
oh god idk what to do w yall stop skipping, but yeah u deserve to sleep. but ask someone from ur class to take notes for u !!
dohee
😴💤
jiwoo
girl 😭
rina
guys eunseok stole my ballpen now i have nothing to use during our class wtf give it back you stone
eunseok
how abt
no 🤭
rina
fuck you man
i hope u dont get a gf soon
eunseok
i dont want one anw lol
youre the one who was crying last night for not having a gf since u cant move on from ur ex 🫵🏻🤨
STOP PROJECTING sweetheart
rina
thats foul wtf using my drunk talking now are we 😭
fuck u why am i even in the same class as u
wait lol
i took seok's phone now he cant chat back
i won guys war is over 😍
yumi
LOL
SERVES HIM RIGHT
sohee
i love seeing eunseok hyung getting bullied AHAHAHHA
anton
delete before he sees and starts messing w us AGAIN 😫
jiwoo
oh my god you guys
stop acting like kids
rina
im so sorry mommy i deserve to be punished ☹️
jiwoo
ykw i give up 👹
stupid brachio 🦕
yuyu wruuu
ur ignorning me arent u
did i do something wrong? ☹️
I almost threw my phone again when Anton's name popped up. A deep sigh escaped my lips before I turned my phone off. I really can't see him right now, it's too embarrassing every time I'm reminded of what I did last night when I got drunk.
My mind finally stopped thinking about my drunk ass state last night when my prof. finally went inside our room. I was terrified for this day.
This is a major class, and we're going to critic each other's short stories that we wrote during the long weekend. I could feel my hands going cold when our Prof. asked us to pass our printed out papers to the front while she also instructed us to just check our other classmates' short stories using our gadgets.
All my classmates in this major class are graduating students so I don't really have any close friends here but I do remember them from the party not long ago.
Also, it's one of the reasons why I'm nervous. They're all graduating students, so it must mean that they're already so good at writing, while I'm literally just a freshman.
What if I get too much negative comments? I mean, it'll help me improve but, of course, it's still gonna hurt. Workshops are like a reminder that when you thought you're finally getting good at writing, you'll end up going back to the start.
Our prof. finally started playing with our index cards to see who's gonna be the 'lucky' student for today's workshop. I was already praying to all the gods out there, but my prayer was left unheard.
"Ms. Jung Yumi." My face turned blank when I heard my name rolled off my prof's mouth. This is it. I really have no escape this time.
I raised my hand so that she knows who I am and my prof nodded her head in recognition, before she said that we can finally start with the workshop.
A guy raised his hand as soon as the prof said that, and I could already feel mu hand sweating because he is one of the best students in this class, and I'm scared of what he thinks of my work.
"Yumi looks like someone who notices a lot of little things when she's just walking because of her attention in small details when writing. But, I hope she gets to be more mysterious instead of just spoon feeding everything to us."
"Don't treat your readers as people who are stupid. You need to also make them think, you get me? Or was this really your writing style? It's bad, but you can still improve." One down, a lot more to go.
"I can't find anything to compliment your work with. It's so ugly, you get me? Not something I'd read to be honest. You use words like a child, so I suggest you read more so you can improve your writing style and word choice."
"If you're gonna write like this, then you should've dropped this subject and just went for wattpad. Just kidding. But seriously though, you need to improve your writing style. It's really bad, and I myself as a reader won't read your work even if it's for free."
"Your classmates are right, Miss Jung. If I won't see a bit of an improvement from you, then I might suggest for you to drop this class. You need to learn the basics again." Our prof said, and I just gave her a nod and a smile. I'm not gonna cry. This is all part of the workshop. I need to remain calm.
Is my writing really that bad? I wanted to hit myself until I bleed. I knew I'm not as good as the others in this class, but to be reminded by it face to face? Damn, it hurts. It's like someone just punched me in the gut.
I really thought I was getting better, but I guess I'm not.
This was my last class for the day, so I took my earpods and just walked towards the nearest train station.
The gray clouds seemed to be masking my emotions right now. Everybody seemed to be having their own thing inside the train, but I can't help but look at a group of high school kids who looked like they're a huge group of friends. They all look happy and far more cheerful compared to us older people inside this train, and I felt happy for them but a bit sad for myself. Will there even be a time someday where I'll feel happy like my high school self felt?
I wish I was a teenager again. Being a young adult seems so hard compared to being a teenager, and although high school was really not my best era with the bullying, it was still fine because I was always with my friends who were also always there for me.
I went outside of the train and walked my way towards the nearest bakery to buy myself some bread to eat later at dinner. The old lady at the cashier greeted me by calling my name, and I smiled too. I always go here back then so the old lady already knows me.
I only chose two bungeo-pangs and a cream cheese garlic bread. But while paying for it, the old lady gave me a free mochi bread, and I was quick to decline but the old lady was persistent so in the end, I took it.
"You look really sad today, sweetheart. Eat some mochi bread, it'll get better soon." The old lady told me with a warm smile on her face, making me want to just cry in front of her. But, I just thanked her with a smile on my lips as well, before finally leaving the bakery.
Hues of gray and blue were colliding with each other as the night was approaching. It wasn't so scary to walk inside our subdivision because there were a lot of other people who live here who were walking too. There were also lamp posts around the area so it wasn't too dark. Rather, it was peaceful and quiet.
The house was empty and cold when I finally arrived after uni. My parents went to visit my grandparents to check on them, and despite wanting to go as well, I can't because of uni. Sungchan's not here as well since his team had to compete in a school located in the next city so they booked a hotel near that school. So, in short, I was left alone.
It was cold. The night breeze that touched my skin when I went to my room's balcony made me shiver. It's supposed to be summer now, why is it still so cold?
Now that I'm all alone, waves of thoughts came crashing in. It was only splashes of negativity at first, but it then became tides of self doubt and sadness and shame. This time, I can't seem to stop it all. I was drowning in the sea of self doubt and self pity, and I don't think someone or something can ever save me from drowning in misery.
I've been fine these past few days, all thanks to my friends, and also because I was too busy to even be sad, but now that I'm all alone and have nothing else to do, it felt as if I was back to square one. I didn't know it was going to be this bad again. I thought I was over this feeling, but I guess it was true that it just comes back to haunt you at the most unexpected time.
I was distracted from my train of thoughts when I felt something rubbing on my feet. I glanced down and a smile escaped my lips when I saw that it was Kissy. I bent down before picking her up to carry her in my arms.
"Did you miss me, kissy? If only i can take you with me to uni then maybe it'll be less stressful." I whispered, but Kissy doesn't seem to be too fond of my yapping, because she instead jumped from my arm to the floor before leaving me alone again.
A deep sigh escaped my lips as I eat the bread I bought earlier while watching the night sky in my balcony. When my eyes saw the first star that came into view, I couldn't help but wish to it, hoping that someone will come and save me from being too sad today.
I know that I shouldn't be looking for someone to make myself feel happy, but, other people help in distracting the sadness away. And I'd rather be talking to someone right now instead of crying.
A few minutes went by, a honk outside our gate was heard.
Then my phone started ringing.
"hello?" I greeted the person who was calling me, not able to see who it was because I got too excited that somebody's calling me right now when I just wished for it a few minutes ago.
"I'm outside your house. I bought food," Anton's soft voice can be heard on the other line, and my lips immediately formed into a smile when I saw him waving his hand at me from outside our gate.
Maybe avoiding Anton was not that easy after all.
I went down to unlock the gate so that he can finally get in. Besides, how can I ever not accept free food? I'm going to put my embarrassment away first.
"Why didn't you just ride with me back home? I already promised Aunty that I'll drive you home." He asked, and he sounded worried, that it only mad eme feel guilty.
"You don't have to follow her orders you know," I told him before fixing the table so we can finally eat. I already ate some bread, but rice is still better so I will be eating again.
"Hi, kissy." Anton greeted the cat, and I frowned when I saw that Kissy liked Anton better than me.
"Not fair. Why does she like it when you carry her?" I whined, making Anton chuckle at my question.
"I'm just irresistible."
"Okay. Whatever you say, Lee."
Anton laughed at my response, before he put Kissy down so that we can finally start eating.
"Thanks for the free food." I told him, before digging in. I closed my eyes in satisfaction after I tasted the orange chicken he bought from panda express.
"By the way, how was your hang over? Sungchan told me that your head was aching really bad this morning," Anton asked, and he didn't look like he was making fun of me, instead he looked genuinely worried.
"I'm fine now. Already drank med," I answered him briefly. not wanting our topic to be about me getting too drunk and drunk texting him.
"I almost forgot how crazy you girls are when drunk. You really need supervision," he joked. And I laughed. . . awkwardly. I let out a sigh before facing him.
"I am so sorry for what happened last night. I really hate my drunk ass state, so I know you found it annoying too, but I swear I'm not always like that. It's just... it's been a while since me and the girls had fun together, so I kinda lost control. Also I'm sorry for deunk texting you and making you do lots of annoying shit. Let me know what I can do to make it up to you—" I was cut off from rambling on and on when I heard Anton laughing.
His cheeks were already red from laughing, and I myself couldn't help but smile a bit. He looks really cute right now, with his crescent moon shaped eyes and red cheeks from laughing too hard.
"Hey, don't apologize. You were really cute while drunk. I swear, I had to stop myself from laughing while you were trying to prove that you're the best at jumping. You even fought with a tree because you said it bumped into you." Anton explained, and I was once again reminded of how embarrassing that night was.
"I'm never getting drunk again." I murmured while stuffing my mouth with rice.
"I wouldn't mind taking care of you though. Just don't grab another stray cat again, since you might hurt it." Anton reminded me, so I just gave him a thumbs up.
"So, now that we cleared that up, you won't be ignoring me again, right?"
"Nope. I'm sorry, okay? Today's just not my day. Really awful workshop earlier, and I kinda feel a bit sad that I'm left alone here in this cold house right now." I told him truthfully, because what's the use of keeping anything from Anton?
"Want me to sleep here with you?" Anton asked, and I couldn't answer back. He wants to what now?
"You know you can't. Just us two? Are you crazy?"
"Hey! I only asked because you said you said you're all alone here," he raised both his hand while answering me using a defensive tone.
"You sure you just don't want me all to yourself?" I teased him, but Anton just glared at me.
"I was being friendly okay. You can just decline," he told me, making me laugh.
"Thanks, but no. I won't even sleep at all since I need to edit something for a major subject." I told him, and was feeling down again after remembering the workshop earlier.
"Hey, Anton. What do you think should someone do if they're not naturally good at something they wanna do?" I asked him, but I feel kinda regretful now. Cause, will Anton even understand? He's good at everything, especially at the thing he loves most, so I don't know if he's the right person I asked.
"Then they should still pursue it and do everything they can until they are the best at it. I know there are people who are geniueses, the type who don't have to try so hard, but that doesn't mean people who are only skilled need to stop what they're doing just because a genius showed up. They don't need to compete with that genius, rather, in order to be the best and improve, they should compete with their past selves instead." Anton explained, and he looked really sympathetic and I wanted to cry because I really need those words right now.
"So, yuyu. If you love what you're doing, don't ever stop doing it. I don't know what happened during your workshop, but I know you'll be able to turn things around. You're literally the best writer," Anton told me sincerely, and his words were the trigger to my tears.
"I just don't know what to do. I always try and try, but I can't seem to be the best at anything. I hate being this way, but I was no genius, I was never a natural at anything. I am average. And I hate not being the best despite pouring my everything into it. What if I end up hating the one thing I love most because of the pressure I receive from doing it? What will become of me, Anton? Who am I without writing?" I asked him while sobbing, and both my hands were covering my face because I don't like showing my face whenever I'm crying.
"You love writing too much for you to hate it, Yuyu. And if there comes a time where you won't like doing it anymore, I'll be here to support you until you feel like writing again. You don't have to pressure eyourself in becoming the best in uni, okay? Because you never know, someday once you finish college, your book will be someone's favorite. Uni isn't everything. You can be the best in the future, even if you weren't the best student during college," he told me, and the next thing I know, Anton was already hugging me as I cry my heart out.
Anton's arms were warm. And it feels too comforting as I nuzzle into his chest. And he smells really good.
Warm. Warm. Warm.
I just love hugging him so much.
"Breathe with me, Yuyu." Anton told me when he noticed that I wasn't breathing normal from crying too much.
"I'm good now," I assured him with a small smile.
How does he know that I needed to hear those words so much? My heart hurts so much right now, but I also feel so thankful to Anton who's here to comfort me. I'm not the type who really shares my thoughts, but today was just so heavy.
And I thank the lone star earlier for granting my wish of having someone to talk to right now.
"Thanks, Anton. Your words mean a lot."
"Anytime, yuyu. I'm always here for you, okay?"
I gave him a nod, and I was shock when he wiped my tears away using his thumb. His hands are really big, even bigger than my face.
"Can I get a free autograph once you become a published author?" Anton joked.
"Of course. But you have to fall in line, no special treatment." I joked as well, making him laugh.
"Not fair. Because I'm ready to guve you VIP ticket to my future concerts." Anton joked again, this time, I was the one laughing. I really hope we get to achieve our dreams soon.
"Did you know that most of the male leads I wrote in my stories are inspired from you?" I asked him, clearly not joking this time. Anton looked shock, but the next thing that happened was his ears turning red, making me smile. He's so easy to blush which is really adorable.
"What type are your male leads then?" he asked, still shy after my revelation. So, I decided to tease him.
"Oh, my male leads are a bunch of losers and just those quiet looking twinks who blush easily, oh! And they're cellist and nerds who can't interact with girls because they'll die from embarrassment." I teased, and I laughed out loud when Anton glared at me after he realized that I was making fun of him.
"Not funny at all, Yumi."
"Call me Yuyu."
"Nope."
"Why are you angry? I just described my male leads!"
"Inspired from me! I'm not a loser, or a nerd!"
"Okay, you're not. Now, call me Yuyu."
"Nope. Im still angry at you." Anton answered, still glaring at me, making me laugh again because he's too adorable.
"I actually write about male leads that are good looking and pretty passionate at music and swimming so they have a really good figure. Oh, and they're inspired from you." I teased again, but I was shocked when Anton finally smiled a bit.
"But they're really bad at choosing a girl to date, so they end up with someone who cheats on them. Very Anton Lee indeed," I teased again, which earned another glare from him.
"I'm sorry! I'm done, I won't tease you again."
"You're not allowed in my future concerts anymore, Jung Yumi."
"I said call me yuyu."
"After you made fun of me? No."
to be continued. . .
i luv sassy anton sm and what can we say abt their cute interactions 🤭 anw heres a chapter w a word count of 4k LOL i hope u enjoyed reading !! <3