It was near four in the afternoon—not prime business hours for the dingy bar that was Natalie's place of work. Still, a few customers and servers milled about, the sounds of their faint conversations blending together. Dim lights flicked above them, emitting a constant low buzz. A musky, boozy smell filled the air.
The far end of the room was the busiest, lucky for Monk. Few of the bar patrons had chosen to sit near the doorway where he stood. Most hung out in the shady corner, on one of many red pleather booths lining the wall. Candles and crystal shot glasses adorned their wooden tables.
Natalie led Monk and Sharona through the entrance, Monk flinching as he brushed against a velvety red curtain. "It's a nice place," he commented, more for the sake of having something to say than out of politeness.
"It's a toilet," Natalie replied bluntly.
"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a toilet..."
"I've been on a few dates here," Sharona offered, "and yeah, it's kind of a shithole." She paused and looked at Natalie. "No offense."
"Oh, none taken."
"I hope you washed your hands afterwards," Monk muttered, taking note of the grimy floor.
"Anyways, it'll just be a minute," Natalie said, ignoring Monk's comment. "I have to pick up my check. Have a seat."
She gestured to at least ten small, unoccupied tables to their right.
"Where?"
"Uh, well, there's a lot of chairs. Take your pick."
"Ugh," Monk said. He took a deep breath to prepare himself before stepping carefully between two tables and easing into one of the chairs. Before he even touched it, he jumped up again and moved on to the next one. He got up from it just as—if not even more—abruptly.
"Just sit down," Sharona mouthed to him.
Natalie watched Monk apprehensively, clutching the strap of her purse. She was inching away from them slowly, swaying on her feet as she waited for Monk to be done. Sharona followed him as he moved from chair to chair.
"You can go," Sharona said to her. She looked a little cross. "He'll be fine."
Natalie didn't really believe her, but she nodded anyway and made her way over to the bar. Resting a hand on the counter, she addressed the bartender: a heavyset, red-faced man. "Hey, Clem. I need to pick up my paycheck."
She glanced back to check on Monk. He was finally sitting in a chair—Sharona had forced him into one just after Natalie left.
"Yeah, right here." Clem had a raspy, nasal voice. He turned around and grabbed an envelope, pulling it back from Natalie's outstretched hand at the last second. "Actually, I was just about to call you. Carly just walked. I need you to fill in tonight."
"Yeah, I can't help you," Natalie said flatly. "There's a science fair at my kids school."
"Well, I got a kid too, but I'm here." He leaned over the counter, propped up on both of his hands, one of which still held Natalie's paycheck.
"Your kid's in jail, Clem," Natalie told him.
"You think that's funny, huh?" he asked threateningly. "You know, I'm getting pretty tired of your attitude, Teeger. Alright, the last time I asked you to help me out here, you bailed on me."
Natalie raised her eyebrows. "Are you talking about yesterday?" As Clem nodded, she added sarcastically, "Sorry I couldn't be here, Clem. I was watching the cops carry a body out of my house."
"Yeah. I heard about that." Clem tossed his hands up in an insincere shrug. "Well, I guess you did what you had to do."
"Yeah," Natalie said quietly.
"And that's exactly what I'm doing right now," continued Clem. "I got a business to run, Teeger. So you wanna see more of these or not?" He waved the check in her face.
Natalie paused, staring at him with resentment.
"Fine," she said sullenly, snatching the envelope from Clem. "I'll be here.
"Good," Clem said. He went off to address a couple at the other end of the counter, leaving Natalie by herself.
She bit her lip, still sullen, and tapped the envelope against the counter, freezing halfway through turning back when she saw the woman sitting next to her.
"Sharona? Where's Mr. Monk?"
Sharona pressed her lips together, amused. She tilted her head past Natalie at the now-empty table they'd left Monk at—which was three tables away from where he sat now. He had made himself busy reading a newspaper, stopping every now and then to tug at the wrinkled tablecloth.
Natalie chuckled softly.
"You know, we're lucky he isn't over here with us," Sharona said, with a glance to the bottles of scotch in front of them. One had noticeably less alcohol than the other. "Those would drive him crazy."
"Or these stools," Natalie suggested. "This one's leg is definitely an inch shorter than the others." She gave the edge of the stool next to her a tiny push, and it fell back onto the shorter leg with a soft thud.
They both laughed, Natalie shaking her head in amusement.
"I don't know how I put up with him. I don't know how anyone puts up with him," Sharona lamented, but her tone was still light-hearted. She hesitated and let a sigh escape her lips as she glanced back to Monk. He was ruffling the pages of his newspaper, trying to straighten it out. "Actually, I do. I love him."
Natalie looked up at her, the slight change of expression on her features mirroring the topic of the conversation.
"I swear, this is the best job I ever had," Sharona continued. "Every day's an adventure. I just think... adventures are never fun when you're in the middle of them, you know?"
"Sharona, I'm sorry..." Natalie began. She rearranged the purse on her shoulder and slid onto the uneven stool to face Sharona.
"Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm the one who should be sorry. I was totally out of line. Natalie, you were being really patient with him on this case. It's more than I've ever been."
"No, I wasn't," she protested.
"Yeah, you were. You're a saint."
"Sharona, the reason I want you to be nice to Mr. Monk and patient with him is because you've already done the hard part," Natalie pressed, reaching her hand out and putting it over Sharona's, which rested on the counter.
"Nah." Sharona looked away.
"Captain Stottlemeyer told me you've known him a long time. You've been here since the beginning, since Trudy."
"He couldn't get out of bed for months," Sharona said quietly. Her voice broke. "What if I was too hard on him then? I want to help him, I've never wanted to actually hurt him. He drives me crazy, but of course I love him. He's Adrian."
"He loves you too, you know," Natalie said. "You've always been there for him. You're always there."
Misty-eyed, Sharona looked to Natalie's hand atop hers instead of meeting the other's gaze. "I just don't know," she faltered. "I think I might be too tough on him sometimes."
"You needed to be tough," Natalie told her. "He was in a bad place. You got him here."
Sharona looked up from their hands to meet Natalie's eyes.
"Now he just... needs something different."
She shrugged, giving Sharona a soft smile. They were both quiet for a second. The faint sounds of the basketball game on the television and the chatter of the people surrounding them filled the silence.
Then, slowly, Sharona returned the smile. "Something different, huh?"
Natalie nodded, giving Sharona's hand a quick and gentle squeeze as they stood.
Wordlessly, Sharona pulled her friend into a firm embrace. Natalie was caught off guard at the sudden touch but smiled into the blonde's shoulder. "Thank you," Sharona whispered. Natalie held her closer in response.
Sharona broke the contact first, linking her arm with Natalie's as they left the counter. They paused when they saw the empty tables before them.
"Oh, God. Where are you?" Natalie mumbled to herself. Sharona gave the room a quick scan in search of Monk.
Of course, all the tables in the main room where they'd left Monk were empty—but all the tablecloths had been straightened and every chair was pushed in neatly. Anyone who knew Adrian Monk could tell he'd been there.
"There," she said finally, pointing. Monk had taken his newspaper to a new, tidier table behind the beaded curtain near the entrance they'd came through earlier. He was studying his newspaper so intently he seemed to be looking through the pages rather than reading the words upon them.
She and Natalie crossed the room to Monk. "Hey, Adrian, we're ready to go," Sharona told him, holding aside the beads with a hand.
As soon as he heard Sharona's voice, Monk leapt out of his chair with no prior warning, startling the both of them. He was clutching his newspaper excitedly. "Sharona!" he exclaimed. "I know what they're after!"
"You do?" Sharona gasped, at the same time Natalie said, "What? Really?" in bewilderment.
"Where's Julie?" Monk stammered, ignoring the both of them. "Where's—where's Julie?"
He raced out of the bar. "Oh, my God," the two women muttered in sync before following suit.
"I'm calling the captain," Sharona told Monk when they reached the car. She flipped her cell phone open, dialing the number and holding it out to the passenger seat where he sat.
"Captain!" Monk addressed the phone. "You need to meet us at Astoria Middle School. I solved the case."
"Continue," Stottlemeyer prompted him.
"It was never about the fish," Monk explained. "It was all about this."
"You know I can't see what you're talking about, right, Monk?" came Stottlemeyer's voice from the phone.
"The moon rock." Monk tapped his newspaper. Natalie leaned forward to see. Covering most of the front page was a picture about the rock, labeled Moonrock. Exhibit 167a. "It's the most valuable rock in the world," he explained. "It's more valuable than any diamond. A rock half this size was sold in Japan for $2 million."
"Okay," said the captain again.
"Well, I knew I had seen that rock before somewhere," Monk continued. "It was in Julie Teeger's aquarium. It was right in front of us the whole time..."
He paused, then began his signature summation. "Here's what happened. There's a tour guide at the museum. His name is Peck, Lyle Peck. Last weekend, he stole the moon rock. It was probably Sunday night—Sharona, yellow means slow down—sometime after they closed. Peck has worked there for years. He's practically a fixture, so he definitely knew the routine.
"Well, why didn't the museum report it?" interrupted Sharona.
"The museum never missed it. They didn't know it was stolen. They still don't! Peck replaced it with an exact duplicate."
"Wait, so what we saw at the museum, that was just a regular rock?" asked Natalie.
"Right," said Monk. "But Peck had a problem. He still had to get the moonrock out of the building. They were searching everybody. Even the employees. So since there was no way for him to get it through security, he had to improvise. He hid the rock in the gift shop. Inside one of those aquarium kits. Then he marked the box."
Monk made an X in the air, marking an imaginary box.
"But Julie bought it before he could come back for it!" Sharona realized.
"Precisely," Monk affirmed. "The plan was for his accomplice, Brian Lemmon, to pick it up the next morning. But Julie got there first and took it home. She signed a mailing list, so they knew exactly where to find her. The next day, Peck tried to steal it, posing as a meter reader. When that didn't work, Brian Lemmon broke in. But he didn't count on Natalie waking up... or that pair of scissors."
"Wow," Natalie said
"I know, right?" Sharona agreed, flashing her a smile in the rearview mirror. Monk allowed himself a grin at the praise.
Stottlemeyer joined them at the back doors of the middle school. They led to a gymnasium where the science fair was just beginning. The room was a mess of tables, posters, and paper-mache models like the ones in Julie's classroom. The chatter of parents, teachers, and children filled the air.
"This is my fire extinguisher," a small boy in a yellow coat and bright red firefighter hat was saying. "I invented it myself using an oxygen tank, some compressed air, and an ordinary garden hose."
"Where is she?" Monk asked, frantic.
"I don't know, I don't know," Natalie fretted. She spotted another parent a few feet away from them in the crowd, a woman with shoulder-length blonde hair, and jogged over to her. "Oh, Stacy. Have you seen Julie?"
The blonde woman—Stacy—pointed across the gymnasium. "Uh, I think she's over there."
Where she was pointing, a proud Julie stood at her table, showing off Mr. Henry to a group of her peers. The four ran towards her. Natalie reached the table first.
"Natalie," Monk whispered to her. "We gotta grab that rock."
Natalie shushed him. Monk turned to Sharona in protest, but his complaints went unnoticed.
"This is Mr. Henry," Julie was saying, smiling. "Mr. Henry is a marble fish. And most marble fish only love for about a year. But Mr. Henry is six years old, and he's still frisky as ever. And that is thanks to my special diet of ground-up vitamins, rice crispies, and cucumbers."
Julie pointed to a few paper plates on her table full of the aforementioned foods. Mr. Henry swam around in the tank, looking hopefully at the cucumbers.
While she spoke, Monk gestured wildly for Julie to hurry up, unaware that right behind their group was Lyle Peck. Peck hovered behind them, ominous glint in his eyes, attention glued to Julie's aquarium.
As Monk and his companions clapped for Julie—Sharona and Natalie's applause being genuine, Monk's somewhat forced—he made sure no one was watching as he slipped a flame out from under a nearby beaker and brought it up to the sign on the table.
Flames licked the words on the cardboard, steadily growing brighter and spreading over the poster as Peck backed away from the display. Once he was far enough away, he broke into a run. It was only a matter of seconds before someone noticed the fire, however.
"Fire!" shouted Stacy. "It's on fire!"
Chaos ensued.
The groups that seconds ago had been chatting calmly among themselves rushed for the doors. Monk forgot all plans to obtain Julie's fish, pushing through the crowd to find the source of the panic. Natalie led her daughter to safety, Sharona close behind them. Captain Stottlemeyer was trying to control the crowd with little luck as he followed Monk to the fire.
"Here, use this," offered the boy with the garden hose once Stottlemeyer reached the fire. "It's a fire extinguisher."
"Hey, thanks, kid," Stottlemeyer said without a second thought, grabbing the extinguisher and spraying it at the fire. It practically erupted; the flames now tall as the captain flickering faster before their eyes. He looked horrified. "What's in this?"
"Turpentine!" said the kid, sprinting off.
Exasperated, Stottlemeyer took off his jacket and started beating the fire with it, trying to kill the flames. Monk stood off to the side, close enough to Stottlemeyer to give the illusion that he was being helpful. He swayed on his feet awkwardly, cringing as the burning display was knocked askew by the captain.
At this point, the only people left waiting in the gymnasium were Monk, Stottlemeyer, Sharona, Natalie, Julie, and, though no one had noticed him yet, Lyle Peck. All of the other science fair participants had evacuated.
Peck had taken Julie's fishing net, and as everyone waiting outside gave sighs of relief at the fire being extinguished, slowly lowered it into the aquarium. Once he'd caught the moon rock—and along with it, some blue gravel and a disoriented Mr. Henry—he held a hand underneath it to stop the dripping and made for the doors, certain no one had seen him, except—
"He stole my fish!" Julie shrieked. "Hey!"
Monk sprang into action. "Peck!" he yelled, and immediately raced after him through the doors at the other side of the room. Sharona and Natalie hurriedly took Julie, who was struggling to run and save Mr. Henry, leading her towards the rest of the crowd outside.
The door banged open as Monk pushed through it, revealing a rickety set of stairs that Peck was already halfway down. He took a sharp turn into the school hallways. Mr. Henry flopped uncontrollably in the net, hitting the moon rock and flying up again with each thwap of Peck's shoes against the tiled floor.
"Peck!" Monk called again as they passed Mr. Franklin's classroom. "Peck! Stop!"
Peck didn't stop—he ran faster, actually, and Mr. Henry came dangerously close to flying out of the net—but Monk did. Part of a hose stuck out from a glass case housing a fire extinguisher on the wall, and he skidded to a halt right in front of it.
Monk carefully nudged the door open, using the cuff of his jacket so it didn't touch his hand, and tucked the hose in. Once it was back in place he slammed it shut, this time using his elbow, and kept running as if nothing had happened.
By the time Monk had finished correcting the fire extinguisher, Peck was already halfway down the next stairwell and was about to turn the corner when—he missed a step.
Peck tumbled down the stairs, losing control of both moon rock and fish. They flew up into the air as he came into contact with the stairs, losing his grip on the railing and finally landing on the floor below, groaning in pain.
Monk reached Peck the second the moon rock clattered onto the tile floor, only a few feet away from Mr. Henry, who lay in a puddle on the floor. He froze, standing over Peck, as he looked from the valuable rock to the fish. Mr. Henry was slowly losing consciousness as it gave a few last feeble flops. Natalie and Sharona appeared at the other end of the hallway.
He hovered above the fish and the rock for the briefest of moments, looking between the two in distress. Surely the moon rock was more important—but Mr. Henry was in danger, and especially as Natalie watched from afar, that was his first priority.
Finally, Monk broke his hesitation and scooped Mr. Henry up in his palms, letting out an "Oh, God," once he felt the slimy scales. He made a run for it, both hands outstretched, dodging a very bemused Sharona and Natalie on his way back to the gymnasium. "I got him!" he yelled.
But by saving the fish, they'd left Peck lying on the floor... only inches away from the moon rock. He started to stretch toward it, then—
"Peck! Don't move," came a voice from behind him: Stottlemeyer, gun at the ready, was at the top of the stairs. "On your face," he told Peck, giving him a shove so he fell, face first, back onto the floor. He picked up the small, priceless rock, staring at it in awe.
Meanwhile, Monk, Sharona, and Natalie sprinted through the open doors of the science fair. The atmosphere of the room had cooled down considerably in the aftermath of the fire, some still looking shaken and others calming them down.
"Look out, I got a fish here!" Monk called out. "Coming through, flopping around! Flopping fish!"
The crowd parted to let them through. "Who is that?" a rightfully confused parent whispered.
"He's the world's top expert on marble fish," Sharona called back to them as she ran.
Monk stopped at the first aquarium he laid eyes on, letting Mr. Henry fall into the water without hesitation. Droplets still clung to his hands, and he shook them off carefully.
It was then, unfortunately, that they noticed the sign marking the table: My Pet Piranha.
"Oh, Monk! Monk!" Natalie cried.
"Adrian!"
Monk yelped and cast around for a net to use. One sat on the edge of the table near the aquarium; he took it and caught Mr. Henry, still clinging to life, before the piranha could. Luckily, Julie's presentation was only a few tables away. They all hurried toward it.
"Look out! Coming through! Coming through!"
"You're gonna be okay, Mr. Henry!" Julie promised her fish.
This time when Monk dropped Mr. Henry into the water, he landed by his toy treasure chest before bubbling to life again, scales glimmering as he swam around. Monk tossed the net to the floor.
"You saved him," Julie said in awe, and threw her arms around Monk. Monk ignored the embrace, staring at his dripping hands in disgust.
"Oh—" Sharona rifled through the contents of her purse for a wipe. "Here."
Monk took it, relieved. Sharona grinned.
Julie had stepped away from Monk and fallen into her mother's arms. Natalie stroked her daughter's hair fondly.
"Thank you, Mr. Monk," Natalie said once more as they prepared to leave. Julie was waiting at the doors with Mr. Franklin and her aquarium. "Julie's really grateful, you know. She thinks you're very brave." She paused as Monk made a modest, dismissive noise before nodding his thanks. "And, um, I'm positive you'll work through... all of this eventually."
'All of this' was accompanied by a vague gesture towards Monk, his perfectly buttoned shirt, and ever-fidgeting hands.
Natalie looked to Sharona as she continued. "You're in good hands."
Sharona went pink, beaming.
"I have to take Julie home," Natalie finished. "Thank you both again."
"Oh, no problem," Sharona told her earnestly. "We really enjoyed working with you. Didn't we, Adrian?"
"Oh, yes. Very much. I think I need another wipe here."
Sharona shot him a look. "He enjoyed it," she assured Natalie, who laughed.
"Well, see you around?"
"Definitely," Sharona agreed.
She and Monk watched as Natalie met Julie at the other end of the room, who gave her an enthusiastic embrace. They left through the open doors, Natalie glancing back to smile at Monk and Sharona as she kept an arm around her daughter. The two waved at her.
Sharona looked up at Monk, who acknowledged Natalie with a final nod and wave before she was out of view, then looked at Sharona in confusion. "What? Now could I get another wipe?"
Sharona gave an amused scoff as she searched her bag for one. "All right, Larry," she quipped. "Let's get you home."
She put an arm around his shoulder and led him towards her station wagon, parked only a couple spots away from Natalie's car, and mere feet from where Peck was being directed into a police vehicle by Captain Stottlemeyer.
He looked to Monk and Sharona with a clear but unspoken 'Thank you,' before giving Peck one final shove into the back of the car. Their work here was done.
Sharona thought about Natalie's advice as she opened the driver's side door of the station wagon. If Monk needed something different now, whatever that meant, it was her job to help him with it. She still believed there was a thin line between supporting him and enabling him, one she would have to be careful not to cross.
Monk could be the most annoying person she'd ever met, and he was, but he was her boss. And more importantly, he was her friend. The truth of the matter was, it wasn't her fault Monk was so impossible to deal with—but it wasn't his fault either.
So he could wake her up in the middle of the night because he spilled something, and he could have her drive around for half an hour simply to find the brand of bottled water he liked, but she was going to be there for him. Always.
So when Monk did call her late at night that day, she didn't complain, just sighed and went along with it.
"No, Adrian, I can't come over right now. Because I can't leave Benjy!" A pause. "Okay, just relax, it's fine. How big is the spider?"
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ep 1 finished again woohoo! i havent read over this lately so idk if i like it but i think it turned out ok!! :) mr. monk vs the cobra chapter one coming soon