(Mar/02/2024) [Saturday, 2:33PM]
... Well. Let's just start off by saying that I'm feeling better. I don't feel sick anymore but, I do get coughing fits at random times..
At this point I have Major amnesia, I have been forgetting things a lot recently, I can't remember what I dreamt about.. I just remember a few bits and pieces but, i can't remember.. what happened a few days ago. I just remember, me drawing the operator symbol and a few other things but, I don't remember anything else.
I have been strangely happy these past few days.. not sure if that's normal. I haven't felt this happy or excited in a while.
I also went through my notebook and I found a drawing on it.. it was the one that I was talking to Hydr0chl0r1c_ac1d about.. it looks like some disturbing drawing that a 6 year old made.. but, it was me who drew it.
i don't know why.. but, I keep drawing myself with a smiley face and the operator behind me. What's weird is that the same day that I drew this, I had a dream.. it was a very weird one. It didn't have the operator in it but, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and my reflection was moving, it would look away from me but, then it would look at me and it's pupils would go very big and it would start smiling... That's all I remember from the dream.. I forgot to type this but, I remember hearing a voice talking to me. Like I was talking to someone.. I didn't know who though but there were multiple people.
That's all I can remember.. I can't remember what happened a few days ago..
Yesterday, I went outside and I attempted to sleep alone outside (We have like a something outside where you can lay on it and go to sleep.. I'm not sure what it's called) I was just laying there trying to sleep and it was about 2 in the morning.. I covered myself with the blanket and when I was trying to sleep, I felt watched and i felt very uneasy. I felt like a presence was near where I was laying down.. I literally just froze and I didn't want to move at all.
That's when I felt a very weird sensation.. it felt as if someone or something was touching me, on my head and shoulders.. Yk when you trace your hand or fingers onto something, yeah that's kind of what I felt through the covers.. I could have sworn that I felt the operator's presence. It felt like he was just on top of me watching me. I started to feel very uneasy and possibly paranoid, so I got up and I took out the machete that I had from under the covers and I looked around but, nothing was there.. I didn't feel his presence anymore. It's like they come out when I'm not looking at them.. but, when I do look behind me they just disappear.
However, now that I think about it, I felt the operator's presence however, I didn't feel sick.. i just felt paranoid.
Also, I tried to summon eye-less jack but nothing happened. However, today when I woke up, the part where my kidneys are did hurt a little.. and i got painful breathing again. (Dw my kidneys are still good. He didn't take them thankfully- I also had a huge knife with me so I'm good)
Lately, I have been a little obsessed with Habit.. I don't know why but, I have been obsessed with him. I keep watching tiktoks or edits of him.
I know Habit is a sadistic entity and all but, I love him. I kind of consider him my father in a strange way? (It may sound crazy but, I see him as my father figure like slenderman and masky.. Actually I see masky as more of an older brother?)
I'll update soon bye! :D