Third Person's POV
Just like what Bright wanted, Win never visited him again.
And everything was back to normal.
Normal? Things will never be normal again.
In Win's world.
In Bright's world.
And just like the time passes by, the whole semester went through without them having any other interactions.
Win transferred to another lecture time eventhough Bright told him not to. It was Jerome's doing since Win has been having attacks more often after that day.
While Bright somehow made a huge progress in his therapy. Along with that, he aced a few of his classes and was running for dean's list.
Everything was going perfect in Bright's life.
He's back to Oliver and Gael's guidance, moves in with them, and hasn't had any panic attacks and nightmares anymore.
And with those good things happening in his life, his memory about the past deteriorated.
His brother and friends tried their best to help him recover any memories from the past but there was no progress at all. It's like after he asked Win to never see him, not a single flashback came. Even those dreams with the young Win disappeared.
It got him thinking, even in the middle of the night, his mind was on that topic.
Why don't I see him anymore?
Even in the campus, it was so hard to catch a glimpse of Win, not that he's looking for him but the man is difficult not to be noticed.
He really did what I wanted him to do.
But there's this sinking feeling that still makes him awake every night.
He was right. Win can just move on and forget him that easily without fighting for him. That's how lowly he thinks about their relationship.
These were Bright's words. And no one could blame him for thinking this way. He's been through a lot, alone.
There's too many things to fix but now, their relationship was not one of them.
"Bright?"
"Yes Phi?"
"Gael told me there was a letter from the registry office." then hands him the envelope that has the letter in it. "Are you really going to proceed with the changes in your last name? Are you going to divorce Win?"
"Divorce?"
"Yeah, are you?" there was a shift of expressions in Bright's face. "Changing your last name means you're divorcing Win. Don't tell me you didn't think it through that?"
"I didn't."
Oliver sat across from him. "If changing your last name will help you heal, do it. I'm all by your side. I will not justify what he did because it was wrong. But, if you ask me. Don't do it if you're only doing this to get back at him from what he did to you."
"But I have to. Right?"
Oliver nods. "You have every right to do so. You went through a lot and I've said this before, we are not forcing you to do anything. You can take all the time you need to recover, everything."
"Thank you, phi."
"But can I say this?"
"About what?"
"Win and I were in the same shoes when you regained your consciousness after the accident."
"The same? How?"
Oliver stood up and took the two different photo albums from their old wooden cabinet.
"These were the two albums I cherished the most because they hold your most important memories."
He hands them the albums and one page after another, Bright sees those printed photos of him, with his brother, with their parents, his friends and with Win.
Everything in between before the accident, every core memory he had was in there. His academic achievements, his talents, their everyday life, everything was in there.
His tear glands acted on its own, creating those sad yet yearning tears to fall down.
He couldn't help but to notice a certain figure beside him and Oliver, it was Win.
He was with them, growing up.
Their parents adored him too.
There were a few notes along with the pictures.
'My fave adopted child'
'Oli and Win's scouting days'
'Bright and his bff Win at the soccer game'
'Our three beloved sons first pajama party'
Endearments from their mother.
Win was there. The past him.
His mind went in circles, hands grabbing the albums tightly to his chest as he lowered his head, crying his eyes out.
It hurts. My heart hurts. It feels like I'm being stabbed a hundred times.
His voice broke and he didn't know what to do.
He did what was right. Right?
It was for the best that they don't continue this fucked up relationship anymore. It was draining for both of them.
There was nothing to hold onto. They shouldn't be together at all, but Bright's heart aches. He couldn't stop thinking about Win's face that day. He couldn't stop thinking about the young Win in his dreams.
Is he being swayed by these pictures he doesn't remember experiencing? He shouldn't be, right? This shouldn't affect him.
But it hurts. His heart hurts.
"Bright?"
"Phi..." His voice trembles. "I should be happy that he's no longer pushing himself to me, right? I— I should be happy that he did what I asked him to do. I should be happy that— finally, he's out of my life... But why do I feel so shitty about it? Why do I feel like I'm doing something that my heart doesn't want to? Is it only my mind that's making this decision? What the hell is wrong with me?"
Oliver offers his arms to his brother, embracing him. "There's nothing wrong with you."
"But why does it hurt so much?"
"Maybe... That's just how it was supposed to be because you went through a lot. Healing takes time and your pain can be triggered by the smallest thing. Take all the time you need to heal."
"But why do I feel like he's the only cure? My heart tells me this."
"Bright... Your feelings for Win were genuine. You did love him more than you love yourself. You gave him your all. We all saw it. Mom and dad did. The old you, felt the sincerity and honest love he gave you, maybe that's why?"
"Honest love? This doesn't feel like honest and sincere love."
"Bright, will you try to see it I'm my perspective? If you happen to be me, and your Phi Gael was in Win's place. I woke up from 2 months of comatose and the first thing I said was 'Who are you?' What will you do?" He looks at his brother, eyes still crying.
"I don't have any memory of you or Gael. Even after months or years of you making me remember our past, I still don't remember anything. And because I don't remember anyone, I discharged myself from the hospital, went no contact with everyone who said that they were my family and friends for 2 years...
And now, here we are...
You're trying to help me remember Gael since he is my husband and you are my brother. But there's this betrayal in my mind that can't be persuaded because Gael didn't try his best to help me remember him but my heart wants him back. What will you do? Will you help Gael or me?"
"I will help you."
"Exactly. I will help you because you are my brother. I want you to be happy. And that comes with me, making sure that you and Win will be okay. But all of this will only be okay if you agree to help you. You're my baby brother, whatever your decision is also my decision.”
Bright quickly embraced his brother, tightly as he gently caressed his back to help him calm.
“Phi, I'm scared. What if the same mistakes happened again? What if, if I did forgive him, I'll regret it after because I'd still remember what he did?”
“I told you, healing takes time. Do not force yourself to forgive him.”
“But what if I still want him back? What if I still love him? Should I give him a chance?”
“You can answer that.” He smiles at him. Holds his hands. “Do you still want Win back?”
There was a pause in Bright's breathing.
I do. “... I don't know yet.”
“I understand. Do you want to give him a chance?”
A slow nod comes along. “Can I?”
“You can… That's your call.” His eyes focused on him and his brother's hands.
“Do you still love him?”
Yes. My heart says yes.
But my mind follows that word with but. “I don't know Phi.”
“Alright. Let's just take everything slow. Okay?”
[03132024]