do you know what i'm seeing?

By -reddje

34 3 0

" i know it's sad but i never gave a damn about the weather, and it never gave a damn about me β€ž More

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3 1 0
By -reddje

richie loved AP english composition.

now, if you'd asked him the day he moved to derry if he was excited to take AP english composition, he'd tell you that it was never his first pick. but over the past several days, he'd fallen in love with his english class.

richie had his reasons, and to him, they were really good.

firstly, he and beverly marsh had become the best of friends. they had only known each other for a week, and truthfully knew very little about each other- but for that week, they had spent way too much time together. bill and ben had already begun joking about how they were attached at the hip or twins that were separated at birth.

the second reason that richie loved his english class was because his teacher was perfect. at least to richie she was. she wasn't anything crazy: obviously, rules still applied and she assigned tests every two days, but she didn't overdo things. she was laid back, and funny, and richie really enjoyed spending forty-five minutes with her every day.

lastly, was eddie.

oh, how richie loved eddie. sure it was too soon. richie was fully aware, and everyone had made sure that he was; but he didn't care. he loved eddie.

maybe not in a traditional sense. he didn't know eddie enough to love him. they didn't speak, and when they did it was just eddie being mean and richie eating it up, but richie knew that he would eventually fall in love with eddie. for now, he just loved looking at eddie.

richie loved how pretty eddie was, he loved eddie's baby blue chuck taylor's, he loved the patchwork sweaters that eddie wore. he loved eddie's lip gloss, and eddie's multipack of pastel highlighters and cute pens. everything about eddie, everything he did; richie loved it.

richie had quickly come to find out that eddie was as smart as he was feisty.

and richie loved that too.

he sat in awe every day, watching as eddie's hand went up the second a question was asked. he memorized the almost silent hum that eddie made when he was thinking really hard during an assignment.

but eddie grew more and more irked by richie with each day that passed. no one else could grasp why, but to eddie, richie truly was the most arrogant and annoying person he'd ever met.

and it just got worse when eddie found a note in his locker.

thinking about you, cutie.
     -R

-

"signed R. ew." stan laughed as he read the note, handing it to mike when he was done looking at it.

the three of them were in eddie's bedroom after school, stan and mike on the floor while eddie sat at his desk, reading a powerpoint.

"stop, i think you're both evil. he seems like a nice guy." mike said, standing up to bring the note back to eddie.

"throw that shit in the garbage. it's fucking creepy." eddie's eyes didn't move from his laptop.

"it is creepy, i don't know mike. he's strange." stan agreed, watching as mike walked over to eddie's bed and sat down on the light green bedsheets.

"he's smart, he's funny, he's cute! eddie! he can keep up with you! that's more than anyone else can do. you're just mad because you've finally met your match." mike laid back onto the pillow, looking up at eddie's bedroom ceiling.

"i have not met my match. he might be smart but he is not as smart as me, and he's not that funny either."

"you think he's cute." stan laughed, looking at mike with his mouth agape. "oh my god, you do! he thinks richie is cute! oh my god!"

"shut the fuck up, stanley. don't you have literally anything else to do besides sit on my bedroom floor and talk shit? like, literally anything else?" eddie clicked louder on his keyboard, hoping to drown his friends out.

"oh my god, you really do think richies cute. that's crazy." mike sat up, waiting for a reaction.

"i'm about to kick you both out, i have really important shit to do. if you weren't aware, finals are next week, and graduation is the week after."

"you're the valedictorian, eddie. not us."

"he knows that, stan, he won't shut up about it. we're all aware that we didn't make valedictorian."

"okay, now you're making me sound like an asshole." eddie turned from his desk and stared at mike and stan, who were both laughing.

"we're proud of you, edgy, but you are an asshole." mike said through laughter.

"no like, we couldn't be more proud of you, eddie. no one else has worked as hard as you have, and you deserve it, but it one-hundred percent does not mean that you aren't a dick. you were an asshole before the valedictorian thing." stan followed.

"but we love you, regardless! you make us very happy. we are very lucky to have you." mike added on, causing eddie to roll his eyes.

"alright, thank you, mom." eddie's tone was sarcastic as he turned back to the computer. 

"i still think you should consider giving that richie guy your number. i might just do it for you. you need to do things with people who aren't me and stan." mike said, sincerely. he truly did love and care about eddie, and he thought richie would be good for him.

"i think the letter was weird, but he is cute, eddie. i think you guys would be cute together. and i do think you spend way too much time with us." stan agreed.

"he's weird, throw that fucking letter away."

-

it wasn't the last note that eddie received from richie, that would've been too easy.

during a quiz one day, richie got up to turn his paper in, and dropped a folded piece of paper onto eddie's desk on his way back to his own.

purple is your color. you look so pretty.
      - richie

(p.s- mike told me you thought -R was cringe, sorry! i'll do better <3)

eddie looked down at his purple sweater, feeling so annoyed with himself for wearing it. he knew purple looked good on him, he didn't need richie tozier telling him that it did.

stop giving me notes. you know, passing notes in class is childish and frankly distracting.

eddie folded the note back up and dropped it over his shoulder onto richies desk.

richie smiled, knowing that eddie probably wrote something horrifically mean onto the note, and not caring one bit. richie was happy either way.

richie unfolded the paper, smiling as he read it.

oh you love it ed's, i know you do. wish you'd let me take you out :(
- richie

richie folded the paper back, smiling to himself at the thought of eddie having touched it.

his smile grew even bigger as he leaned back in his chair and threw the paper right at the back of eddie's head.

not hard enough for it to hurt him, but hard enough for eddie to be completely over it.

eddie turned in his chair, and gave richie the meanest glare that he'd ever seen. richie was sure it would've burnt right through him if he hadn't been so focused on how pretty eddie's eyes were.

with a huff, eddie leaned over and picked the paper up from the ground. as he read it, he felt like ripping it into pieces.

don't hold your breath.

richie was upset that eddie didn't sign his notes with his name, but other than that, he was just happy that eddie was communicating with him. and maybe he was living in his own delusional daydream, but he loved it.

the only bad thing about this was how fast his english class seemed to go by now that he wished it would last for hours.

when the bell rang, richie stood and placed the paper back onto eddie's desk as he was packing his bag.

eddie caught the last of richie as he walked out of the room, watching as he slung his bag over his shoulder and his curls moved in the wind.

eddie grabbed the note and made his own way out of the room.

when he found mike and stan, he threw his bag to the ground, sighing as he sat in a chair opposite them.

i'd hold my breath forever for you if you asked.

        completely yours, richie.

p.s:
start signing your name >:(

"another letter from richie?" mike asked, watching as eddie folded it back up and put it into his backpack.

"unfortunately." eddie sighed again.

"what did it say?" stan set his phone down, watching eddie's face closely.

"well, first it said that i looked pretty and that purple is my color, and then he mentioned that mike said that i thought 'signed R' was cringey." eddie glared at mike, who immediately blushed.

"i can explain-" mike stuttered.

"oh, and you fucking better." eddie didn't look any more angry than he normally did, and his tone was calm, and mike noted this.

"this is going to be good." stan laughed, watching as mike tried to get his words together.

"i think that you guys would be nice together. i think you need to branch out, and meet new people. it isn't good for you to not have anyone to talk to but me and stan. so-"

"you need to stop being such a romantic. not everything needs to be cute and sweet and romance." eddie interrupted.

"so," mike continued. "we have study hall together and you knew that, stop giving me that look! i sat next to him during study hall and just said that you thought it was corny that he signed his name like that, and he said he did it because he thought you'd laugh at his attempt to be mysterious, but that he wouldn't sign it like that anymore, and told me that he really likes you." mike pleaded, eddie rolled his eyes.

"he doesn't even know me. we've had one conversation, which you both were here for so you know how that went, and other than that we had one debate in class and it wasn't even just the two of us. it was the whole class and he said something stupid, so i said 'thats stupid' and he said 'okay' and drooled at me for the rest of of the period." eddie reached into his bag and pulled his laptop from it, setting it onto the table.

"look, all i'm saying is that i think you should give him a chance. when was the last time someone was chasing after you with adoration?" mike truly was a hopeless romantic.

mike just loved being in love, and really wanted to see his best friend be in love too. the whole time they'd know each other, eddie had been miserable. not in a sad way, eddie was just perpetually in a bad mood.

"that one guy that bowers hangs out with had a thing for me last semester." eddie said, his voice dry as he looked for his history notebook in his bag.

"patrick hocksetter does not count. he's a freak." stan argued.

"yeah." mike agreed.

"it does too count! you said when was the last time, i told you the last time!"

"he bought you a flower through the schools valentine's day donation thing. for a dollar." stan said, ignoring the glare he was getting from eddie.

"okay, he also bought me a coffee that one time. that was sweet and resembles chasing after me with adoration."

"you threw it in the garbage in front of his face and he literally cried, and posted about being heartbroken for weeks." stan was laughing now.

"okay, whatever. i'm not interested in richie, okay? i don't have time for that. and you know my mother, mike. there's a reason that i don't entertain relationships with people."

"why not? schools basically out, you're already valedictorian, you already got accepted into every school you applied to, you've already made a decision. you have finals and then you're free for an entire three months. that's literally nothing but time! and your mom needs to get over it, you're eighteen, you're smart, she needs to just be happy with what she has." eddie rolled his eyes at mikes words.

"i can't slack off just because it's summer break, and i didn't get smart by sitting around at doing nothing. i have to work, and we have stuff to do for the dorm, and both of your birthdays are in the same week of july, so i have to plan two parties. plus i'm taking a prep class." eddie clicked around on his laptop, and wrote something in his notebook.

"why are you taking a prep class? you're smart enough to enjoy your summer and go in a little bit unprepared. professors expect that." stan asked.

"also, we don't need separate birthday parties. we don't need birthday parties at all, and we can plan them." mike added.

"okay, fine. since you guys just have to do everything together, you can have a joint party. but you can't plan your own birthday party. that would make me the worst best friend ever." eddie dropped his pen and looked over his laptop screen at mike.

"even with all of that, it's not that much stuff, edgy. stan and i are working, and we can still hang out. and the dorm thing is a one and done thing, and we already submitted the application so it's really just like, room selection. any of us can do that, it doesn't have to be you. you juggle school and work and hanging out with us already, what's one more person?" mike met eddie's gaze, seeing past his excuses.

"i enjoy spending all of my free time with you guys. adding another person to the mix would fuck up my dynamic, plus you'd both be mad because it would cut into our time."

"if you started seeing someone, you wouldn't be our third wheel anymore." stan mentioned.

"that's been the most convincing thing either of you have said yet. you should've led with that one, stanley."

"oh, fuck off. you wouldn't have listened either way." eddie smiled at stan, both of them aware that eddie wouldn't have listened. he shrugged, looking back to his notebook.

"speak of the devil." mike said after a while, and eddie's eyes darted up. mike noticed eddies stare, and motioned over to where richie was sitting. eddie watched as he stood and walked closer.

"god, not again. can he not take a hint?" eddie sighed, loudly.

"hey, guys." richie wore a big, toothy smile as he reached the table and spoke. stan smiled, waiting for someone else to speak.

"hi, richie. how are y'doing?" mike asked, knowing that if he didn't say anything, no one else would.

"good, yeah. i'm good. how are you guys?"

"we're good. what's up?" mike continued.

"cool. uh, my friend bev, over there, she is having a little bonfire party thing at her house tonight and wanted me to come over and invite you guys." richie shifted from foot to foot, watching all three of their faces at once.

"oh, awesome. we were all going to hang out at mine tonight, but that sounds really cool. we'll be there." mike confirmed for the group, causing eddie to flare at him from across the table and stan to let out a little laugh.

"wait, woah, hey. not so fast. we were going to study for finals at yours. not hang out. no, we won't be there." eddie said, matter-of-factly.

"but your friend just said you would, ed's. no take-backs." richie turned to him, smile never dropping.

"are you in the fifth grade? no take-backs. that's so childish." eddie's eyebrows furrowed as he spoke.

"we'll be there. thanks for the invite." mike confirmed again, knowing that eddie was going to bite his head off.

"cool. see you tonight, cutie." richie said, looking at eddie before he walked back to his table.

"why the fuck would you do that?" eddie asked the second richie walked away. stan erupted with laughter, and mike hit is arm try to get him to stop.

"am i wrong for wanting to make some friends, eddie? we haven't been to a party in a while." mike reasoned.

"why does it have to be richie toziers party?"

"it isn't, it's beverly's party." stan corrected.

"bevs, richies, it doesn't matter. he'll be there." eddie rolled his eyes.

"he'd likely be at any party we went to, he's pretty popular already." mike said.

"i don't care. i don't want to go, so i'm not going." eddie's attention was back to his notebook, taking notes from his history final review sheet, deciding that he was done with the conversation.

-

unfortunately for eddie, while the conversation did end at that moment, it wasn't over.

eddie pulled into mikes drive way at seven thirty that night, his school backpack and overnight bag sitting in the passenger seat of his toyota corolla. he was still in his work clothes, having driven straight from work to mikes house.

eddie turned off his car and grabbed his things, trying to get inside as soon as he could after seeing stan's car already parked on the curb.

"eddie! i was wondering when you'd show up. hardly ever see those two without you." mikes grandfather opened the door, allowing eddie step inside.

"hi, mr. hanlon. i had to work this afternoon, so i had to be a little bit late to the hangout." eddie smiled, and mikes grandfather chuckled softly.

"well, either way, it's nice to see you. how's your mom?"

"oh, she's good! she actually told me that she missed you at church last weekend." eddie lent down to untie his shoes, pulling them off as he spoke. he set them on the shoe rack by the door before straightening his back and looking back to where mikes grandfather was standing in the walkway.

"you tell her that i will be there this weekend. i just woke up not feeling too well on sunday, so i sat it out."

"oh, of course. i'm sure she will be happy to see you." eddie kept a smile, but truly hated speaking with people about his mother. he really hated speaking about his mother in general.

"i'll be happy to see her too. im gonna let you go upstairs, im sure those two are just anxiously awaiting you." mr. halon flashed a toothy smile before signaling eddie upstairs.

"yes, sir. it was nice talking to you." eddie nodded, adjusting his book-bag on his back and walking up the stairs to mikes room. from outside the door, he could hear music playing and the slight muffled hum of talking voices.

eddie opened the door, causing mike and stan to turn their heads in unison towards it. eddie smiled, letting himself into the room and throwing his things to the floor.

stan was sitting crisscrossed on mikes bed, while mike was standing in front of his closet holding two shirts on a hangers in front of stan's face.

"no, not that one. too dark." stan said from the bed before turning his attention to eddie. "hey, eddie. what do you think?"

stan motioned towards mike and the shirts, and mike turned to face him so he could see the options.

"yeah, not that one." eddie agreed. mike nodded and put the shirt away, hanging the other on his closet door knob.

"too dark, right?" stan asked.

"yeah, but i just like the other shirt more. think the blue looks nice on him." eddie walked to the bed, sitting on the outer side next to stan.

"i really like that shirt, you guys." mike yelled from inside of the closet before he emerged wearing the blue shirt.

"i never said that its a bad shirt, this one just looks better." stan defended himself.

"wait, where are you guys going?" eddie asked.

"what do you mean?" mike said as stan laughed to himself.

"you forgot already, eddie?" stan said with a giggle, causing eddie's face to drop. he had forgotten, a party with richie tozier was the last thing on his mind.

"fuck. no guys, i said i wasn't going. you should've called when you decided that you were. i would've just gone home." eddie shook his head.

"in my defense, i said multiple times that we were going." mike shrugged, throwing his hands in the air.

"i thought you were just saying that because richie was standing there and you wanted to piss me off! i didn't know you were serious!" stan laughed again, genuinely thinking that this conversation was hilarious.

"thats literally your own fault. you're already here, just come with us." eddie sighed, trying to think of any reason to debate.

"i can't." eddie said, simply.

"why not?" mike questioned.

"i have to study for my finals." mike shook his head.

"no, we're going to study tomorrow. we already planned that out. and i know you don't have to work tomorrow, you never work saturday's, so don't even try it."

"oh my god." eddie groaned. "i. dont. want. to. go."

"we already said we were going. stan told ben that we'd all be there, and bev is like, really excited to see us." mike said, causing stan to throw a pillow in his direction.

"it's true. ben said that she was so happy when richie told her that we'd go." stan followed.

"please go. you don't want to hurt bevs feelings." mike pleaded.

"ugh. fine. but not for you, not for richie: for bev. and only because i have a soft spot for bev."

mike made an excited noise and smiled, causing eddie to roll his eyes playfully.

"but you owe me one, like big owe me one. because both of you know that once i talk to beverly and she has her little 'im so excited! i'm so glad you came!' so speech, he isn't going to leave me alone." eddie continued.

"whatever, whatever! a win is a win!" mike smiled. "okay, both of you need to start getting ready, like ten minutes ago, because we're already going to be late."

eddie rolled his eyes, picking through his bag and thanking his earlier self for packing a nice outfit.

"i haven't even showered." eddie walked to mikes bathroom, changing out of his work uniform and changing into his own clothes.

"i know you took one before school this morning, you're not going to make me feel bad!" eddie smiled at mikes words, laughing to himself because mike was right.

eddie messed around with his hair for a few minutes. it was starting to get too long by his ears, and he knew his mom would make an appointment to get it cut within the next few days. she hated when he looked unpresentable.

"are you ready?" stan popped his head into the bathroom as eddie was spraying himself with black opium.

"yeah, my shoes are down stairs." eddie said, throwing his toiletries back into his back and walking out of the bathroom.

"do you mind driving, edgy?" mike asked, throwing an arm around eddie's shoulders as the three of them walked down the stairs. eddie shook his head, feeling in his jeans pocket for his keys, pulling them out when he felt them.

"what good would a designated driver be if he didn't drive?" eddie said, faux-annoyed, dangling his keys in front of mike. he was always their designated driver, it just made sense because between the three of them, eddie was the least interested in drinking. he'd always been this way,  just not seeing the need to.

"where are you boys off to?" mikes grandfather said from the kitchen.

"a friend from school is having a bonfire, granddad. like, a little graduation party." mike explained.

"are you taking your car, michael?" mr. hanlon made his way to the door.

"i'm gonna drive us, mr. hanlon." eddie smiled, showing his keys.

"and you asked your father, stanley? it's alright with him?" stan and eddie were already putting their shoes on.

"oh, yeah. yes sir." stan stood after tying his shoes.

"alright, well, be careful. you're coming back here afterwards?" mikes grandfather asked mike as eddie and stan walked out of the house.

"yes, granddad."

eddie unlocked his car, letting stan open the passenger side door and get into the front seat. mike ran closely behind them, mumbling about how he wanted to sit in the front as he got into the back seat.

"okay, mike gets it on the way home." eddie said, locking eyes with stan before he backed out of mikes driveway.

"fine. deal." stan said, rolling his eyes and leaning forward to click through radio channels.

the drive to beverly's was short, and eddie knew how to get there with little effort. derry was pretty small, and he'd been to beverly's aunts house many times.

"be nice, edgy." mike said after they'd parked and left the car, and approached the back yard. eddie shot him a piercing glare, already wanting to leave.

it didn't take long for them to find bev, who was watching as richie and bill competed against each other to shotgun a beer.

"bill! come on! get him! don't let him win!" she yelled, laughing as richie threw his can to the ground and bill kept drinking. "dude! that's the third time he's beat you, billy. i know you're better than that."

"i'm not doing it again. maybe one of these guys will take my place?" bill said, alerting bev to the presence of mike, stan, and eddie.

"oh my god! you guys came! welcome, welcome!" bev said with a smile, throwing her arms around all three of them at once.

"thanks for having us." mike was smiling too, and eddie could tell he was happy to be there.

"hey, cutie! you gonna try and beat me? i'll give you a prize if you do." richie appeared in front of eddie, presenting him with a cold beer.

"i'm driving, trashmouth." eddie held his keys up with one hand and pushed the beer away with the other. richie tsked, rolling his eyes.

"you can drink one beer, ed's." eddie shook his head.

"no, have someone else play for your prize." eddie said, uninterested. bev laughed and grabbed his wrist, causing eddie to glance over to her.

"i'm so glad you came. like, really. thanks." she said, earning a genuine smile from eddie.

"anytime, you know that."

"it's okay, ed's! you can have the prize even if we don't play. come find me later! here, mikey, you try." richie interrupted.

"do you have an off switch? maybe a button?"

"oh, i have plenty of switches and buttons for you to search for, sweetheart. why don't you come over here and see for yourself?" richie laughed, cracking another beer open.

"is there any way to shut him the fuck up?" eddie looked to bev, who was holding her head in her hands and shaking her head.

"i've been trying to figure it out since he showed up." richie smiled as bev spoke, and sauntered over to where they stood, putting an arm around her.

"oh, my dear beverly. don't lie, she loves it when i talk. she's just trying to impress you because i embarrass her."

"anyone? an off switch for this fucking freak?"

"again, plenty of switches, cutie. but they won't turn me off-"

"richard, oh my god! dude!" bev laughed, shrugging him off of her. "i don't know what's wrong with him, eddie, i'm sorry."

"you're embarrassing her, richard." eddie said, already sick of being around richie.

"i love it when you say my name like that." richie looked like he was melting. his eyes were glittering as he looked at eddie, which was laughable because eddie's face held nothing but disdain. 

"that's literally the first time i've called you by that. ever."

"do it again." eddie shook his head, feeling like his head was hurting just by being around richie.

"no. god, what is your issue? we're you dropped as a child? what makes you incapable of reading a room?"

"you're just so pretty, ed's. all cognitive thinking goes out of the window when you're around."

"i told you to stop calling me that, loser."

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