I've always found it amazing how much a single week can change things. In one week, I went from being a successful doctor to being an Invalid, to being a spy. In one week, I went from being so sure of my mission to questioning it completely. In one week, I went from the beauty and freedom of Gemma and Savannah's wedding to the dark confines of a cell under the Coliseum, wondering if Atlas would make it.
And in one week, Atlas went from being on death's doorstep to being completely ready to break out of the City.
Once I was able to remove the arrows and clean his wounds, he healed fairly quickly. By the end of the next day, his fever had broken and any signs of illness and infection disappeared. And by the end of the day after that, he was back on his feet, though still a little unsteadily. He's still not completely healed, and probably won't be 100 percent for a while. His shoulders still have very limited mobility, but he and I are working at it every day. And, to be honest, it was certainly satisfying to see him being the one to struggle through his daily stretches instead of me.
Once Atlas was coherent again, the Vultures began to question us incessantly. It was mostly Lucifer and Jezebel assaulting us with questions, but the other Vultures all took their turns, too. But we gave them nothing. After a week, Atlas, Israel, and I still haven't broken, and we still haven't given them what they wanted. We never would- all of us would easily rather die than give them any information on the Renegades.
Thoughts of the Renegades and the Outside were what kept us going that week. Thoughts of what we would do when were in the Outside again, thoughts of what we would say to the people we cared about, and thoughts of what our future would hold. Israel constantly talked about Annalise and Rosalie, and while I would have once found it annoying, I'm now thankful for his rants. His love for his wife and daughter brings a certain beauty to this dark cell and a certain strength to our souls. It reminds us that we have something to live for, a people and a way of life to protect.
And if that wasn't enough, I'm determined to get out of this cell alive just so I can finish that conversation Atlas and I started.
Though, I'm not sure if he remembers it. If he does, he's said nothing about it, but that might just be because we agreed to wait until we were back in the Outside. No point in bringing it up if we aren't going to finish the conversation. But I know he remembers one particular part of his fever delirium- he remembers the conversation he thought he had with Skye. The conversation he actually had with me, but I'm not inclined to tell him that part.
When his fever broke, there was a peace within him that I'd never seen before. When I asked about it, he told me about the conversation he'd had with Skye as if I wasn't there for all of it. That being said, he knows it wasn't a real conversation. From what I understand, he thinks the conversation was Skye's spirit visiting him in a dream. Who am I to tell him that he was having a real conversation, but it was with me instead of Skye? I'm not going to ruin the peace he found from the "dream" conversation.
But at the end of that week, our peace was ruined when Lucifer came to the cell, a sadistic grin on his face.
"I'm rather tired of you three and your stubbornness. It would be so much easier for all of us if you just gave me the information I wanted. But no matter. There's a way you three can be useful yet. You wouldn't begrudge me and the Citizens a little entertainment, would you?" Lucifer asks, before laughing a little. "It's a win-win for me, you see. Either you die and then my problem is almost completely solved, or if you live, maybe it'll loosen your tongues. But, either way, I think this is going to be very entertaining for the City as a whole."
"What are you talking about?" Israel asks, a dark tone creeping into his voice. He clearly isn't very fond of the game that Lucifer is playing, and to be honest, neither am I. But Lucifer doesn't answer him outside of a "you'll see" before walking off. Well, that's not terrifying at all. The three of us all look at each other and give slight nods, a silent agreement. No matter what's about to come our way, we're going to fight it together and do whatever it takes to make it out alive. For now, that's the only thing we can promise each other. Even if we can't make it out of the City today, we're going to stay alive.
In five minutes, a group of guards appears at the door of our cell. I watch as Atlas and Israel look over the group of guards, the wheels turning in their heads. If I had to guess, I'd say they're trying to figure out if they could take on the guards in a fight and break us out of here. At least, I'm betting that's what Israel is trying to figure out, because when he looks over at his leader, Atlas gives him a slight shake of the head. Atlas is telling him no, and I have to agree with him. It looks like there are two guards for each of us. Even if Israel could take out his guards, the other guards would likely take Atlas and me away before Israel could get to us.
No. It's a safer bet for us to just stay together and let the guards take us to whatever trial awaits us. We can figure out what to do from there.
The guards waste no time in opening the cell door and surrounding us, making escape impossible at the moment. I don't fight as my two guards lead me out of the cell, knowing that Atlas and Israel will be right behind me. Outside of the sound of our feet hitting the ground, it's completely silent as the guards lead us through the halls of the dungeons to an unknown destination, each of us lost in thought and trying to come up with a plan. But it's hard to come up with a plan when we don't know what we'll be facing at the other end of our march.
We're walking for five minutes before the guards stop us. About thirty feet ahead of us, I can see a door much like the door of our cell, and I get my first look at natural light in two weeks. I know I won't be able to see the sun because of the thick clouds that cover the City, but I'll take natural light over the torchlight we were provided. And if we're smart and play our cards correctly, I'll be able to stand in the sun again soon.
I'm brought back to the present moment when a guard clamps a shackle around my right ankle and my eyes go wide with panic. If we're shackled, that's going to make escape much harder. The three of us exchange wide-eyed looks, all wondering what the hell is waiting for us at the end of the corridor. What do the Vultures have planned for us that involves putting shackles around our ankles? One of the guards says my name, and I turn to face him. And that's when he hands me something I recognize instantly.
A scabbard. But I take another look and I realize it's not just any scabbard. It's the double sword scabbard I had left behind in my apartment when I left the City. Back then, I hadn't thought to bring it because I was still under the assumption I would be coming back from the Outside. But as I look over the scabbard, everything comes together. We were brought up from our imprisonment below the Coliseum, and now I'm being handed my scabbard. And now I know exactly what the Vultures are planning.
We're being turned into gladiators.
"That's a cruel sense of irony. You pulled a sword on Lucifer, and now he's giving you a sword to defend yourself, knowing full well you don't know how to use one," Atlas says, and I nod slowly as I attach the scabbard to my back. But there's something that Atlas doesn't know. Lucifer was right when he said I don't know how to use a sword- technically. But that's also not the entire story. Before I can explain the truth, though, the chains around our ankles start to shorten, pulling us towards the door. And that's when I realize that neither Atlas nor Israel have been given any weapons. My heart drops in my chest when I understand that I now have to defend all three of us.
As we approach the end of the corridor, the door starts to rise, sliding into an unseen space in the wall. The chains around our ankles continue to shorten, pulling us closer and closer to the threat. Until, finally, we're being pulled through the door. I squint my eyes as the sudden shift from torchlight to natural light blinds me for a moment. I can barely see, and as we're forced further into the Coliseum, my ears are filled with the sound of cheers, the crowd roaring as they see their new fighters. But one voice rings out clearly among the cheers of the crowd.
"MACY?!" I open my eyes and turn my head towards the voice, and my heart and jaw drop at the same time. In the crowd, sitting about three rows up, is Cassie. For a second, we stare at each other as my brain tries to figure out how I feel about seeing her again. When I first left the City, I thought that when I saw my ex-girlfriend again, I'd be a hero. I thought that we'd be together again. But now it's just the opposite. I'm a gladiator now, forced to fight to the death. But what's even more shocking is that outside of that first drop, my heart doesn't react to seeing her. All the love I felt for her seems to be gone.
But as I look back at Atlas and Israel, I realize that the love I felt for Cassie isn't gone. It's just morphed into something else. It's now a love for the Outside, for the Renegades, for Atlas.
I hear the door at the opposite side of the arena starting to slide up, and my heart stops when I see who our opponent is going to be. I don't know the man's name, but I can tell just by looking at him that he could absolutely break me in half. Not only does he look like he's incredibly strong, but he's practically a giant. As he approaches, I put his height at nearly seven feet, towering over all three of us. I hear Atlas suck in a breath, and I look back at him for a second.
"By the stars. Is this how everyone feels around me?" If we weren't in the situation we're in, I would have laughed at that. I would have laughed at Atlas, so used to towering over everyone, suddenly feeling small. But there isn't time for that. Our challenger is approaching, and I only have a moment to come up with a plan. He's wielding a broadsword, and he doesn't have chains around our ankles like we do. I take a deep breath and calm myself, before turning back once more to Atlas and Israel.
"Stay behind me," I tell them, before facing our opponent and taking a few steps towards him.
"Macy, no!" Atlas responds. I can hear the sound of chains behind me, but I don't turn back. I just keep my gaze on the giant of a man I'm going to be fighting. I repeat my command, telling Atlas and Israel to stay behind me. They don't have weapons, and I'm for damn sure not letting them get hurt because they were trying to protect me. The man is smirking down at me, and I smirk back at him. This is what I was going to tell Atlas. During my lessons at the Coliseum, the problem I always faced was that while I was trying to wield a sword, I always got distracted by trying to figure out what to do with my other hand. So the gladiators teaching me did the most sensible thing, and they stuck another sword in my free hand.
So, technically, Lucifer was right. I don't know how to handle a sword.
I know how to handle two.
As the man and I approach one another, I reach back and unsheathe the two swords strapped to my back, twirling them into position and settling into a fighting stance. And then he's on me, and as three swords clash, everything else seems to disappear. I can't hear the cheers of the crowd. I can't hear Atlas and Israel behind me. All I see and hear is the man fighting me. All I can focus on is every movement he makes and how to not only deflect them but how to use his momentum to my advantage.
He's clearly got the advantage when it comes to strength and size, but I'm quicker and more agile. And I use that to my advantage. As his sword comes down, I raise my left blade to meet it, and once it's caught, I bring the right blade up to strike it back. For a few seconds, that's all we do. He strikes, and I use my blades and what strength I have to block it. But, eventually, I have my chance. When he raises his sword yet again, I use my superior speed and slice at his abdomen. Once I've hit my mark, I jump back to give myself some room to work as he yells in pain and fury that I made the first real hit. He doesn't even care about the blood running down his side. But I know that this is where the tides start to turn.
The giant of a man is clearly pissed that I managed to make the first strike. But I don't give him a single moment to strike back. I make a move to strike his left side, but just before I hit my mark, I pull back and go for his right side. This is my one advantage in this fight. If he managed to hit me, it would pack quite a punch. But all that size and power means he's slower than me. If I can use his momentum against him, it'll all be over for him. So that's exactly what I do. He can't compensate for my sudden switch in direction, and though he manages to bring his sword down to block my blow, he hasn't had time to properly settle in the new position. So when our swords clash, I drive forward with all of my might, and my momentum sends him two steps back as he compensates.
I continue to drive him back, but then my foot catches. I look down and see that I'm at the end of the chain, the shackle around my ankle meant to keep me in place doing its job. I pull on the chain for a moment, before looking back up to my opponent to see if I have time. I do. So, without hesitation, I catch the chain between both of my swords. I have no clue if this will work, but I have to try. I raise my swords with a quick motion, and to my delight, the blades break right through the chains.
I shake my ankle out as the crowd roars to life, pleased with my ability to break myself free. But there's a group of people that are not happy about it. As soon as the chains broke, Lucifer stood up from his chair, and even down here in the arena, I could feel the rage starting to roll off of him. But he's the least of my worries right now. Right now, I have a fight to win. The giant and I begin to circle one another, both of us free to move as we please. He slashes his sword down at me, but I manage to jump out of the way just in time, slicing up at the same time with my right sword. I manage to graze his arm, not much of a wound, but he's enraged that I've struck him yet again.
With a roar of fury, he begins to charge at me, foregoing the swords and hoping to injure me with his sheer size. But I figured at one point he was going to do that, so I side-step him just in time. But then his eyes lock on Atlas and Israel, who are still watching me with awe and still defenseless. The giant begins to run towards them, and I see the awe in the other two men's eyes turn to panic as they try to figure out what to do.
I can't let him hurt Atlas and Israel. I take off running, catching up to him quickly with my superior speed. Just before I reach him, though, I drop down into a slide. This is where I secure my victory. I slide in between the giant's legs, and as I do, I bring my swords out and use my medical knowledge to aim them in just the right spot. My aim proves true, and as I slide through his legs, my swords slide through his calcaneal tendons. And as I push myself up onto one knee, I hear him crashing to the ground behind me.
I can't take a chance that he'll get up, though. In a flash, I push myself up to stand and rush over to the giant, dropping to my knees to straddle his chest. And then I put one of my bloodied blades against his throat. The entire Coliseum goes silent, the anticipation of the crowd vibrating in the air as they wait to see what I'll do. And, to be honest, I'm not so sure what I'm going to do. I'm a doctor. I save lives, I don't take them. But I also know the rules of the Coliseum- it's a fight to the death. Even if my opponent can't get up right now, if I let him go, there's no promise he won't push through the pain and get to his feet. And there's no promise that next time I face him, I'll come out victorious. Lastly, I know that if the roles were reversed, my opponent wouldn't hesitate to snuff my life out before doing the same to Atlas and Israel.
But my decision is made when I look up at the crowd, right to where the Vultures are sitting. When Lucifer locks eyes with me, he shakes his head gently. I can tell, though. The shake of his head wasn't telling me not to do it. The shake of his head was telling me that I won't do it, that I don't have what it takes to claim a life and truly win this fight. I harden my face and glare at Lucifer as I pull the sword across my opponent's throat, never once breaking eye contact as his blood splatters over me and he takes his last gasping breath.
As I rise and take a few steps away from my fallen opponent, the crowd explodes into voracious cheers. I look up at the crowd, breathing heavily, and I raise one of my swords over my head in a pose of victory.
"Macy! Macy! Macy!" they cheer, chanting their new champion's name. My name. This morning, I never thought that I'd end the day having taken a life. I don't let myself think too much about it. For now, I'm just going to reassure myself by telling myself that desperate times call for desperate measures. And it's like I said. Had the roles been reversed, he would not have hesitated to end me. I look over to where the Vultures are still sitting, most of them tightly gripping the arms of their seats, their displeasure very clear. I tilt my head slightly and point my raised, bloodied sword straight at them.
"Are you not entertained?!" I scream over the crowd. I can tell that they had not expected me to win. In that case, they're really not going to expect what I'm about to do. With my victory and our lives secured, it's time for Atlas, Israel, and I to leave. And with my chains broken, I know just how to do it. Without hesitating, and without speaking a word of my plan, I take off sprinting for the other side of the arena, towards the door that my opponent had come through. With a little effort, I take hold of the lever beside the door and raise it, the door raising right along with it.
Once the door is completely open, I take one of my swords and shove it into the lever, keeping it stuck in the raised position. The cheering of the crowd turns into panicked shouts as they realize what I'm doing. As they realize that I'm breaking us out of here. The Vultures all rise from their seats, but I don't focus on them. I simply sprint back to the other side of the arena, ready to break Atlas and Israel free from their chains. They're shouting my name, calling me back to them, almost desperately pleading with me to not leave them behind. As if I would.
I finally come to a stop beside Israel and tell him to take a few steps forward. He does as I ask, pulling the chain taut. I don't know how well this will work with only one sword, but I have to try. Once I've told him to hold still, I grip the gilt of my sword with both hands and drive it down onto the chain with all of my strength. There's a metallic ring in the air as my sword connects with the chain, and then a snapping noise as the chain breaks. The second he senses that he's free, Israel takes off running for the other side of the arena. Takes off running for freedom.
But that's when a problem occurs. I pull on my sword, ready to free Atlas, but my sword doesn't come with me. It's stuck in the ground. As Atlas calls my name, I pull on the sword with everything I have. It's imperative I get this sword out of the ground- there's no way I can leave Atlas behind, and I know that Israel won't, either. It's all of us or none of us. As Israel reaches the open door, I finally get my sword pulled out of the ground, and I waste no time in running over to Atlas.
"You're crazy, you know that, right?" Atlas says as I reach him.
"Escape now, talk later!" I respond, and he nods in understanding as he steps forward, pulling his chain taut. I again drive my sword into the ground, breaking his chain and freeing him. And just like Israel, he starts running the second he hears the snapping of the chain. Once I have my sword pulled up out of the ground, I take just a singular second to survey our situation, before running after Atlas and Israel. But that's where things start to go downhill.
Israel is on the other side of the door, waiting for us, when the lever holding the door up pushes my sword out. As the lever, and therefore the door, starts to lower, Israel makes a noise of surprise and catches the door, holding it open for Atlas and me. But I can see his muscles straining with the exertion of holding the heavy door up, and I can tell he won't be able to hold it for much longer. I look wildly around the crowd, and my heart sinks as I realize the Vultures are nowhere to be seen. That means they're coming into the arena. Coming for us.
My heart sinks further when I realize that not all three of us are going to make it out.
I can't let the Vultures get to Atlas and Israel. If any of us have to make it out, it's them. So, with a heavy heart, I stop running and plant my feet. I set my aim, and using a motion similar to Annalise's when she threw the rock, I send my sword flying. It lands almost perfectly inside the lever, stopping the door from falling any further. But I can tell by the angle of the sword that it won't hold for very long. If we're going to get out of here, it has to be now. With one last glance around the arena, still not seeing the Vultures, I start running again.
Israel is forced to let go of the door at the same time the sword comes free of the lever. But Atlas is only a few steps away, and he drops into a slide. He very narrowly makes it through before the door lowers all of the way, grabbing my swords on his way under the door. He stands up, breathing heavily, before realizing I'm not with them. I'm still running for the door. Maybe if I can make it in time, I can raise the lever and sneak through before the Vultures can catch me.
"MACY!" Atlas yells, reaching his arms through the door, reaching for me. I'm almost there. I'm almost free. As I get closer, I reach out for him, just as he's doing for me.
I barely brush his fingers when something grabs my collar, pulling me back. And that's when I know that I've been caught by the Vultures. I've been caught, but I'm for damn sure not going to let Atlas and Israel get caught with me. So as two Vultures hold onto my arms and as I fight against them, I look straight at Atlas and Israel.
"GO! GO NOW!" I scream, but Atlas just shakes his head, his face looking almost desperate. Though whether he's desperately trying to tell me not to do this or desperately trying to deny that this is happening, I can't tell. Maybe a little bit of both.
"No! I can't leave you, Macy! I won't leave you behind!" Atlas responds, and this time, I shake my head as I continue to fight against the Vultures. I know I'm caught and that I'm not getting out of this situation, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go down without a fight. If there's even a chance that I can break free of them, I'm going to take it. I manage to get one of my arms free, and I point down the corridor Atlas and Israel are in, telling them to go, to leave me behind.
"You have to go! You have to leave me behind this time! The Renegades need their leader and his right-hand man, they don't need me!" I tell him, and he grips the bars of the door so hard his knuckles turn white, almost trying to shake the door.
"I need you!" When he said it back in the canyon, I didn't believe him. I thought he was more concerned about his promise to Skye than about me. But now things have changed. He's admitted his feelings to me, and this time, I can hear the pure desperation in his voice. But I can't let him get captured again. I have to convince him to leave.
"I'll come back, I promise! One way or another, I'll find my way back to you!" I promise, but he doesn't seem any more convinced. So this time, I look to Israel, who's torn between not wanting to leave me behind and wanting to escape, to get back to his family. "I'll do whatever it takes to protect you two and the Renegades! I'm ready for whatever it takes! Israel, please, take Atlas and go!" As the Vultures finally regain their grip on my arms and start to drag me away, with me kicking and screaming, Israel gives me a small, solemn nod. And as I'm dragged away by the Vultures, Israel grabs onto Atlas and starts to force him down the corridor.
"No, Macy! Macy!" Soon enough, his cries start to grow quiet, and I lose the strength to fight, going limp in the Vultures' grip.
"I'll do whatever it takes." I think the words are more to myself than to anyone else. But I keep saying the words under my breath, cementing my promise to make it back to the Renegades and to Atlas. And as the Vultures drag me out of the arena, into one of the corridors lit only by torchlight, there's almost a strange sense of relief. My sins have been paid for. I put all of the Renegades in danger by not telling Atlas about my original mission and my connection to Lucifer. And I've paid for it. Now it's time for me to escape and find my way back, to start fresh.
But I know full well that the Vultures aren't going to let me go so easily.
The two Vultures holding me throw me against the wall and they all form a semi-circle around me, blocking off my chance to escape. If I'm going to get back to the Renegades, it'll be by going through whatever the Vultures have planned for me. For a second, Lucifer looks down the beak of his mask at me, a dangerous glint in his eyes. But then he shakes his head, heaving an almost disappointed sigh.
"I thought that by erasing the good memories you kept of the Outside, I could turn you into a weapon against the Renegades. I'm disappointed that I was wrong. Jezebel, your idea to dismiss her from her job was a good one. It's a shame that it didn't work," Lucifer says, and I freeze. What? It was Jezebel's idea to dismiss me from my job? But, then that means...
"Wait... so I didn't deserve to be dismissed? I never actually did anything wrong?" I ask, and the Vultures all turn to look at me.
"Of course you didn't actually deserve to be dismissed. We couldn't care less about whether some Invalid could walk or not. But the idea was that if we took your job, and subsequently your entire livelihood, from you, you'd be so desperate to get it back that you'd do anything we told you to do. And it worked, for the most part. We simply underestimated the power of the Renegades. We underestimated what would happen when you were on their turf," Lucifer tells me, his voice completely cold and callous. I stare at him, shocked and almost appalled.
"Well, Lucifer, what should we do with her now?" Belial asks.
"Maybe you could let me play with her. It's been a long time since I've felt the warmth of a woman," Jezebel suggests, taking a step closer to me. I back even further into the wall, trying to keep as much distance between me and her as I can.
"While I appreciate your sadism, Jezebel, I have a different idea for her. She will undergo one trial for every person that made it out of the City because of her. And if she can make it through each of the trials, we'll let her go," Lucifer suggests. I raise my eyebrow, my mind already going on alert. There's more to this. There's no way they'd just let me go because I made it through two trials. But before I can figure out what the catch is, Belial reaches into the pocket of his robe and blows some powder into my face. And within seconds, I'm slumping against the wall, fighting to stay conscious. Just before the darkness can take me, though, I hear a voice. A voice I haven't heard in fifteen years.
I'm so sorry. I thought if I hid the memory of that night from you, history wouldn't repeat itself. But now that it has, you have to have your memory back. You have to remember what happened so you won't repeat any more of my mistakes.