Anirudh sat near the desk, deep in contemplation of her recent actions. His heart and logic warred within him, his words caught in the tangled chords of emotion.
Interlacing his fingers, he placed them on the desk, lost in thought. His gaze lingered on her photo frame, a bittersweet ache tugging at his heart. With a pout, he clutched the picture, feeling a soulful connection to her captured essence.
Slowly, his fingers caressed the soul of her picture. A part of her. And then paused over her sweet face. His thumb having a mind of its own stream stroking her cheek in the image. Urging to literally hold them, squeeze them, caress them. Plant a lingering kiss on her forehead and take her whole petite frame in a deep embrace to reach his ultimate Nirvana.
A gasp escaped his lips as the reality dawned upon him - only a few days remained before she would depart for her higher studies.
These fleeting moments were all they had to create lasting memories before being consumed by the desperation of separation, unsure when they would reunite again.
Tears threatened to blur his vision as he tore his gaze away from the frame, pressing it against his chest to seek some warmth.
She is going to leave him!?
And he won't be able to cope without her jolly presence in his life.
The irony of it all: he had been the one to decide she should pursue her studies in a new environment. His heart ached with the weight of their impending separation, his mind struggling to comprehend her complex behaviour in recent days.
A sigh escaped his lips as he leaned back in his chair.
Why must she do that?
Was it because of that incident?
"Stop please"
"Leave, I am no one to you"
"Please don't do that to me."
"What you did what about that?"
"I have a reason behind it."
"Oh really, Enlighten me with it."
Tears rolled her down cheeks, "I... I Love You, I really do"
And what he did do? He had ignored her entreaties, leaving her in tears as he had turned his back on her, unable to face his own emotions.
He cleared his throat to shake off the memory. It's been more than three years, no chance that's happening again.
Anirudh rose from his seat and approached their shared plant, gently stroking its leaves. They had talked about moving past their past hurts, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. Was there something else troubling her?
Had his playful demeanour crossed a boundary, or was it the impact of a certain song that had stirred up old wounds? He took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of sentiments raging within him.
These moments are theirs, they why is she on a mission to spoil them?
He has no idea.
The wind crept in through the windows' crevices, its gentle touch sending shivers down his arms, his hair brushing against his forehead, a faint warmth stirring within him, beckoning him to embrace it.
Just like his heart, he had firmly locked away any traces of emotion, refusing to let even a hint of feeling infiltrate his resolve. And then she arrived, tiptoeing into his life quietly, stealthily, her eyes set on finding a permanent place in his heart, a place he didn't know existed.
He settled back in his chair with a heavy thud, frustration etched on his face as he closed his eyes and reached for a pen. Sitting in silence, he tried to unravel the tangled mess of his thoughts.
"Akhir Kyun..." he muttered, the pen caught between his lips.
(Why now)
Anirudh's thoughts and actions seemed intertwined, a chaotic tangle leaving him feeling lost, and resentful that he had no one to confide in about his inner turmoil. And the one person who was there, she was the root of his confusion.
Years of uncertainty had passed by in a blur, the fleeting moments slipping away at bullet speed.
In the end, his trembling fingers pulled the diary close, the only sanctuary where he could lay bare his shattered pieces, seeking solace in the written words as he grappled with his inner demons.
Tum mere paas thi, saasein itni bechain na thi,
Mann mein har ghadi tere deedar ki hulchul na thi,
Dil Sagar sa matham tere aagosh mein behta tha,
Labz jo na keh sake, wo nain bayan kr deta tha,
Aaj baitha hoon gairat mein,
Khwahishon ki umeed liye, par kambakt unse hi anjaan,
ye kaisi uljhan hai,
Chahatein meri zameen par, to kabhi falak par hai,
Bas yeh khyal tadpata hai,
ki Kahin Waqt katte katte ye keemti pal kat na jayegye,
kahin tere jaane ke baad ham kho na jaye,
ek glti maine ki, duji tu na dohra,
guzarte waqt mein do pal ke liye zaalim, thehr ja,
Bas theher ja.
You were close to me, my breaths were not so restless,
In my heart, there was no stir of anticipation for your sight,
My heart flowed like an ocean in your embrace,
The heart that couldn't speak the unsaid, those eyes revealed it all.
Today I sit in silence,
With hopes of desires, but alas, distant from there.
What kind of dilemma is this,
Desires that are mine, are times on earth, sometimes in the sky,
Just this thought torments me,
Afraid that these precious moments will slip away,
Afraid that I may lose myself after you leave,
One mistake I made, don't repeat the same,
In passing time, cruel, for just two moments, pause.
Just pause.
He delicately inscribed the words the diary yearned to embrace, its pages awaiting the tender touch of his soul. But the question lingered - would his heartfelt messages ever find their way to the person for whom they were intended?
Bowled over by overwhelmedness, he lowered his head onto the diary, surrendering to the flood that cascaded within him. On the threshold, Somnath stood, a gentle smile painting his features in a blend of empathy and understanding.
As the day drew to a close, the soft patter of rain outside signalled an end to the unspoken tension between them. Finally breaking through the invisible barrier, they found solace in their familiar banter around the dining table, surrounded by the comforting presence of family members.
Outside her room, Anirudh stood bearing a heat compressor. She was on her period, this will ease her cramps.
With a resolute nod, he affirmed their nightly ritual of conversation, even though the looming fact of her impending departure lingered in the background. He would still do that, after all, it was their thing, even she looked forward to this.
Was it?
Shall he?
He took a step back, should he do that?
Her privacy?
Contemplating his next move in mind, he hesitated for a moment, questioning the boundaries of her privacy. With a deep sigh, he grappled with the dilemma, torn between the urge to reach out and the fear of overstepping.
He groaned loudly.
Bondita shifted her cascading locks to one side as she opened the door at the third knock, recognizing the familiar presence waiting on the other side. Clad in his night attire, he stood before her, his hand suspended in mid-air as if hesitant to make the next move.
He stood there in his night suit, his hand frozen in mid-air as if a second away from knocking once again.
Blinking, she gazed at his face, finding him staring at her intently with slightly parted lips, holding a water pack in his hand.
She broke the silence with quickened breaths, moving aside to let him in. He gulped his hand still in mid-air.
Arching a brow at him in amusement, she teased, "Do you have a newfound hobby of knocking on doors? Is it the latest trend in the market?" flashing a lopsided grin at him.
His nostrils flared as he cheekily poked the inside of his cheek, a smirk playing on his lips, before knocking on her forehead.
"Ow," she uttered, giving him a mock scowl, "You're so bad, Patibabu."
"Look at you behaving as if you have all the good girl manners saved in your tiny brain when it hasn't" Placing the compressor on the bed, he turned to her with a mischievous smile.
She crossed her arms over her chest, feigning offence, "Look at you acting like you've saved a saint's manners in you when you're no less than a volcano."
He snickered, walking up to her and standing face to face, teasing, "Aren't you too cocky for a Barrister? Applying past incidents to spice up the court drama, aren't you?"
"Well, I like to do thorough research about my clients before throwing bombs at them," she countered.
"Haww, Bondita, am I training you to be a Barrister or a Gangster?" He flicked her nose playfully, and she blushed.
"Well, I was born a Gangster," she declared boldly, flipping her hair back.
"Oh well, A thief too"
"A sweet thief, maybe?" she winked, surprising him with her response.
Butterflies flutter in his stomach.
"Well, trained Gundi barrister" he smirked with a nod.
"And the Credit goes to my..." she quipped, tapping her cheeks. He looked at her expectantly for his name.
"Brother-in-laws" she finished pursuing her lips together
"So genuine," he sighed, scratching the nape of his neck, avoiding her gaze in embarrassment.
She couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. Groaning in embarrassment, he bid her goodnight, ready to leave.
Grabbing his wrist, still giggling, she apologized, "Okay, sorry."
He turned back, slightly flustered, closing the door and stepping back. A blush tinted her cheeks as she looked down at their hands, slowly releasing it with a fading smile.
He was quick to hold her hand in his palm.
His big hand consumed her tiny hand completely.
She glanced at him, caressing the brown skin tenderly before meeting his eyes. He smiled, and so did she.
He kept his other hand at the small of her back, gently leading her to the bed.
He made her sit and lay down on the bed, propping two pillows beneath her head and placing the warm compress over her belly securely.
Hesitantly, he took her hand in his and leaned down to press a chaste kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and leaned into his touch as she felt his hands stroking her cheek, squeezing, stroking, and caressing them.
All the while, they did not break eye contact.
"You like squeezing people's cheeks a lot, don't you?"
He chuckled, "Not people, just a person. That person is you."
"Why?"
"Because you are my favourite."
She laughed to hide the blush-coating cheeks. Same with him.
With light-hearted conversations and emotions, the night continued unless she surrendered to tempting slumber.
He kept staring at her.
Who was he to complain at least he got a few minutes with her before closing his eyes to slumber. If only that's what the life has to offer to him he'd gladly embrace it.
That was a good note.
🍂
Will they confess or she will leave?
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