Dz, Demeter, Karsh, Dyrk, and Zyggy are the original characters of TikTok creator Ishness.
DZ
"Say it again, slower," I pressed, keeping my eyes locked on Shannyn's face and my hands on her pale blue shoulders. I licked my lips in an attempt to taste anything other than the bitter adrenaline souring my throat. It wasn't even mine to taste, I thought ruefully. It was hers. If she were human, I could easily dissolve the hormone racing through her body so we could both think more clearly. But no. Not for the first time, I resented the fact that I could feel the Ishness entities' emotions but do absolutely jack-shit to affect them.
"R-r-right," Shannyn stammered. "Yes." The shock of blue-gray feathers on her head lowered until they lay flat against her skull. Inner eyelids swept across her inky black sclera. Silently, I admired the control she had over her own emotions--jealous that I often struggled to do the same.
Delicately, the entity lowered herself onto the bench outside Demeter's council chambers. Crossing her legs and clasping her hands around her knee, Shannyn watched me keenly with her shining black eyes as I leaned against the wall across from her.
"Sorry, Dz." Her normal, chime-like voice rang out in the stone hallway. "I know how uncomfortable it is for you when--"
"Don't worry about it," I interrupted gruffly. "What happened?"
Her lips pressed tightly together, the avian creature regarded me carefully. Shannyn was an old friend--one of the handful of entities who hadn't dropped me like a hot potato once I discovered my ability. I'd liked her from the moment we met. We were both constantly surveilling everyone and everything around us, never bothering to hide it. I respected that about her. I always knew what I was getting with Shannyn. Or at least, until this afternoon, when she came hurtling up the spiral staircase, barreling into me just outside Demeter's office. I'd never seen her this... flustered?
No, not flustered. Afraid.
Frowning, I tried to read her expression. "What happened, love?" I murmured.
Shannyn shook her head. "I'd rather wait until Demeter's back, if it's all the same to you."
"She's with Karsh, working on--" I caught myself. "A project. Likely won't be back until late tonight. Always burning the candle at both ends, those brainiac types."
She remained silent, staring at me with those pitch-black eyes. I felt like a bug pinned to a card.
"Shann, come on," I urged. "You know me. You know I'll do what I can to help." Silence. Is this what it's like when I stare at people? I cleared my throat nervously. "Are you worried about your safety?"
"Yes." Her tone was flat, even as she admitted fearing for her life.
I cursed inwardly before warily turning to El's technique that had worked so well on me during my last visit. Maybe if I just stayed quiet... Shannyn would spill.
Several minutes passed. Neither of us said a word.
Abruptly, an errant feather on her shoulder twitched.
I smirked.
Shannyn rolled her eyes and a frustrated chittering sound tumbled from her lips. "Yes, I'm fucking scared, alright? This is outside my area of expertise." Her eyes glinted, as though trying to hint at more. I frowned; it wasn't like Shannyn to be this cagey. Slowly, she continued. "But it's not outside yours, or Demeter's, or Karsh's..."
I narrowed my eyes. "Is it about Host?" I asked slowly.
"It's not about the human, no," she said acidly. "No one here knows anything about her and I imagine you want it to stay that way, so maybe don't say her name so loudly. You don't know who might be listening." She paused, inner eyelids flicking across her eyes, a nervous tic that I'd never seen her display so frequently as she had this afternoon. "But it is about her world."
I scoffed. "Access to the human world is strictly limited now. Nobody but Demeter, Karsh, Zyggy, and me. Council's orders."
"I know that," Shannyn retorted. "Which is why I'm scared shitless, and you should be too." Her sharp avian cheekbones flushed lavender as she grew more agitated, feathers shuddering threateningly.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sighed. I hadn't slept more than two consecutive hours in the week since I'd visited El. Their companionship grounded me; whether I ever said it out loud or not, I always felt calmer after visiting them. But even they hadn't managed to help me shake off my encounter with Aveshra. The few hours of sleep I had managed to snag were filled with whispers of Pain-Eater, clinging to me like scraps of a shadow I'd never manage to shake off no matter how long I stood in the sun.
"Are you alright?" Shannyn's voice cut through the chatter in my skull. "You look..."
"Like shit, I know," I muttered. "Haven't been sleeping well."
Shannyn pursed her thin lips. "Well, that's not good."
"If you're about to lecture me on my fucking sleep habits, I--"
"All I meant, dear boy," Shannyn interrupted, "Was that something's coming. Something's coming, and if you're not prepared to fight, mind, body, and soul... we may not survive."
I blinked. "We?"
"Us. Ishness."
My jaw clenched instinctively. Shannyn was a serious woman, very unlikely to blow things out of proportion. If she was this rattled, something was surely coming. And suddenly, I felt woefully unprepared. A prickling sensation along the nape of my neck forced me to glance down the hall in either direction. Seeing no one but unable to shake Shannyn's infectious paranoia, I jerked my head towards the back stairwell.
"Meet you at mine," I grunted, shoving my fists in my coat pockets and loping down the hall. I knew I could trust Shannyn to be discreet as she made her own way to my cottage on the edge of town.
***
My hands shook as I poured our tea. When I'd listed beverage options, Shannyn had delightedly selected a rooibos that Dyrk had given me at the end of my last visit. Neither Zyggy nor I drank the stuff. Demeter preferred a strong coffee. Even Karsh wasn't a fan of this particular flavor. But Shannyn, it seemed, was. Replacing the lid to the tea kettle, I wondered about the coincidence. Or were Dyrk's powers farther-reaching than I knew? If whatever Shannyn had to say was as bad as it seemed, I wondered if he would be able to help somehow.
Hoping Shannyn wouldn't notice my trembling fingers, I placed both saucers on the cracked wooden kitchen table and took a seat, watching my friend wrap her long clawed fingers around the hot mug. She shivered excitedly at the warmth and raised the cup and saucer, allowing the lightly scented steam to fluff her cheek feathers with humidity.
"Ah," she moaned. "One of my favorites." She took a surprisingly long sip of the scalding liquid before replacing her saucer on the table with a gentle clink and focusing her obsidian eyes on me.
"You can't go back, Dz. None of you can."
I stared at her dumbly. "To the human world? Why?"
"It isn't safe." Her face was expressionless, which in itself wasn't out of character... but this was different. This wasn't genuine calm; it was a mask to hide her anxiety, fear, and paranoia. "It isn't safe, and if you attempt to return, I don't know what will happen to you."
"Shannyn, what the fuck--"
"Have you heard of The Reaction?"
I huffed. "Reaction to what?"
"Not just any reaction. The Reaction." Black eyes in her familiar periwinkle, bird-like face burned into mine. I shrugged. "Well. Okay." Shannyn took another drink of her tea, running her delicate little claws along a crack in the saucer as she chose her words carefully.
"To put it bluntly, Dz... you're not from here. I know Ishness has become your home, but in the grand scheme of things you're still a newcomer. And something tells me you haven't taken the time to learn the history of the place that gave you--" she waved a dismissive hand in my direction. "--all of this. Another chance, after your own people tried to destroy you. And not only that, but powers. An exceedingly rare ability that--hear me out--doesn't benefit me or my loved ones in the slightest."
Automatically, I opened my mouth to defend myself. Shannyn's eyes flashed and I shut it promptly. "Darling, I know you didn't choose any of that. I know it kills you to see us in pain and not be able to help. I know, because I took the time to learn about you. Can you say you've done the same for your new home?"
I swallowed guiltily.
"You think the council is slow to act?" Shannyn scoffed. "They are a vast improvement on their predecessors, believe me. And Demeter's doing what she can, but some--"
She cocked her head to the side, listening. My breath caught in my throat. Several moments passed with only the crackle of the hearth before she was satisfied that it was nothing and continued her explanation.
"Some are tired of waiting. Mostly those whose voices have been ignored the longest, whose families have suffered the most. They call themselves The Reaction. An organization with its roots right here in the city. They're frustrated with the status quo, but the real issue they have is that even with these huge advances--like a traversable connection to the human world--nothing has changed for them." She took another slow sip of the ruddy liquid in her cup. "Things aren't better, Dz."
I looked down at my still-untouched tea and had the sudden urge to dump it on my head. A tangle of feelings were roiling in my gut; my throat was on fire with unspoken questions and arguments. I wanted to say something, do something... but I had no idea what.
Shannyn was right. I didn't know anything about Ishness beyond what Zyggy and I had personally experienced since Demeter brought us here. Karsh frequently admonished me for my disinterest, but I'd always brushed it off as more of his intellectual bullshit. What Demeter needed done, I'd take care of it. Always. I owed her that. And what's more, she was usually right. It was true that I'd never really become embedded in day-to-day life in Ishness, but surely that was because nothing much happened? Listening to Shannyn, guilt pricked at the back of my throat.
The feeling of guilt reminded me of something. Someone.
I sat up suddenly. "Aveshra."
Shannyn froze mid-sip. Her inner eyelids flitted rapid-fire as her feathers fluffed in alarm.
"Where did you hear that name?" She kept her voice low, but I heard the quivering tone she was fighting to hide. "Dz, where--"
"She confronted me last week. Town square, dawn."
"You've met her in person?" Shannyn asked urgently. I nodded.
An involuntary shiver ran through Shannyn's body from the crest of feathers on her head down to the dainty calves that disappeared into her worn gray boots.
"Then it's too late. I'm sorry, Dz. You are stranded here. No one can return to the human world."
The snapping and popping of the fire was too normal a background for what Shannyn had just said.
"Wait. Just--just wait," I said in disbelief. "You're going too fast again. I don't understand. What does Aveshra have to do with The Reaction? How could they possibly cut off access to the human world?"
Shannyn stood abruptly, narrowly avoiding the table as she rose to her feet. "If The Reaction has already made contact with you, then we don't have time." She began to pace the tiny room as her agitation grew. "I told Demeter we needed to prepare. I know Karsh is pressuring her to focus on the orb, but--"
"Woah, woah." I stood as well, shoulders braced as though a fight were already at my doorstep. "How do you know about the orbs?"
Shannyn fixed me with a withering glare. "I listen, Dz. I observe. You know this about me. Demeter has been careful, but--"
"It's Zyggy, isn't it," I spat, desperate to place the responsibility somewhere, automatically preparing to ignore the familiar, meek voice that would whisper a defense in the back of my head.
But I didn't hear anything.
"Not Zyggy," Shannyn said coldly. "Dz, a secret this big can't be kept forever. It's apparent that The Reaction know too much, likely even more than I do, and I'm afraid of what they might have done to shut--"
I raised a hand. Shannyn fell silent, eyes darting around the room for what had alarmed me. But she wouldn't find it.
I had just realized--I hadn't heard from Zyggy since my visit to El.
Closing my eyes, I reached into the back recesses of our mind, searching for a hint of his presence in our shared little world. He'd been quiet for long stretches of time before; especially with the shit sleep we'd been getting, I hadn't made anything of his absence. I was always the tired one. But surely he was still here, just--
"Dz?"
"Quiet."
Several minutes passed. My eyelids squeezed tighter and tighter as I waited for him to come forward.
It was quiet, and cold, and dark. I started to feel queasy.
"Dz..."
I opened my eyes to see Shannyn standing in front of me. We were the same height. Her eyes, endless black pools, met my pale ones. Again, I tasted her adrenaline in my throat, but this time it was tinged with the saltiness of the tears she fought to swallow. Or were those mine?
She rested her small hand lightly on my arm. "Dz, when's the last time he was here?"
"I--" I cleared my throat. "Last week."
"Before or after Aveshra confronted you?"
"After," I whispered. "But in the human world. I haven't heard from him since the movie with El."
Shannyn watched me searchingly. It was strange to see someone else perform the role I usually did--the problem solver. The detective. The protector. I saw a thousand questions forming behind her eyes, but tactfully, she kept them to herself, which I was grateful for. The realization came like a train--slow but unstoppable, thundering down the tracks.
For the first time in my memory, I was alone.
And then the train flattened me. I gasped, but my lungs were completely void of oxygen. Darkness crept around the edges of my vision.
I had no one.
Not no one, said a voice in my head. It sounded like Zyggy but it wasn't--I just knew what he would say if he were here.
El. You have them.
I pulled out my cell phone, ignoring Shannyn's hawkeyed-focus on the rare piece of human technology I held in my hands. My thumbs flew across the screen as I texted El to tell them I was coming. Within the hour, if they could manage it.
"Dz," Shannyn said slowly, still watching me type my message. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going back."
She chittered furiously and shook her head, feathers twitching in exasperation.
"Like hell you are. Haven't you been listening? If you try to pass through the connector--The Reaction has done something to it, it isn't safe, it's--"
I allowed Shannyn's protestations to fade into the background as I steeled myself for what I was about to do. Images of Munk, Owen, and Dyrk flitted across my mind. Then the faces of all the humans I'd helped. Katya rising to the surface brought a sharp ache to my chest, followed by the most recent ones. Host. El.
A feeling accompanied these memories. Not another image--it wouldn't have met much to me anyway, we've never met face-to-face--but a feeling. A feeling of warmth. Curiosity. Excitement. Joy. Love. Everything I felt when Zyggy and I passed one another in the darkness, exchanging the front for the safety of our shared dark world.
My throat tightened.
Whatever the risk was, it was worth it.
As I shrugged the worn gray peacoat onto my shoulders, I hoped I had enough time to make one more trip. Even if it was my last--even if I couldn't come back to Ishness. I wasn't wanted here, let alone needed; anyone could fill the role of Demeter's bloodhound. No... my ability tied me to the human world. They needed me. I knew I could help them.
"When they get back, tell Demeter and Karsh everything," I ordered Shannyn, extinguishing the hearth fire hurriedly. "Where I went. What you know about The Reaction. All of it."
"Dz, please--"
I put my hands on her shoulders to steady her. It felt like days ago that we had been in this exact same position, when it had really only been a few hours.
"You and I both know I wouldn't understand it all, anyway. You're the brains. I'm the brawn."
Lip quivering, Shannyn flashed me a weak, watery smile and reached up to dab at her tears as they soaked the layer of microscopic undereye feathers, darkening them to a rainy-day bluish gray. Automatically, I cupped her face in both hands and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. "Talk to Demeter. I need to help my friends. I need to find Z--" My voice cracked, betraying me. I couldn't say his name, so I moved on. "See you soon, love."
Shannyn squeezed my forearms in farewell. I planted a quick kiss on her forehead, then left home and headed for the forest, where El's passageway always appeared. They hadn't responded to my text yet, but I knew they'd meet me in the darkness.
EL
My fingertips drummed an incessant beat against my knee. Clenching them into a fist, I tried to bring my attention back to the random movie I'd selected, worrying uneasily that it wasn't immersive enough to open the passage.
Glancing at the clock on my wall, I realized he was late. Which wasn't worrying in itself, but his text had made it sound like something was wrong.
And he'd never been this late before.
I grabbed the remote and clicked through my options, looking for something that would spark my imagination quickly and easily. Something to prop the door open, Dz always said, so he could slip in.
The minutes ticked by as I spiraled into panic, tapping fruitlessly through the streaming service's selection. Nothing felt like it would do the trick.
What else could prop the door open? How else do I escape?
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and began to peel away my awareness of the world around me. Of my living room; of the texture of the couch cushions underneath me; of the sound of traffic outside my window. Finding even the warm pink of my inner eyelids too distracting, I covered my eyes with the crook of my elbow. Breathing in the natural scent of my skin. Feeling the pulsing warmth of the delicate spiderweb of blood vessels against my face. Letting my mind float freely away from the reality of my physical body that so rarely felt like home, into darkness.
This isn't going to work, I thought miserably. I'm failing him.
And there it was--fainter than normal, maybe, but still present. The faint scent of vanilla cigars.
I opened my eyes.
I was in the darkness.
But where was Dz?
Anxiously, I looked around. Dz was always right here, waiting, offering his hand, a crooked grin revealing a single fang. Ready to offer me an escape from reality.
But he was nowhere to be seen.
"Dz?" My voice came out in a timid squeak. Expecting to hear a teasing jibe, I cleared my throat, embarrassed. "Dz, where are you?"
The croak of a voice that answered me was barely recognizable.
"El?"
I stared open-mouthed as Dz stumbled forward from the shadows, one arm outstretched towards me and the other wrapped around his torso. He had never looked so... broken.
My jaw worked to formulate a response but no sound came out. Here, in the comforting darkness where we had met so many times before, where Dz had always been waiting to lead me into Ishness, where I had always felt safest... it didn't feel safe anymore. Not for me, and not for him.
Suddenly, my friend stopped in his tracks, an unfamiliar expression of intense pain on his face. I watched in horror as his broad shoulders crunched inwards, as though a giant invisible fist was crumpling him like a ball of paper. The sound of his scapula cracking under unseen pressure made me feel sick to my stomach. His already narrow cheeks became horrifyingly gaunt; his white eyes, now tinged with red, were filled with fear.
"Dz," I whispered, frozen in place.
A trickle of blood, so dark red it was almost black, oozed from the crack on his skull.
"Go."
The syllable had barely slipped from his lips before a coughing fit wracked his body, threads of blood and spit dripping from his mouth, teeth clattering to the floor along with the flood of gore.
Dz collapsed to his knees with a hoarse scream, then looked up at me, eyes rimmed with red tears.
"El, GO!" he roared through a mouthful of blood and bone.
In an instant, as though in response to his command, the darkness suddenly expanded, shoving us apart with an invisible force. A gap of several yards now separated us.
Too far to reach him in time, a voice in my head whimpered. Too far to help...
With a wordless noise of frustration, Dz swung both fists down through the opaque black mist, towards the ground. Except there was no impact--just before he hit the floor, he disappeared in an instant, swallowed up in the curling fingers of darkness.
I screamed. But that too was devoured by the black.