Ship/duo/trio: gnap(I'm changing snf to this just because)
Genre: Angst and hurt - comfort
Plot: after years of rejection, George realizes a bit too late that he's in love with Sapnap. When George finds out that he's talking with a mutual friend of theirs, it doesn't really go well.
Trigger warnings: ED/disordered eating, depression, and talk of suicide.
AUs: none
Also, Tony is gonna be in here but I'm not sure if he js really uncomfortable with this stuff. If he is I can change it up.
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Did you know Sapnap used to have the fattest crush on George? It's true. He confessed to George multiple times throughout their years of friendship, and everytime, George would reject him. At first he was nice about it saying things like "oh You're still young, find someone better for you," or "Sorry, I don't like you like that," but eventually, George gave up on kindness. As their bond grew stronger, George felt more comfortable to be downright cruel. Laughing in his face and giving him harsh rejections. He always felt a pang if guilt in his chest, but that was their dynamic. That was how they were, Sapnap knew that.
But he had a problem. All of those years ago, he was so naive and blind to how he felt. Now he realizes that he is stupid in love with Sapnap. Every time he insults him, he wants to hug him and apologize a million times while confessing his love to him. He wants to wake up next to him every morning. He wants to wrap his arms around his waist and kiss his cheeks. He wants to love him.
But when he tells Sapnap, he's met with a response that shatters his world. When he pours his heart out to Sapnap, puts all of his trust in him to be vulnerable like that, he just scoffs in his face and says "so it took you almost 8 years of hurting me and laughing in my face before you realized you felt the same? That's low, even for you. Sorry George, but I'm already talking to someone else," and George was heartbroken.
"W-wait- no-"
"Don't, George. Just don't. I waited for this moment our whole friendship, and when I finally got the message that I wasn't wanted in that way, you decide to go and pull this shit? That's fucked. You- god! You're so fucking selfish," Sapnap sadly scolds before walking off and slamming the front door.
George feels so shitty. So fucking shitty. Partially because he just got the worst rejection of his life- a literal scoff- and partially because he knows how much he hurt Sapnap. He was in the wrong and he knew that.
He deserved so much more than a little scoff. Sapnap should have pointed and laughed, humiliated him in front of all of their friends and get them to laugh too. That was a better punishment for hurting Sapnap.
But Sapnap said he was talking to someone else, and George was fuming. They probably had no idea what they had. They probably thought of Sapnap as just another hookup when they should be thanking Sapnap just for taking the time to look in their direction. But when he found out that this 'someone' was a mutual friend if theirs', he felt a bit better. But also worse. At least he would be cared for. At least he would be taken care of, and he wouldn't be hurt. If he was being completely honest with himself, he would probably treat Sapnap 10x better than George ever could.
But sadly, this has also cause a drift between George and their friend.
Everytime Sapnap announces he's going out, George mutters something like "to see that asshole again?" To himself, but Sapnap always hears. Sapnap always just says something like "cut it out" or "Shut the fuck up," and he means it those times. He doesn't have that fond smile or endearing tone when he says it, no. He's genuinely upset at George.
Eventually, George's jealousy becomes too much and they get into a big fight. Worse than any of their other fights. They're yelling, screaming, insulting each other and it's... it's not good. At some point sapnap yells "you can't keep hurting me and rejecting me, and then expect me to come right back to you once I've finally found someone else who actually treats me like someone with fucking emotions! You did this to yourself!" And at this point Sapnap was crying, just so heartbroken by this whole situation. George just shuts his mouth because Sapnap was right. He was a complete and total asshole who should have handled this situation so much better. He shouldn't have laughed at Sapnap, shouldn't have rejected him in such a mean way, shouldn't have been so possessive. He could have at least tried things out with him. Now he's the one getting laughed at and rejected, making Sapnap cry, and he deserves so much worse.
"Well I'm fucking sorry that I love you!" George cried.
"Do you, though? Do you actually, because you don't treat someone you love like this! God how can you be so selfish and act so fucking innocent all at once?!" Sapnap yelled.
"I do love you, Nick, I do! I've been trying to have a damn conversation with you but you just- you shut me out!" George yelled back.
"Maybe it's because that's all you did!" Sapnap screamed. George's mouth snapped shut. "I fucking!- God you... I can't stand to see you right now. I'm gonna stay with Tony for a while," Sapnap slowly calmed down.
"No Nick- please-"
"Shut the fuck up for once. I'm going to stay with him for a while, and I don't want to see you at his door with those stupid puppy dog eyes. Matter of fact, I don't even want to hear that you were at his house," Sapnap spat, bitter and filled with anger.
And George respected that rule. He let Sapnap go. He let him go, let him be free. They didn't even talk for two whole months and George? Well, George didn't seem to be handling it so well. The only person he had actual communication with was Dream, and he had no idea how to make this situation better. Dream was slowly starting to see him resort to his old habits, and it was scary. He only heard about how bad George's state was in London, but if this is anything like it, he has no idea how George survived that long without any support. George never, and I mean never left his room. The door was locked and Dream was seriously considering breaking it down at times because of the lack of sound coming from his room. The only signs of life he had was the sound of George's shower starting, which at this point, was a rare occurrence, or the sound of his mini fridge opening- at least George was keeping himself somewhat fed- and don't get Dream started on the
amount of time he's heard George crying. Dream would know George left his room if he came home from getting groceries, and found a bunch of new dishes in the cupboard or dishwasher.
Dream was fucking worried. And so pissed at Sapnap. He understands George did a shitty thing, and he knows Sapnap is really hurt by this, but it takes effort to get George to a state like this. He knows Sapnap is hurting, but at least he sought out love and support and is receiving it. Sapnap is actually talking to someone and getting help. George won't let himself get help. It's almost as if George wants to feel like this. Like he thinks he's punishing himself for hurting Sapnap all those weeks- months ago.
How does he know Sapnap is getting help? Because he has been visiting. And his first visit there was quite frankly, disappointing to Dream. Sapnap heard his car pull up, and he immediately assumed George came to apologize. Dream did not appreciate the greeting he got when Sapnap thought he was George. Long story short, no one should start a conversation by yelling at you to fuck off and- "I said I never wanted to see you again!"- regardless of what they did. At least say "hi" or "what do you want". That's basic human decency.
But he knows Sapnap is getting love and support because Sapnap looks and sounds healthy. He's his same happy, chirpy self only a bit quieter and less energetic. He's obviously eating normal sized portions because Dream has watched him have every meal. And his hair looks healthy, and he doesn't stink so he's obviously having regular showers. Meanwhile George as back at home killing himself. Hopefully not literally, but at this rate, that's becoming a genuine concern for Dream. All this and Sapnap doesn't even care to say George's name! He gets George hurt him but come on! How does Sapnap not even have the decency to ask about him?! Even some petty shit like "is he still moping?" Is better than nothing!
But there was one time Dream brought him up.
"You know, George is going to want to talk to you at some point."
"Well that's too bad because he won't," Sapnap shrugged. "Tony's not letting him in anytime soon."
"Listen, Nick, I get that he hurt you, I'm pissed at him to, but this is just cruel! It's- it's wrong! He's at home-"
"I don't care, Clay! Try having your heartbroken countless times and see what that does to you!" Sapnap yelled.
"Are you seriously going to throw away 8 years of friendship because of this?!" Dream snapped. Sapnap went silent. Were they actually not friends anymore?
"what? N-no-"
"What is he to you?" Dream asked. There was genuine disappointment in his voice, and that caught Sapnap off guard.
"What?" Sapnap asked.
"What is George to you? Because I'm seriously doubting he's your friend at this point." Dream said.
"W-wait no- he's- he's still my friend..." Sapnap said.
"What's disappointing is the fact that I genuinely don't believe you." Dream shook his head.
"W-wait no- i- I want to talk to him!"
"Well that's too bad because you won't," Dream sighed. "I'm not letting you in anytime soon."
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George didn't want to see Sapnap. Not because he was bitter, but because he was worried he would make him uncomfortable. So why was he stood outside of Tony's house? Why is he at the one place he knows Sapnap is? Why is his chest tightening as he hears footsteps coming towards the door he just knocked on. And why does it feeling a lump is stuck in his throat as he looks at the tall, muscular man in front of him?
"Uh- George what are you doing here? Nick doesn't really want to see you right now, he's still really upset with you-"
"Take care of him." George said, bitter and heartbroken, shame forcing his eyes to look at his feet.
That's why. He wanted to make sure Sapnap was okay and well taken care of. He just wanted to know Sapnap was doing better than he was.
He couldn't give a damn about the anger in their friend's voice. Well, given the situation he wouldn't be surprised if he stopped wanting to be friends with George.
"Wait what?" Tony asked.
"You guys are really close, and I can tell he loves you so just- don't hurt him. You don't understand how lucky you are to have someone like him love you like that..." George looked bad. His eyes were red like he had just been crying, his hair was all over the place, and just by listening to the pain in his voice you could tell he was not okay. The silence was awkward, and George could tell he probably wasn't wanted here. Just as he was starting to walk away, their friend stopped him.
"Wait!" Tony said, hand wrapped around George's frail wrist. God had he eaten anything? "You-" he sighed. "You really hurt him. But I can tell you care. I can tell you want things to be better. That's not easy. I still- I still care about you and I can tell you're doubting that. Do you need a hug?" He asked. George didn't respond. Instead he just dove into his friend with a force that could knock him over if he wasn't so weak right now. Wrapping his arms around the brit, he could tell George had barely eaten anything. He felt so small and weak, like he would crumple under the smallest squeeze.
He spoke to George a bit more, letting him know that Sapnap is doing okay, and that he'll probably calm down soon. Really just pulling reassurance out of his ass because Sapnap probably wasn't going to be talking to him anytime soon. Well, not unless he does something.
"Nick, we need to talk," Tony started.
"Yeah, what's up?" Sapnap asked.
"So... try not to get upset- but uh... George came over this morning," he said.
"What?" Sapnap said. He seemed angry. But a part of him held hope.
"I know! I know. You don't want to see him and he made it very clear he wants to respect that," Tony started. "But- I'm... I'm genuinely worried about him," he said.
"What? Why?" Sapnap asked.
"Nick- He... do you still consider him your friend?" Tony asked.
"I... I don't know..." Sapnap said, looking down at his hand.
"Do you still care about him?" He asked. Sapnap slowly nodded. "Okay. So..." Tony spent a few seconds to try and find a way to word these next few sentences. "Nick, he's not okay. He came over and all he wanted to know was if you were okay. And- God Nick he was a mess. He has obviously been crying, and I'm... I'm worried he hasn't been eating..."
"W-what do you mean not eating?" Sapnap asked.
"His really skinny. And he honestly- I don't know how to put it. He like- feels malnourished. I gave him a hug because- well that's a different story. But he was so light and weak. He was so pale and his hair was a mess. Nick he's genuinely not okay," Tony explained.
"I-..." Sapnap had no idea what to say. Had he caused that?
"And I spoke with Clay. Apparently George used to have a really bad eating disorder. I'm not sure if you already knew about that, but he basically said that he had recovered and been eating normally for 5 years. And he feels really guilty for going back to his old habits," Tony said.
"Did- did Clay tell you anything else?" Sapnap asked, almost hesitant as if he didn't want to hear the answer.
"Yeah. George uhm. Apparently hasn't left his room, and since your fight, has only spoken to Clay twice. He said something about this seeming similar to when he was in London? I don't know what that means, so I'm assuming you do," Tony said.
Sapnap went dead silent as thoughts- panicked thoughts rushed through his head.
Similar to London? George was literally suicidal in London. He called him in a panic when he almost attempted. He was there for him then, why can't he be there for him now?
"Also, did you tell him we were seeing each other?" Tony asked.
"Oh- uhm. Yeah... I was just trying to get under his skin and hurt him more because I-... I was petty and upset at him and I- I thought maybe putting the idea in his head that there was no chance we could get together would like... I dunno..."
"Break his heart?" Tony asked.
"N-no! No I would never do that to him-"
"You did. No one starves themselves to the point of emaciation because they're "moping" about not getting with their crush. George was madly in love with you and you- you intentionally broke his heart. That fact is heartbreaking in itself, Nick. Look- I get what he did was wrong but- to be honest you've antagonized yourself. You've made yourself the bad guy, Nick," Tony sighed.
"I-..." Sapnap had to fight back tears. He had made himself the victim for so long, he didn't need to now. "I have to talk to him. I-i need to make things right I!- he's not gonna want to see me..." Sapnap sighed.
"The only reason he hasn't been talking to you is because you told him you didn't want to. If you came to him ready and willing to talk, I bet he would gladly talk to you. But I would recommend talking to Clay first as he has been the only one there for him these past two months, and probably knows how to handle this the best," Tony advised. Sapnap winced at the passive aggression throughout that whole bit of advice. So he really was in the wrong, wasn't he? He didn't like when everyone in his life was mad at him, but now he realizes that if they weren't mad at him, he would still think George was the bad guy. When really, the only person George has been cruel to is himself.
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Sapnap stood in front of Dream with a look of remorse. Dream knew what that look meant. He knew what Sapnap wanted.
"I thought you weren't going to talk to him?" Dream said. Sapnap winced at the anger in Dream's voice. George mustn't be in a good condition to have Dream this protective over him.
"I-... I know I just- Tony talked some sense into me I guess?..." Sapnap explained.
"Hm. Well, when you realize what you're doing is wrong without needing to be told, come back," Dream said, cold and- hateful as he slammed the door in Sapnap's face.
Was he ever going to make things right with George?
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3000 words exactly AGAIN bro I'm too good.
This may or may not be a sneak peek at a future fanfic I'm thinking of writing...
ALSO NO PROOF READ BECAUSE FUCK U I NO NO WANNA >:(