All the things I will never say..

4

****,
          My pretty girl... It's been a day since I told you I didn't like you anymore..it's a complete lie but I'm doing this for the sake of both of us. If I continue to like you in public we would both get hate for it I don't want you to be hurt by this whole thing.. you don't need to know how much I love you because then your going to feel bad and continue being my friend but now that you think I don't like you, you can end our friendship whenever something happens without having to feel guilty. And wtf did you mean by "no way someone would like me it was js u being bored" I know damn well I was not bored you should hear the way I talk about you, I wrote poems about you I wrote notes about you and I know I said I don't trust you yet but I do I trust you with my whole heart but because of the situation hand..its hard to say the least.  I try to remember every little detail about you.. I will always be by your side even if we're not friends anymore or if someone does or says something to you I promise I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe because then I'd be able to feel like I have a reason for living..you've saved me in many ways and I know I've told you this before but I don't think you understand how much I love you and how much you helped my mental health. I don't know why a person wouldn't like you your smart pretty kind loving respectful honest loyal trustworthy I know ok..? I know I said I didn't trust you yet but I'm learning to..who ever you marry in the future is going to be lucky to have a loving and supportive wife like you I wish you the best in the future. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I never met you I would probably not want to go to school and would have skipped many days by now, but you motivate me to go to school just knowing that I'll be able to see you and that beautiful smile of yours makes my days so much better and I feel like it gives me a reason to keep going. Loving you is not something I'm proud of but it's also not something I can control I know how much you want it to stop but I can't just stop loving you..I'm in too deep with this shit, so from now on what ever your involved in I will be involved too because we're in this together now..only if you want me to? If you want me to do anything..just ask I would give you the world if you wanted me to.