The past few days had been nothing but endless worrying and preparing for the war ahead of us. The group was scared and restless as we ran around like headless chickens, stocking up bullets and machinery to help us. Rick had us all working hard, even Carl, to make sure we could have a great chance at this. He had me in charge of making sure the fences are reinforced up at the catwalk and the bullets were distributed fairly across all stations.
I had Glenn and Beth up at the catwalk making some reinforcements to the fence while Maggie and Charlie were trying to find more advantage points in the prison to hide away ammunition and machinery. It was partnered this way to get more work done because I know no work would get done if they were grouped any differently. Charlie and Glenn would mess around far too much and probably end up doing the stupidest thing known to man which we could not risk right now. Charlie and Beth would not get any work done by chatting with each other and Charlie would distract Beth, indefinitely. Maggie and Glenn definitely were a good team out on the road but now they had some privacy in places of this prison. I know the only thing getting done is a bit of the old in-and-out, in-and-out and we didn't need another baby brought into this group.
I had Merle do a general clean up inside the cell block which caused me a lot of bargaining to do. He was sure as shit not doing what I said until I offered him a glass of some fine whiskey I found within that house a few weeks ago. But he wasn't getting that until I saw some significant improvement in the cleanliness. I had Daryl watching Judith and Carl because even though he was a bit of a 'naughty word' for leaving I knew he would keep a firm eye on them. I trusted him with that. Michonne and I were clearing out a section of the yard to have another advantage point.
All the slaughter had been done, all that was to be done was moving the bodies and burning them which was easier said than done. I grabbed a molden, rotten fleshed arm as I tried to force it across the path. Its arm was slimy in my grasp as I tried my hardest to pull its body with all my force. I let out a groan as I use my force to pull it again. With a grunt, I fall straight onto my ass with a thud causing shocks of pain to wave through my backside. A loud cackle erupts from a few feet away as Michonne stood with her hands on her knees bellowing. Trying to hide behind my arms, I succeed at turning red with embarrassment in front of the cool samurai.
"Are you okay?" Michonne tries to say in between laughs that came straight from the stomach. I scowl at her as she moves towards me holding her stomach with a bright smile trying to calm herself down. "Here." She offers me her hand and I take it hesitant due to embarrassment. I would do anything for the ground to swallow me up right now. "Sorry." She apologises, giving me a cocky smile. Unamused, I stare at her with my face redder than red itself and she struggles to keep her laugh when a snort erupts out of her which sends her into a fit of laughter again.
Looking at her from the side of my eye, I extend my arm and shove her lightly which causes her to become unstable and fall on her own ass. We both start to shake from laughter as she falls onto the floor and lays there. "Sorry." I lend her my hand with a chuckle. Michonne slowly holds onto my hand as I begin to hoist her up and gives me a sly smile. Suddenly, she pulls my hand with full force causing me to tumble onto the floor beside her.
"That's happened to you like 2 times now." She sarcastically says with a light hearted chuckle.
I force myself up and brush my hands on my jeans to get rid of the gravel from the floor. "I don't recall it happening." I shake my head, "You must be going crazy, Michonne." I shrug my shoulders.
"Are you really gaslighting me, Kaia?" Michonne asks me, her mouth open in pretend shock.
"No idea what you're talking about." I shake my head as Michonne gets up from the floor. She brushes her hands against each other to get rid of the small stones from the floor. Her hair falls across her shoulders as she shakes her head with a smile.
The group soon comes out of the cells, slowly in small groups, and I assume they've done their work. "You guys alright?" I look up at them as I grab the arms of a walker while Michonne grabs the legs. We begin to heave the body over to a pile of walkers to burn later. A few of them nod at me but stand there just watching me and Michonne struggle with the walkers. "Are any of you gonna help or just stand there and watch?" I question them. Charlie and Glenn come forward to help move the walkers out. "I'll leave you two for this job, my big strong boys." I pat them both on the back and make my way to the others. "We need some reinforcements in the yard. I was thinking of barbed wire in case they wanna run through our fences again."
"How can we do that?" Maggie asks, "The yard is filled with walkers; we'd never be able to get them all without wasting ammo."
"Valid point." I agree, "Pots and spoons from inside use them along inside the fence over there. Banging them attracts walkers and distracts them from what's going on behind them. If some come, others can handle it." Maggie nods and beckons Carl to go with her to get some. "Can you bring Daryl out here?" I ask Beth and she nods eagerly to go find him. "And Michonne, can you bring out your lovely sword to help out in the yard." I ask her, sweetly with a smile.
"You're asking me to do something after you've just gaslighted me?" Michonne tilts her head, "Unbelievable. You know what I'm not going to listen to your orders anymore-" Playfully, I cut her sentence off with a tap to her arm which earns me a small smile before she nods her head. "Of course, your majesty." She bows in front of me.
"See this is how you guys should treat me." I point at Michonne's bow. Glenn shakes his head at me and Charlie snorts.
"You're no way near royalty, Kaia." Charlie shoots back, "Royalty would never smell as bad as you." Wow, he's getting some attitude.
"Me?" I place my hand on my chest in shock as Daryl walks out with Maggie and Carl, "Think you're mistaking me for that one." I point over to Daryl, who wipes his hands on a handkerchief he had stashed in his pocket.
"You wish you looked like me." Daryl wipes his last finger on the handkerchief before putting it back.
"Nah, no one wants to look like they haven't ever washed their ass before." I fire back which earns a few belly laughs from the others. "I need all hands on deck now." I tell them all as I map out our plan for today.
About 15 minutes later, I find myself in the back of the pickup truck with Glenn and Daryl as Maggie and Carl attract the walkers to the fence. Carol sits up front as she drives the car around and drops Michonne off to fuck up some walkers. A few pieces of wood with barbed wire lay next to our feet in the back of the truck to nail down. Not a lot of protection for us but it was something. Every little bit helps now. Carol stops momentarily and we jump out of the car. Glenn and Daryl drop the wood on the ground and I run around to hit the nails in the ground to secure it. We jump back into the boot again and we do this a few times. I slam the hammer into the nails for the last one and spot a familiar someone across the yard and my smile widens as I see him.
I tap Glenn on the shoulder and nod at Ash to alert him as I run across the field. Pulling my hammer against a few of the walkers heads that had not been distracted by Maggie and Carl's music band, I sprint over to Ash who fights a few walkers himself. Jumping into him, I wrap my arms around his neck and he holds me tight as he spins me around. He lets go of me suddenly and rams his knife into a walker's head a few times before looking back at me. "Come on, love birds." Glenn calls from the car.
I grab Ash's hand and I pull him as we run up to the car. Michonne quickly jumps in the front of the car as Ash and I get into the back with Glenn and Daryl. "I missed you." Ash tells me before kissing me on the head. Glenn smiles and looks away from us as Daryl scowls at Ash.
"Missed you too." I smile at Ash as we enter the courtyard. Before the car makes a proper stop, Daryl jumps out of the back and walks away quickly. What is his problem? "What's wrong with moody pants?" I ask and Glenn raises his eyebrows at me, "What?" Is the answer so obvious?
Glenn shrugs and jumps out of the car once it makes a proper stop. What the hell? I tell Ash to wait as I follow Glenn who turns down a small part of the courtyard he had been trying to figure out how to secure. "Glenn." I call out to him and he stops, turning around. "What the hell?" I ask the obvious.
"What?" He asks, confused.
"Why did you give me that look?"
"What look?" Glenn acts dumb.
"Like I should've known what was wrong with Moody Margaret." I move my hands around.
"It's what everyone thinks." Glenn tells me. What does everyone think? "You and Ash, it's weird. You're dating but he's on the Governor's side."
"We are not dating, Glenn." I told him.
"You are." He nods with certainty.
"No, we are not." I argue back.
"You kiss. He spends nights here randomly every week and the way you greeted him was proof that you guys are together. Maybe not exclusively but you're together." He shrugs his shoulders. Maybe he was right. Maybe I just didn't realise it seemed that serious. Does Ash think we are together?
"Do you think he thinks we're together?" I bite my thumb and Glenn nods quickly, "Really?"
"Yeah." Glenn nods, "Maybe make things clear, you know, ask him about it?" I nod and take in his advice. It used to be me giving Glenn advice back at the farm but it's him giving me advice now. Oh, how the tables turn. I glance behind us and I spot Ash walking up to us slowly. Did I not tell him to stay there? Glenn looks between us and walks away into cells as he assumes we need privacy.
"Thanks for coming back the other day." I thank him.
"I missed you. How could I not?" He smiles at me and strokes my face. I smiled slightly at him which seemed ingenuine for a moment almost as if I forced it.
"I wanna ask you a question because I have been so unsure. I didn't really know what this was like... I don't know-" I ramble on but get cut off by Ash's lips crashing against mine. I'm taken aback for a minute as I stand frozen. That was unexpected. I stayed frozen for a couple seconds before accepting the kiss back. Our kiss lasts a while, possibly too long, but I finally pull away from him. His hands drape across my shoulders as I step back and spot someone. Daryl stands a few feet away from us and his eyes show me an emotion I didn't quite understand. Ah shit. He glares at us before walking away in a huff.
"What the fuck was that about?" Ash asks me and I shrug my shoulders. I have no idea.
"Maybe just awkward." I tell him, "I need to get a few things done. Few things need sorting so maybe I'll- I'll catch you later." I shift from foot to foot before walking away quickly. Shit. All this time since Ash and I first found each other again, he has thought we have been together or seeing each other. But I never knew or agreed to this. Maybe my feelings for Ash aren't strong enough to be with him. I'm not ready for something so long term. I need some alone time away from everyone.
I find myself in the electricity room sitting between a big wooden storage unit and a large metal box that used to have some purpose of containing working wires to make this prison work. I tried my best to conceal myself so no one could spot me and ruin my time alone. I just didn't want to think. But the door swings open and I hear someone begin rummaging through the cabinets of a storage unit as if they were looking for something they needed. Can no one ever get any alone time around here?
I stay still and quiet just hoping they would fuck off in a few minutes but then someone else walks in through the loud door. Let's just hope it isn't Glenn and Maggie looking for some alone time because that would be traumatising. "Hey, little brother." I hear Merle greet his brother.
"What the hell?" Daryl replies, his accent thicker while speaking to his older sibling.
"I was just about to holler back at you." Merle replies.
"What you doing down here?" Daryl asks him. Maybe trying to get some peace and quiet like me, maybe.
"Just looking for a little uh– crystal meth." Merle replies like it was obvious. Crystal Meth in a prison? You'd have more luck squeezing water from a stone. "Yeah, I know. I shouldn't mess my– my life up when everything is going so sweet, right?" He laughs.
"You talk to Rick yet?" Daryl asks, ignoring his brother's comment about drugs.
"Yeah, oh yeah." Merle replies with an upbeat tone, "I'm in. But he ain't got the stomach for it. He's going to buckle. You know that, right?" What? He doesn't have the stomach for what?
"Yeah." Daryl replies, his voice soft, "If he does, he does."
"You want him to?" Merle asks. Want him to do what? I need these answers. I need details. There's silence for a few moments.
"Whatever he says goes." Daryl stands his ground and defends Rick's decisions.
"Man!" I could hear the mocking in Merle's tone, "Do you even possess a pair of balls, little brother? Are they even attached? I mean, if they are, they belong to you? You used to call people like that sheep. What happened to you?"
"What happened with you and Glenn and Maggie, with- with Kaia." Daryl answers him.
"I've done worse." Merle's tone becomes a bit more condescending, "You need to grow up. Things are different now. Y'all people look at me like I'm the devil."
"Nah, Kai, she stood up for you against Andrea." Daryl tells his brother.
"Grabbing up those lovebirds like that. Shooting ya' girl like that, huh?" Merle's voice changes to something a bit harsher as he chooses his words, "Now y'all wanna do the same damn thing I did, snatch someone up and deliver them to the Governor. Just like me." Snatch who up? Who is this person? "Hell. People do what they gotta do or they die."
"Can't do things without people anymore man." Daryl stays calm. Merle makes a loud breath out of his nose in disagreement.
"Like you couldn't be out on the road without caring about that girl." Merle replies back, nastily, "Maybe these people need somebody like me around, huh? Do their dirty work. The bad guy. Hell, maybe that's how it is then, huh? How does that hit you?"
"I just want my brother back." Daryl says quietly. My heart hurts for him as I know how it feels. His brother was here but he wasn't the same.
"I'm here man." Merle rejects Daryl's attempt at being heartfelt. Silence fills the room for a few moments before one set of footsteps leave the room. I stay still as I wait for the other one to leave. I breathe in quietly and a piece of dust enters my nose causing it to itch. Don't sneeze. No, don't. I can't let them know I heard all of that. Maybe I should just show myself and hope they won't be annoyed that I was listening. Hell? Am I crazy? I can't do that. In an attempt to hold my sneeze, I try to bring my hand up to pinch my nose but I fail. I breathe in another bit of dust and my nose gives way to let a sneeze out. Achoo! I wouldn't be surprised if that sneeze was heard in China.
I pull my knees up against my chest and hope they ignore it or didn't hear it. "Who's that?" A southern voice calls out and for a moment I can't tell if it's Daryl's or Merle's. I take a deep breath and decide to show myself or this may go worse. Best to be honest. Standing up, I come out from my hiding space and I'm met with those piercing blue eyes. I would've been happier to see Merle if I was to be honest. "What don't I know." I don't ask, I demand answers.
"Ya' know it's rude to eavesdrop." He says bluntly.
"Yeah and it's rude to keep secrets." I replied.
"It's even ruder to listen in on people's secrets. This has nothing to do with you, none of it. So go run along to your little boyfriend and give him a smooch or whatever the hell ya' do." Daryl shoots back.
"Oh, shut up. Get over it. Am I supposed to sit up knitting a fucking sweater waiting for you to come back? I moved on. Things change when someone leaves." I shout, "I didn't even want him. But you fucked off and ruined everything. I fucking hate you."
"I hate you right back." He swings his arm, "Your stupid little angel eyes. Your fucking stupidity. Your stupid clothes. Your humour. I fucking hate ya more. I hate when you go and do stupid shit to get hurt. It's like you wanna get killed. I asked Rick to keep it a secret from you because you'd go and be fucking wonder woman and go after the Governor yourself."
He takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his growing hair so harshly I'm shocked he didn't yank out a tonne. "Ya' just drive me fucking crazy." He steps closer to me and I could still see him shake with rage. "You drive me nuts, ya know that?" He stands closer to me and I take a step back, coming in contact with the wall. His body was close to mine. I could feel his staggered breathing as he looked down at me. Our faces were inches apart and he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them.
He goes to take a step back but suddenly my hand is curled into the bottom of his top, pulling him to me. His breath hitches as he grabs my hips pulling me closer to him. Before I could react, his lips crashed into mine. The kiss was harsh and demanding as his hand travelled down to my ass. I throw my arms over his shoulders as he pulls me up and my legs wrap around his waist. He grazed his tongue against my lower lip causing me to moan softly into the kiss.
His hands gripped my ass as he pushed his hips against me, almost grinding into me. Pulling me away from the wall, he slams a bunch of stuff onto the floor from the wooden unit and places me on top of it. My hands travel to his hair as our kiss intensifies as I feel him against me. His lips leave mine for a moment and I almost feel bare without them on me. But he moves his lips down my chin then onto my neck where he kisses softly causing me to moan softly. I move my head to the side to allow more access for him.
This was not the Daryl I knew. The Daryl I knew was emotionally unavailable and cautious. But the man I knew right now was confident and emotionally charged. There were many times I had dreamt about this. Maybe what, a thousand times. I had never thought of him as someone so confident with what he was doing but I didn't care. His body was soft under my touch as he brought his lips back to my mouth. He was firm and harsh against my lips as if he had been craving this. My body feels like jelly against him as he pulls my body closer to him causing me to grind against him again.
"Oh my God." Someone's voice pulls us out of our trance. Daryl slams away from me quickly and I jump off the unit, fixing my hair. Holding the unit, I helped myself stand properly and I felt my face turn red as my chest pounds fast trying to calm down. We stand far apart as we snap our heads to the one at the door. Carol stands there shocked for a moment with one hand covering her mouth. She slams the door with a bang as she bolts off down the tombs.
Daryl rubs a hand harshly down his face and then looks at me momentarily before rushing off into the tombs after Carol. Rushing my hands over my face, I wipe under my eyes before sliding down the wall. "Fuck sake." I mutter under my breath. The amount of times that moment had been imagined in my head since I first met him and it happened so quickly. Shit, what about Ash? A huge pit fills my stomach as I dread what to tell the man who thinks we are together. What the hell is wrong with me?
Walking through the tombs, I pushed my way into the cell blocks again where others were getting ready and littering the place to make it seem like we didn't occupy this space. Ash stands next to Charlie who is showing him a gun as if it was the coolest thing ever. I tap Ash on the shoulder and he turns his head to look at me. "Can I speak to you for a moment?" I ask him. He nods and begins to move away from Charlie, who was looking at me with suspicion. I gave him a look to tell him I would tell him later and he nodded.
I guide Ash outside with me and we stand in the blazing sun in silence for a few moments. "I.." I try to start but my stomach throbs as my nerves grow. I turn to the side and rub the beads of sweat about to run down my face.
Ash places a hand on my cheek and turns me towards him, "What's wrong?"
I take a deep breath and decide to have some balls to just say what I need to say. "I don't think I can do this anymore." I mutter.
"Do what?" A look of worry takes over Ash's expression.
"My friend spoke to me and they made me think about a few things. About us." I start, "Everything with you has been nice but- but I don't think I can be good to you. Back at the start, it meant something to me a lot more than I think it does now." Taking a deep breath again, Ash looks at me with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he tries to make sense of what I'm trying to say. "What I'm saying is-"
"You don't want to be with me." He finishes my sentence. I stay silent for a moment before slowly nodding. Ash takes a step back as he rushes a hand through his hair and sighs. "You want to break up." He says.
"I didn't know we ever were together." I tell him, "But a friend made me realise that I don't feel the same way you do and it's not fair for you. So if you no longer want to help us out here, I completely understand."
"Who made you realise?" He shoves his hands in his pockets as he stares at me.
"Glenn gave me a reality check but-" I cut myself off as I hear Rick and Daryl a few feet away from us. Ash catches me looking at Daryl and he realises. I turn back to look at Ash and he takes a step back.
"Him?" He asked me, but I didn't need to reply. "I'm still going to help you. Miles would've wanted me to." He remembered.
"Thank you." I smile and hug him lightly, "Thank you for everything." He nods and returns my hug for a few moments. Letting go, I smiled up at him before walking over to Rick, who looked uneasy. "Evening, Sheriff." I salute him and his face doesn't falter from the uneasiness.
"I need to tell you something." He tells me.
"I know about it. Daryl said." I let him know and he tilted his head.
"You're on speaking terms now?" Rick asks with genuine curiosity. Speaking or maybe even kissing terms. A smile plays on my lips as I think back to the room.
"Yeah, kinda." I tell him with a small smile.
"Can I ask you a favour then?" Rick asks.
"Anything." I nod.
"Merle took Michonne. Daryl's out there trying to find him before he gets himself killed." Rick informs me. Of course Merle had to take things into his own hands to feel like he was helping. "Make sure he gets back in one piece."
Nodding, I run over to the gates and throw myself into a car. I shout over to Glenn and Carl to open the gates. They do as I say and open the gates up. Revving the engine, I took off down a route which was pretty much the only way out of here. I rush down the roads in the car bypassing walkers who tried to bang onto the car to get to me. A few miles ahead, I spot those dark locks of hair that belonged to Michonne and I sigh. Where the fuck is Merle? Making a stop, I hop out of the car and Michonne looks up to me silently.
"Where is he?" I ask and she nods forwards, giving me some rough directions. "You going back?" I shift my weight to my other foot. Michonne just nods. Bending over the driver's seat, I pull a gun out of the compartment in between the two front seats and then hand it to her. "Get back safe." I order her and she nods again before taking the gun. Hopping back into the car, I look at Michonne through the open window.
"Merle said he had to do something." She tells me, "Head towards Woodbury maybe a few miles out."
"Thank you." I nod before taking off. I look around hastily as I look for signs of Daryl. Pulling up to an abandoned work sight, I throw myself out of the car and grip my axe in my hand. A walker staggers towards me and I slam my axe against it making sure to stay silent. I stay close to the walls of the buildings making sure to stay out of sight in case someone was here that could kill me. Suddenly, I step on a twig and my heart beats in my throat. Fuck. I push myself up against a wall as I hear someone or something begin to approach me. Pulling my gun out, my hands tremble as I try to steady myself for who was coming around the corner.
Slamming past the corner, I lift my gun up to the face of who was in front of me and I get greeted with a crossbow. Daryl. I take a breath of relief and lower my weapon. "What the hell are ya' doing here?" Daryl complains.
"Make sure you're alright." I told him. He shakes his head and continues his walk. I follow him to the middle of the buildings where a patch of grass was filled with dead people and a walker feasting. Daryl shoots it with his crossbow and goes to collect his arrow but he stops in his tracks. Another walker sits on the ground gnawing on a dead body. But this was no usual walker, it had a mechanical arm. As it looks up my suspicions are confirmed. Merle.
"Daryl." I say softly as I try to shield him from his dead brother. But he pushes me away with a sob. Merle stands up slowly and begins to make his way over to Daryl. Daryl cowers back as the walker gets closer before pushing him away with force. His cries hurt my heart as he pushes his brother back again. Merle gave us a chance and died while doing it. Daryl climbs on top of walker Merle and yells as he slams his knife into his head again and again and again.
I silently put a hand onto his shoulder, "Daryl. Hey." He continues to bang his knife into Merle before dropping it on the floor. Collapsing backwards, he falls into my lap as his sobs become louder. I had never seen Daryl Dixon show many emotions but this was definitely the first time I had ever seen him cry. He wraps his arms around me as he buries his head in my lap, concealing himself from me but also seeking comfort.
I caress his hair as he cries into me. Merle was dead.