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This chapter may be triggering to some, mentions of different forms of abuse and trauma.
Read at your own discretion
Now I don't know what Liliana's past is like but the way she acted in the car made me realise it can't be good, which I knew as the article of her fathers prison sentence was out in the world but it never did say what he went in for.
32 years though, it has to be pretty bad. None of their family talk about it, Landon just says he hope he rots in a cell for the rest of his life.
It's obviously brought a shit ton of trauma onto Lil because she barely made it to the front door without collapsing.
Now she's just standing there shaking, I wrapped a blanket around her waiting for Ana to return with some Pyjamas for her.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry you can take me home." She repeats, I don't know how to help her, I just want to help her. Please god let me fucking help her.
"Hey, you aren't going home. You are safe here, are you comfortable staying with Ana tonight?" I'd offer her to stay with me but she might think I'm taking advantage of her.
"You. Please can I stay with you. I love Ana but you. Please don't leave not yet." Her eyes show no emotion. Liliana just stares into space still in shock or panic or something.
"Okay come on let's start walking upstairs." She doesn't move so I keep an eye on her as I slowly walk into the kitchen to get a cookie or something just so Liliana doesn't die of alcohol poisoning and so my conscience knows she's eaten at least something.
Liliana slowly stops shaking and Ana closes the blanket around her more tightly. Right I can get some proper food for her now Ana is close by.
Fuck, where to start?
The fridge gets raided every night by me and Ana but tonight it's for Liliana, certainly not how I imagined her spending her first night with me here but I'll take it because I'd do anything to help her.
Now I'm panicking.
"Issac, I'm going to get her dressed here. Don't come out for a second." Ana shouts from the hallway.
"Okay I won't."
As much as I love that girls body it's not the time or place to be imagining her or seeing her like that.
I need to focus on getting food and getting her to bed.
The butter and cheese, oo ham too just in case she's crazy and doesn't like cheese. I clutch the bread rushing to the knife draw and start spreading the butter.
Ana walks in with Liliana awfully slow. She sits in a dining chair, she's stopped shaking and is now just looking really drunk and tired.
"I have flashbacks. Bad ones but I'm back in lucid now." She pulls Ana's pyjama bottoms down a little which make stomach show, she's also wearing a white t shirt which fits her quite perfectly.
"I— I'm sorry we didn't know what to do, you—you asked to stay here but I can drive you home if you've changed your mind?" Why is now the time I stumble over my words.
Flashbacks. Did that fucking asshole hurt her?
"If it's okay I'd like to stay, if they happen once they will most likely happen again." Her voice is quiet and you would not be able to recognise her personality if you only knew the Liliana I knew before tonight.
"Of course you can stay here. The guest bedroom can be set up for you now." Ana smiles sliding her black heels off.
"I don't— I— please can I stay with you." Her head slightly nods towards me and my heart beats at 40mph.
She's choosing to stay with me? Is this really happening right now?
"Of course you can... Please tell me you're a cheese lover." I tilt my head back and sprinkle some cheese into my mouth trying to make this conversation a little more happier.
Liliana stands up and walks her beautiful little self over towards me taking a handful of cheese and placing it on her tongue.
This is not the time to be sexy for fuck sake.
"Well lovebirds, I'm going to bed shout me if you need anything. I mean it." Ana points between me and Liliana as we both scowl at her.
Liliana decided she didn't want sandwiches and is now making me watch her eat boxed Mac n cheese at 3.45 am.
The things you do for the girl you like.
"Do you want some?" She smiles softly, I know she doesn't want to give me any so it's a good job I actually don't want any.
Don't piss off hungry women.
"I'm okay pretty girl. Once you've finished we can go to bed hmm?" The pretty girl honestly slipped out, Liliana could see the panic on my face.
"Yes, bed sounds good." Her little giggle makes me want to record her every single movement she makes and have it as my alarm, ringtone and all my Spotify playlists.
The hold she has on me.
"Are you sure you want to stay with me?" Her fork sets down telling me she's finished.
"I'd like that, I just don't want to be alone. If I'm alone my father always makes his appearances in my head and in my dreams. Being with someone normally solves that."
I genuinely think my heart just broke again. The tone of her voice tells me that those dreams are the only reason she's here tonight. But a part of me hopes it's also because she wants to be.
"I'll always be here Liliana. I know it's not the greatest of times to mention this but one day when you decide to forgive me for the way I acted that night, I promise you I will not leave your side until one of us is on our fucking death bed.
No matter how much you hate me you shall never get rid of me. Now how does sleep sound?"
Liliana's face had dropped, she didn't expect those words from me. Especially not tonight.
"Issac." She stands up and holds out her hand for me to take but I hesitate because I can't tell if she's fucking with me or not. "I forgive you."
Before I could say anything Liliana tuts and grabs my arm placing my hand in hers. "Come on stupid." Still my sassy girl even when she's not feeling good.
"Yes ma'am."
"Don't push it." She laughs while walking up the stairs.
This was not what I expected when Ana told me to come pick her up tonight. Because it's gone from her being drunk, traumatised, tired, hungry, now mostly sober yet still in shock while walking to my bedroom with me.
"Of course it's mostly black." She softly smirks and if she wasn't so tired and a little broken right now I'd push her.
Liliana's eyes are all puffy, makeup barely surviving slightly messy hair and a beautiful smile.
"This t shirt is really itchy what Ana gave me." She's going to give herself a rash if she continues.
"Shit Ana uses a different wash powder to you, that may be why."
"—how do you know what wash powder I use?"
"Because I saw you buy it one time, you know the time you were out of town?" I didn't mention it before because she was still super mad at me but when her grandparents were here my mother made me go to the store for something when I saw her.
Looking all perfect and shit, I remember the exact dress she was wearing.
It had green and blue swirls on a plain white background. She looked beautiful, just as always.
"So you know I lied—"
"I know you had every right too. I was an ass."
I hand Liliana one of my t shirts and then turn around. "I won't look, I promise."
"Thank you."
We have been staring at each other for the past ten minutes. Every so often she will smile and start to laugh before holding a straight face again.
"Bed time darling." I quickly dash over to her before she can move and scoop her up carrying her to my bed bridal style.
Liliana let's out a yelp before bursting out into laughter, but it's quiet and soft like she doesn't want to wake anyone.
There's only Ana in the house, my parents are away for the weekend but it's the dinner with my father tomorrow so they will be back early.
Maybe Lil will meet him a little earlier than planned.
Carefully I place Liliana into bed and place the duvet over her curled up body.
"Would you prefer if I kept my shirt on?"
"It's your house, do what makes you feel comfortable."
Stop being so perfect. Stop making it so difficult for me to stay away.
I slip my shirt over my shoulders, watching Liliana stare at me is like watching the world worship you.
I could stand like this all night if it mean her looking at me with those big green eyes.
Once I'm in bed, Lil turns to me with the prettiest smile on her face.
"What if you regret this in the morning?"
The only thing I will regret is not being able to help her anymore than I could.
"You should know I'd not regret anything to do with you." I whisper brushing her hair from her face.
"Really?"
"Really darling."
"The flashbacks, I bet you are wondering what they are." Liliana's voice is quiet and it breaks halfway through her sentence.
"Yes, but I don't need to know. It's your story and hopefully one day you trust me enough to tell me." My hand makes small movements on her face.
"My father got sentenced to 32 years for physical and sexual abuse." Her words make my skin turn cold, I have so many questions but the fact she just told me that means she does trust me. And I would hate to ruin that by pushing her.
"Me, Landon and Lewis. Lewis got away when he was 25 but then Landon got it once Lewis left. My father decided two kids weren't enough so he started with me too."
"Lil, I— there's nothing I can say that will change what he did but fuck me I wish there was." I'm lost, my minds working at a thousand miles per hour.
My heart hurts for all three of them.
Sexual abuse.
That cunt is so lucky he is locked up because I'm not a violent man but when it comes to Liliana Quinn, I'd hurt anyone who even looked at her the wrong way.
"It's okay, it's just something I have to deal with. I wanted you to know because you deserve to know. I'm technically your girlfriend after all.—" "—fake of course."
"Now isn't the time for jokes sweetheart." My thumb drags the tear away from her eye. And her hand reaches for my face also.
"Don't cry. Issac it's in the past. You weren't there to stop him. It's in the past."
I can't help but let the tears keep falling while looking at her. How has she pulled through this last year. Her whole life.
"Please don't cry. You are my present and future now, let's focus on that now."
Fuck. That's something. Now the tears fall of the happiness.
We are both sat staring at each other while silently crying. It's oddly comforting.
•••
IM SORRY IT HAD TO BE DONE.
Ana I see you about to type a message cursing me for the rollercoaster. 👀
Thank you for reading <3