"The skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up."
Cowboy Like Me - Taylor Swift
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LUCINDAS POV
With a gasp, I woke up, the weight of panic pressing down on my chest. Rapidly, I pushed myself upright, desperation driving me to inhale as much air as I could. But the sensation of suffocation left my body as I realised I wasn't in the drop ship anymore, where I had last fought against the numbing cold of the ground.
"Lu, relax," A familiar voice broke through the haze of my disorientation. My eyes snapped to the source, finding Bellamy's concerned gaze fixed on me as he made his way across his dimly lit tent.
"What happened?" I asked, my mind struggling to piece together the gaps in my memory.
"After you passed out we managed to find a cure in time." Bellamy informed me, though his words only made more questions arise in my mind, I knew he was leaving out significant details. You've been asleep since."
"How long have I been out?" I asked swinging my legs over the side of his bed as he stood beside me.
"Around half a day." Bellamy informed as my eyes widened.
"Oh god... Finn is he?" I asked, my voice catching with worry as I slipped on my boots.
"He's fine." Bellamy reassured me, and a wave of relief washed over me as I nodded, my mind momentarily eased. But Bellamy's halted my movements as I neared the exit to his tent.
"Slow down, you need to rest." Bellamy insisted as I turned back to face him, my brows raised in amusement at his persistence. A soft chuckle escaped my lips before I made my way out of his tent. I quickly made my way towards the drop ship, my heart pounding with a mix of relief and apprehension. I had to check on Finn, to see with my own eyes that he was okay. As I entered the drop ship, my gaze immediately found Finn sitting beside Clarke.
"Oh Finn," I exclaimed, rushing to his side and engulfing him in a tight hug. He chuckled softly, returning the embrace. "I thought I'd lost you."
"Come on Cindy, can't get rid of me that easily." Finn replied with a light chuckle, his arms tightening around me as if to reassure both of us of his presence. We held each other for a moment longer, the weight of fear and relief mingling in the air between us. Then, I leaned back to face him, a smile breaking through the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. With a playful slap to his chest, I scolded him.
"You scared the shit out of me Collins! Don't do that again." I laughed with tears slightly brimming my eyes.
"Yeah, well you did save my life the very first time we met. Let's just say I had to repay the favour." Finn smiled mischievously as I laughed as I remembered our first encounter, the adrenaline-fueled chaos of the descent to Earth. I chuckled, shaking my head fondly at the memory.
"You're insane."
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After Clarke, checked up on my stitches I decided to figure out how Bellamy acquired the cure, details he conveniently left out. Determination burning in my chest, I made my way up the drop ship ladder to the top floor. As I made my way through the hatch, I spotted Miller sitting across from the grounder, keeping watch. The man hung slightly shaking from exhaustion, his bloodied body stained with cuts and bruises that littered his body.
"Cindy, I'm so glad you're okay." Miller smiled rushing up to embrace me which I returned.
"Thanks, Mill." I replied with a smile that fell from my face as I looked toward the beaten and bruised grounder. "Who did this to him?"
"Bellamy." Miller replied as I inhaled sharply, taking in the pain Bellamy had caused this man. "But he was just trying to save you Cindy."
"Can I have a minute with him?" I asked, ignoring his plead for Bellamy and noting the torn expression on his face.
"Bellamy will kill me if he finds out." Miller replied running through his hands through his hair.
"Then it'll have to stay between you and I." I assured him, a small smile tugging at my lips as I guided Miller towards the ladder, which he obliged with a reluctant nod. Alone with the grounder, I turned my attention to him, noting the stoic expression on his face. As I approached with a spare rag in hand, I sought permission, my words hanging in the tense silence.
"Do you mind if I?" I gestured towards the rag, but the grounder remained silent, his gaze fixed on some distant point. Sighing, I began the task of wiping away the blood from his wounded face.
"If Bellamy did this to you, I'm sorry. I promise he's not a bad person if that means anything to you." I murmured, trying to bridge the gap between us and the grounder who had suffered at Bellamy's hands, all in the name of protection. Part of me felt guilty knowing the grounder endured this torture at the hands of Bellamy trying to protect me. But if the roles were reversed I'm not sure I could promise I wouldn't do the same.
"I've got a pretty strong feeling you can speak English. Honestly, playing dumb is a good strategy I'd do the same." I spoke with a hint of amusement in my tone as I sought to break through the facade of silence. And then, I caught the subtle twitch of Lincoln's lips, a ghost of a smile that betrayed his stoic facade.
"I knew it." I grinned, a sense of satisfaction washing over me as I managed to elicit even the slightest hint of emotion from the grounder.
"I made a promise to Octavia that I would try my best to protect you, so I'll keep this to myself." I continued as I noticed the grounder nod slightly, a glimmer of trust sparked by my mention of Octavia. "Can I ask what your name is?"
"Lincoln." He replied, his voice rough and strained, yet undeniably human. My hands, mid-motion in cleaning his face, froze as I inhaled sharply, the weight of his words settling over me. Relief flooded through me, as I absorbed the significance of this revelation.
"Nice to properly meet you Lincoln. I'm Lucinda but most people call me Cindy." I replied as a small smile played at the corners of Lincoln's lips.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked tentatively awaiting his response before he nodded slightly. Silence hung heavy in the air before I spoke what had been playing on my mind ever since I saw his notebook.
"In your journal, the portrait of me had a word written beneath it. Haiplana..." I spoke slowly, I feared I was pushing my luck, probing into territories that should be left untouched. However, Lincoln nodded slightly urging me to continue.
"What does it mean?" I asked anxiously awaiting his response, part of me was anxious I wouldn't like his answer. Lincoln remained silent for a moment, then, with a sigh he finally spoke.
"In my language Haiplana means Queen." Lincoln replied which only urged more questions as I frowned at his response, my brows furrowing as I struggled to make sense of the revelation. He noticed my confusion before he continued to explain the word's correlation to me.
"In our culture, Haiplana is more than just a title. It's a symbol of leadership, courage, beauty. The Haiplana is the one that a tribe follows and respects. After watching the camp, I understood you were the Haiplana of your tribe. Lucinda kom Skaikru the Haiplana." Lincoln explained, his voice calm yet filled with conviction. I felt a lump form in my throat at his words, a swell of emotion threatening to overwhelm me. As the weight of his words settled over me, I felt a sense of purpose burning within me, a determination to rise to the challenge and prove myself worthy of the title that he had bestowed upon me.
"That's beautiful, I don't know what to say... Thank you, Lincoln." I stuttered feeling emotion overwhelm me as Lincoln's words ignited a sense of validation that I had long yearned for. I've spent my whole life trying to prove my worth and make those around me proud. So for a stranger to notice and commend my efforts... To me, that was everything I'd worked so hard to achieve.
"Lucinda, Clarke wants to talk to you." Miller's voice cut through the moment between Lincoln and me, his head popping up from the hatch. Redirecting my attention to Lincoln, I offered him a nod of gratitude before his former gentle expression reverted to its usual firmness upon Miller's arrival on the upper level. As I made my way outside the drop ship I spotted Clarke walking towards the drop ship.
"Clarke, what's up?" I asked as we stood outside the drop ship.
"I just got off a call with my Mum and she said Kane wants to speak with you. I know you two never had the best relationship but-" Clarke started before I burst into laughter, unable to contain my amusement at her understatement regarding my feelings toward my father.
"Nope, fuck that." I replied defiantly, crossing my arms stubbornly over my chest. After Lincoln's words of reassurance, I realised I no longer felt the need to prove anything to my father. A younger version of myself would've leapt at the opportunity to prove to him that I'd survived, that I'd managed to conquer the earth on my own. But now, after everything I've been through, I didn't need anyone's approval or validation. I've managed so far by myself and that's enough for me.
"Ugh, I really need to get out of camp for a bit. I feel like I'm suffocating in here." I spoke turning to Clarke as she turned to me with a wide-eyed expression.
"Funny you say that. My Mum also happened to mention that the Ark found some old records showing a supply depot not far from here. I don't want to leave Finn and I was wondering if-" Clarke began, her voice trailing off as I eagerly caught on.
"Say no more, I'm in." I replied with a surge of enthusiasm, eager to venture out of camp. I quickly shrugged on my jacket and began making my way towards my tent in search of a weapon.
"Wait, there's one more thing." Clarke interrupted, halting me in my tracks as I turned back to face her.
"You have to take Bellamy with you."
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As Bellamy and I made our way through the dense undergrowth of the forest, the only sound that broke the silence was the occasional rustle of leaves underfoot. My footsteps felt heavy, weighed down by the burden of what had seen earlier. The memory of the tortured grounder, strung up, wounded after Bellamy's torture gnawed at my conscience. I felt a sinking realisation that the lines between right and wrong had blurred in our desperate struggle for survival.
"I saw what you did to the grounder." I broke the silence, consciously leaving Lincoln's name out of my sentence knowing it would only enrage Bellamy further. His body immediately stiffened beside me.
"I did what had to be done." Bellamy replied shortly as I scoffed immediately at his response.
"Oh, you just had to torture an innocent man." I replied before Bellamy stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide in anger as I turned back to face him.
"Innocent? You can't be serious Lu, he tried to kill you! What was I supposed to do? Just sit there and watch you die?" Bellamy snapped as I remained silent for a moment, taking in his words. With nothing to say I turned to continue walking before Bellamy's words cut me off.
"I don't regret it for a second... I'd choose your life over someone else's any day." Bellamy replied as I stood with my back facing him, his words hung in the air, sinking deep into my mind. I felt suddenly overwhelmed by his declaration. Never before had anyone in my life prioritised me the way Bellamy had since we'd landed on Earth. His words tugged at something deep within me, stirring emotions I hadn't dared acknowledge. Turning slowly to face him, I met Bellamy's gaze, finding a genuine expression covering his expression.
"What is it?" Bellamy asked, breaking the silence as I stood lost for words with my lips slightly agape. I swallowed thickly before mustering my thoughts into a sentence.
"It's just... I, uh... I've never had someone look out for me before." I stuttered as the words spilled from my lips, I watched as a flicker of surprise passed over Bellamy's features, his expression momentarily faltering. He nodded slightly, a silent acknowledgment of the understanding that had just been shared between us.
Without a word, Bellamy closed the distance between us until he was walking beside me. And then, in a gesture that caught me off guard, he reached out and took my hand in his, his touch was warm. Passing back and forth rations of fruits and nuts, we continued on our hunt for the bunker, the comfortable silence wrapping around us. With each step, Bellamy's strong hand guided me forward.
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Eventually, after navigating through the forest, we emerged into a small clearing. My hand reluctantly released Bellamy's, as I reached behind me and retrieved the worn map from my back pocket. Unravelling the map I quickly skimmed over it while examining our surroundings.
"The bunker should be around here." I broke the silence as Bellamy nodded, continuing to walk further into the clearing.
"Okay, let's split up so we can cover more ground. Stay close." Bellamy replied as I nodded before heading in the opposite direction to search for any signs of a door to this mysterious bunker. I combed through the underbrush, parting tall grasses and nudging aside overgrown bushes, my eyes scanning for any hint of the hidden entrance.
We spent a decent amount of time uncovering grass, weeds and bushes only to come up short. I was beginning to think we'd been sent to find a dead end before I noticed the light catch onto something in my peripheral vision. I quickly rushed towards the shiny object, kneeling beside a weathered metal handle half-buried beneath a tangle of vines and weeds. I brushed away the weeds that had grown to cover the metal hatch as a grin spread across my face.
"Bellamy! Found it!" I called out before gripping the handle tightly, feeling the cool metal beneath my fingertips. Mustering all the strength I had I tried my best to quickly yank the door open but I groaned as the door didn't budge an inch. With another weak attempt to yank the door open Bellamy had made his way beside me, watching my struggle.
"Step aside princess." Bellamy chuckled teasingly, as I scoffed at the derogatory nickname.
"It's queen to you." I replied with raised brows before stepping aside as Bellamy took my place. I watched as his strong hands gripped the handle. My eyes trailed up his veiny upper arm before latching onto his tanned bicep. Slut, I thought to myself before shaking my gaze back to the task at hand. With an intoxicatingly smooth, effortless motion, Bellamy pulled the door open, revealing the darkness that lurked within. He turned to face me a wide grin spread across his face, clearly chuffed that he had beaten me.
Bellamy began to descend into the depths of the hatch, disappearing into the enveloping darkness below. I followed closely behind before pulling out two torches as I reached the bottom. The light cast eerie shadows against the cobwebbed walls, revealing layers of dust and neglect that had accumulated over decades of abandonment. The air felt thick with decay, suffocating in its intensity. And then, my light shone over a decomposed corpse slumped against the far wall, its hollow gaze fixed upon me.
Instinctively, I stepped back in horror until I felt the solid warmth of Bellamy's chest against my back. He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. his grip firm yet gentle as he positioned himself in front of me.
"Hell of a place to die..." Bellamy murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, yet sent a shiver down my spine. Together, we ventured further into ominous darkness as the smell of decomposing bodies and rotting mould saturated the air.
"So much for living down here, this place is disgusting." I sighed, my voice tinged with disappointment as the reality of our surroundings sank in. The once-promising refuge was now buried beneath layers of decay. Any hopes of finding salvation within its confines dwindled with each passing moment.
As we began searching through the bunker we were left short as we turned over endless empty boxes and discarded barrels. Eventually, I lifted another lid, half-expecting to find it empty like the countless others before it. But to my surprise, a pile of neatly folded blankets greeted my eyes.
"Guess what, I found blankets. Maybe we can try smothering the grounders to death." I joked unenthusiastically before Bellamy sighed.
"How about a canteen? Or a med kit? Or a decent fucking tent?" Bellamy shouted out into the abyss, a desperate plea for anything to help us. In a fit of frustration, Bellamy kicked over one of the nearby barrels, its liquid contents spilling out onto the ground. But amidst the chaos, something caught our attention, the unmistakable sound of metal clashing against metal.
Rushing to investigate, I joined Bellamy's side at the fallen barrel as he lifted a rifle. He turned to face me with a wide grin as a surge of excitement coursed through me, I let out a loud squeal, unable to contain my joy. Jumping up and down in excitement, Bellamy's grin mirrored my own as he enveloped me in a tight embrace, lifting me off the ground in his arms. For a moment, I felt like everything was going to be okay within the safety of his arms. For a moment on earth, I felt safe.
"This changes everything," I exclaimed, the words bursting from me as I leaned out from Bellamy's embrace. He gently set me back onto the ground, his hands lingering for a moment before he straightened up.
"We're lucky they were packed in grease. We're not sitting ducks anymore," Bellamy remarked, his tone carrying a mix of relief and determination as he stooped to retrieve two rifles, extending one toward me.
"Let me show you how to use these," Bellamy offered, but I couldn't help but let out a laugh, unable to contain my amusement.
"Oh Bells, I think you're forgetting I'm the daughter of the head of the guard. If I know anything, I know how to shoot a fucking gun," I replied, the teasing tone evident in my voice as I accepted the rifle and brought it up to my shoulder.
As I prepared my aim, I noticed a distant tin can perched atop an old barrel, a perfect target. Feeling Bellamy's presence behind me, his breath warm against the back of my neck, I tried my best to focus, blocking out any distractions. With a steady hand, I fired, the shot echoing through the air. The bullet knocked the tin can right off the barrel, piercing through the centre, the perfect shot.
The rush of adrenaline was exhilarating, with the combination of Bellamy's presence my skin prickled with goosebumps as I revelled in the feeling. Behind the gun, I felt a sense of complete control, a knowledge of the outcome. It was a feeling I'd craved my whole life, especially now with the uncertainty of the ground.
"Jesus Christ... I don't know whether to be scared or turned on right now." Bellamy joked, his laughter tinged with a hint of shock as I turned back to face him, a grin spreading across my lips. "You'll need to teach Octavia to shoot like that."
"Why? She's got you for that." I replied, a frown spreading across my face knowing Bellamy would be the first to step in line to help by any means to protect his sister. I watched as Bellamy averted his eyes from mine, a nervous gesture that didn't go unnoticed. He ran his hand through his hair anxiously, and a sense of unease settled over me.
"What's going on? What aren't you telling me?" I pressed, my voice firm as I sought answers from him as turned to face me, his expression stained by guilt.
"Lu... I have to run." Bellamy's voice was strained, his eyes searching mine for understanding. My heart plummeted at the realisation of what he was saying. A rush of emotions flooded through me, but there was a surprising sensation of something else, something I hadn't expected. A sense of longing, of desperation at the mere thought of Bellamy not being by my side. "The Ark is coming down soon and they'll kill me for shooting Jaha. I don't have a choice."
"So you're not even going to try to speak to Jaha?" I spoke softly, the words catching in my throat as I fought to keep my emotions in check.
"I shot the chancellor... They're either going to kill me or lock me up for the rest of my life." Bellamy pleaded for understanding, but I couldn't help but shake my head slightly, unable to accept the reality of what he was telling me.
"So you're just going to leave me?" My voice cracked slightly as I looked up at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him to reconsider, to find another way. Bellamy's expression softened at my words, a flicker of pain crossing his features. Surprisingly, I found myself shocked by my own emotions. It was unlike me to care, to feel so vulnerable.
"I don't have a choice... Those kids adore you, you have to keep running the camp. But once the Ark comes down, I'll find you. We can run away Lu. Away from your Dad, from the Ark, from everything. It'll be just you and me. I promise." Bellamy proposed, his voice tinged with desperation as he reached out to touch my arm. However, I stepped back, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within me.
"Bell-I... I need to think this through..." I stuttered, my voice barely above a whisper as I struggled to find words but Bellamy gave me a reassuring nod.
"It's okay, I understand. I'll give you some space." He replied softly, his voice a gentle reassurance. With one last glance, he turned and made his way toward the bunker's exit, his footsteps echoing in the silence that followed. I stood still, watching him walk away from me with a sense of longing and uncertainty gnawing at my chest. The knot that had formed tightened with each step he took, a physical manifestation of the turmoil churning within me.
As Bellamy disappeared from view, I turned away trying to shake off the heavy weight of emotions that loomed over me. His pleading words echoed in my mind, swirling in a whirlwind of confusion and doubt. A sudden dizziness swept over me, causing me to rub my eyes in a futile attempt to dispel the sensation, but it persisted, refusing to be banished.
I stumbled slightly, my limbs feeling heavy and uncoordinated as I reached out to steady myself against a nearby barrel. The cool metal pressed against my palm, grounding me in the midst of the haze threatening to consume me. Once I had managed to stabilise myself, I lifted my gaze, blinking away the haze that clouded my vision. And that's when I saw her. My mother...