warnings: nothing really!!
pairings: clarisse la rue ✘ black!fem!demigod!reader (daughter of aphrodite)
genres: friends to lovers, i hate everyone but you trope, flirty!clarisse, sad!reader, reader is described as aphrodite's favorite daughter, clarisse and reader are fools in love without realizing it, angsty start but a happy ending, detailed kissing, depictions of internalized homophobia (on reader's part)
summary: a situationship rooted in flirty glances and lingering touches overstimulated y/n's feelings for her dear friend, clarisse. until it ends up with y/n avoiding her, confusing clarisse by the sudden change and she snaps, leading her confrontation to an angsty love confession.
word count: 4.7k+
tag list: cyberrust -aurqias R3j3ct3d_bri lanascherrycolabby dinosaur_bones NewKindOfStupid Greece333333333 333shayy legallytoellie
author's note: this oneshot kinda feels mediocre i'm ngl, but i wanted to get something out for you guys. also angsty love confessions >>>
requested from a tumblr mutual!
You and Clarisse were close, closer than she ever thought you two would be. Truth be told because of Clarisse's reputation at camp half-blood, she was mostly feared or intimidated by the other campers but it seemed like you didn't care about it, and that made Clarisse intrigued about you, deeply intrigued.
With your first introduction of another fierce Ares daughter, your impression of her was a neutral view. You found her to be hostile almost always on edge, continually looking over her shoulder. Somehow your natural bond charmed Clarisse and you two became closer, understanding each other more, learning about the other's past, and soon she felt comfortable relaxing around you.
Almost every day there were certain glances were exchanged between the two of you. At first, your eyes would frantically dart everywhere and you felt your heart skip a beat whenever you met her powerful gaze. When Clarisse realizes your flustered state, she'd silently laugh and wink at you, the glint in her eyes made you lightly swoon over and rethink about later on that night. With the thought still running wild in your memory, you squeal into your pillow as you happily drift off into sleep.
In another case, you two made eye contact and invested with each other until someone eventually broke the gaze by interrupting either you or her. Whether it was a glance or stare, Clarisse had you absolutely flustered.
That girl was on your mind 24/7, and who were you to complain?
As a child of Aphrodite, you were blessed to find and experience love, discovering them even in the most unexpected ways.
Those wholesome days sent you over the moon, but as you became more self-conscious, you grew uneasy. Uneasy about yourself...uneasy about your sexuality, your whole identity. Do you like girls? There was no way that you liked girls...right? No, no, no! You couldn't like them. More importantly, you became very uneasy about who your upcoming crush unexpectedly was.
However, with those doe brunette eyes of hers, those plump lips of hers, and her electrifying touch you couldn't help but swoon over the Ares girl. She was too tempting, even more impossible to resist. You wanted her but you couldn't have her, not in the way you needed her. She was so close to you and yet you were so far.
Quick to identify some logical reason for your overthinking and it all traced back to Clarisse, somehow always revolving around her. Knowing what had to be done, you shoved all of your feelings for the curly-haired girl and treated her like a regular friend.
For the next few days, you began to distance yourself away from Clarisse, slowly each time so she wouldn't recognize the pattern and spark the curiosity in her, leading up to questions. The same questions you refused to honestly answer towards her. You were too scared to speak your true feelings and opted for the easier way. Clarisse noticed your absence from her too, and she became worried. At first, she had thought that her mean-girl reputation was too much for you to handle.
One of your powers enabled you to manipulate love and desire to your will. Your half-siblings offered to use that power on Clarisse so that she'll fall in love with you but you refused to adhere to that suggestion. You wanted her feelings to be real and of her own accord, because if you do that, your relationship with her would just be a whole faux.
Nobody guessed how truly dangerous Aphrodite's kids can become when love is involved. You can twist or bargain any kind of relationship either way, and they would be clueless about the power under them.
Now it seemed like you hated Clarisse, your actions only proving her point.
For instance, your attitude was more snarky towards her and she noticed you flinching away at her touch. Her eyebrows would furrow in confusion at your sudden switch up but still, she didn't make a fuss about it not wanting to overstep any boundaries of yours.
Surely, it wasn't a good day for you and she just managed to appear at the wrong time. Clarisse highly encouraged herself with those types of excuses for you, banishing those unwelcome thoughts of your friendship coming to a horrible end. The Ares girl felt her stomach drop at the mere thought of it, but then again, you weren't one to intentionally be mean to people, specifically to Clarisse. Yet again, she just brushed your attitude off, convincing herself of another lame excuse.
Despite Clarisse's persistent attempts to engage in conversation with you, you always manage to find a solution to escape her. Even when she tries to corner you and demand that you talk to her, you resort to sharing a silly lie before quickly scurrying away. Without a doubt, Clarisse's frustration is palpable once she realizes that she has lost you in the same manner in which she had caught you earlier. A sense of defeat permeates the air, and a deep sigh escapes her lips as she intensely watches your figure until it fades away from her eyesight. Any more excuses from you and she was determined to get a massive migraine.
Why were you refusing to talk to her? Did she do something wrong? If so, she wanted to figure out the problem and solve it. Anything for you to talk to her again. Out of everyone at this camp, Clarisse liked you, and she wasn't going to lose you over some stupid reason. The Ares girl was dedicated to talking with you, especially if that stupid reason involved the stability of your relationship, Clarisse simply refused to lose you!
But not this time, no! You were going to talk to her. You weren't leaving until she had the truth spilling from your lips, nothing but sincerity in your beautiful eyes. She was determined to make you speak to her again. Once an Ares child puts their mind to something; or in Clarisse's case: someone, nobody's able to stop them from succeeding.
Luckily, a perfect opportunity appeared when there was a monthly bonfire later that same week. The day finally arrived and Clarisse had never felt so isolated from you, this was the longest you had avoided her, and it felt like extreme hell for her.
"Hey, risse," One of Clarisse's younger brothers, Malcolm, called out to her, "Isn't that your girlfriend?" He teases, pointing a finger in the direction of your cabin.
"She's not my girlfriend, you idiot!"
"I bet you wish she was." Malcom smiles, nudging her shoulder.
"You have no idea..." she murmurs to herself.
Instantly Clarisse's eyes followed, settling into you standing at your cabin's porch, presumably waiting on your sisters. It was a warm night of the week, you just had gotten your twists redone and wore a simple shirt, pairing it off with denim shorts and black converse shoes.
Your jewelry shined, and it wasn't any random jewelry either, it was the same necklace Clarisse had forged up for you. Your necklace consisted of both of your initials, which outlined a heart with two small pieces of diamonds symmetrically down the middle.
Technically speaking, she hadn't created the pendant herself, building trinkets and things wasn't her exact criteria, and instead paid one of Hephaestus' children to make it. Although she had bad blood with most of Hephaestus' children, she pushed her pride aside and worked on being friendly for your sake.
The Ares girl held a precise intention of the pendant's detail in her head, wanting the mighty significance and appearance to last for eternity. She even went as far as to give Rebecca a poorly written sketch of the supposed necklace.
Luckily, Rebecca understood the sketch, yanking both the paper-drawn sketch and essential payment out of Clarisse's hands, hastily ushering her out of the workshop. The blonde girl gave Clarisse an estimated time, which only lasted a week, and Clarisse came to pick up the necklace gifted in a plaid dark red box.
To Clarisse, it wasn't just a necklace you wore, it was a symbol of her love for you, something that she necessarily isn't open to. It expressed her love languages through gift-giving and acts of service.
The silver pendant complimented your outfit, but then again, everything you wore complimented you in the most possible way. Clarisse's eyes never left yours, even when you walked off with your sisters to the bonfire.
There were assortments of many different foods, decorating various long dinner tables, and many buzzing campers.
You sat beside your older half-sisters, Piper and Silena, near the huge bonfire, clearly invested in the conversation as you snacked on s'mores. Sharing a close bond with your two sisters, you three did everything together, confessed your crushes, and schemed to get with them. Of course, they were very aware of your oblivious crush on the familiar Ares girl, often teasing you with knowing smirks and raised eyebrows to indicate that Clarisse was near. Only Silena and Piper had been successful, overcoming their courage to ask out their crush, and now they're both happy and content in their relationships. So it was only who remained quiet, not mouthing a word to Clarisse.
Clarisse sat a few feet apart from you, directly staring across at you. Throughout your entire conversation with your sisters, you felt her gaze lingering on you, and the intensity was burning the side of your face. It made you feel special, feel loved, feel seen by Clarisse, but this wasn't the healthy way of coping; to keep being led on. No, you were only going backward. You didn't want to go backward either, striving to move forward and only hoped that Clarisse would find it in her heart to move forward too, even if it meant leaving you behind as much as it hurt your heart.
Your eyes flicker to her and Clarisse felt her heart jump in excitement, momentarily breaking eye contact, looking down in her lap as she blushes, smiling insanely to herself.
Great, I got her to look over here! Clarisse thought, silently rejoicing.
Quickly looking up at you, her smile wavers as she realizes your attention was no longer on her, she felt a gut punch to the stomach, swallowing down her pride.
The Ares girl watches you whisper something in Piper's ear and she nods reassuringly, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. For a minute, Clarisse swore that your eyes quickly glanced over at you, guiding her to follow you. And just like that, the minute was gone and you started to walk away. Her eyes travel your figure leaving the campsite and heading towards the lake.
The Ares girl swiftly sprung up from her seat on the log, wiping off the sandy residue from her jeans, and chased on after you.
She will talk to you, and you'll be listening, whether you like it or not!
The wind blew gently, almost blowing you a kiss, giving you a serene aura, and lessening down your worries. Staring at the lake water ahead of you, it was calm for a chilly night, almost convincing for a late-night swim but you refrained from doing so, maybe another night. Your feet dragged against the sand, tiny particles collecting underneath your toes as you walked alongside the shore. You had ditched your shoes with your sisters, needing to be one with the earth, and cleansed your mind.
Your attention was captured by finding a stick and drawing in the thick sand from whatever came to mind. For a while, drawing in the sand kept you sane as your thoughts ran wild about Clarisse.
It was only when your mind had been completely consumed by her that you discarded the stick and shifted your gaze to the night sky. You breathed in the beautiful view above, sitting comfortably on the sand with your knees brought up to your chest. The stars in the sky were beautiful, not as beautiful as your Clarisse—
Stop Y/N, you left the bonfire to get Clarisse off your mind!
You did love her, platonically at first but then as you both grew older so did your progressing feelings for her. Is this really what you wanted? To avoid Clarisse for the entire time at camp until your unrequited feelings die down? Not really, but it's a risk that you're willing to take. Besides, sparing your feelings for the sake of your friendship was something you vowed to keep. You couldn't stand the thought of losing a great friendship over some mere feelings. No! You refused, your friendship with Clarisse was too precious to ruin. Crushes fade, they always do, so you should be over her in no time! Except that your love felt stronger whenever thinking or talking about her, gosh why was she so hard to get over?
Your overthinking drowned out the overwhelming sadness until you recognized the tears trickling down your face.
"Gods, you drive me so crazy, La Rue..." You sniffle, bringing your arm to your face, and wiping away the incoming tears.
Clarisse's footsteps went unnoticed as did her sudden presence. "What are you doing out all alone?"
A chill ran down your spine at the familiar voice, your eyes widened in surprise as you rushed to stand up and face her.
"Thinking about life." You honestly replied, plastering on a neutral expression, and crossing your arms. "What are you following me now?"
"Yes.." She brazenly replied, matching your energy. You scoffed at her sarcastic response, kicking the stick away, and began to walk away on the shoreline of the lake.
It was quite surprising to see Clarisse follow after you, wanting to keep track of her whereabouts so you wouldn't mysteriously disappear from her again. She had to talk to you, this was the perfect night to do so and she wasn't leaving unless you talked to her.
"It's the only way I could get you to talk to me!" She defends herself, plastering on a neutral expression.
"Hmmm....not a chance. I'm leaving!" You turned, heading towards the direction of the cabins.
"Y/N, I wanna talk this out!"
She was hot on your trail, and it only began to annoy you even further. Why can't she just leave you alone? Out of all the times she chose to be concerned, why now? The sand wasn't even making it easier for you, turning thicker with every step you take, slowing your speedy pace much to Clarisse's amusement.
"But I don't!"
Suddenly, she appears in front of you, ultimately halting any new attempts to escape her. "Okay, what crawled up your pants today, why are you being extra bitchy towards me?"
"I'm extra bitchy today?" You repeat her words, scowling as you do so.
"Yeah, you are and normally I'd find it completely hot or usually I'm more bitchier than you," she explains, quirking an eyebrow, sauntering towards you. Her cocky voice wavers away as a genuine tone appears and her eyes softened, "Why have you been avoiding me for these past couple of days? Did I do or say something wrong, if so please tell me what I did wrong so I can figure this out, so we can go back to normal? I like us together."
"That's exactly why we can't go back to normal. I don't think that we'll ever be normal after this!"
"Hold up, I'm extremely confused." Clarisse backtracks, eyebrows knitted together.
As you looked at Clarisse, you felt a surge of emotion rises within you. You were angry, frustrated, and above all, helpless. "I hate the gods for making me this way!" you yelled, your voice laden with emotion. Tears started to well up in your eyes, but you quickly blinked them away, not wanting any sympathy from Clarisse right now without any interference. You knew you needed to be strong, to keep your emotions in check, but it was so hard when every fiber of your being was fighting against you.
The feeling of being unable to think clearly when in her presence was something that you strongly disliked. Even in your dreams, she appeared repeatedly, almost like a daydream that you couldn't shake off. Your mind was growing hazy, abandoned by your train of common thought, you stumble for words, and once again, embarrassing yourself in front of your crush.
"For making you what?" To be exact, Clarisse was confused by your actions. Your outburst had initially shocked her and yet she kept a straight face, keeping her guard up.
Finally mustered the courage to express your feelings, despite feeling nervous and vulnerable. You inhaled deeply, your heart was racing as you stumbled over your words, trying to convey the depth of your emotions. Eventually, you managed to blurt it out, might as well make it quick and easy, "For making me feel this way... to like you, a girl." you stuttered, your voice barely above a whisper, hesitantly glimpsing at Clarisse. The weight of your confession felt heavy on your chest, making your stomach twist and turn with remorse at your own words.
You witnessed the visible hurt displayed on Clarisse's face, and your heart ached in devastation, betrayed that you'd be the cause of her pain. The hurt was clearly written all over her face, the pain evident in her eyes which quickly vanished into a stoic expression that she uses almost instinctively. Certainly, she uses that as a mechanism and has mastered it perfectly.
For a moment, it seemed like Clarisse was about to say something, but the words didn't come out. She just stood there, silently processing the blow that had just been dealt to her. Out of all people, she didn't expect you to berate her like this, to cause her emotional pain. Clarisse would be lying if that sentence didn't strike her heart heavily as the tension grew heavy as thick fog on the coldest of nights.
Gods, it wasn't fair! Your sisters have their happy endings, so why couldn't the same happen to you? You didn't ask much from your mother, staying humble and praying to her for the simplest things, never overstepping any boundaries. You did everything that was blatantly instructed to you, and you proceeded with no further questions or complaints. Perhaps, that's why Aphrodite claimed you as her favorite child; her favorite daughter whenever she appeared in your dreams. Why is it that the one time you need your mother, she isn't here to help you? Out of all the times, why isn't she here to help her supposedly favorite daughter?!
For crying out loud, you were the daughter of Aphrodite, and yet you're here struggling to find love with the girl of your dreams. As of this moment, you felt like a complete phony right now, destined to be unrequited in love.
"And what's wrong with liking a girl?" Clarisse questioned, her tone was light with concern. Her stomach felt uneasy as she awaited your answer and gulped down her sadness. "What's wrong with liking me?" she reworded with a touch of genuine sadness. Where was all this coming from? Is this why you were avoiding her because you were discovering your feelings?
"And...what else?" The Ares girl trailed off with an arched eyebrow, desperate to be aware. Please don't leave me in suspense, Clarisse thought.
Letting out an exhausted sigh, you decided to come clean, it wouldn't matter in the end anyway. "You won't ever like me back, only truly see me as a friend and that breaks my heart beyond measure knowing that my true feelings can never be reciprocated," you explain, voice cracking between multiple words as you try to contain the tears from coming out, "Or that I've realized that I'm falling desperately in love with you so much that we can't coexist in peace."
"Shit, this was so pathetic." you blow a breath, cringing at yourself a few seconds ago. your voice betrayed you, "I feel like such a fucking idiot." Your eyes remained glued to the ground as the tears blurred your vision, unable to look Clarisse in the eye. How could you have the confidence to look at her? Not right after you just blatantly embarrassed yourself, probably for the next few months, making your friendship (even if there is still one after) more awkward than before.
"It wasn't pathetic," Clarisse shyly admits, walking closer.
Her finger touches your chin, easily lifting it and your thick eyelashes flutter at her. Your beautiful (e/c) glistened underneath the moonlight, somehow radiating the adoration you felt towards her in the moment.
"I was the idiot for not recognizing your feelings sooner." you blinked multiple times, trying to clear the tears away. This time you wiped away every tear with one final wipe of your hand.
"And if I'd known that you felt the same way, I would have asked you out a long time ago."
Her words shocked you to the core, and your heart skipped a beat, eyes immediately dilated. The surprise increased in your dilated eyes as you released a gasp. Does she return the same sentiment for you? The 'same crush is falling in love with you' type of feelings for you? This couldn't be real. Certainly, you were dreaming, right? Clarisse La Rue confesses her love for you, in a genuine tone, all without the hostility she usually gave to others.
The silence between them was palpable, but it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable - instead, it was a longing silence, for them to realize that they were both needed for each other, that they were both meant for each other. Passing the boundaries of friendship and exploring the new boundaries of a romantic loving relationship. It was scary, and you could tell Clarisse was feeling hesitant about it, weighing both of your worries.
There was a long pause, as you figured out your response to her statement. "Wait..what?"
"You heard me, sweetheart." her touch still lingers underneath your chin as you make eye contact with her. You gulped silently and shuffled on your feet awkwardly, your mind completely blank.
As Clarisse analyzed your movements thoroughly, her smirk instantly formed on her lips. You didn't fail to notice her consuming ego grow larger by the minute and you only helped encourage it.
"Do I truly make you this nervous, darling?" She bit down on her lower lip, glancing at your eyes and slowly traveling down to your plumpy lips.
Going by instinct, you shook your head agreeing with her question. All of a sudden, you regained your confidence right after and snapped out of her trance. You shove her hand away, "Stop doing that!" you seethed, anger replacing your lovesick mood.
"Doing what?" Of course, her question was rhetorical. You could tell that she was urging you to further elaborate at your own pace but was doing so without your knowledge.
"Doing that teasing 'I like you' or saying those cheesy nicknames."
"I only say those cheesy nicknames because of you."
"Can we just pretend that this didn't happen?"
Thinking that this could all be a blissful reality, where you accept your feelings for her, and Clarisse returns them. Maybe you let yourself fall deeper in love than you intended. Or maybe, just maybe this was the reality and you were hesitant to acknowledge it.
"Why would I do that?" her question piquéd curiously, "I don't ever want to forget this conversation if it's the beginning of our relationship."
"Well, I do! It was already enough for me to put my heart on the line and now you're screwing with my head!"
"Do you really have to make me say it, Y/N?"
"Say what?"
"Being naive for the right reasons is adorable on you," she reminds you before getting a grip of herself. Her humor fades away as a solemn look replaces it, "That I like you too!"
"You still refuse to believe me, don't you?"
Once again, your eyes avoided her gaze, almost ashamed to answer her.
She steps closer, resting a hand on your cheek, caressing the soft flesh, admiring you. Underneath the moonlight, your eyes glistened, somehow radiating off the adoration onto Clarisse herself. Clarisse felt like the teenage girl she was meant to be, a normal human being. To experience love without the dangers of reality and monsters coexisting, ruining relationships along the way. She is deeply infatuated with just one girl, you, her girl. Her one and only girl. Her forever girl.
Once you really got to know her, you'd understand why her personality is so cold. Never expresses vulnerability because she was forced, seemingly taught that way by her father. Either to be a power force not to be reckoned with, or not to be reckoned by the ultimate power force. Generally speaking, you were classified as the force, and Clarisse as not being reckoned with. You saw her as she truly is, with all of her flaws and you valued her.
"Maybe this will feel real," she mutters, and before you can question her, she shuts you up in a meaningful manner, pulling you closer by the collar of your shirt, and pressing your lips against hers.
Too stunned to react, you reciprocated the kiss as your eyes fluttered closed, melting into it. The kiss became more ferocious as her hands moved downwards, pulling you by the waist closer.
Your hands caress her face, gently rubbing on her smooth skin as the kiss deepens. Soon enough, the kiss started to become intimate, hands wandering across the other, her lips were absolutely alluring. It was too much to handle, too hot to handle for either of you, but that was a stupid thought disappearing at the back of your mind as the makeout intensified, too engrossed with the warmth provided. Your lips pressed firmly against her lips, molding perfectly together, but the intense passion didn't stop the makeout, it was the lack of air that was desperately needed. Releasing the grip on your shirt as her hands wander downward to your waist, engulfing your body, and maintaining your balance. You heave, attempting to control your breathing as Clarisse sticks her tongue in your mouth, ignoring the need for oxygen. You were her supply of oxygen that she desperately craved, and now she had you. She wasn't too keen on letting you go, not now and not never.
It was only when you pinched her cheek slightly, hinting at the lack of air, very roughly Clarisse pulled away from the kiss.
"Now if that didn't explain how much I like you, I don't know what will." She gasped, staring at you.
"S-should we get back to the bonfire?" You stutter.
"Bonfire?" She squints her eyes, questioning your judgment, "You wanna go back to the bonfire? After we made out?"
"What do you suggest we do?"
"Start dating and continue to make out."
"I love that idea."
© asvteriasoul, 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works onto any other platforms without my permission.