Selina
I pace back and forth along the room while Rafael peacefully sleeps, unaware of anything, the night has already progressed significantly, it must be around three in the morning. I freeze as the door opens, my sister dressed all in black sneaking inside and closing it behind her, "are you ready?" she asks, approaching with a black jacket in her hands. "Sienna, what if he finds us outside?" I ask referring to Antonio, my voice trembling as she helps me put on the jacket. "Selina, look at me," I turn, meeting her gaze as she zips up the jacket over my thin sweater, "I'm the one who got you out of that hotel, right? And the rest of my plan was well established until the Ivanov brothers got involved. So don't worry, I know what I'm doing," she says, her gaze determined.
I nod, deciding to ignore the fear crushing me, and head towards my son to wake him up, gesturing to Sienna our bags with our belongings. "Mamma? What's happening?" he asks, struggling to open his eyes as I put on his jacket. "Nothing, angelo mio, we're going to play a little game, okay? We have to be very quiet," "are we playing hide and seek? Will Niko find us?!" My hands tremble at the thought alone. If Nikolaï catches us, I really don't know how he'll react, will he punish me like Antonio? A cold sweat grips me as I exhale slowly, trying to calm myself. "Yes, hide and seek, but we have to win, so no noise, okay, baby?" I lie to him, and he nods, smiling.
"Let me, I'll carry him," my sister says, handing me my bag and her backpack with a pair of sneakers that I quickly put on. I go out first, cracking the door open to check for anyone and any noise, and I exit followed closely by Sienna.
My sister leads the way down the stairs and heads straight to the living room, where she gently opens the large glass door leading to the gardens. I shiver in the cool air, the wind sweeping my strands escaping from my braid and swinging my sister's ponytail. She moves between the tall bushes and slips into a small path that I had never noticed before,"how do you know this route?" I whisper, following closely to not lose her in the darkness. "What do you think I've been doing for the past two weeks? I know this house like the back of my hand, well almost, I couldn't go down to the basement because of Hardman," she grumbles, continuing to penetrate the garden.
We walk for a good ten minutes, reminding me of how large the estate is, we eventually arrive at the foot of a high white wall, the property's boundary. I see my sister frown, glancing behind us, and I follow her gaze but see nothing, "this way," she calls to me, starting to walk along the wall, and I can't help but be surprised to see her barely out of breath despite the distance covered while carrying my son, who has fallen asleep again on her shoulder, moving gracefully. I, on the other hand, am sweaty and out of breath, stumbling more than once and catching myself on the wall. She finally stops a few meters ahead in front of a door that I would have surely missed in this darkness if I were alone. My sister feels the wall and eventually opens a lid behind which appears a numeric panel asking for a code that my sister quickly enters, again to my great surprise. The door unlocks with a slight noise, and Sienna opens it slowly, glancing outside before stepping out and gesturing for me to follow, we find ourselves on a dirt path at the edge of the forest.
A few meters away is a car with the engine running, I see my sister breathe a sigh of relief and walk towards it, and I follow hesitantly, wrapping my arms around my trembling body, whether from cold or fear I don't know. Sienna opens the rear right door, gesturing for me to get in, which I do after casting a last glance towards the large white mansion plunged into darkness, a kind of house where I could have surely lived. I grab my son, who snuggles against my chest murmuring, and glance at the driver whose face I can't see hidden under his cap.
My sister retrieves our bags, which she stows in the trunk before opening the second rear door and prepares to join us but freezes, her hand gripping the door, her gaze empty. "Sienna?" She raises her wide eyes, slowly turning her face towards the driver who doesn't move, his hands gripping the steering wheel, his back straight, his shoulders tense. "You bastard!" Sienna suddenly exclaims, making Rafael and me jump, she straightens up, slamming the door as the driver also exits, slamming his own door even louder.
My breath catches as he removes his cap, revealing the profile of Sasha Ivanov, his blue eyes almost as dark as the sky above our heads. My door opens, making me jump, and I slowly raise my gaze to the figure towering over me and meet ice-blue eyes, "Niko! You won!" my son exclaims, smiling. Nikolaï's hard gaze shifts from me to my son, forcing a smile, "Of course, I won," he says hoarsely, making me flinch.
He bends down to pick up Rafael, bringing our faces to the same level, but unconsciously, my arm tightens around my son, and the icebergs settle on me again. He says nothing, does nothing, just looks at me, and my throat tightens seeing something behind that hard gaze, something hurt. My arm releases my baby, and Nikolaï lifts him with one arm, his other hand wrapping around my arm, gently pulling me out of the vehicle. My eyes widen seeing a dozen men moving around us; were they there the whole time?
"Where is he?!" my sister's voice suddenly echoes in the darkness, and I turn to see her face to face with Sasha, who still hasn't said a word, simply glaring at her with his dark gaze. "Where is the man who was supposed to drive us?" Sienna shouts again, hitting the man's chest, probably trying to push him, but he doesn't budge an inch. I stiffen seeing Sasha clench his jaw, losing whatever patience he surely must have, and I take a step to join them, but an iron grip around my arm prevents me. I lift my head to Nikolaï, but his eyes are fixed on his brother, not giving me any attention.
"Answer me! What did you do to him?!" my sister asks, and the despair in her voice tightens my heart; she hits him again, and Sasha grabs her wrists, pinning them behind her back, pulling her against him. "No, please," I whisper, looking up at the man holding me, but his attention remains fixed on his brother and my sister as he gently rocks my son, who gradually falls asleep again, unaware of his surroundings.
"Why so curious?" Sasha asks, his face lowered towards Sienna, his voice as deep as his brother's. "Is he your lover?" My sister doesn't answer, biting her lip, but the trembling of her jaw doesn't escape me, nor surely the brothers holding us.
"I killed him," Sasha finally says, making my sister gasp, her eyes widening. "No," she shakes her head, and I freeze seeing a tear roll down her cheek for the first time in eight years. "No!" she repeats louder, struggling. "Let go of me, let go of me! I'll kill you, Sasha Ivanov, do you hear me!" I flinch at each of her cries, her voice breaking towards the end as Sasha turns her around, pressing her against the car to restrain her.
"Stop him," I murmur, my eyes never leaving my sister's hate-twisted face, as she continues to scream and struggle. I grab Nikolaï's jacket, shaking him, "Please, stop him!" I repeat, my voice trembling. He finally lowers his gaze to me, his lips and jaw tightening as he sees my face, "enough, Sasha, the man is alive," he says, without taking his eyes off me. I look at my sister, who freezes, breathless and trembling, closing her eyes, she leans her forehead against the roof of the car, her relief palpable. Sasha doesn't take his eyes off her, and as if it were possible, I see his gaze darken even more; he turns her back, grabbing her shoulders, now preventing me from seeing her face.
"So, that was the plan? To run away with your lover?" he asks, shaking my sister, who raises her chin, showing her claws. "It's better than waiting for the moment when you decide to sell us to the Italians!" she spits, standing on tiptoe to get closer to Sasha's face, her eyes shooting lightning.
Nikolaï stiffens beside me, and I dare not look at him for fear of seeing his expression as his eyes fix on my profile. "We're going home before Rafael catches a cold," he finally grumbles, grabbing my hand and pulling me along. But I stop when we reach the car, casting a glance towards my sister who still hasn't abandoned her stare-down with Sasha. "Go ahead, it'll be okay," she simply tells me without looking at me.
I feel anger rising gradually as I turn away to follow Nikolaï, anger against myself, against my uselessness, against my fears that paralyze me, against the person I've become.
On the way back, we pass through the front door, of course, guards posted at the gate casting curious glances at us. Nikolaï releases my hand and opens the front door of the mansion, shrouded in silence. Without waiting for me, he starts climbing the stairs, and I follow silently, frowning when I see him continue climbing past the guest bedroom floor. "Where are you going?" He doesn't answer, and we reach the third floor where his sons' room and his own are. He gently opens the twins' door and approaches Andrei's bed, pushing aside the covers and laying my son down, removing his jacket and covering the boys who snuggle against each other. He gestures for me to leave, which I do without a word after one last glance at the boys. Nikolaï gently closes the door despite his tense shoulders, and I gasp when I find myself in his arms, my arm wrapping around his neck. "What are you doing?! Let me down!"
"So you can escape when I look away?" he says without looking at me, "and stop yelling, you'll wake the kids." I clamp my lips shut, not knowing how to reply as he opens the door to his room.
He sets me down on the edge of the bed and turns to close the door, locking it, and he doesn't move, keeping his forehead pressed against the wood, his back tense. I slowly get up, my legs trembling, "Nikolaï... I... I'm sorry. I just wanted to protect my family. And yours too, the longer we stay here, the more v..." I startle when he turns around, his hands sliding against my cheeks, his fingers threading through my hair, his eyes diving into mine. His gaze analyzes my face as if he were discovering each feature for the first time, "Nikolaï?" I ask softly, and his gaze meets mine. "Do you think like your sister?" he asks, catching me off guard, I swallow and lower my eyes. "I... we've only known each other for two weeks, but I've known the mafia for years now. Trust doesn't exist. There are only strategies, plots, blackmail, and betrayals," I begin, raising my head, "I... I can't, Nikolaï, I don't want to continue living in this dark world, not even for what you have to offer me. Please, I beg you, let us go, for everyone's sake," I say, my voice trembling, tears flowing despite myself.
He looks at me, and I feel like he sees everything, my fears, my regrets, my wounds, my pain, he reads me as if I were an open book. "Don't cry," he whispers, wiping my tears before pulling me into him, against the warmth of his chest. His lips press against my forehead as he utters the phrase that should free me from this world filled with monsters but actually hurts me like nothing before, not even Antonio.
"Okay, Solnychko, whatever you want."
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