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I never thought I'd be coming back to the town I used to live in when my family was a whole. when it was me, my mom, my sister and my father. When my dad died it was my mom who said 'sometimes in life you just have to move on' And that's exactly what we're doing, although I'm not too sure that this is the best way to do that.
Children never think of their parents dying, of having to walk out of where you were kept safe to a sight of dead bodies all around you and them bodies weren't always dead, they had a life, a family, someone to call mother and father, they had happy memories, regrets and now what do they have? Nothing. Because they fought for people like me, people who weren't allowed to fight because their parents wouldn't let them. I could have made a difference to that fight, one extra person makes all the difference but my fathers pack was strong on not letting women fight-it was a men only, very sexist pack, but I wouldn't swap them...
Except I am.
My pack was left in pieces, nothing left other than broken hearted wives and children who had no where to call home. Some children have even been made orphans and yet here I am, not helping them, just running away to a pack where my father used to be the Beta. I guess I'm lucky that I have them to fall back on.
But this pack were no where in sight when my father needed help, when my pack needed allies, where was this pack?
"We're here" My mom announces, snapping me from out of my daydream. Here we are, outside our new home, a huge home, in the middle of the forest. The house is modern with huge glass windows making most objects in the house seen, the parts that aren't window are grey stone and to enter, you needed to climb five white, sturdy steps.
the first thing I notice is an audience outside of our front steps. There's line of people. Of course, the new family gets a 'welcome to the neighbourhood that never helped you' embrace. Each person had a smile on their face but it wasn't an excited smile, it was a sympathy smile...a smile for the broken family.
"I don't want to do this mom" I tell her, unbuckling my seatbelt in the passenger seat. I'm fully aware that they can hear me, every word, every movement, every bone that cracked...they could hear. Her eyes widen as a warning to me that we're being listened to but that doesn't stop me from carrying on. "It just feels like we're running away" I explain, looking out to the scene around us.
It's not right because it's not home. "Everything will be fine, just give it time" She replies, squeezing the hand that rested on my lap.
She keeps saying that but that doesn't make it okay, she deals with grief differently, she decides to forget anything ever happened, blocking the hurt out and moving on but I feel it's only right that I face this head on. "Come on" She encourages, opening her door making me and my sister follow suit.
"Coriella! How was the journey?" A woman from the middle of the line bursts, her arms out wide as she heads for my mother. I grab a hold of my four year old sisters hand, walking us around the car to greet the audience.
My mom is happy to be here, I can tell, I can feel her energy, it's warm and radiates off her. "It was a great journey" My mom replies. It was an awful journey, I wanted to cry all the way here and jump out of the car at any chance I got.
Next is the man the same age as the other woman who is also stood in the middle of the line. He wraps my mother in a warm embrace whilst telling her how nice it is to have us all here, although I'm not sure I can agree with him on that one...we don't belong here. We're witches, we've never belonged, the only thing that made us belong last time was the fact that my dad was here and helped rule.
"You must be Arabella" The woman speaks, rushing for me and my sister, her arms wide for an embrace. I want to flinch away...in fact, I want to run away but I know that it'll hurt my mom. Instead, I simply smile and accept her hug, letting go of Emmy's hand for no more than five seconds. "You're so beautiful" She tells me as she holds me at arms length.
I want to raise an eyebrow and tell her not all of us need compliments of sympathy but what good would that do anyone? These people are atleast trying to make us feel welcome. My head lifts to the rest of the line who watch on happily, theres a few girls and a few guys all split, girls on one side, guys on another. Maybe this pack isn't so different from my other one.
"Welcome Arabella" The man who I'm guessing is this packs alpha greets me kindly. I smile at him, hugging him gently although I hesitate this time. This man reminds me of my father, his smile, his body build and his smell. It's the typical werewolf smell.
I decide to speak back, feeling rude at not saying a word so far "Thankyou for having us" I say and I mean it. Having no where to call home isn't the most comforting situation, but then again niether is being taken in on a vote of sympathy. Things may be different if they would of just helped...I know my father reached out to them.
They denied him....They denied us.
The woman joins his side, his arm wrapping around her "We hope you feel welcome here, you were once seen as family to us and this pack and you still are. Whatever happened is in the past and you are safe now." He says "I'm Jeff, this is Rochelle the Alpha and Luna of Dark Forest pack. My son and Daughter stand behind me, Benjamin and Maya with the future beta and third in command who you will meet sooner or later. For now, get settled in and we hope you can attend the pack bonfire tonight at the pack house to welcome you to our pack"
I don't need a poxy bonfire to welcome me...I don't even want to be welcomed. All of this is too much especially for a girl who has nothing werewolf related inside her...not a wolf, not even a wolf subconsious. I hear a slight growl from the line and my head lifts, tilting slightly at the person I connect eyes with. His sandy blonde hair is short, but messy and his body build is bigger than any I've seen before. This is Benjamin I'm guessing, only Alpha's are his size. His blue eyes are piercing mine and I feel exposed under his glare.
I don't want to be here anymore than he wants me to, I can feel the cold reception he's giving me and the worst thing is the fact that I can't do anything to even motivate myself to want to please him. I never asked to be here, my mother did, or did my father before he died?
It's times like this I wish I could read minds and know just what the man thinks about me, what Benjamin thinks about me. I doubt I'm his favourite person right now-no Alpha's son likes change in a pack they're about to take over. Well, he can hop on my train, the next train that gets me the hell out of this place.
"Would everyone like to come inside?" My mom asks, making her way to the front door. Emmy is a statue at my side, observing what's going on. The scent around us is like the one at our other pack, it's of wolves, a typical dog smell but this one has a hint of vanilla.
Wolves and witches aren't supposed to mix, we aren't supposed to like eachother which surprises me when it comes to my mom and dad being mates. I watch as everyone walks into my new house, the newly, already furbished house with my bedroom and clothes already in my room waiting, any girl would be excited. How can I be when it's all new? the only item of clothing that Isn't new is the one's I am wearing, the ones from the witches world where I stayed for two days and no longer. My mom couldn't stand it for much longer, it's a life she left behind to be a Luna, it's the life that she promised the pack that she would put second best.
I squeeze Emmy's hand before guiding her forwards, joining the back of the huddle. I've never felt like such a stranger in my own home and I never want to ever again. "You probably don't remember me do you?" The question strikes me from the side and I spin to see who it came from. I bite my lip at the blonde haired, bonnie girl in front of me, she seems to sigh in defeat.
I'm sure this is Jeff and Rochelles daughter...Maya? I shake my head not wanting to get the name wrong. "We used to bury eachother in sand?" She adds. I stop and think, I really dig for any kind of memory but I have none.
I shake my head "I'm sorry, I can't remember" I answer truthfully, I really can't put a finger on it.
"Anna, not ring any bells?" She asks and somethings ticks, the name rings a bell but no memories join along side it.
I shrug "The name, I remember a little but nothing else"
Again she sighs in defeat and I feel bad that nothing comes to mind. This girl clearly remembers a lot, typical for a wolf's memory I guess. "We used to be kindergarten bestfriends until you moved towards the end of it, I can't believe you don't remember!" She bursts causing my eyebrows to raise at her loud, outgoing charisma.
"Oh I don't have a very good memory" I explain, making up pathetic excuses for my lack of attention to my early years in life
She huffs "You got that right. My full names Mayana, you were the only one who would call me Anna" my memory is foggy.
I smile a little. "Well how about we start over?" I propose, letting go of Emmy's hand to put it out in front of me for her to shake "I'm Arabella" I say
I smile even wider when she takes my hand in hers, giving it a firm shake "And I'm Maya"
I chcukle softly at how stupid this feels. "So, you going to the bonfire tonight?" Her question causes me to pull a face. The thought of attending a pack bonfire tonight really doesn't sit well with me. It's hard enough trying to conversation now, in my own home, never mind at a bonfire with the whole pack.
Bonfires with new people really aren't my thing, all the awkward coversations like the one I've just been put through really doesn't tickle my fancy. "Um, it's really not my thing, I'd rather just catch up on my sleep to be honest" I'm not lying either, with all this moving packs business and it only being a month since my dad died, I really am exhausted. Not to mention the constant smile that is plastered on my face to keep both my mom and sister reassured.
"Come on" She sulks "Just come for an hour, meet the pack, you'll love them" I'm not too sure about that. Either way this isn't about me not loving them, it's about them not liking me. I can give them a chance, I don't really have a choice, but they can ignore me because they have other friends and who do I have? No one. "Please" She sings, sounding like a child who wants chocolate.
I roll my eyes. An hour won't hurt "Fine." I give in "One hour and one hour only" I say.
The bonfire is your typical bonfire except it's not. The fire is like any packs bonfire, big to the point it could burn someone alive with just one misguided footstep. There are so many people, so much more than my other pack, they're all happy, talking to eachother, sharing jokes, drinks and stories.
Where can I possibly fit in with this group of people? How could I possibly be like them? The stories they tell and the stories I'd tell are different. No one wants to hear a story of a girl who's dad just died. I'm a witch, that's known to everyone here, if not by word of mouth then they'd be able to sense it. I could put that fire out in just one click of my fingers, one demand of the mind. The power and the ability I have scares people, especially male wolves.
"So did you meet the Alpha's boy yet?" My mom asks as we stand at the back of the party, looking on from the side lines.
I shake my head "I don't think he likes me" I reply. Instead of her asking why she smirks. "What do you know that I don't?" I ask her. My body builds with all sorts of feelings, anxiety, nerves, dread, worry.
"You'll soon find out" She replies, holding Emmy's hand "Come on."
She walks forward and into the house where we're offered more drink. They're good hosts, I'll give them that. There's tables dotted around the palace like mansion and my mum takes one of the cocktails. It's been a while since my mum was able to unwind and I can see that she's finally doing that here.
I'm looking for one person, Maya. I don't even attempt to use my witch senses, I want this first day to be as normal as possible, I can't fit in to a wolf pack if I'm doing witchcraft. "You made it!" A voice shouts at me in the kitchen, I lose all sight of my mom and come eye to eye with Maya.
"Uh yeah, I told you I would."
She smiles "I know you did" She hands me a can of pop and I take the chance of silence to open it, distracting me so that I don't look like a gorp with nothing to say "So, how about I introduce you to a few people?" She asks.
I knew that tonight would be meeting people and small talk but I didn't think It'd be straight away. I gulp my drink down. I guess it's better to get it over and done with so I can go home earlier.
Just as I'm about to answer, a voice interrupts us. "I need to speak with Arabella, Maya. Leave us for a minute" It's a male voice and it has me intrigued. My eyes leave the can which I'm holding in my hands, suddenly a little too tightly to the point the aluminium dents slightly. In front of me is Benjamin. I think of excuses, I try and dig deep in my imagination for one but it's impossible, I can barely even think at this moment in time.
"No Ben, get your own friends" Maya jokes. The look on Ben's face tells me he's not joking or finding any part of this remotely funny. Who the hell pissed on this guys chips? Maya's no longer smiling, instead she turns to leave. "holler at me when you're done" She says, walking outside and out of sight.
I look at him, my eyes unable to hide my emotions. I'm nervous and if my eyes didn't give it away then my fidgeting limbs will. What does he want? I know he doesn't like me but he doesn't have to go out of his way to tell me. "Do you know?" He asks causing me to frown.
"Know what?" I reply, taking a sip of my drink.
He looks impatient, like he's trying to rush the conversation "You...me?"
I frown deeper this time, what the hell does that even mean? "I know you don't like me if that's what you mean" Something about this Benjamin makes me feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. How can he ask a question with such little explanation behind it? I feel like I'm doing a puzzle with no chance of success.
"Nice" He murmers quietly, fidgeting with impatience. "No I didn't mean that. I mean that you're my mate"
I begin to laugh at the ridiculous statement. It's not even a statement, it's a joke, or at least I hope it is. It has to be. "You can't be serious" I reply, my face straight.
He frowns in confusion "What? don't you feel it?" His questions has me wondering, why don't I feel it? I thought this mating bond was supposed to be stronger than any other out there so how am I sure that he is my mate? "If I wasn't then I wouldn't be able to hear every single thought in your head because you're not part of my pack and you're a witch" His response to my thoughts cause me to take in a sharp breath. "that's how I'm sure. Plus, My wolf is crying for you and you're extremely addictive scent"
My eyebrows raise "I'm not a candle" I announce "I don't have a scent" The one thing that irritates me is the word 'scent' I'm not an animal, nor am I some sort of flower.
He laughs "You do have a scent and that scent will soon belong to me" I don't know what he means by me belonging to him but I know one thing and that's that it isn't true. "It is true so don't try to deny me cause I don't like to be pissed off" I'm beginning to think that my life here is going to be hell with this man constantly pestering me.
"Witches and wolves don't mate" I argue, coming up with the only thing that springs to mind. I know it's not true but I'm digging for any excuse I can find right now.
He looks at me as if I'm stupid, I can't blame him after the response I gave. "Then how do you explain your mom and dad?"
"A one off" I answer straight away
He huffs "Fine well, I'll let you carry on believing that for the rest of the night but don't expect this attitude to carry on tomorrow." I feel like I've been scolded off my mother. Who the hell even is this guy?
I've been in this pack for five hours and I've already been told my scent belongs to someone. It never has and it never will. I'm a witch and we don't mate like other supernaturals, we especially don't mate with wolves which is why I'm finding this so hard to believe.
I've never looked for a mate simply because I've never wanted one and that's not changed.
He closes in on me, his mouth getting close to my ear "I don't give a shit if you're a witch. I've waited too long to find my mate and become alpha to my pack. You will not deny me that" His words form a lump in my throat, not because I'm upset but because I'm scared for once.
How the hell can I deny a man who wants me so much? That's easy-he doesn't want me, he wants his title.
I look up at him, realisation crossing my face. "You want me for all the wrong reasons and I don't want you at all. This match is useless" I walk away and out of the house, in search for my mom or Maya. I just want to go home, I don't want to think about how In the space of five hours I've become a part of another pack and magically been mated to the alpha who only wants me for his title.
I want to get in bed and go to sleep. I don't want to make friends, be introduced to anyone or sing hymns around a stupid bonfire. I don't bother to search anymore, I find my way home, heading straight for my lilac walled bedroom with my white double bed against the wall as soon as I enter the house. I quickly change before closing the curtains in my room and wrapping up warm in bed.
I take my ipod off the bedside table, playing the first song I can find, relaxing myself to the beat. How can Benjamin even expect me to want him when he treats me like he just did? How can anyone expect me to try to like this man when he uses his mate as an excuse for power? A mate is supposed to be a bond filled with love, a mate is your soulmate, it's someone you want to spend the rest of your life with but I just can't relate to that.
I'm not a wolf, I'm a powerful witch with a title back in the witch world. My mom gave her life as a witch up to support my dad and to give her full attention to the pack but I can't do that and I won't. I feel no attachment to Benjamin, I feel nothing but anger towards him for making me feel the way he has. I'm not an object, I'm not a girl who will bow down to an alpha.
This is why witches aren't liked in packs, they're too independent and powerful, packs are made for men to take charge and rule. Yet to be an alpha, you must marry and you become a stronger alpha if you marry your mate, so why aren't women given the credit that they deserve in this world? They carry the future generations of these packs, they raise them, feed them and help them. Without women, this pack would be nothing.