I'm alone with a passel of children and feel outnumbered.
Silvia is a good helper though she struggles to understand that I can no longer form ice sculptures at her request. Despite my reservations about being left to fend for myself, it feels only fair if this is the expectation. I do insist that he promise me intimacy later if I succeed, working towards pleasing him would give me a goal and motivate me not to lose sight of my focus.
Sneaking into the kitchen while the children play, I crack open a bottle of wine and take a swig. I'd been told I was too much of a brute for the manliest man I knew, my ego and feminity were wounded. I never thought of myself as someone who prided myself on being more kind and gentle, yet being told I was too purposefully rough had me feeling strangely masculine in a way I didn't like.
My wolf, however, was quite pleased and seemed to take this as a positive to becoming the dominant male in the house.
Silvia tilts her head as I take another drink from the bottle. "What's that?"
I nearly choked, coughing and sputtering as I put the cork back on. It was only 10 in the morning and I was drinking, maybe I truly did have a problem?
"An adult drink."
She pulls her lips into a thin line, mimicking her grandfather. Legardo carries groceries inside from the car as I quickly put the wine back in the cabinet. He takes on the same expression and I roll my eyes, not realizing just how hereditary sarcasm and sass are.
"Day drinking? Great first day, Nic."
"Eat it, Legardo." I spit back, making Silvia tilt her head the other way.
"Eat what?"
"Nice." Legardo sighs, shaking his head in obvious disappointment as he begins to set things on the counter.
"All the sugar he can, because your daddy needs to learn to be sweet." I poke the girl's nose, narrowing my eyes at Legardo and flipping him my middle finger as the little girl skips back into the living space.
Perhaps it was how much he looked like his father or how much he felt I was a lost cause, something made me want to treat Legardo poorly so I opted to fall short in that department and allow temptation to take over. Leading myself back into the kitchen, I put on a movie and flop down on the couch, running my hand through my hair as the children play on the rug.
This wasn't so bad. A movie, children, I would coast through the day and prove my worth.
Not ten minutes pass before Darius looks at me, dropping his toys. "Potty." He tells me shortly, holding his shirt.
"Go potty?" I suggest, only to gasp as he proceeds to have an accident on the floor and I'm forced to rush him to the bathroom. My paternal instincts were lacking, I seemed to be incapable of understanding the needs of a toddler. Holding him over the toilet so he can finish, Silvia stands in the doorway with her hands on her hips.
"Xavier is playing in that water on the floor."
"Well stop him!" I demand, making her shrug as she disappears. Folding Darius under my arm, I grab a towel from the bathroom and come back into the living area, forgetting he'd been on the rug. I put Darius down and go to get the carpet cleaner, grumbling to myself that the insane were running the asylum.
"Um, Papa Nic. Darius is naked." Silvia yells from the living room.
"Just give me a minute." I retort, bringing back the spray and spriting the carpet before putting the towel down, then hesitating to look at the bottle. "Is that how this works?" I grumble, scratching my head, wishing I was better at reading English. "Silvia, can you read?"
"I'm six." She responds, exasperated.
"Six year old's can't read?" I respond in a similar tone, rolling my eyes.
"Papa Nic, Darius is still naked." She whines, holding her hand over the small boy's face who whimpers in complaint.
"Well then stop looking at him, Silvia." The response comes off shorter than I mean to, I opt to just step on the towel to absorb any fluid as Xavier struggles to climb for the couch. "Oh shoot, Xavier is still wet." Snatching up the baby, I groan at just how damp he was. I'd have to change him entirely, the one-year-old giggles and reaches for my face with a flurry of excited sounds.
It would warm my heart if Silvia wasn't at my hip. "Papa Nic. I am a girl. Darius is a boy."
"Thanks for the anatomy lesson, Sil." I sigh, taking Darius's hand and dragging him along with Xavier into their room. As quickly as I can manage, I put underwear on Darius and opt to decide that he would be fine without pants in favor of expedience.
What I hadn't anticipated was the wrestling match it took to cram Xavier into a fresh diaper and a new onesie. The little boy was shockingly strong and noncompliant, between shrieking with one of his only words, No, and kicking, I hardly managed without tearing the onesie in favor of not hurting his tiny arms. "Xavier, please, honey. Just be still." I beg, tickling the little boy and encouraging a flurry of giggles.
"That's better. So sweet." I melt all over again, picking up the boy and cradling him. Turning around, I note that Darius is gone, making my way back into the living space to see Silvia spraying Darius's legs with the carpet cleaner. "Why?!" I demand, rushing over to take it back from her in a flurry of rage and disbelief.
"I don't know." She shrugs, grabbing the soiled towel to hurriedly wipe the boy's legs.
"Silvia that towel is disgusting!" I jerk it out of her hands, causing the little girl to sniffle.
The heavy lower lip pokes out, and she wipes at her eyes as she crosses her little arms. The pretty princess dress frills around her and she tilts her head away, causing the heavy curls to bounce and sway. "You hurt my feelings, Papa Nic."
"Mean." Darius frowns at me, while Xavier reaches with the towel with a shriek of protest that I wasn't handing it over fast enough.
"Silvia, I need you to work with me please, you can't just spray chemicals on Darius and Darius, don't just stand there and let her spray you!" I quickly move to throw the towel in the hamper, grabbing another for the spot and a second for Darius's legs while I contemplate if I needed to bathe him or if this was something I could wipe off.
Still holding Xavier, the boy screams once more, demanding a different position and I sigh as I opt to put him down on the rug and replace the carpet towel. Upon glancing up, I spy Silvia and Darius standing on the couch, tossing the remote back and forth. "Darius, let me wipe your legs."
"Run Darius!" Silvia giggles, leaping off the couch to run away as Darius squeals in delight, leaping after her in a dead run.
"Run! Run!" He shouts, I'd be amused with his gait if I wasn't so angry at the obstinance. Why did I want this? Why did I decide I wanted children?
Looking at Xavier, the little boy tugs at the newly soiled towel, and I quickly pick him back up. "Alright. No more living area.. let's move to hardwood."
Making my way into the kitchen with Xavier on my hip, I spy Legardo grinning and resist the urge to inflict violence on him. The man was already knee-deep in meal prep, it was impressive just how many things he was working on putting together.
Maybe my body could undergo the transformation Legardo did, he'd gone from being almost portly to in reasonable shape, though I imagined Pascal was willing to have sex with him so that probably aided in the weight loss.
"Trouble in paradise?" He muses, I flash my teeth at him as I move to start making the children's sandwiches.
"Silvia hates crust, Darius will only eat jelly." He reminds me, offering me a small smile. "You're welcome to try and switch it up but, Darius throws things and Silvia will explain to you why you're incompetent."
"Why do we even have them?" I grumble, sorting through the mundane task of making three separate, specialized plates. Legardo seems to be considering this, much as I was, trying to come to terms with the fact that this would be most of our lives. If I were going to take over this responsibility, I would have to get used to Legardo being around. Much as I didn't necessarily hate him, I found him to be less than tolerable with his commentary and snarky attitude.
"We have them because they make us better people, and they teach us to be patient. Then they grow up, fall in love with an evil spawn, and only listen to their grandfather... hmm.. maybe we should consider why we're doing this and give these back."
I offered him the smallest smile, he wasn't thrilled with his lot either. I could respect that.
"Find your Mom voice. You can do this." Legardo encourages, "Don't hold yourself to Verando's standard. My father was raised in a foster home with eleven other children, this sort of thing doesn't bother him in an almost inhuman way."
I needed that reminder, Verando had more experience than any of us in some ways, but Legardo had also done this with four children and managed to survive somehow. Renewed, I set the plates at the table and called the children in to eat, snagging Darius on his way in to wipe off his legs.
The little trio crowded around the table, chattering and carrying on almost as if they hadn't committed harsh acts against me only moments prior. Xavier yawns over his oatmeal, rubbing his eyes as he mishandles the spoon, slinging oatmeal across the kitchen. I'd forgotten his bib, sighing heavily at myself as I ran to the bathroom to grab yet another towel and remind myself that now I'd need to do laundry.
"Potty." Darius frowns, embarrassed, as I hear the trickle of water off the chair.
While it's tempting just to sob, I clean Xavier to the best of my abilities before using the towel to mop up the next mess. Going back through the overall displeasure of Darius being naked, I take him back to their bedroom to change him once more and wipe him off. At what point should I give up and just bathe him? Giving him a once over, I opt to save that for later and release him once more in favor of putting Xavier down for a nap.
The little boy takes no prisoners with the shrieking that ensues. Legardo trots in after me as if he thought I'd managed to drop the child, only to find me hunched over his crib with a look of complete failure. I want to cry, I'm sure he can see it on my face, and to my relief I'm met with understanding instead of mockery.
"You have to hold him until he's just about to fall asleep, he's in a sleep regression. Also, you need to change him again."
What had happened to my giggling little infant who snuggled with me so sweetly?
My day hardly goes any easier, while nothing goes as planned, I managed to keep the wolf at bay and keep a relatively level head. Divide and conquer, I turned my task into a military operation and while I was sure the children could have had a better day, I managed to get them through it alive and relatively fed.
Verando descends the stairs, hesitating when he sees me flopped on the couch in a state of defeat with Xavier passed out on my chest. Xavier and Silvia play quietly on the rug, Verando takes casual inventory of all the towels and carefully gathers them without being too obvious about his confusion.
"There were a few messes," I explain, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"I see that." He muses, ruffling Darius's hair as the little boy pulls up his shirt to show him that he has no pants on. "Oh my. Call the guard, we have a streaker."
"No pants! No pants!" Darius giggles.
"And he's a boy! With no pants!" Silvia points out sharply. Grabbing the boy, he tosses him in the air to catch him again amidst the flurry of giggles.
"Well, lets make sure you're empty then grab some pants. Do you need to go?"
"Yes!" Darius squeals, kicking to be released.
I find myself gawking, earning a concerned look from my warlord. "Oh. So you just ask him if he needs to go?"
Taken aback, Verando glances at the child and then back at me. "Usually. What did you do?"
"I don't want to talk about it." I shoot back, cuddling with my baby while he is still my sleeping snuggler. I'm more grateful for the intervention than I want to admit and it begins to dawn on me just how tired my husband probably was. If he was managing these two, ontop of me and a job, I wondered how he managed to get anything done.
Shame creeps up into my chest as I wait for him to return, I hear Darius and Silvia giggling in the background as Silvia races back into the living room with a brush in hand. "Princess braids! Princess braids!"
"I'm thinking Viking braids." Verando responds, "Give ol' Echo a run for her money."
"Yeah! Take her money!" Silvia demands.
"Money!" Darius yells.
Verando sits cross-legged on the floor as Silvia plops in his lap, slowly beginning the process of carefully brushing through her hair as he holds a couple of hair ties between his teeth. Darius hangs off his back, arms around the warlord's neck as he giggles wildly. My warlord was in his element, it appeared it was he who truly enjoyed being with the children. But, thinking back to Legardo's words, it made sense.
Verando aged out of foster care, he'd been raised with over a dozen children through various ages of life.
I'd never had such an experience, there was nothing to compare this to, and I'd hardly ever been around children. Watching the little group, I marvel at Verando's ability to entertain Darius with short commentary to his chattering while managing the intricate process of braiding Silvia's thick tangles of hair.
"Where did you learn to braid again?" I ask him, earning an amused look as he glances at the rubberbands between his teeth.
"Elves and my sister." he manages. I often forget he was an elf slave.
"I want a sister." Silvia sighs.
"You have a sister." Verando reminds her, tying off one of the braids.
"Yeah. I want a different one."
We collectively chuckle, it does me some good to see him in a better state of mind than this morning. It would appear he truly did need some time to reset, though I wonder how much of this was a front. Had I passed? Did I do a good enough job to warrant some physical touch?
Muttling through dinner, Legardo gathered Silvia and explained the various dinners, he'd be back tomorrow to make more and I welcomed the help. Verando would be leaving for a week shortly, I needed all the practice I could get.
Putting the children to bed, the house is finally quiet. I exit Darius's room, finding Verando cleaning up the kitchen. The man never found time to sit still, he was always moving, always doing something. Cautiously, I come up behind him to carefully place my hands on his hips, brushing my cheek against his back.
"How was your meeting?" I ask, testing the waters.
"Fine. Lotta is worried about you, there's a meeting with a couple of leaders about creating a larger front against Caspian. It would appear the rebels aren't letting up, Leo is worried they're hoping to wear us down. They wanted to consult on battle tactics and to ask when you're coming back."
So they missed me? It makes my heart flutter, I resist the urge to tighten my grip on him, kissing his back once more as my hands slowly brush up and down over his hips. Carefully, I slide my hands behind him, using my thumbs and fingers to slowly massage his lower back. "What did you say?"
"I told them you'd reach out when you were ready."
A safe answer. I could respect that, at least he didn't lie that I was happily at home with my heathen children.
"Did you enjoy your day?" He questions, glancing over his shoulder at me. Pursing my lips, I considered lying to him that I'd greatly enjoyed everything being a parent had to offer, and yet that felt horribly dishonest.
"It was terrible," I admit, continuing my massage over the planes of his back, refamiliarizing myself with him. "But, I made it, and I think every day I will get better at it. No blow-ups, no explosions... maybe I am getting the hang of this whole 'living' thing." The thought does bring me some sort of peace, that perhaps I wasn't entirely a lost cause.
Yet, somehow, it felt disingenuous. Was I actually mastering it or was I putting on a mask? Verando turns into my arms, I place my hands on his belt as I glance up at him through my lashes, not wanting to get my hopes too high as he collects my cheek in his hand to meet my gaze. "You're so beautiful when you're wanting something." He muses, brushing his thumb over my cheek.
I wanted it so badly, he felt like a fresh shower, making his scent even more potent with the purity of being clean. Toying with his belt, I brush the backs of my fingers over the buttons covering his navel. "Did I do a good job?" I ask timidly.
"I'd say so. Everyone's alive, Legardo seemed impressed, this wasn't a pass-or-fail task, Nic. We do have to live with these little buggars for quite some time yet so..." I stretch on my toes to cut him off, biting my lower lip as I will him to kiss me. Verando bends to brush his lips against mine in a slow kiss, it takes everything in me to keep my hands firmly on his belt and not leap onto his body.
As my lips move against his, i feel him smirk, a light chuckle breaking the kiss. "Darling, you're practically vibrating."
"I want you so badly." I manage, "I'm trying so hard to be good but gods I want to ravage you." Sliding my hands up, I moved as carefully as I could to encircle each pectoral with my hand, groping and kneading the impressive chest muscles. "You're so damn good-looking."
Placing his hands on top of mine, I worry he's going to stop me but instead, he guides me into a slower, more sensual massage of his chest. "Sometimes strength is a good thing." He reminds me, kissing me as I pass my thumb over one of his erect nipples. Feeling the tremble run through him I move to deepen the kiss and he pulls back, baiting me with his parted lips. "Slow," he warns.
I growl back in response, and my wolf whimpers and paces.
I roll his nipple between my thumb and forefinger, kneading with the other hand as he shivers under my fingers. One of his hands slides down, groping my ass as he pulls me closer. "Let's talk about this upstairs." He exhales against my ear.