Celine
I wake up when I feel the mattress dip beside me. My eyes peel open, and the first thing I register is the small burst of pain in my arm, signalling that my IV drip is back in. I internally groan and look up at my grandfather. I furrow my eyebrows.
"Hi, Celine." He says. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine." I whisper. I sit up, rubbing my eyes with the heels of my hands.
"Everyone else is getting here tomorrow. They're all excited to meet you."
"Who?"
"Your cousins and aunties and uncles." He tells me. "Did your dad not mention that?"
"I don't know." I say quietly.
"Do you wanna come sit downstairs?" He asks me gently.
I nod.
"Alright." He says. "Let me get your wheelchair."
"I can walk." I respond.
"It's best if you save your energy." He tells me. He opens up the wheelchair beside the bed and unfurls the covers. He lifts me up carefully, then sets me down in it. I frown as I look up at him. "Your grandma made some food."
"I'm not that hungry." I whisper.
"You can try eat what you can." He tells me, beginning to wheel me out of my room. I manage to grab my phone before we go.
I'm on the ground floor, so we don't have to go down any stairs. He takes me into the living room, which is small and cozy. The fire is on, and it warms me up immediately. I look over at one of the three little couches, where Julien is sleeping. Beside him is Zavian, who's got his head laying on my brothers lap.
Across from him is Nic and Scarlett. The former grins at me and says quietly, "hi, princess. Come and sit down here." My grandad takes me over to him, and Nic helps me sit in the spot beside him. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and kisses my cheek while simultaneously covering me with my blankets. "How are you feeling?"
"Better." I lie. If anything I feel worse, but I don't wanna go back to sleep again.
Mateo walks in, and he smiles when he sees me. His gaze softens when his eyes land on Zavian, and he leans down to lift him up. Zavian yawns.
"Hey, CeCe." He whispers, ruffling my hair. "You alright?"
I nod, wrapping my arms around myself. The TV is on, so I focus on that, forcing myself to catch onto every single word so I don't drift back off to sleep.
"Fuck's sake." Julien mumbles. "Turn that shit down."
"No." I say. "Cover your ears."
He groans and sits up properly. His eyes narrow as he looks at me, and I send him a sweet smile. He rolls his eyes and sits back, and for a moment I properly smile because everything feels normal again.
But then I catch sight of my wheelchair and the IV beside me and I frown. I lean my head on Nic's shoulder, and he looks down at me.
"You okay?" He asks gently. I nod tiredly. "Grandma bought ice cream, why don't I go get some for you?"
I smile. "Yes please."
He stands, and I sit upright. "I'll be back now."
He leaves, and I look over at Scarlett. "Your hair looks pretty."
"Thanks, honey."
"Can you do mine like that?" I ask her.
"Yeah, of course." She smiles. "Now?"
"Tomorrow." I whisper. "So I look nice for when everyone gets here."
Her eyes soften. "Alright."
Nic walks back in after another minute. He sits down, passing me a bowl practically overflowing with ice cream.
"Thanks." I whisper. He wraps his arm around me again and I clench my eyes shut and then reopen them in a poor, unsuccessful attempt to wake myself up.
"What's wrong?" Julien asks. Nic looks down at me.
"Nothing." I whisper, eating some of the ice cream slowly.
I look over at the doorway when my dad steps inside. He smiles at me, his eyes seeming to warm as he makes his way over to me. He sits down beside me and glances down at the bowl of ice cream before sending my oldest brother a knowing look.
"What?" I ask.
"You need something proper to eat." He tells me.
"This is fine." I respond. I lean back onto Nic's arm, and he rubs my shoulder.
"You can have something else later." He says gently. "Are you feeling better?"
I nod.
He smiles. "Good. We got Monopoly, too. We can—"
Léo walks in, and I sit up a little. He doesn't even look at me though. He focuses on our dad.
"I'm gonna go out for a walk." He tells him, his voice holding no emotion whatsoever.
My dad furrows his eyebrows. "Where to?"
He shrugs. "Just around. I'll be back soon."
He walks out, and I frown, looking down at my lap. I curl my arms around myself and lean away from Nic.
I eat half the ice cream before wordlessly setting it on my brothers lap. "I wanna go back to my room."
My dad frowns. "Are you not feeling well?"
I shake my head.
"What's wrong?" He asks. He sets his palm on my forehead, and I pull away from him.
"I just wanna go to bed." I say. "You're always making me go to sleep but when I want to I'm not allowed?" I ask, my eyes beginning to water.
His eyes soften. "I just wanted to see if there was anything you need."
I frown. Shake my head.
"Alright." He whispers. He stands, then helps me onto my wheelchair. I look up at him, and he smiles at me. I look back down, keeping my eyes on the blankets covering my lap the entire, short journey to my bedroom.
When we get there, he opens the door and takes me over to the double bed in the corner. It's a small room, which I like, and it has a homely feel that nowhere else that I've been before has. The warm atmosphere wraps around me like another one of my blankets. My mood brightens.
My dad lifts me out the chair and onto my bed. He helps me get under the thick duvet, and when I'm laying down I whisper, "sorry."
He smiles. "It's okay, sweetheart." He leans down and gently kisses my forehead. "You get some sleep."
"I'm tired." I whisper.
"I know." He responds softly, "do you want me to stay with you?"
I blink, confusion swirling inside me for a second. I look up at my dad. "You'll stay with me?"
"Of course I will." He tells me. He sits down beside me, and I tiredly shuffle over. He wraps his arms around me, leaning down to kiss my cheek. He moves hair out of my face and I yawn.
I lay my head on his chest for a few minutes before I whisper, "dad."
"Hm?" He responds lowly, running his hands through my hair.
"Sorry." I say.
"I told you, sweetheart, it's okay." He replies softly. "Go to sleep. I'm right here."
I nod and do as he says.
•
My dad takes me to the living room again when I wake up. Julien, Nic and Mateo are sitting there. I sit by Nicolas, who only wraps an arm around me again as they all continue to watch the TV. I try to, but everything they say on it is in French and I only understand some words. Julien has the subtitles on in English, but they keep going too fast.
My dad gets me food. He brings it to me, and I eat small bites of it. When I've had enough, he takes it away, and I lean my head on Nic's shoulder.
"You okay?" He asks.
I nod, tucking my legs underneath me. I yawn, then cough. "I'm tired again."
"You wanna go to sleep?"
I shake my head. "No thanks. I'm tired again."
He looks at me oddly, and I frown, turning away. I shuffle to the other end of the couch and lay down sideways, my sock-clad feet resting by Nic's lap. I watch the TV, trying to keep up with the subtitles but eventually I give up.
Mateo and Julien leave the room, and Nicolas tells me he'll be back in a minute, once he checks on Elias.
I begin to need the toilet, so I use the arm of the couch to pull myself into a standing position. My wheelchair is on the other side of the room, so I begin to stagger over to it, growing tireder with each step I take. I'm almost there when I stumble, tripping over the carpet and falling.
Tears spring to my eyes. I begin to cry as I hear someone rush into the room. As gentle hands lift me up into my wheelchair, I cover my face, embarrassment and shame and humiliation bursting inside of me all at once.
"Celine." Mateo whispers. "Darling, are you okay?"
I sob. His arms wrap around me, and I hide my face is the crook of his neck as I hear someone else come in.
"What happened?" Julien asks.
"She fell." Mateo tells him. "Come on, CeCe." He whispers. Slowly, he lifts me up, "what did you need?"
"It doesn't matter." I sputter out.
"Okay. Do you wanna go back to bed?"
I nod quickly, and he begins walking. I keep my head in my hands, and feel myself start to shake. He opens the door to my bedroom and sets me under the covers. Immediately I move away, toward the other side of the bed, far away from him. Far away from anybody and everybody.
"Celine." He says gently.
"Please j-just leave me alone." I sob again, wrapping the covers around my head.
"Alright." He responds. "Make sure you shout if you need anything."
I sniffle. Only when he leaves do I start crying again for what seems like hours until I hear the door open.
"Celine?"
It's Léo.
"Celine, are you awake?"
"What?" I ask.
He's quiet for a moment. Then, "I got you water."
I come out from under the covers, anger flaring inside me. "What, you wanna talk to me now?"
He frowns. "I just—" He cuts himself off.
"You just what?" I demand.
"It's hard to see you like this." He tells me.
My eyes narrow. "I'm so sorry me having cancer is so hard for you." I say.
"I didn't mean it like that—"
"If it's so hard to see me like this, then don't worry, you don't have to anymore. I never wanna talk to you again!"
"Celine—"
"Get out!"
"I—please."
"Leave!" I shout.
"What's going on?" My grandfather asks, stepping into the room behind Léo.
"Nothing. Léo is just fucking off." I say.
Léo's eyes flash with hurt, and I almost begin to care when I remember that he never did. Wordlessly, he leaves, setting the water down before he does so.