I was waiting in Aiden's cabin, legislating the certain error on paper, when Aiden, Eric, Elliot, and Gerard (an intern) stepped inside the cabin.
"Hello Emerald, let's begin discussing strategic planning for our new project," Eric said.
I nodded and everyone took their seat, my eyes drifted to Aiden, who sat next to me, he smiled and then winked at me.
I blushed. So much for being professional in the office.
We commenced discussing the idea and every, now and then, Aiden would brush his hand on mine or give me a flirty smile, which was not helping me to keep concentration on the meeting, whilst he appeared calm and collected, like a professional while enduring this sweet torture on me.
The meeting dragged till the evening; weariness had spread around the room. Soon, everyone departed leaving me alone with Aiden. He pulled my chair before him and wrapped his arm around me.
"What an exhausting day it was!" he exclaimed.
" It was indeed. I just want to take shower and sleep." I said, closing my eyes.
"Come to my place, I will cook dinner for us," he offered and kissed my forehead.
It was a very tempting offer and I couldn't deny it. who would say no to food cooked by Aiden? Certainly not me.
It compelled me to think about how leaving with him all the time could be. It would certainly be buoyant but also thrilling too. I didn't spend more penny on these thoughts and instantly answered him with 'yes' which rewarded me with a dazzling smile and kiss from him.
"Okay, so I will quickly grab a file from the Eric cabin and you meet me in the parking lot." He quickly said and retreated from the cabin, while I commenced collecting the file.
Knock.
Knock.
"Yes." Mrs. Maria walked inside, with a familiar blue envelope in her hand. Her eyes wandered around the room before fixing on me.
" Where is Mr. Stallard?" She asked as I placed the last file on the table.
"Oh, he is with Eric," she nodded.
" Will you please give this to Mr. Stallard?" She seemed in hurry, and a little tired too.
" Okay," She outstretched her hand and handed me the blue envelope.
" Thank you. See you tomorrow, Miss Gracia," and with that, she resigned for the day.
I look down at the envelope in my hand, and confusion rose.
Blue envelope.
This was the same kind of envelope that I had seen back in Aiden's house in New York. The plain blue color envelope with a name written on it.
Faith.
Who is she? Why was she sending letters to Aiden? How she always knows where he was? Why she is writing him letter after letter?
I have asked Aiden about her before and that leads us to had a huge fight.
What was he hiding?
Inserting the envelope into my handbag, I headed to the parking lot, where Aiden was already waiting for me.
" What took you so long, Emerald?" he asked, a sluggish smile adorned on his exterior. Instantly, I moved to the car, and opening the door, I sat.
" Can we please go, I am tired." I said, when he didn't shift from his place and baffled stared at me.
" Okay," he quickly appeared at the driver's side and settled himself inside the car. The entire ride to the house was silent, just the background filled with gentle music. He attempted to talk with me, but my absence of acknowledgment was the sole answer he received. I could see the glimpse of frustration, concern, and incredulity on his countenance due to my lack of verbal exchange, however, I did nothing to help him because my own head was tangled with the entire calculation about the sender of the letters.
When the car came to halt, in an instant my guards were up. We walked inside the room, silently. And before he could have said anything, I ejaculated.
" I will take a quick shower."
I hurried into his room before he could question the unseen unfathomable distress between us.
I had been at his place a few times, and every time I entered his room, a thought emerged in my head, this could be our room. This thrilling bubble burst when the shadow of fear fell over it. As exhilarating as it sounds to stay with him there is also a worrisome, what if we're rushing things? I placed the bag on the bed and quickly went to shower and changed into one of Aiden's comfy shirts which I grew to love.
My eyes fell on the blue envelope which was peeking from my fallen bag. I retained it and reclined on the bed.
Stillness loomed as I gazed at the envelope that was clutched in my hand.
What are you trying to do, Emerald?
My fingertips brushed the surface of the letter, softly. Just one peek won't hurt.
No Emerald, you can't invade his privacy. He will be angry.
I didn't want to snoop in his things; however, I couldn't obliterate unpleasant thoughts from my head. Inquisitiveness has taken over me, I wanted to know what was written in the letter, and I also knew Aiden won't be telling me if I ask him.
Don't do this, you will only hurt him.
Slowly and dexterously, I opened the envelope. A white paper scribbled with ink was peeking out. I withdrew it.
I am sorry Aiden. Please forgive me.
And I started reading-
Dear Aiden,
It's been four years, and I miss you so much. Even after years, I still write you in hope that one day you will answer my letters, but to my disappointment, there is never a single word heard from you, and it breaks my heart every day. I heard you came back to London, there are so many unsaid things, I just want to meet you. It's hard here without you...Please, meet me once.
There isn't a day when I don't remember that fatal night that ruined our lives for forever. Everything was going–
I stopped reading.
No. No, I can't. This is so wrong. I knew if I read further than this, it will only break my heart.
Who is she? Whoever this person was, her love was reflected in her words. The tempest of turmoil was rising and I was afraid it would sweep me off my feet and hurl me harshly on the surface.
My heart thumped wildly inside my chest, as I paced back and forth in the room with grim thoughts heavy in my head. Before I was in the dark so I didn't know what to search for, however, now when I got the taste of a secret would I be able to remain silent about it?
How would I ask him when I was the one who told him I will wait?
Who was she to him? Why did he never mention her to me? Would I be sane if I don't let out how I feel about this entire situation?
What more significant was, will he answer my questions or would remain laborious about them. He told me, he will carry his own burden but I knew I couldn't just stand here and pretend I was okay when I was not.
Answers were needed and only he could provide them. So, with a heavy heart, I headed to the kitchen with the letter still clasped in my shaky hand.
His back was facing me while he was cooking with skill, he appeared rugged and fine, in his formal attire, which he had not bothered to change. My knees quivered, in turmoil.
I hate myself for reading the letter because if I hadn't done it then I would be unknown to everything, in the surreal world with Aiden. But here I was, standing before the love of my life with qualms and doubts, and inclined to do something which I never ought to do, to question him.
I wished this very moment something could happen that would obliterate this very day's memory, so I did not have to balance on the thin line between conviction and question.
But neither time couldn't be undone nor can I stop myself from asking questions. I had to do it.
"Aiden..." I called out to him in a weak voice. In a blink, he whirled around and looked at me. Tears started to pool in my eyes.
Don't do it, Emerald, don't dig your own grave.
Catching a glimpse of tears in my eyes he settled the spatula on the counter and closed the distance between us.
"Emerald, what happened? Why are you crying?" He asked cupping my cheek.
No Emerald!
I lifted my hand and revealed the letter to him. His stiffened.
Incredulously, he seized it from my hand.
His countenance contorted into a blank stance. Affliction. Contrition. Resentment, all were surging in his deep forest eyes when it fastened with mine. His mouth twisted into a snarl.
"Why did you read it!? Don't you understand the as simple term as privacy–"
"Who is she?" I whispered over his shouting, which instantly, caught his attention and he quietened. The envelope crumbled in his tight fist, at his sides.
There was a heavy pause.
Then another heavier pause.
" Who is she, Aiden?" I implored and this time a tear slipped down my eye. His silence was perilous and it was frightening me more than the answer which I dreaded to learn. My stomach rolled over, there was an impending veil of destruction over us. His eyes showed a strong internal agitation, he looked down upon me with the loftiest contempt.
"Who is she?" again, he stared at me.
I clasped his shirt, " Answer me, Aiden!"
My patient was gone, and I was desperate for answers. His hands lifted and clasped around my shoulder. His exterior was, fierce and furious.
" She was someone close to me."
My breath knocked me out hearing his answer. I was wrong, the volume of his words was certainly more dangerous, his reverberation was a thousand times worse than his silence. Instantly, I regret asking him questions. Tears glazed my cheeks and my heart clenched in agony. My trembling hands unclasped around his shirt slowly and I removed his hand from my shoulder and took a step back.
"What?"
"She and I share the past," he said, in an emotionless voice.
My knees buckled.
"Past?"
She was close to him, but what she was? A friend, a sister...a lover?
He runs a hand through his hair, as emotion conflicted in his gaze, "It's complicated, you won't understand."
" Then make me understand," there was solid desperation lacing in my tone. I could beg him if he just answer my questions.
"This is not the right time."
"When will be the right time? Tomorrow, next week, next year, when? Tell me Aiden, how can you expect me to sit in the dark and be patient one day you will open up to me. I can't take it, anymore. I want you to let me in."
He stared at me with his deep wilderness eyes.
"Do you trust me?" his question froze my heart. Was he seriously asking this question?
"If I didn't trust you then I wouldn't be standing here after what you did to me but Aiden I want to ask you –" I swallowed, hard "do you even trust me?"
His eyes bored into mine.
"Of course Emerald, I trust you with my heart, my body, my soul," he said without any hesitation.
"So why can't you trust me with your past, your demons," I asked.
" What if someone was sending me a letter and I have mentioned their name in my journal, how would you have felt?" I continued, wiping my tears, "Why I can see agony on your face now, just hearing this you feel this way, think about me. I thought, love heals every scar but time and again, it only brought me pain."
My throat was constrained, and it was difficult to breathe.
"Emerald," he softly called. " I am sorry, I know I have been not an open book but I am trying to let you in, it's hard. Trust me this time, I will tell you everything. Just don't......leave me please."
Fear flashed in their gaze; did he think that if he didn't tell me about his past then I will leave him?
" I trust you Aiden but I don't trust the time. Time has never been in our favor." I said, softly, "And Aiden, I will never leave you again even if I don't get all of you."
The atmosphere sprung with emotion, his handsome face looked delicate and vulnerable. His past was hurting him and I decided, when he would let me in, I promised myself to be there for him.
" Tomorrow." He took a step closer to me, "tomorrow there will be no wall between us, you will be acquainted with my past. You will get all of me."
He kissed my forehead wiping my tears. I waited so long for this and one more night won't bring harm. Perhaps, it could be the last peaceful night before the storm that will come tomorrow.
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