RITS: Chapter Nineteen
"Just don't let yourself get provoked by him."
I nodded with all of Lincoln had to warn me about Prosecutor Tuazon's way of prosecuting. For sure he knows him well dahil ang liit-llit lang ng mundo ng mga abogado sa buong Pilipinas. Tumunghay ako sa kaniyang tumayo para tulungan si Meg sa mga bitbit niyang pagkain habang ako'y nakaupo lang sa bench rito sa kantina.
A few lawyers they knew approached them kaya natagalan pa bago sila makabalik sa pwesto namin.
May nakita akong mga pulis na dumadaan... but some of them purposely walked behind me at mukhang sinadya ring iparinig sa'kin na pinag-uusapan nila ako.
"Kung mahusay ka nga naman talaga sa mga bangkay ay mahusay karing gumawa ng bangkay."
"'Yung mga abogado nga kayang baliktarin 'yong batas para lang makaligtas at may mailigtas, 'yon pa kayang mga mauutas?" Dugtong naman ng isa.
Napapikit ako ng mariin sa kanilang pinag-usapan.
I knew I wasn't guilty... pero hindi ko parin maiwasang hindi mainis sa mga pagpaparinig nila. Funny how a person could judge you with just one accusation kahit hindi ka nila kilala.
What have I done to be fucking treated like this?
Kailan pa ba mauubos 'yong mga problema ko?
Kung saan akala ko'y okay na ang lahat sa buhay ko... Kung saan sa wakas masaya na 'ko't kuntento sa kung anong meron ako... doon naman nagkaletch-letche ang lahat.
But I never thought of revenge. Ni minsan... Ni minsan ay hindi sumagi sa aking isipang ibalik sa kanila 'yong mga ginawa nila... pero bakit parang pinagbabayaran ko pa ngayon ang pagpili kong palayain ang sarili ko mula sa kanila?
"Kayleigh," Meg waved her hand in front of me. She had a worried look all over her face. "Are you okay? What's up? Kanina kapa tulala,"
Kaagad naman akong natauhan at napakurap. Napabaling ako bigla kay Lincoln nang umupo siya sa tabi ko't inayos ang mga pagkaing binili niya sa'kin.
"If you're thinking of your trial, Meg has it under control." Inilahad niya sa'kin ang isang taco. May maliit na ngiti sa kaniyang labi na parang bang ipinapaabot niya sa'king magiging maayos din ang lahat. "We won't let you serve in jail for something you didn't do."
I heaved a deep breathe at saka tumango. I watched Meg's face turn back to its normal expression bago kinain ang kaniyang sandwich habang pipasadahang muli ang file ng aking kaso. Her brows creased as if maagi siyang nag-a-analyze, but ultimately smothered a confident look na siyang nagpaalab ng aking nararamdamang pag-asa sa kaniya. Lincoln too has her entire focus on the file case at maya't-maya ang pagkukonsulta kay Meg sa kung anumang mga nakita niyang maaaring na-mislook or kailangang i-emphasize para maipanalo ang kaso.
Watching them do these lengths for me... hindi ko napigilan ang paninikip ng aking dibdib. Maybe their presence and comforting words were all that I need now in this fucked up situation.
I was just thankful that I have them by my side.
***
"Court hearing for the case of People v Los Quiros resumes." The clerk announced.
I was silently sitting on my chair, waiting for the Prosecutor to make his move. Inaayos niya ngayon ang mga papel sa kaniyang mesa at nakita kong seryosong nakatunghay lang sa kaniya si Meg... Hanggang sa ipatawag na 'ko sa harap.
My heart was pounding.
For the first time in the entire time I was in the courtroom that I was able to feel something.
I stated the oath with a shaking voice. I drew a deep breath at iniwasang titigan ang mga taong narito... at itinuon lang ang aking paningin sa taong may pasimuno ng lahat ng ito.
My entirety flamed in anger.
Hindi ko tinantanan ang kaniyang mga mata at gano'n rin ang ginawa niya sa'kin. I was even impressed na walang bahid ng kung anumang pagsisisi sa kaniyang mga mata matapos ang lahat ng mga nangyari.
Ganu'n naba talaga siya ka-sobrangsumasapi sa mga demonyo?
Was he looking forward to all of this? Ito ba yung inaasam niya? Kasi kung oo, then I'd have to fucking congratulate him for succeeding!
Prosecutor Tuazon started interrogating me. Itinuon ko ang paningin sa kaniya't pinakalma ang aking dibdib na ayaw hupaan ng galit. I mentally reminded myself na hindi 'to mareresolba ng galit... Na walang magagawa ang galit ko sa kinakaharap kong sitwasyon... That I would be on disadvantage kapag hinayaan kong lamunin ako ng emosyon ko. All I could do is to be brave and trust the people who would do any means to get me out of this shit hole.
Inumpisahan akong tanungin ng prosecutor tungkol sa relasyon namin ni Islear until Mayen was included in the picture. He pointed out my strong intent to kill— my grief over the downfall of my relationship, highlighting that I had to very most capabilities of executing the murder dahil sa trabaho ko, but Meg contradicted all his arguments when it was her turn to interrogate me, proving the story he drew wrong before the assemblage.
Ang daming istorya...
Everything was clouding in my head... Pero hindi ko hinayaang tangayin ako ng mga gawa-gawang istorya ng Prosecution. I held my grip strong. I know nothing of what really happened and I am sure na hindi ako sangkot sa krimeng 'to. Malakas na kumabog ang aking dibdib sa aking paninindigan.
Yet... I was there, with nothing in my power I could do but to hold on faith... And hope.
"Coffee?"
I forced myself to smile when Lincoln paid me a visit. He sat beside me after placing a few folders on the table that had my last name written outside of the one on top.
"Thanks,"
Silence enveloped us. I hugged the coffee hanggang sa maramdaman ko ang init na pansamantalang hinubad ang ginaw na nakabalot sa aking sistema. Surely, being in jail turned me into someone I couldn't almost recognize myself.
Tinitigan ko ang usok na malayang nakakalipad sa ere.
How I wish I was too... Free.
I was in jail... For weeks now. Although everyone on my side was confident that Meg would win my case, the Prosecution strongly altercates. He was... Tough. It was obvious. Ang galing niyang mapaniwala ang media... ang mga tao. He was smart enough to twist everything Meg says on her defense and turn it to be favorable on his end.
Ang galing mag-ibento ng kuwento.
He was writing the story for me...
A story that even I know nothing of.
"We're doing our best to get you out." Lincoln took a sip on his coffee. Sandali siyang tumingin sa'kin. It was evident on his eyes how tired he was... pero ni minsan, wala akong narinig na kahit anong reklamo o daing mula sa kaniya. He was toughest man I've ever known.
"We will never let you rot in jail."
After Lincoln's visit, si Mom naman ang pumunta sa'kin kinagabihan. It had been going on routinely. She would cry at me, telling me how sorry she was for being a terrible mother— that I had memorized for quite a while now. I know she pays the police quite a price so she could visit me during the night kahit pa tapos na ang visiting hours.
"I'm sorry, Kay..." She sobbed and caressed my hand. "Mahal na mahal ka ng Mommy... I'm really... Really s-sorry..."
Funny how I used to imagine hearing those words from her noong mga panahong pini-pressure niya 'ko sa pag-aaral ko... Pero maririnig ko lang pala 'yon mula sa kaniya ngayong nasa kulungan ako't pinagdurusahan ang hindi ko naman ginawang kasalanan.
I've ingested Mom's sobs and unusual words for quite long that I was able to just look at her and say nothing more.
A few more days went on and I could feel myself losing my sanity being held in jail... all alone... kung hindi lang ako binibisita ng mga pinsan ko. When Lincoln would visit me, minsan ay sinasama niya si Lach na palaging pinapagaan ang modo ko kaya mas lalo pang tumingkad ang kagustuhan kong makalabas ng kulungan habang pinanghahawakan ang katotohanang ginagawa nila ang lahat para palabasin ako rito.
"What the hell are you doing here?" My hand balled into a fist and I was ready to throw Islear a heavy punch when he showed up before me.
The door behind him closed at walang pulis na nagbabantay sa amin rito sa loob. Binigyan niya 'ko ng isang maliit na ngiti, not minding my remarks. For someone who has lost a lover, he sure doesn't look like he's grieving. Walang bahid ng lungkot ang kaniyang mukha.
"Hey,"
"How could you visit me? You're a detainee yourself," nang makita ko ang pagsilip ng isang pulis sa amin ay doon ko napagtanto ang nangyayari. His hands were also uncuffed that added to my suspicion. I uttered a sharp scoff. "You know what, you are a living proof to why I must always trust things I overthink. I was never wrong."
Wala siyang sinabi. Tahimik siyang umupo sa harap ko. "You know what too, I've realized a lot of things—"
"Save all the blabbering. Wala akong taenga para makinig sa'yo." I cut him off.
I was about to stand up and leave him when he held me by my arm. Marahas kong binawi ang braso ko't nanlilisik ang mga matang tinitigan siya. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Islear? You may have your reasons why you were able to fucking two-time me with her, pero sana naman, sana naman inisip mo rin 'yung magiging epekto ng ginawa mo sa isa sa'min, or sa aming dalawa!"
"And if you're here to ask me if I did it, hindi." I let out a deep breath. There was no point explaining to him dahil parang wala lang naman sa kaniya ang nangyari.
"I could never kill someone for someone. Hindi ako kagaya mo na dahil may rason ka para gawin ang isang bagay, ginawa mo na, when you know you shouldn't have!"
"I'm not here for that," his voice was calm despite all my shouts. He sounded like the Islear I knew... or rather, the Islear that I've loved. Pinigilan ko ang sariling magpatangay sa maamong ekspresyon sa kaniyang mukha... at sa marahan niyang tinig. "I'm here to tell you how sorry I am for having you go through everything—"
"I don't need your sympathy!" My loud voice echoed around the corners of the silent room. It breathed hardly at nagtatangis-bagang tinitigan siya.
"I'm not. I'm apologizing." He levelled the intensity of my stare. Nagtitigan kami pero mas nanaig sa aking mga mata ang kagustuhang iwan siya rito at hindi na makinig pa sa mga sasabihin niya... pero nanatili ako. "And believe me, I have been tormenting ever since you left me. I've loved you, too, even when I told myself that I mustn't..."
I waited for him to continue. I wanted to hear something worth my tears or I might get swayed by his words again ng walang rason.
Ayoko na.
Ayoko nang umiyak na siya na naman ang rason.
That he was an entire reason himself... kahit hindi naman talaga siya yung rason na dapat iniiyakan ko.
"I just wanted you to know that you were the best." Kitang-kita ko kung paano siya gapangan ng pag-iyak dahil nagsisimula nang mamula ang mga gilid kaniyang mga mata. "That you for everything you made me feel... kahit ito 'yung sinukli ko sa'yo. I just hope you could get off this hell hole and I'd feel less agitated with myself."
Pinagitnaan kami ng madepinang katahimikan hanggang sa makita ko ang kinang sa kaniyang mga mata na agad naman niyang ipinikit at idinaan sa isang ngiti para hindi ko makita.
"I've loved you, Kayleigh." His voice held sincerity someone may get driven by... But right now, I'll never be one of them. Iniwas ko ang paningin sa kaniya. "You may not believe me and everything I've said, but I hope that someday when you know my reasons, you would understand why I've done this all."
I refused to draw a response.
I may have told him na ayoko siyang pakinggan but I knew deep down I've took in everything he's said.
Pinanood ko siyang tumayo at i-escort ng police ng mga Laxamana palabas. He sure was really showing me how much he sides with the devil that he himself is much reflecting the devil now.
Is his reason worth everything I'm going through now?
Kasi kung oo, I would fucking do any means to find out what it is paglabas na paglabas ko rito.
Kung mananalo ang kaso ko.
I don't want to jinx it, but I'm hoping for the best.
I only know countless things about law, and I know that the best thing to do in this situation is to put my trust in Meg and Lincoln.
"We'll start discussing strategies and plans to ensure na mailalabas kita rito. And just like last time, I would need you to trust in yourself and put your trust on me. I promise, I will do everything in my power to get you out." Meg showed me results from Forensics that could actually be helpful in my case.
"Do we have a witness?" I asked, hopeful.
"We have," she gave me a smile that assured my entirety. "You don't have to worry."
Time flew fast. It was the day of the second trial.
"We request the accused on the stand." The Prosecutor stares at me directly in the eyes. I could feel my senses tingling. I had to compose my mind. Everything I should say must favor my situation and not feed his desires of wanting my case to be diminished.
Ramdam ko ang paninitig niya sa'kin hanggang sa matapos kong sabihin ang oath. Bawat yapak ko patungo sa aking upuan ay ramdam na ramdam ko ang mabibigat kong hakbang at emosyon.
Breathe, Kayleigh. Wala kang kasalanan. You can get through this.
"State your name for the record," the Prosecutor started habang mataam akong tinititigan na para bang kilalang-kilala niya 'ko.
I let out a deep breath. "Lastienjaren Kayleigh Los Quiros,"
"And what is your relationship with the victim?" He tossed his head into looking at me.
"She was..." napatingin ako kay Islear na nakadungaw lang sa'kin. I returned my gaze back to the Prosecutor na halatang nasiyahan ang nakita. I saw how he smirked devilishly, making me want to slit his lips off. What? He'll also use it against me to create a fucking plausible story?
"She was my former partner's girlfriend," tinatagan ko ang aking ekspresyon. I don't want him to think that he could make a toy of me just because he thinks he's got the upper hand.
"And what does it feel like being a subject to crashing a relationship?" Lumawak ang kaniyang ngisi.
What the fuck is wrong with him?! Is he fucking pointing out that I am a homewrecker?!
"Objection, Your Honor. Irrelevance," Meg gritted her teeth na para bang malalim ang galit nito sa Prosec.
"I'm sorry, Your Honor, let me change the question," he smiled before turning to the folder he was holding. "When you were in a relationship with Mr. Llorenton, what was he like?"
I held out a small breath.
"He was a great partner,"
"How about your relationship with him?"
"Our relationship went on great. I don't even have a memory of us fighting,"
"You do, but what about with the victim?" He played a video on screen at kumunot naman ang noo ko. A cctv footage sa Ospital. "You could see how the accused pulled the approaching victim's hair down with her on the floor. The accused instigated the fight with the victim."
No...
It was a misunderstanding...
It was when I bought Islear's Lola at the Hospital! There was... Mayen! She was aiming her designer bag at me at mariin niya 'kong sinugod at nung pipigilan ko sana siya'y nahimatay ako kaya napahawak nalang ako sa buhok niya't natangay siya kasabay ng pagdausdos ng katawan ko sa sa sahig.
The video was cut! It wasn't seen how Mayen aimed her bag at me at mas itinuon sa part na nahila ko yung buhok niya... but it wasn't clear to them na nahimatay ko nu'ng oras na 'yon dahil natatakpan ang mukha ko ng mahabang buhok niya!
Napatingin ako kay Meg para humingi ng tulong. Shit. Nanginginig ako.
I could see how bewildered she is dahil hindi niya alam na may gano'ng video. I too... I didn't thought that the footage existed! My face fell warm and ramdam kong papaaiyak na 'ko
Everyone's looking at me.
They shot me with heavy eyes... looking at me like a horrendous criminal who's guilty of the act.
I knew they misunderstood the video.
Tangina.
I unintentionally roamed my gaze around... feeling scared.
I was hoping I could find a pair of eyes to look at me without any hint of judgment...
And there was one.
"Did you instigated that fight with the victim after finding out about her relationship with Mr. Llorenton?" The Prosecutor asked.
Napabalik ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Mariin kong ipinikit ang aking mga mata. Calm down, Kayleigh.
"No."
He smirked before he got something at inilahad ito sa Judge. "Forensics results showed that the victim had a bald spot on her head, on the left side, as a result of a strong pull of the hair. If you weren't pouring out your anger over knowing something that could ruin your relationship with Mr. Llorenton, the intensity of you pulling the victim's hair wouldn't lead to her acquiring a bald spot on her hair, Ms. Los Quiros."
Natahimik ako. I was mummified. What if hindi 'yon dahil sa paghila? It could be other reasons! Hindi gano'n kalakas yung paghila ko sa buhok niya dahil kung gano'n, I would still have strands of her hair on my hand nung nagising ako mula sa pagkaka-ospital pero wala.
"The accused has shown a matter of harming the victim that inflicted self harm." The Prosecutor went closer to intimidate me and he successfully did. Halos maupos ako sa kinauupuan. It was obvious who had the upper hand sa sitwasyon naming dalawa. "Thus, she can also plan and execute her death perfectly, driven by her anger against the victim. She was able to lay a hand on the victim and applying her knowledge about medicines made it easier for her to get rid of the victim as a matter of ceasing her anger. I rest my case, Your Honor."
I look to Meg, hoping I could gather a brand new hope from her. Nanginginig ang aking mga paa. Shit. It was fine yesterday, akala ko okay na... and now this? Tangina!
Mabubulok ba talaga ako sa kulungan?
Would I serve in jail for a crime I didn't even commit?
Mabagal ang oras bago tumayo si Meg at in-interrogate ako. I was afraid... and she knew. Gusto ko nang umalis sa kinauupuan ko. I wanted to run away... away from all this.
"Where were you on the day of the crime?" She began after heaving a deep breath.
"I was..." I was certain I was at work... at nabalitaan ko yung nangyari nung nasa condo na 'ko. "I was at work."
"The entire time?" She urged, pulling her head down a bit.
Reluctantly, I nodded my head slowly. "Yes,"
She asked me a few more questions hanggang sa magpatawag siya ng witness. Natatakot akong lumingon sa kung sino man 'yon at doon lang nakahinga ng maluwang nang makita si Dr. Ybanez na tumayo at sinaad ang oath.
"State your name,"
"Martin Ybanez,"
"How are you related to the client?"
"She works under me at the Lab. Well, technically, I'm the head of the lab, that's why she works under me." Dr. Ybanez smiled childlikely.
"Are you always at the lab?"
"Yes. Kailangang magrounds to check kung may mga kailangan ba o problema sa lab kaya kailangang nandu'n ako araw-araw."
"On the day of the crime, Friday, did you see my client on duty?"
Sandali siyang tumigil para mag-isip. Nagkatitigan kami. I closed my eyes. Only God knows how much I prayed na sana sabihin niyang nakita niya 'ko sa lab... kahit wala man ako... or, I don't know, hindi ko na alam sa sarili ko kung nasa trabaho ba talaga ako nung araw na 'yon. Everything just went on so fast that haven't grasp anything.
Dr. Ybanez slowly nods his head. "Yes. I remember giving her a pile of paperwork to finish, following the leave she asked for."
"Leave?" Meg's brows furrowed.
Nakita ko kung paano umangat ang kilay ng Prosec. Fucking asshole! Halatang iniisip niyang magl-leave ako dahil ako nga yung pumatay kay Mayen! I honestly want to grab him by the collar and punch him in the face!
"Personal matters," Dr. Ybanez looks at my side, giving me a consoling smile. "Dra. Los Quiros wanted to visit his brother who's almost graduating from College kaya siya humingi ng leave. She is really hard working, kaya hindi ako nagdalawang-isip na payagan siya. I couldn't even recall the last time she asked for a leave. Few years back, I think? She is really hands-on with her work and stands with her principles."
Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti. I just... didn't know na ganu'n pala ang tingin sa'kin ni Dr. Ybanez. I really look up to him. He was like the Father figure I've been seeking from my Dad.
"She stands with her principles? Could you please elaborate?"
"Well, Kayleigh isn't the type who easily gets driven away with someone's ideologies. She isn't easily influenced. She stands in her principles with conviction at kapag salungat ang isang bagay rito, then she won't really adhere to it. She stands firm on what she believes. On what she think's right and the truth." Dr. Ybanez's face plastered a reminiscing look.
Meg nods her head before showing a video on the screen. "Supporting the witness' testimonies, here is the CCTV footage on Friday at the Laboratory where my client works."
It was the CCTV on the hallway. Makikitang pabalik-balik ako mula sa lab patungong office dahil sa mga pumapasok na pasyente. I also looked constantly tired kaya minsa'y napapa-strech pa ako ng aking katawan tuwing napapahinto ako sa gitna ng hallway.
"My client also wore flat shoes on that day, in contrary to the heels print found on the crime scene." Meg zoomed on the part where I was walking passed by the CCTV. "My client has now claimed her alibi on the day of the crime supported by evidence and the witness' testimony. There weren't also heels found on her office nor traces of their prints and so as in her car. According to the witness, my client stands with her principles— to what's truth and what's right. She is a woman of principles herself and adhering alongside evil isn't her. My client was never at the crime scene, thus, she is illegible of the crime that was being pointed at her with merely accusations and lack of evidentiary support. I rest my case, Your Honor."
Huminga ako ng malalim. I look at Meg going back to my side confidently at nang tumingin siya sa'kin ay tinanguhan niya'ko, looking like she wanted me to be confident like herself that we'll win this case. She held my hand and gave me a smile.
"We'll get you out," sambit niya.
I was holding on to everything she's told me. Simula noong first trial hanggang ngayon. I knew she also holds on to her words. This has been a hell of series we've went through... At ayokong masayang lang ang lahat ng pinaghirapan nila mailabas ako kapag hindi namin maipanalo ang kaso.
I can't imagine myself being in jail for something I didn't even do.
Minsan, iniisip ko nalang na sana yung taong may gawa nito'y magpapakita at aakuin yung kalasanan niya para matapos na 'to... Or that magbabayad nalang kami sa kung sinumang nangangailangan ng pera para siya yung makulong at hindi ako... But I also didn't want to take years from an innocent person because it would be the same as me admitting na ako nga 'yung may kasalanan at pinadali ko lang 'yong proseso ng paglabas ko.
Patience, Kayleigh. Makakalabas ka rin.
Napalingon ako kay Lincoln nang bigla niya 'kong akbayan. He tapped my neck lightly. "You're good. Last trail tomorrow and you'll be perfectly fine then."
I forced myself to smile and nod my head nang bigla nalang napalingon sa kaniyang likuran, looking for a particular person, para halos media nalang ang natitira sa courtroom...
"We'll grab you something to eat." Meg was all smiles when she helped me up and gathered all her things.