Ella's POV
Derick and I had worked yesterday well into the time the sun was setting on the raft. We had stopped working when we couldn't see where things were being placed or tied to. We had walked the beach, catching small prey we stumbled across. Warmth filled my cheeks as I remembered the events of last night.
We sat next to each other, enjoying the warmth of the fire underneath the clear night sky. Stars danced and twinkled in the sky, and I pointed out constellations to Derick. Glancing periodically at him, he had met my gaze with focused interest. I smiled at his attention, and
"What's that set of stars over there?" Derick asked, his arm moving over top of my face, pointing to a cluster. I followed his gaze to the bright stars.
"To the far right, that's Sagittarius- my birthday sign. If we move left across the sky, there's is Grus, which I'd like to think is shaped like a flamingo. Where the moon is low in the sky, that's Taurus."
"Your birthday sign? When's your birthday?" he asked.
"It's probably less than a month away at this point, but November 28th."
"Regardless if we're still here, or back in New York, I'll make sure your day is special," he declared with a smile on his face.
"Oh, no! I don't celebrate my birthday, I haven't in years. It's just a day." I assured. Emilia usually did something small, but she knew how I felt about the day. I definitely didn't need Derick going out of his way for me.
"You deserve to be treated like a queen. I promise I won't go all out, and if it's 'just a day' then it won't matter, right?" He spoke lowly, casting a glance my way.
Treated like a queen? I treat myself, never needing a man... but the way he said it made my pulse spike. Knowing that he would forget my birthday surely by the time it came around, I agreed." Okay, but nothing too crazy."
"I promise. Now, when I look at the night sky, it's just a blur of different stars, but you know their names. You're so educated about them. Was there any particular reason?"
"As I child, I always loved the stars. My bedroom was even inspired by the universe. It was my fathers passion that influenced me. One time, in Massachusetts where I'm from, I remember he took me to a planetarium. It was simply the most magical experience I had ever experienced in my life. From then on, it became my hidden passion to follow the stars-"
"You're beautiful."
"W-what?" I choked over my own words as he had cut me off. Me? Beautiful?
"I said that you're beautiful, Ella. The world we find ourselves in is like the night sky, it's bleak, full of void, and you are like the radiant stars, sharing your light for those to marvel in. I don't mean that in any strange way... but it's just you and your character. You have a beautiful soul."
"I..." I had no words. I stared wide-eyed at Derick, and he stared back at me. The firelight danced within his eyes. Derick leaned closer, and my eyes fluttered shut. The thought of being kissed by Derick filled me with excitement and nervousness. I leaned in ever so slightly, but his lips didn't connect with mine, they connected with my forehead instead.
His lips lingered there for a moment. Despite the salted air, his lips were soft like velvet, the contact was like electricity twisting through my nerves like blooming vines. They wrapped around my heart, constricting it in place. My eyelids fluttered like doves catching flight.
Derick's lips left my forehead, and I relished in the warm afterburn of his kiss. I leaned back, and met his eyes. I flicked between them, searching for the answers he had hidden within the depth of his eyes to the questions I couldn't dare to ask.
"Just remember that." Derick said, his finger brushing against my right cheek before he stood up, and put more wood on the fire, leaving me plastered in place.
I tightened the last vines securing the wood to one another as the memory faded. Derick was securing the cushions in place. It was no yacht by any means, but it was big enough for Derick and I to fit on... snuggly. Looking back to the tiny shelter, fire, and small supplies we had gathered, my stomach sunk.
Derick and I had been stranded here for days now. Everything that we had worked so hard to get from scratch was in my view. It wasn't much looking in, but every tiny detail was crafted by Derick's and I's determination. Could it be possible to wait and maybe someone would come to get us?
No, I didn't want to start having second thoughts. Derick was willing to do this because of my idea. I didn't want to start second guessing myself now that we had come this far. I stood back with my hands on my hip. Derick stood next to me at nearly the same time, copying me.
"Are you ready to set sail?" Derick asked.
"Aye aye captain," I answered, smiling at him. He smiled down at me, and there it was: those green eyes that were portals. His eyes shone in the sunlight. His skin, blemished, and too adored by the sun's kiss was still so handsome. Any imperfection he had only pulled me in. The way he looked at me, could fill the sky with more stars than God himself.
The warm grainy sand was displaced beneath my feet as the cool water lapped around my ankles. The pulling of the current sunk my feet into place. Derick stepped closer to me, the ocean waves crashing on the shore overpowered the thumping sensation in my chest and ears. I followed him with my eyes. Every imperfection of myself, he didn't seem to mind as his hand gently brushed against my cheek. Even in the warm sun, the chills of his touch ran down the base of my neck to my spine.
His thumb gently grazed the tops of my ear as he put a rouge hair behind it. My body betrayed my mind as my head leaned gently into his touch. His calloused hand cradled my face as his thumb rubbed over my cheek. I let out a shaky breath I had been holding for too long as my eyes slowly found themselves shutting.
"I don't know what I'm doing," Derick whispered. My eyes were still shut. I was afraid that if I opened them, this moment- whatever it was- would fall out of existence. The feeling of his breath tickled my ear.
"What are you about to do?" I asked even quieter, maybe less than a whisper. I knew I had caught myself having debauched thoughts that I would keep internally, but when Derick was this close, my inhibitions left, and I wanted nothing more than to fall into the snare I saw coming.
"Ella, there's nothing more that I'd want to do than kiss you," his warmth pulled away from me, and the chill of his absence took charge. "But I can't."
The heartbeat in my chest that couldn't stop beating at the thought of almost kissing Derick had ceased its seizure. He wanted to kiss me, but couldn't?
"Why?" I asked, finally opening my eyes, but not looking at him, but the sand below. He kissed my forehead. He gave me signs that maybe he... liked me? I should have left it alone at his words, but I didn't want to. Every moment here, both of us were guilty. I knew I wasn't the only one with the thoughts.
"What happens when we get back to the real world? We're not going to be stranded forever, and I don't want to complicate things. I don't want to mess with the goals you or I have set for ourselves," he said, frowning.
Then why had he kissed my forehead last night? Why is he tender with any moment he has come in contact with my skin? Those questions permeated my brain for a moment, and then no more. Although I didn't want him to be right, he was. What was I thinking? The reality of our current situation would be coming to an end, and what room in my life would I have for a relationship? In some sort of castaway romance, sure. Whatever I felt for Derick would pass. This was just the environment we found ourselves in: all we had here was each other, and whatever I felt was a mistake.
"You're right." I conceded. I raked my closed fisted fingers against my palms as I looked to the ocean. I felt embarrassed for questioning further. Of course this was just a biological feeling, nothing more.
"Let's go and get some food together, and after we'll see how she floats." Derick advised, and began walking back to our camp. I stayed grounded in the sand, looking into the expanse of blue sea that we would sail out upon.
Later on in the day, after Derick and I had arranged some small materials to take with us. I had gathered a small makeshift canister of water as I had done in the past with leaves, and we got prepared for the unknown yet again. Derick had etched our initials into the tree in the event anyone found the island we used to survive on, and the day we crashed in the event someone would ever stumble upon it. We finished eating our small caught meal, and were now standing near our raft.
"We'll need to let it coast along the shoreline to the other side." I instructed.
"Let's get her into the water then." He agreed. We lifted the raft closer to the shoreline. This would be the first time we had seen it in the water. I wasn't even sure if it would float, but we could fix it once we knew for certain. The two of us lifted the raft into the water. Derick kept a hold of it as he brought it in the water. The waves lapped against my upper body, making it more difficult to keep it in the water. Everything seemed to be going according to plan as the raft seemed to be floating fine, but how would it work with our body weight?
"Let me help you up." Derick suggested. I opened my mouth to tell him I'd be okay with that, but our conversation earlier in the day made me hold it inside. I didn't want his hands around me, lifting me onto the raft. My mind traveled to the other ways his hands could be gripped around my body. I shook my head at him instead, and gave him a half smile. I brought my body to the splintery wood and lifted myself up. My feet stayed in the water, while my majority of my body was on top. I felt the sharp stabs of the wood in my abdomen. The structure seemed to support my body weight just fine.
Derick joined me on top in a similar fashion, and the raft dipped and sunk, but stayed afloat. The support of the sticks and similar material wouldn't have been able to keep us both supported, but the cushions seemed to be providing the extra resilience to our added weight. Derick's arm brushed against mine momentarily, and like electricity, I snatched my arm away on instinct. Derick looked in my direction at my motion, and I gave a sheepish smile.
"I just felt a sharp piece of wood, my bad," I quickly lied. Derick grabbed my arm before I could grasp the motion, and flipped it over.
"I'm glad you're not hurt. I don't see a splinter." He inspected. His fingers felt like the singe of flames as they explored my arm, searching.
I pulled my arm away, a bit more forceful than I'd like to have.
"I'm fine Derick." I snapped, and Derick recoiled his hand. I sighed, wishing I hadn't reacted to him like that. His touch felt like fire, and if I was to lose this silly mindset about him that I had, I would need him to stop touching me so I could forget.
Even if I didn't want to.
"Are you ready to move this to the other side of the island?" Derick asked, my tone not seeming to have an effect on him.
"Yeah, let me go and grab some things back at the shelter, and then I'll be back."
I slipped off of the raft and into the water. I rung out my skirt as I made it on shore. Once at our shelter, I gathered the items I had prepared earlier, and smothered the fire. The smokey ash overwhelmed my senses. I blinked through the burning, and reminisced of just how hard it was to obtain it. Taking one final look at everything we had been surviving with, I made my way back to where Derick was.
I placed the items on top of the raft, "Let's head there now before the day slips away from us." I suggested.
Derick and I both worked getting the raft along the outskirts of the island. The waves frequently knocked the raft into me, stabbing at my sides. Derick took charge being in front, and I was just stuck looking at his back. Without his suit jacket on, and the wet white button up, I could really see everything. The defined lines of his muscles that my eyes seemed trained to find, I couldn't help but stare.
Derick turned his head, and I quickly averted my gaze, "We shouldn't be much further... but are you sure you want to go through with this?"
I licked my chapped lips. I was worried my plan wouldn't work at all. I was worried I'd get us both even more stranded than we were before. I was worried about being lost at sea, dying in the middle of nowhere.
But, I didn't voice any of those concerns. We had already gotten this far, and I was determined we would get rescued. I wanted to take my future into my own hands. My childhood- if it could be called that- impacted the way I lived now. I was a sad, angry child with no control of my mothers repulsive parenting. I had to play the cards I was given, and now, I was older, wiser, and in control.
"Yes, I am."
The two of us continued to fight against the waves and the uneven ground, until the island we would be sailing to came into sight. We pulled the raft ashore, and I sat at the edge of the water. I dug my feet into the sand and wiped the sweat from my brow. Derick came and sat next to me. I took a small sip of the water, and passed it to Derick without glancing at him. He quietly took it, and continued to stare ahead. His fingertips brushed ghostly against my own in the sand, and I tried to still the bubble in my throat.
I wouldn't get distracted by the hurricane in my heart. Derick could never be in my reach, never in my grasps, because life- the normal- would return, and he would be Mr. Pierce, and I would be Ms. Brooks, just as it had always been.
But what of now? With everything that's happened? Everything we had been through together?
Derick stood, and reached his hand out to help me up, but I didn't take it. Avoiding as much contact with him as I could manage was the best way to let go of what my heart was holding onto.
How could it hold onto something that was never there?
Derick looked at me as I rose, with a guilty look in his eyes. I gave a small smile, and brushed the sand off of myself.
"What name should we give our vessel?" Derick asked. I glanced at the vessel, and pondered.
"Bahama Mama," I suggested with a shrug, Derick laughed and the surge of my heart returned. The corners of his eyes creased, and I couldn't help but chuckle with him.
"Bahama Mama," He repeated, "I like that name. Very fitting. Let's get across the water then."
I nodded, and joined him by Bahama Mama, Derick laid his suit jacket flat, and I did the same with mine. Derick allowed me to get on first, and he began pushing the raft into the water. The waves and sea winds kissed my face as we rocked against the tide and when he couldn't push anymore, he pulled himself on top. I held onto the few belongings we brought and then we began to drift.
We used our feet to propel us through the water. The waves were rouge, and rough, and there were countless times I had to grip the raft to not slip off. Looking back, I realized just how far we had come, and how tiny our island was becoming. The longer we continued our pursuit to the other island, the more its details became more prominent. Squinting, I feel like I could make out houses of some kind!
I began to paddle harder, chills ran through me. "Derick, I think people live on that island!" I exclaimed. Finally! The heartache, trauma, struggle, all of it, was over, and we would be saved. Derick joined me in our hurried attempts. It seemed we were getting closer, but what I could see felt like it was shifting to the left. I blinked away the illusion. We continued to kick, striving for the island, but it seemed no matter how hard we tried, the island wasn't getting closer anymore.
"We're drifting!" Derick sucked in a breath. We were drifting sideways, and not getting any closer to the island. I looked back, and the other smaller island was becoming obscure, the fine details muting. My stomach sunk as Derick and I continued scrambling to get to the island. My stomach sunk at the realization of what would happen if we didn't make it.
"Help!" I cried out, waving my free arm in the air, hoping someone could see.
Derick joined in, yelling out over the water. In the commotion of us shaking the raft, the only source of freshwater had rolled into the water, I reached for it, but I slipped off of the raft. I screamed as I tumbled into the chilled blue water. My whole body was submerged, and I panicked, taking in a mouthful of seawater. I kicked to get to the surface, coughing the burning salt water out.
"Ella, grab ahold!" Derick cried out. I had become disoriented in the water and I had to turn around to find Derick. He was holding out the spear, leaning nearly completely over the raft. I swam against the waves that splashed my face. How had he drifted so far already? I dipped under the water again as another wave crashed over me, and I was thrown into another whirlpool of pressure. Fighting for air, I was grabbed around my waist, and pulled to the surface. Derick had one hand around my waist, and the other holding onto the raft.
He pushed me on top of the raft, and I laid on my stomach, coughing and dry heaving. He hit my back, trying to alleviate my choking. I laid my head down on the rough wooden surface, catching my breath.
"Ella, don't ever scare me like that again." Derick demanded as he continued to rub my back. There was anger in his voice, but I could also sense his fear. He gently moved my wet hair out of my eyes, and I opened them to look at him.
Derick sighed. "We're fucked," he seethed. I had never heard him speak with such malice, even when we had argued. I turned to look the other way that he nodded his head to. My stomach sank at the view, two islands between us, and neither one of them in our grasp.
We were drifting further into the sea, and no amount of swimming would get us there.