Calum
"Oh my god,"
Charlie clattered her cutlery down mid meal and started to cry uncontrollably. Unsure of if it was about the babies, I moved closer to her, gently rubbing her arm.
"What's wrong honey?"
"My nanny's favourite flower was daisies,"
"Awh, it is lovely that you got some daisy things today then,"
"No. Well yes, but I asked her for a sign earlier and I think she is giving me a sign? Maybe?"
"Maybe!"
"I asked her for one,"
"Yeah," I said quietly, "What was it about?"
"Secret,"
"Okay,"
"I will wait for another one first,"
I passed her back her fork, and lifted my plate to my new seat, then ate with her leant in my side. Being 17, almost 18, was a while back for me, but I knew it confusing and stressful a lot of the time. I didn't blame her for asking for signs. It was always easier to believe someone else was telling you what to do than decide yourself.
After we had finished eating, I cleaned up and we ended up on the sofa watching some tv. I was enjoying being able to comfort her a bit more by hugging her, and fussing over her, because that was always how I liked to show love. Plus, Gabi was one of the clingiest people I had ever met, Axel too, so it felt normal to me to be able to help that way.
"Shut up,"
"What?"
She grabbed the remote and rewinded, pausing the tv. We were watching some sort of gameshow, and it had showed and old tv scene which is what she stopped on. She stared at it for a few moments, then looked at me, and back at the tv.
"I think you are my dad,"
"Oh right,"
"That is my nanny. She used to be an extra. Look. Right there,"
"She looks like you,"
"I forgot she did this. I have no photos of her. I think she sent me to you so you could be my dad,"
"Well I am very honoured,"
"If you made the cut you should be,"
She got up and stood closer to it, then gently touched the screen, sighing.
"You are my dad,"
I chuckled a bit, and she turned round, folding her arms.
"I am serious!"
"I know. I would love to be your dad,"
"Really?"
"Yeah,"
"Okay, good. I think you will be a good dad, and I think you give me lots of nice things and have a nice house. I always used to complain about her cooking too so I am glad she found me a good cook,"
"Not a house, it is home,"
"Yeah,"
She sat back down and hugged me tightly, letting me stroke her hair as she pressed her head against my chest. I had always wanted this kind of bond in my life, deep down. What I had with Gabi and Axel was nice, but this was different, and I knew Ash has felt the same when he met his kids.
"I love you," I said, "I promise you will never feel like you have to go back to the things you did before, and I promise I will always be here to talk to,"
"I know. I love you too,"
"I am so glad this home has worked out for you, honey. You are such an amazing person, and I hope you remember that!"
"Can you tuck me in to bed?"
"Come on then,"
I followed her upstairs and she brushed her teeth, then I tucked her in and shut her curtains.
"Goodnight,"
"Goodnight, dad,"
As I shut her door, I smiled, then did a little run to my own bed and jumped on. I couldn't help but feel giddy. I wanted to call Mike and tell him, but I knew she would hear, and didn't want it to come across the wrong way, so I just texted him.
Earlier, it had upset me that she didn't have any photos of her nanny, so I went back and found out what she was an extra in, and searched it for some more photos. It took a bit of digging, but I found some pretty decent ones. I decided to get a locket made for her with a couple of them in- she sounded like she had been a good caregiver to Charlie.
Michael and I texted for a while, then I decided to get some sleep. Before Charlie came, I was pretty used to sleeping with guests who left the next day, but I knew that if I was in the house alone now, it would just feel wrong. Her presence had really changed this place, and even though she physically hadn't left an imprint on the home yet, mentally she had. I was looking forward to this being forever.
Unfortunately, she had a bit of a difficult night. She said her back was hurting, and she couldn't seem to get comfy, so I gently rubbed her back each time until she fell asleep. With me being off work now, I could work a bit more on her terms, and I definitely wanted to make sure she slept. I did accidentally fall asleep next to her, but she didn't see to mind considering I woke up to the whole bed rearranged just so she could lay with her head against my chest.
At the start, she had let me look after her of course, but I knew she had been hesitant to fully let herself relax and hand her care over to me. I was glad I had her trust and would make sure not to break it.
It was a shame we had an appointment in the morning, we both could've done with more sleep, but we both decided to go in our pyjamas because it didn't really matter. She ate her toast on the way, and begrudgingly drank the water in the waiting room.
"Good morning,"
"Not good,"
"What's up!"
"I didn't sleep," she told Cleo, starting to tear up, "I am tired,"
"Oh bless you sweetheart. Why couldn't you sleep?"
"My back really hurt,"
"I am sorry to hear that, we will try and figure out a solution. Shall we see how babies are doing?"
"Pissing me off,"
I helped her sit down, and sat beside her, holding her hand. If you googled 'fed up' then a photo of her would appear for sure, but I did my best to oppose her mood and offer her some smiles.
"Charlie, have you felt any other pain?"
"In my thighs a bit,"
"Okay. Would it be okay if I did an exam?"
"Is something wrong? Are they not breathing?"
"They are perfectly okay, but I think they are trying to make a bit of an early entrance!"
"But they aren't ready,"
"Don't worry yet, you will be surprised how amazing medicine is!"
"Is that true, dad?"
"Yeah. Why don't you put your gown on, and I can leave the room in this bit if you'd like?"
"Yes please,"
"Okay. Cleo will help you out. It will all be okay!"
I kissed her forehead and helped her up, then left the room, leaning against the wall as I waited. It took about ten minutes, and I was trying to suppress the stress because this was not ideal. Thankfully, I had full faith in Cleo, so was happy when I was let back in.
"Okie dokie. It looks like they wanna start exploring the world already, but this is going to be okay," she said, gently holding Charlie's hand, "We are gonna get you admit, and give you a few medications to prepare the twins, and see how long we can keep them in there,"
"Still a c-section?"
"Yep. We will check in with you all the time, which will seem annoying, but we we make sure we choose the best time,"
"I am scared,"
"You know, you were born this early too," she said.
"Really?"
"Yep. I saw it on your chart. Once the twins are here, they will go in a nice little incubator so they keep growing. There are some risks of course, but from our scans they both seem really healthy,"
"Can you give me medicine for me as well?"
"Of course,"
"Okay,"
"You have done all you can do, so now it is my turn to look after you and the babies. It's a waiting game now,"