His knuckles are white against the steering wheel.
I knew something was wrong as soon as I woke up. Asher was sitting on the chair in his room, across from where I was sleeping just staring at the floor.
He looked like he was deep in thought- not even noticing I was awake until I said something.
Asher looked startled when I spoke, like something had scared him. What could possibly scare Asher?
I decided to brush past it, assuming that he was just tired.
He seemed in a rush to get us out of the house though, saying that he wanted to go out for breakfast through his teeth.
Asher rushed me out the door before I could even get dressed, chucking his hoodie at me and telling me that it doesn't matter what I wear.
I did what he even thought I was confused, trusting him.
He barely spoke to me until we got in the car, where I asked him where we were going.
"This place out of town. You'll love it."
He again, seemed tense and aggravated when he said it so I didn't say anything else, I just nodded and put on some music.
I have been staring out the window the entire drive.
He is gripping the steering wheel so hard and his posture is rigid and tense. I want to ask him what is wrong, but old thoughts creep in and I fear that he will get angry at me.
I must have done something wrong. I rack my brain through yesterday and the day before, trying to dig up something that he could be mad about.
Maybe he is annoyed that I made him sleep on the couch yet again. I tried to decline last night but he wouldn't budge. I probably should've tried harder to let him sleep. I internally scold myself for being so selfish.
We have been driving for awhile, and the time reads 10AM. We have been driving for about an hour- where is he taking me?
Another 5 minutes go by and we finally reach what looks like a small town, and Asher pulls into the parking lot of a small cafe. It looks like it is made up entirely of timber wood, and has a huge sign that reads 'Winner of the best pancakes in America.'
The car stops and I look to Asher, waiting for him to leave the car first. His eyes are trained in front of him, unmoving.
I can't get my thoughts to slow down. I've never seen Asher angry. What if he gets violent?
No, he won't. Asher wouldn't.
I'm only worrying myself further with these thoughts so I try to block them out. Whatever happens can't be worse than what I've already endured with Logan.
He takes a deep breath and exits the car, coming over to my side and opening my door for me. This minor action reminds me that even though his mood changed, Asher is still Asher.
I smile at him and he gives a small one back, clearly struggling.
We go into the restaurant and the smell of sugar and syrup immediately enters my nostrils. I'm not complaining though. It reminds me of freshly baked cookies.
Asher sits down at a booth in the corner and I follow him, sitting down across from where he is.
I want to scoot closer to him and take his hand. I know that is what he would do if he could tell I was feeling anxious.
The silence is loud, but not awkward. I can tell that Asher doesn't want to talk, and I respect that.
So I decide to say whatever stupid thing comes to my mind.
"This place better be worth the drive. I'm starving." I pick up a menu and Asher chuckles softly at me.
"Yeah. I came here on the way in from New York, and it was super good."
I want to ask him why we are so far out from home. But I am fighting a battle in my head, not knowing if I should or not.
Fuck it. What's the worst that can happen?
"How come we are so far from home just to eat?" Asher tenses.
"Let's just get some food. It's really good."
He's avoiding the question.
Don't push Amira. He just likes the food.
But I can't brush this gut feeling that something else is wrong. I try to ignore it and look at the menu. The menu is different types of pancakes, milkshakes and other junk food items. Old thoughts creep in and I sigh.
I try to scan the menu for the thing with the least calories, but figure out everything is very similar and extremely calorie dense. I shouldn't be struggling with this. I left this behind when Logan left.
Old habits die hard.
"What are you going to get?" I ask, trying to distract myself from my scrambled brain.
Asher doesn't respond, again looking lost in thought.
"Asher?"
He shakes his head like he is regaining consciousness and looks at me with an uninterested look. "Sorry, what?"
"I said, what are you planning to get?"
"Oh, sorry. I'm gonna get the monster pancakes. You should too, they are really good." He gives me a soft smile and I want to melt.
"Okay, I will." I agree with him immediately, wanting to improve his poor mood. His face brightens at my response but quickly goes back to an anxious one.
The waitress comes over soon after, a middle aged lady with red hair and matching lipstick. She has a thick Irish accent and more enthusiasm I've ever had.
"What can I get ya youngins?" I can barely understand her, but I hold my giggle in as to not be disrespectful.
Asher tells her what he wants and looks over to me, but I am distracted so he just orders for me. Ordering always makes me anxious for some reason, so it's nice to know he will do it for me without judging or making a big deal of it.
I talk about random things waiting for the food, and he doesn't give me much back. My heart sinks further at every one worded answer, and I end up just giving up and slouching down in my seat.
Maybe it is just me. He's probably sick of me by now.
Thankfully our food comes, silencing my thoughts.
The plate that is placed in front of me is huge, and it dawns on me that there is no way I will be able to finish it.
Asher digs in and I take small bites of the identical dish in front of me, picking at the fruit on top of the pancakes.
Once we finish with not much talking done, Asher takes the check without even thinking. I try to get it back from him but he gives his card to the waitress before I can protest.
I give him a look of defeat and he just smiles.
"I'm paying next time." We start to walk out of the restaurant and my voice has a playful tone.
"Not on my watch." He opens my door to prove his point, and I shake my head knowing that I can't say anything to change his mind.
I get in the car and he shuts my door before running to his side of the car. He gets in, a serious look on his face and turns to face me.
My worry immediately returns as he takes my hand in his and looks into my eyes.
"Amira, something happened this morning that I need to tell you about." He begins, squeezing my hand a couple times and his eyes not leaving mine.
I nod, urging him to continue.
"Before I say, I want you to know that I will always protect you. Whatever it takes." He gives me a small smile.
Anxiety, curiosity and confusion is all I feel right now. Asher takes a deep breath.
"I saw Logan this morning. I saw him on my run, and he sat down next to me and asked if I knew you. I told him that you were on a trip with your dad and that we were merely acquaintances."
My heart stops when I hear his name. My eyes widen. Panic starts to creep in. I can't hear anything. I can't see anything. I can't breathe.
Logan.
Logan.
Logan.
"No, no, no he can't be back." I am shaking my head and tears fall out of my eyes as I struggle to get my breathing under control.
"He can't be back! You don't understand, he's going to hurt me." I look to Asher with tear filled eyes and a helpless look on my face.
He looks heartbroken, and a tear falls out of his eye just looking at me.
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
I feel like I'm dying.
I dig my nails into my scalp to ground myself and bite my lip as hard as I can.
I don't even notice when Asher gets out of the car and comes over to my side. He opens my door and brings my head to his chest, cradling my body gently.
Logan can't be back. This can't be happening. He's going to be so mad at me. He's going to kill me.
I continue to sob, ruining Ashers shirt and he just keeps holding me and rubbing my back with a soft and comforting feel.
"I won't let him hurt you baby." It doesn't bother me that he just called me baby for the first time, it only brings me more reassurance. I realise that there is no one else I would chose to comfort me during this moment, and that Asher is somehow doing everything right.
My sobs turn into hiccups and sniffles, and I pull away from Asher, embarrassed at the tear stains on his shirt.
"I'm so so-" Asher interupts me straight away.
"Do not say you're sorry. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for." He keeps his voice soft and calming which I am grateful for. Asher keeps his hands on my arms, stroking them gently.
I slump back into the passenger seat and he starts to walk over to his side of the car.
"He doesn't know that you're staying with me. Nothing bad is going to happen to you Mira."
I just nod, not feeling like talking and look out the window as he pulls away from the diner.
Asher finds my hand and intertwines our fingers, which I smile at despite the circumstances. I roll the window down and rest my head on the car door.
Asher makes me believe everything will be okay.
I don't know what I would do without Asher.
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HOLA LOVELIESSS! I'm so sorry I haven't updated, I've been at camp lol. I love this chapter so much but it's also so so so sad. I will update soon.
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TELL ME WHAT U THINK OF THE BOOK SO FAR!! 😘😘