SENA'S POV
Everybody moved on, but I'm still standing in the hospital lobby, staring at Hana and Ujin hugging each other like they're in love. I'm numb, too numb to react or feel anything. I feel a lump form in my throat, threatening to choke me whenever I think of him, of the broken promises and betrayal. It's like a knife twisting in my chest, a constant ache that refuses to go away. I thought I knew him, thought I understood his heart. But now, I realize I never truly did. How could he have led me on like that, only to throw it all away? I want to scream, to lash out at them, to demand answers. But what good would it do? They've made their choice, and I'm left alone and broken.
I spend two days at home, eating junk food and crying myself to sleep. At this point, I don't care about putting on weight though I know I'm going to regret it later on, but I just can't bring myself to care about that when my love life is crumbling in front of me.
Luckily for me, my schedule for these two days was relatively clear, allowing me to wallow in my misery without any major obligations. But the third day comes and Heeseung calls. Saying I was surprised would be an understatement. I was in shock, to say the least. Horse riding? I didn't think the Lee Heeseung would call me and ask me to go horse riding with him, but he did, and now I'm sitting in the passenger seat beside him, fidgeting with my fingers as I stare outside the window.
I haven't told him about Ujin and honestly? I'm not planning to. Not yet, anyway. It's still too raw, too painful to even think about. And besides, what good would it do? He's only going to say that he told me, just like everyone else did, that Ujin is a piece of shit and I was the one who was too blinded to see it. No, I'll keep my pain to myself for now. It's not like Heeseung needs to know anyway. We're just two people in a fake marriage, going horse riding. Nothing more, nothing less.
Thought it feels weird to have someone else plan something like this for me. Usually, I'm the one who plans dates with Ujin and I'm the one who takes charge of my own life. But here I am, letting Heeseung take the reins, quite literally, as we head towards the stables. The silence in the car is deafening, broken only by the occasional sound of the engine and the sound of other cars passing by. I can feel him stealing glances at me, and honestly, I'm doing the same. Whenever he's too focused on the road, I find myself studying his profile, the way his jaw clenches with tension, the faint furrow of his brows.
He looks different today, more vulnerable somehow. Maybe it's the exhaustion etched into the lines of his face, or maybe it's the bruise that I only noticed now, peeking out from under his shirt collar. "Did you get hurt?" I hear myself say and he frowns, glancing at me for a moment before returning his gaze to the road.
"It's nothing," He replies, his voice tight. But I can see the way his jaw tenses, the way his fingers grip the steering wheel a little too tightly.
A feeling of unease settles in the pit of my stomach. "It's not nothing if there's a bruise that noticeable-"
"Sena, I'm okay." His voice is sharp, firm, final. The way he utters those words makes me realize that I can't ask anymore, I can't push him further. Reluctantly, I back down, sinking into my seat as Heeseung focuses on the road ahead. I don't even care, it's not like I can force him to open up if he's not ready. But still, the worry lingers at the back of my mind, gnawing at me like a persistent itch.
The rest of the drive is quiet, but thankfully, the scenery outside the car window begins to change as we leave the city behind and head towards the countryside. When we arrive at the stables, Heeseung parks the car and we both get out. The crisp air is refreshing, a welcome change from the suffocating silence of the car. It's been a while since I last felt this close to nature, and I relish in the feeling of the cool breeze against my skin. He leads the way towards the stables and I follow closely behind, watching him extend his hand for me to take. For a moment, I stare at him, unsure of what to do, and then he just grabs my hand and the two of us keep walking. It's clear that he knows what he's doing, and I find myself relaxing in his presence. Ujin never once made me feel relaxed or comfortable like this, I was always the one to take care of everything. But with Heeseung, it feels different. It feels like I can let my guard down, even if just for a moment, and allow myself to be taken care of.
"Here, change into this." After a few minutes, he comes back with riding gear for me, and I take it, walking inside a little room where I can change. I take off my clothes and put on the riding gear, trying to zip the back of the jacket up on my own but struggling with the zipper. "Need a hand?" I glance over my shoulder, feeling a blush creeping up my cheeks. Just as I'm about to say yes, Heeseung moves behind me, grasping the zipper while I hold my breath, his proximity making my heart race inside my chest.
"Thank you," I manage to say, my voice barely above a whisper. He just nods, his gaze lingering on mine for a moment longer before he clears his throat and steps back. This tension between us is going to drive me insane, I'm sure of it, because my heart is pounding so hard I'm afraid he might hear it.
"It's your first time so I'll make sure you're comfortable. Rusty is a calm horse, come on, I'll help you mount." I stand next to Rusty and allow Heeseung to hold me by my waist, pretending that his touch doesn't make my skin heat and my stomach flutter with butterflies. With his help, I find myself settled comfortably in the saddle, my hands gripping the reins as the horse stands patiently beneath me. I steal a glance at Heeseung, who's looking hotter than ever, by the way, and my heart skips a beat. Why does he have to look so damn good when we're supposed to be just fake fiancées? It's not fair. The way he mounts Midnight makes me forget how to breathe, and I have to remind myself to focus on what we're supposed to do. We're here to take pictures, not get lost in each other's eyes or whatever this strange tension between us is.
Heeseung guides me through the basics of horse riding, explaining how to hold the reins, how to signal the horse to turn or stop, and how to adjust my posture in the saddle. I try to pay attention, but it's difficult when he's so close, his presence almost overwhelming. Every time his hand brushes against mine or his breath ghosts across my skin, it sends shivers down my spine. He sits tall and confident in the saddle, his strong hands guiding Midnight with ease. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I've never felt this way before, not even with Ujin. Heeseung is different, and I can't deny the attraction I feel towards him, even if I know it's wrong.
"Shit," I almost lose my balance when he places his hand against my back, steadying me. It's been so long since someone has touched me with such care, such tenderness. It's almost overwhelming, but I can't help but lean against his touch.
"You okay?" No, I want to tell him, not when he looks like me as if I'm the most fragile thing in the world, not when his touch sends my heart racing and I find myself thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking about.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I manage to say, though my voice comes out shaky. I'm not sure if I'm more embarrassed by my lack of coordination or by the way my body reacts to his touch. "Just need to get used to it, I guess." The way none of us breaks eye contact as our horses come to a stop, the way he looks at me with such intensity, such... something in his eyes that I can't quite understand. I feel a flutter in my stomach, a warmth spreading through me that has nothing to do with the sun shining down on us. For a moment, I forget about everything else, about Ujin, about the lies we're living, about the pain that still lingers in my heart. All I can focus on is the warmth of his hand against my back. I whisper, "Are you okay?"
This time, Heeseung doesn't look like he's about to shut me out. He looks strangely vulnerable, his guard momentarily lowered. "I crashed my car this morning and... let's say it's been a rough day." My heart clenches at his words, the realization hitting me like a punch to the gut. He crashed his car, that's why there's a bruise peeking out from under his collar. I wonder if he's hurt somewhere else, what he must have felt when it happened. It's a sobering thought, knowing that he could have been seriously injured or worse. "Don't look at me like that, Sena."
"Like what?" I breathe, my gaze dropping to his lips.
"Like you're about to take on all my problems and make them your own." I hear him say and I'm at a loss for words. "Like you're about to... kiss me." My gaze now flickers to his eyes and they're staring right into mine, holding me captive. My heart hammers in my chest, and I struggle to find the right words, to find any words at all. But before I can respond, Heeseung leans forward, his lips brushing against mine in a feather-light touch. For a moment, time stands still. All I can feel is the warmth of his lips against mine, the gentle pressure of his touch sending butterflies fluttering inside my stomach.
But just when I think I can't take it anymore, he pulls away, leaving me breathless and wanting more. "That's enough for the pictures."
My cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Was this just... for the pictures?" It can't be. I turn around and look at the man holding a camera and, apparently, this was all staged.
"Yes," Heeseung breathes. His voice is barely a whisper, but it's enough to shatter the fragile illusion I had allowed myself to believe in.
"Right, of course." A bitter taste fills my mouth as I force a tight smile. I swallow hard, willing myself to hold back the tears that threaten to spill over. I'm just being emotional right now, I know, but everything suddenly feels too much. Ujin cheating with Hana, this tension with Heeseung that will probably break me one day, it's just all too much.