I push through the ever-growing crowd, ignoring the sharp jabs of people's elbows I felt as I slipped through toward the front. Everyone was gathering–packed like sardines–toward the large outdoor stage, desperately wanting to see what was happening. Everyone wanted a front seat to this. On the way over here an announcement over the PA system was made, telling everyone to head for the stage. My eyes land on Richard, Kara's dad–and leader of our compound. He stepped up to the podium, clearing his throat and tapping the microphone with his pointer finger.
"Hello, everyone," he greets. "I am here to inform you all that the council and I have come to a decision. That decision is that we all think it's best if we send a group out to the headquarters. We need a group of strong-minded people to go and bring back the things and information we need. If I call your name, head to the main office."
The crowd erupted in whispers and murmurs, everything asking and guessing what exactly this meant. Even if we go through this once a year, people still seem to overreact. I turned to Kara, who looked equally as confused as the rest of us. But that didn't stop everyone around her from ambushing her with questions as if she knew what was happening, trying to get answers and a look into what went on behind the closed doors of our government. Megan was the first one to spit question after question at our friend. What is this? Who was being sent? Why? The usual questions that are asked when this happens. And a thousand more that Kara couldn't answer. She stutters out 'I don't know' repeatedly, shrugging her shoulders as she sinks into herself.
As names were being called out the crowd began to shift, gravitating toward the person who was trying to get out.
"Megan McMillian." Richard's voice made the three of us stop and look up at the stage. Meg began to sink back into the sea of people, fear flooding her eyes as she headed for the main office.
"Brandi Hawthorne," Richard called my name.
My eyes snapped to the stage as I froze. Me? Why?
Kara nudges my arm, bringing me back to reality as I stumble a little. My thoughts raced faster than I could process any of them as I started weaving my way back through the crowd with Kara close behind me.
***
I walk into the old building with Kara trailing behind me. A guard silently gestures to the first door on the right. It was cracked open and hushed voices could be heard floating out of the room. I shove open the door and step inside. I looked around, seeing who had been summoned. Matthew Bennet sat on the end of a long, wooden table, to his right sat his sister, Ashley. I didn't personally know either, but we'd engaged in polite conversation once or twice.
Then there was Megan, beside her sat an older man, John, Dad's friend. At the opposite end of the table sat Clay and his brother, Tyler. On Tyler's right sat a boy who looked to be around my age. His name was Charlie, I think. I met him a few times. I took a seat, keeping my eyes on the dull gray and fading walls or the window covered by blinds.
Why were the two new Outsiders here? My eyes flit between everyone again and realize they were all staring at Kara, expecting answers. She sat quietly, meeting each person's eyes as if she were telling them she was just as clueless as the rest of us.
"I'm in the dark like the rest of you," Kara said. "Stop looking at me like that. I'm not a messenger pigeon."
"Yeah, but you've got to know something." Matthew crosses his arms over his chest. "Doesn't daddy tell his princess what's going on, or anything at all?"
Kara narrows her eyes at him. "He doesn't tell me anything. If I know something it's because I was digging around something I wasn't supposed to."
Matthew was about to reply when the door opened, grabbing everyone's attention. Richard walks into the room, taking a seat at the head of the table. He folds his hands in front of himself as two guards stop on either side of his chair. He clears his throat.
"I want to thank each of you for showing up," Richard began. "You must be wondering why you're here, why you were chosen."
"You're sending us on a suicide run, aren't you?" Ashley asks, her knuckles turning white as she grips the now crumpled piece of paper in her hand.
"You... may make it out of this alive. You need to." Richard shrugs. "Before we go any further, I want you all to know one thing." He stood. "You mean nothing. You're not here because you're special or because you have some especially helpful talent. Each and every one of you is dispensable. I didn't choose you because of some skill. We can afford to lose you; it won't bother me or anyone else. You can easily be replaced."
"Cut to the chase. We get it, live or die, you don't care," John said.
"Do you?" Richard asks. "I don't think it's clear. So, an example must be made." He snaps his fingers and the guard to his left raises his gun.
A gunshot echoed off the wall, making my ears ring as I flinched. I felt hot blood splatter against the exposed skin of my arm. I turn to look. Charlie's body slumped in his chair as the crimson liquid ran down his head. I pull in a shaky breath, staring at the dead body beside me.
Richard continued, "I'm sending you on a trip to HQ. I have a message for President Kenn. I've also been made aware that there will be other compounds doing the same. So, if you run into them, everything is fine. If you disobey orders, you will be killed–"
"How would you know?" Tyler asks. "If you're sending a bunch of nobodies out and halfway across the country, how would you know if we disobeyed?"
"I have my ways, I assure you. Disobey and you'll find out." Richard looked over at the two new Outsiders, a threat clear in his eyes. If they kept this up, they'd be the next two bodies that someone would be dragging out of this room. However, neither brother backed down. Both Clay and Tyler maintained eye contact, challenging Richard's authority. How far they could push him. They were playing a dangerous game.
I tensed, heart racing in my chest. Why would Richard send them? They were just brought in this morning. They probably haven't even finished the screening. They weren't quite trustable. None of us knew how they were going to do it. If they would play well with others, follow the rules. Outsiders didn't have rules or morals, they were killers who only cared for themselves. That's what everyone said, what everyone was told. Back when the world collapsed there were people who didn't want the help provided–offered–to them.
If this were that important, why send those two with us?
"You leave tomorrow morning. Say your goodbyes. We meet at sunrise. Don't be late." Richard broke eye contact. Tyler smiled victoriously, leaning back in his seat.
Richard stood, the chair sliding backward with a horrible screeching sound. "Kara let's go. We have much to discuss."
Kara stood, following her father out of the room.
Silence enveloped the room as we all shared a look. Whatever this was, it couldn't be good. We didn't even get one explanation. The six of us, plus the dead body, sat there for a few minutes, the reality of the situation sinking in. I started to fidget with the hem of my shirt as the silence grew too loud. The air seemed to be getting thicker the longer I sat here.
I pull in a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I stood, exiting the room. I couldn't sit there in that quiet room, staring at strangers, who in less than twenty-four hours, I would have to trust with my life. This didn't make any sense. I guess I'd never thought of it like this before because it wasn't me being sent out. Every year I watched a group be sent away, but now that it was me, it felt different.
***
"I'll miss you, Pumpkin," Dad said, hugging me tightly. I tried to keep myself calm. I didn't want to make this harder for either of us. I'd be okay.
"I'll miss you too, Dad," I mumbled, shutting my eyes for a moment. I hated that I had to leave him. He'll be all alone. I won't be able to contact him. I wasn't sure if he could handle it. Or if I could handle it.
"Stay safe, Brandi," he tells me, pulling back from our hug and kissing my head.
"I will," I assure him. "I'll be back before you know it."
"I love you, kid."
"Love you too, Dad."
I shoulder my bag, heading out the door after telling my dad goodbye and telling him I'd be all right one more time. The early morning sun shone in my eyes as I made my way toward the front gate. I had no choice. I had to go. Richard would have me–and anyone who tried to stay behind–killed before we even got the first word out of our mouths. I doubted anyone would try to back out, but there was still a possibility. There always was.
The closer I get to the front gate, the better I can see who has already arrived. Megan, who was always extra early, stood with her parents, exchanging what I imagine to be goodbyes. Clay and Tyler stood off to the side by themselves in a quiet conversation. I see Matthew and Ashley walking toward everyone as well. I come to a stop beside Meg. Her parents wish us both well while we wait for Richard to show up and give us some sort of information or orders.
I heard Kara and her father before I saw them.
"You can't be serious. I'm an adult, I should be able to say whether I go or not," Kara tells Richard as they round the corner.
"I didn't make this decision as a father; I made it as a leader. You have nothing to offer the group. Therefore, you stay." Richard didn't even look at her as he made his way toward us.
Richard never really decided as a father, He was far too caught up in his own life to care or worry for his daughters. He would just hand her off to a few guards to ensure safety, then go on about his day.
"And as a citizen, Kara, you must do as I say. You are not excused from the consequences," Richard continued.
"You'll kill me, you mean?" Kara asks. "You're sending my best friends off to die–"
"No, I'm sending them to speak to the president. Enough," Richard demands, shooting her a final look.
"Fine," Kara huffs, crossing her arms over her chest before walking toward Megan and me.
"Everyone here? Good." Richard quickly glances around, making sure we are all present. "Now, John's in charge since he has the most experience. You were each assigned a bag with some necessities and things to help you survive. You may each take a weapon. And John, you have the folder that needs to be given to the president. By whatever means necessary, do not lose that folder or any of its contents."
John nods his head. "Yes, sir. You can depend on me. I'll keep everything in order."
It had never been more obvious that John was used to following orders. Whether it was just something he'd grown up doing or if it was something else entirely, I didn't know. Maybe he'd been in the army or something along those lines.
"You don't have a choice, John," Richard said, patting his shoulder. "I wish you well, all of you. Sincerely."
I heard a scoff to my right. I looked over to see Clay rolling his eyes.
Richard turned around, walking away with two guards tailing him. John reaches into his backpack, pulling out a map. Everyone gravitates toward him, forming a circle around the older man. In a bright red marker there was a line leading to an X. It was the path we were supposed to take to HQ.
"All right, grab your stuff. We're wasting daylight." John shoulders his bag and walks toward the gate.
I shake out my nerves, taking the bag a guard held out to me. I stepped out of the gate.
I threw one last glance over my shoulder as the tall gates began to close, locking me out of my old life for a long time. They slam shut, the sound of metal hitting together echoing.