"I look at you, and I just love you. And it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you."
Arabella Karve
"He's back." Is all I say, discreetly raising my chin so that the tears sitting on the brim of my glossy eyes don't break. My father raises one of his graying eyebrows in skepticism, knowing exactly who I am talking about.
And how fucking crazy I sound.
He carefully studies my face, almost searching for a clue that I am lying, "and tell me girl, how would you know that?"
His deep tone drips with sarcasm, showing that there is absolutely no chance that he believes me. I take a slow breath, racking my brain for an answer to his question.
He's going to fucking kill me if he knows I had tried to leave again, especially after his threats concerning my, so-called, acting out.
Eros was extremely careful when we returned back to the manor, making sure that no one would ever find out that I had ever left. He promised me that he would never say anything about it to anyone, as long as I don't run away again and willingly put myself into danger without telling him.
He is putting me before his job.
And right now I am going to voluntarily sell myself out to my father, even though I got away with it.
I can't decide if I would rather die at the hands of Dominik's, or my own fathers.
"Because when I ran away last week... Dominik Voklov-," my voice hesitates as his name leaves my lips, "and some of his men attacked me, trying to take me back with them."
My heart pounds fearfully in my chest, watching my fathers pale face contort into one of purely terrifying rage.
My body threatens to give out from under me as my father shakes his head maliciously, completely ignoring the fact that I just told him a mentally unstable Russian is out for me.
The room begins tilting around me as a sharp pain shoots through my temples.
I take a shaky breath and try to steady myself by picturing Eros's warm arms wrapped around me, just like they were when I woke up this morning. A sense of comfort slowly begins to flow over me.
God I wish I was back in his arms.
Every single night since Eros saw me having my nightmare and I asked him to stay with me, I have woken up in his arms that feel more like home than anywhere else I have ever been.
I don't know when Eros finally comes up, or rather sneaks up, to my room each night. He never mentions anything regarding my parents finding out, but I am assuming he comes up fairly late to make sure that nobody suspects anything.
I honestly don't care when or how he ends up in bed, as long as I wake up beside him.
Well more accurately under him.
I don't even know if I will manage to sleep once he indefinitely gets bored of coming up to me each night.
"You fucking left?" My father growls under his breath. I stay silent for a minute, knowing that he isn't asking me a question, but is rather just trying to wrap his mind around the fact.
It's not like it's the first time buddy, get used to it.
"Well I didn't really feel like sticking around after my, oh so loving father, fucked up the entire side of my face." I bite out, wishing that I wasn't wearing the heavy foundation covering up the multiple dark bruises.
My father doesn't respond right away, clenching his jaw as anger catches in his eyes like a spreading wildfire.
"I can't even fucking believe you right now."
"I came back didn't I?" I immediately retort. "And I think you're missing the fucking point where I told you the heir to the Russian Bor, Bratva is after me." I wrap my arms around myself, struggling to keep my voice steady.
My father suddenly throws himself out of his office chair and begins storming straight towards me. My heart leaps into my throat. I immediately take a step back and raise up one of my trembling hands, making him stop a couple feet in front of me.
My wounds are beginning to heal and I fucking refuse to add another one this week.
"Eros is standing just down the hall. If I walk out with a bleeding face he will know it was you." I say softly, not completely sure Eros would truly care all that much. But hopefully it is enough to scare my father.
"I don't give a fuck what he knows. I am his superior. I control him." He sneers venomisley, making it sound like Eros is his damn dog.
"Then please Father, go tell him that. Go tell one of the deadliest assassins to ever fucking breathe that you control him and that you hit your daughter when you're angry." I watch in amusement as the color drains from his aged face.
"He told you about his life in Italy?" Astonishment rings in his tone.
"You didn't think I would find out?" I scoff in disbelief.
My father wouldn't tell me who Eros was before he was my bodyguard. I don't know if it was because I was already scared of my own fucking shadow earlier this year, or if he just didn't give enough fucks to tell me.
"I think it's hilarious that you think Mr.Vandare gives a shit what I do to you."
"Wanna test that theory?" I narrow my eyes and watch as my father seethes in front of me, tightly clenching his fists.
"Dominick Voklov is fucking dead. You killed him on February fourteenth, two years ago."
I try not to flinch remembering how it felt to slam the rock into his skull and listen to the satisfying crunch that followed after.
"The body was never found. He's not dead." An underlying tone of desperation rings in my voice.
Everyone immediately presumed that Dominik was dead. The amount of blood loss, the brutal injury, the fact that he disappeared off of the face of the fucking planet without a trace. Everyone told me that he probably just crawled farther into the woods and hungry animals got to him before my fathers men did.
But none of it is true. He survived.
"Like I would ever take your word on what's real and what's not." Ouch.
"I have wounds to prove it! One of his men got me with his knife." I yell desperately.
My father suddenly walks towards the wall beside me, slamming his fist into it. I flinch violently, the wall cracking as his knuckles split.
"He is going to kill me." I sob, my exterior cracking along with the bloodied drywall.
God only knows what will happen once he finally gets his hands on me.
He gets information out of me, his father lets him take over the Russian mafia, and war is ultimately waged? My life would irrevocably become pure hell knowing that if Dominik wasn't merciful enough to kill me, I will spend every day locked prisoner in a basement cell.
"You want an heir don't you? You wont have one if you let him fucking take me. And you know that the second he gets all that power he will destroy your mafia." I try to reason through the flowing tears.
"I said get the fuck out!" He finally snaps.
Another sob escapes my lips in disbelief before I turn around and storm out of the office, letting the door slam behind me.
Relief immediately washes over me the second my glossy eyes land upon Eros, who kept his promise and is waiting in the hall for me, just as he said he would. His gloriously muscular body is braced firmly against the wall as his eyes scan my entire body, almost looking for something out of place.
The shadows are perfectly casted down on him, projecting his beautifully dark features. A muscle feathers in his jaw as his icy eyes reach my face and he sees the tear marks lining my rosy cheeks.
Eros smoothly pushes off the wall and begins walking towards me when the office door suddenly gets thrown back open from behind me. The door hits the wall as I immediately turn around to face my fuming father who is standing in the doorway, "Dont you fucking dare slam-"
My father is abruptly cut off by the deep sound of Eros clearing his throat, making my fathers eyes snap towards him in shock. My heart skips a beat as I feel Eros's dark presence appear behind me, his masculine frame towering over my height.
I tilt my head up towards Eros, only to see him glaring daggers at my father, "please, don't let me interrupt you."
Eros's powerful voice sends a chill through my body as goosebumps appear across my pale skin.
"I was just trying to continue my little discussion with my daughter." My father shoots a glare towards me before looking back up at Eros.
"For a little discussion, there seems to be a lot of yelling." Eros sneers darkly, carefully choosing each word. His Italian accent resonates throughout the hall and I watch as my father discreetly takes a diminutive step back.
"Well if you heard what she was saying, you would be yelling too." My father chuckles bitterly.
"I hear what she is saying." Eros says, unnervingly calm.
"Oh really? Well, do you know everything behind what she is saying about this so-called attack?"
"Don't-."
I start before I am cut off by Eros speaking again, his voice lowering dangerously, "No, and I don't need to. If she is saying that she was attacked, then you should be listening to her without questions rather than disregarding it."
He is here defending me without even knowing the truth. He is here defending me when I lied to his face about everything and he knew it. He is here, putting his job on the line, in order to defend me.
"Did she tell you that she her fucking PTSD caused hallucinations for months?" I flinch at the bluntness of my fathers cruel words, "so no, I wouldn't go around defending her on a limb."
"I told you I have wounds to prove it!" I yell desperately, another tear rolling down my cheek.
"This conversation is over," my father bites out angrily.
"Vandare, learn to stay where you belong," he glares at Eros and then looks towards me, his gaze darkening, "and you, dont come crying to me claiming you were attacked by a man who you fucking killed."
I bite my lip to keep it from quivering, the emotions boiling over. He doesn't believe me.
And now Eros knows something about my fucked up past that I never want him to find out about. It's not that I don't trust him, but to see him look at me any differently than he does now would break me.
I have lived my entire life with people staring at me with pity in their eyes or with nothing in their eyes. But one has ever looked at me the way Eros does.
He looks at me like I am something worth looking at. As if I am the answer to a question he has dedicated his entire life to figuring out.
When he looks at me, for the first time in my life, I feel like something beautiful.
My father suddenly storms down the hall, not bothering to spare me another glance. He makes it out of my line of sight and I can't help the flowing tears that fall from my eyes.
"Are you okay Bella?" Eros's deep voice softens, making my heart flutters at his tone. I slowly nod my head, but can't bring myself to turn around to face him. I hate when he sees me like this.
"At least spare lying to me love."
I harshly bite my lip and raise one of my hands, using the sleeve of my dark green sweatshirt to wipe the tears from my cheeks.
"No." I whisper honestly.
Eros slowly walks around me and my heart races in my chest as he stands in front of me, looking down at me with soft eyes. He gently takes my jaw in one of his warm hands, using his scarred thumb to carefully brush away my running tears.
"I hate it when you cry Vita Mia," he mumbles, his warm breath fanning my face. A sad chuckle breaks past my lips as more tears fall.
"Do you want to tell me what your father was talking about?" He asks and I immediately shake my head, not ready for anything about us to change.
Eros reluctantly nods his head and speaks again after a minute, "do you want strawberry cake?"
I furrow my eyebrows as a confused smile spreads across my face, "did you just ask me if I want cake?"
"I want you happy."
Heat rises to my cheeks and a small laugh bubbles up my throat, my fathers words suddenly not seeming so heavy. And my issues not seeming as awful.
"I would love strawberry cake."
**************************
"I feel like you are judging me right now." I smile flusteredly while setting down my fork next to my half eaten slice of strawberry cake.
"Never," Eros grins lazily at me, displeasing one of his perfect dimples. He slowly leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his broad chest, his stoic eyes never leaving mine.
The endless chatter and laughter of the busy bakery fills my ears as I softly tuck a piece of loose hair behind my ear that had fallen from my messy bun this morning.
I glance around the small bakery and smile at the many people with different stories that all happen to be in the same place.
"Do you ever miss Italy?" I randomly ask while turning back to Eros. I gaze at him before picking up my fork again to have another bite of the cake that Eros insisted on buying me. Even though I threatened to shave his hair off while he is sleeping.
Eros raises a dark eyebrow at my random question, "Depends, why?"
"Because I want to know more about you." A soft smile teases at my lips.
"Well when I lived there, my circumstances weren't great. So no, I don't necessarily miss my life there." His eyes slightly freeze over as he talks a little bit about his past.
I nod with an understanding expression before asking another question, "would you ever go back?"
He stays silent for a second, "why would I be going back?" He asks, playing into my fake scenario.
I shrug with a teasing smile, "maybe I want to go one day."
As if my parents would ever allow their heir to travel to a different country.
"Then yes." He doesn't hesitate in responding, making my heart skip a beat.
"I might leave you there though if you don't let me pay for my own food next time," I narrow my eyes at him and he only grins playefully in response.
"You know you can't leave me anywhere you're not, Vita Mia."
I love when he calls me that, and I don't even know what it means.
"Are you ever going to finally tell me what that means? Because for all I know you are calling me a tit."
The breath suddenly gets knocked out of my lungs when Eros's gorgeous laugh unexpectedly fills my ears, canceling out every other noise in the cafe. The addicting sound resonates around me as his head slightly tilts back and I watch him in pure awe.
His flawless smile lights up his handsome face, and my heart flutters as I enjoy the unbelievable sight. His white teeth and perfectly carved smile lines display themselves, as his dark hair falls sloppily over his forehead. And here I was thinking there was no sound more beautiful than Lana Del Rey's voice.
I have never heard Eros Vandare laugh, and I never want to stop hearing it.
*************************
I quietly wince and open my eyes as I wake up from sleeping, hearing my bedroom door quietly creak open. My eyes adjust to the dark room as I stare at my open door that has light illuminating from the hall.
I silently watch as a tall figure steps silently into my room and locks the door behind them.
"Eros?" I whisper softly as the figure slowly approaches my bed and my heart pounds in my chest.
"Shh mia Bella, go back to sleep. '' Eros's soothing and deep voice comforts me, immediately sending a wave of relief throughout my body. I struggle to keep my eyes open as I silently watch him smoothly slide off his black shoes and peel off his white dress shirt.
His muscles and tattoos ripple gorgeously as he drops his shirt to the floor and walks towards me again.
He carefully pulls back the blankets on top of me, and without warning slides into bed beside me. I gasp softly as he immediately pulls me flush against his body, as if he won't live another second without feeling my skin against his.
He smoothly wraps his muscular arms tightly around my waist, sliding one of his warm hands under my baggy t-shirt and resting it against the bare skin of my hip, "is this okay?"
I nod with a tired smile, throwing my leg over his waist to feel him closer against me.
I feel him press his soft lips against my forehead and I sigh softly, savoring the warm feeling of his touch.
He pulls his lips away after a second, and I tiredly tuck my head into the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent of his natural musk and the faint smell of cologne.
"You don't have to come up here every night if you don't want to." I mumble while closing my eyes, not wanting to force him to come lay with me if he doesn't want to.
"I know I don't have to." His chest rumbles against me, the feeling vibrating within every bone in my body, "and I probably shouldn't."
Disappointment floods my senses and I take a shallow breath, "probably not."
"But I am."
"Why?" I whisper softly.
"Because I'm fucking selfish and I need you, regardless of what I shouldn't or should do."
My heart flutters.
"Well I want you to know I would never force you-"
"You aren't forcing me to do anything Arabella. There is no other place in this world I would rather be than right here." He says in a low voice, leaving no room to argue.
"And if you don't want me here, then I will sit at your bedside each night or outside your door, because if I ever hear you cry or scream like you did that night-" His voice comes out almost angry at the thought of how he saw me that night.
"I want you here Eros." I mumble wearily, mindlessly dragging one of my fingers across his chest and drawing invisible shapes.
"Good, because I'm not going anywhere," he says before kissing my forehead, "I never am." He mumbles with his lips against my skin.
I smile tiredly, "neither am I." He tightens his arms around me, pulling me even closer against him.
I fade in and out of consciousness as Eros's fingers gently brush up and down my bare spine, "sei il mio tutto."
I melt against his warmth while listening to the calming sound of his voice.
"When you saw me for the first time, what was the first thing you thought?" I whisper softly, slowly fading into welcoming darkness.
Eros stays silent and as I am barely conscious I finally hear his deep voice respond, "that you are the most beautiful thing that has ever existed."
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