"What time will she be here?" Penny asked me as we sat inside my living room, waiting on my sister Grace and her arrival.
"Any minute now" I answered
"Why are you pacing?" She questioned, watching me move back and forth on the tiles
"I don't know" I shrugged "I haven't seen her in a while"
"I thought you'd be more relaxed after confronting Phoenix yesterday" She sighed, my pacing over
"I am" I told her, nodding
"You really put him in his place" She smiled, her legs hanging over the edge of the lounge
"Did I?" I scoffed
"Yeah, you did, why do you doubt yourself?" Her eyebrows crossed
"I didn't prove anything"
"You did" She snapped, sitting up "You proved to yourself that you have more power over him and yourself, you can make the right choices, especially when it comes to avoiding him"
"Am I really the one in power?" I stood in front of her, biting my bottom lip
"Yes!" She snapped, standing up, glaring at me
"Right" I nodded "I am"
I began pacing again, unsure of myself, unsure of how much longer my sister was going to be.
Five minutes later, the front door opened.
I closed my eyes as I embraced my sister, the smell of her perfume the same as my mothers. Her hair had grown since the last time I'd seen her, her skin was a slight shade darker too. Her face remained the same, oval shaped with her bright blue eyes staring back at me.
"I've missed you" I whispered into her neck
"I missed you too" She replied, puling me back, looking me over "You look different"
"Different?" I questioned
"Yeah" Her eyebrows crossed "Different"
Her eyes then averted over my shoulder towards my best friend, Penny, where she moved to embrace her like she had me.
"Penny" She greeted, pulling her close
"How you been Gracie?" Penny responded
"Good, and you?"
Penny nodded "Great"
"You look different too, what's gotten into you girls?" Grace narrowed her eyes
"I met a boy" Penny refused to hold back her tongue and her smile, and I could understand, she had met a boy, a lovely boy, lucky her.
"A boy?" Grace repeated "Well we better sit down and you better tell me all about him"
Penny nodded, and the pair of them sat at the dining room table together as I volunteered to make coffee and tea for the reunion.
"What's his name?" Grace began, crossing her legs, her attire neat and tidy, intimidating
"Brad" Penny answered, eager to reveal every detail of her love life to my sister, and that's how it was for the next hour.
I sat opposite Penny, listening to her happy tale, depressed.
"What about you Eden Skye?" Grace turned on me once Penny had ended her story
"What about me?" I shrugged
"I know why Penny looks different, she's in love" She winked to Penny "And what about you, why do you look different, have you met a boy too?"
I scoffed, amused "If only"
Penny began fiddling with her hands on the table top, her eyes and the air growing awkward. She was going to give me away. The silence didn't help either.
"Have a hit a nerve here somewhere?"
"No, there's just nothing to tell, I've been concentrating on school and hanging out with my friends, that's it" I offered the lie, avoiding all of the drama.
"Right" She dragged out "You've never been a good liar Eden, but you know what, that's okay, I won't push it, you'll tell me about it when you're ready" She smiled, running a hand over my hair.
"Eden" Penny began, easing up "Your sister is the best, can I have her?"
"No" I reacted quickly "You can't, she's all I got left" Gracelin's jaw twitched a little at the sentence, and once I realized what I'd said, so did mine.
"So, where are we going tonight for dinner?" Penny interrupted pushing herself up from the table
-
Listening to Gracelin talk about her major success at work, made me more determined to become just like her, she was so happy, and so brave, doing it all alone on her own. I was so proud of her, I admired her.
It was rare that we got to spend time like this together, so when it came around, I made the most of it.
All I could concentrate on was Gracie and our time before she would be pulled away from me again.
"How is your school work going?" Grace asked as we sat with our stomachs full, slumped and over-filled.
"Good" I nodded, shortening the version in which I now had double the homework thanks to Penny's glorious boyfriend Brad
"You've been dragging her out of the house a lot more, how did you get that to happen?" Grace continued the brigade
Penny shrugged "I guess one night she just kind of gave in, I do hassle her about it quite a bit, more than I probably should. She has her reasons for staying in all the time, but I figured I needed to get her out before she became mentally ill"
"Well, I'm glad that she did talk you into it" Grace spoke to me "You do stay in too much, you think too much, you need to get out more and hang out with your friends. But in saying that, you need to keep out of trouble, don't go loosing yourself" She reminded me
I scoffed "How can I lose myself when I barely know who I am"
"See that right there is the reason I hassle you to get out of the house" Penny threw her hands up, rolling her eyes.
Penny and Grace didn't see it from the perspective I did. I wasn't the person I used to think I was, lately I had been morphing into someone who took risks and placed herself in the hands of people that were dangerous and angry. The old Eden would never have done anything like that, not once. She would be at home, studying, minding her own business.
"Penny, what are you doing for vacation, are you going away with your family?"
Penny scoffed "Yeah, mum and dad have time off, for once, so they're taking me to my grandmothers farm two hours away"
"You didn't tell me that" I snapped towards her, the information new to me
She shrugged, avoiding my gaze "I didn't know how you would take it"
"I would've taken it just fine if you'd told me when you found out. Vacation is next week, when are you leaving?" I demanded
"Next week" She said weakly, knowing I was about to blow
"And I wasn't invited this year?"
"I'm sorry, my parents want it to be a family only holiday" She cowered, apologetic
I leaned back in the booth and rolled my eyes, folding my arms over my chest
"Awesome, so I'm going to spend 2 weeks by myself"
"What about Oscar's offer?" Penny mindlessly allowed out, covering her mouth as soon as she had said it
"Penny!" I scolded, Grace's ears now pricking up
"Who is Oscar?" She caught on
"He's just a friend" I tried, damage control
"Just a friend?" She scoffed "I highly doubt that after that reaction" She pointed to Penny
"He is just a friend, but he invited me to his family's beach house for the time off, I don't want to go" I rushed out
"He invited you to his family beach house, with his family or just alone with the two of you?" Grace demanded answers, concerned
"With his family of course"
"With his family? That doesn't sound like 'just a friend' Eden"
"He is just a friend to me" I told her
"He's just a friend?" Penny now repeated "I thought you liked him?"
The air was growing thick, dangerous. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples "I don't know how I feel okay? But I know that I'm not ready to meet his family and spend the next two weeks with his family on a desolate island"
"Understandable" Grace surrendered "Tell him I said no, I'm not comfortable with the idea"
"Think about it Grace" Penny turned on her, on me "You'd rather her be alone for two weeks?"
"Penny!" I snapped, angry "I'm not a child. I don't need people to watch out for my welfare, I don't need people to make decisions for me"
"According to the state laws, you are under my welfare, and yes, I do need to make decisions for you" Grace's entire agenda changed
"I've heard enough of this" I stood, furious "I'm leaving"
"You can't be serious?" Penny sighed watching me carefully
"You're both ganging up on me, discussing my vacation for me like I'm a depressed kid that needs constant care, so yes, I'm serious, I'm leaving" I threw my servient down and stormed from the restaurant, intent on making a scene.
My plans for making the most of the time I had with Grace, had just been flushed down the toilet, all thanks to Penny and her big mouth.
As soon as I opened the front door, cold air hit me, rain drizzling off the edge of the roof, settling on my leather hoodie. I could hear Penny open the door behind me, Grace assumingly paying our meal bill. I stood hesitant for a minute, shoving my hands into my pockets, attempting to decide what I was going to do.
"Let's go home" Grace emerged beside me
I shook my head, unwilling to spend another minute being pushed into a corner
"Eden" She placed a soft hand on my back "Let's go home, we'll talk about this"
I shrugged her off of me and turned my eyes toxic "Stop acting like my mother, because you aren't her Grace, you aren't mum, so just... stop" I allowed the rage out.
She didn't look shocked, but Penny did. Grace's expression went soft, along with her voice
"I know I'm not Eden, I know I'm not her, I'm not trying to be her, I just care about you, I see the hurt in your eyes, it's been there since they died, and if I could stay and help you through it, I would, but I can't, because I'm your sister and I know I can't replace them, you need time, you need friends, you need to be around people that will help heal you"
"I don't need people to 'heal' me" I argued back while standing in the rain, the cold water a refreshing difference from the over-heating restaurant.
"What do you need then Eden?"
"Time, time alone"
She shook her head "Time alone will drive you crazy, you need to be around the right people, people who won't pressure you into talking, people that will understand you and what you've been through"
"Oh, right, people like Penny who has the perfect life" I shot "People like Oscar who want to jump into the dating pool after only knowing me for a month. That's giving it the right time alright"
"I don't know how to take that" Penny mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest
"Nobody except you and I know how this feels, and I can't talk to you about it, because you're a thousand miles away and you are handling it so well, and I don't even know how to begin scrambling my life back up off of the curb"
Grace gave a short sigh "Let's go home, please" I bit into my bottom lip and gave in, tired.
-
I stared at the emptiness of my bedroom; even side on it looked exactly the same as it did when my mother and father were still alive.
I remembered mum slowly pushing my door open, asking me with a humble voice how I was going with school. She would then sit on the edge of my bed before I retired for the night, talking to me about how different things were for her education back in the day. I missed her.
A small knock sounded on my door, and for a second, I imagined it being her. Instead, in strolled my sister, showered and redressed as I was.
"Can I come in?" She asked me
I nodded and readjusted my pillow so I was sitting slightly elevated.
She sat on the edge of my bed like my mother did; the subtle movement angering.
"I know that it's hard for you being alone, and sometimes I consider finding a smaller job here just to be with you, to support you"
I shook my head "No, I don't want you to do that. I know it's hard for you to be away from me too, but you're doing what you've always wanted to do, you're making a living for yourself, you're setting yourself up for an amazing future, I won't be the reason you take all that away from yourself"
"I'm doing this for us too, I get good money, money that helps keeps this house afloat, keeps your bank accounts neat and tidy"
"I know you do, and you shouldn't even be doing that, I shouldn't be your responsibility"
"Until you turn 21, you are my responsibility, that's just how it is"
"I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry for ruining the night" I picked at the skin around my fingernails
"It's okay, and if you don't want to go to this beach house thing, that's fine, tell him I said no. Besides, I was telling the truth, I'm not completely comfortable with you going away with a family I don't even know. I know you'll be safe here, it's a good neighborhood"
Oh how she was wrong.
"Thanks" I told her, genuine as I took a hold of her hand, squeezing it
"On one condition"
"Why are there always conditions?" I smiled
She returned the smile "Don't stay home every day, find things to do, find a hobby, hang out with more friends, join the choir if you have too"
"I'll try, except for the choir thing, that won't happen, sorry
"We both allowed laughter out, a sound that our house had barely heard in the last few years. I felt better after our little conversation; I didn't regret my outburst, it actually made me feel relieved that Grace knew how I felt. She was the only family I had left; she deserved to know how I felt.
"Do you know when you'll be going back?" I asked Grace as she moved towards me desk and flicked on my lamp, lightening the room up softly.
She shrugged, returning to the edge of my bed
"I'll know tomorrow. But for now I just want to make the most of being home with you this week. I would pull you out of school for the next week, but I should know better, you need the last week of work and you'll have enough time on your hands the next two weeks after"
"I'll come straight home after school every day, we can watch movies, go out for dinner, whatever you want to do, we'll do it" I told her
"Sounds good" She nodded "But for now, you need to sleep, school tomorrow"
-
"Eden, I'm so so sorry about last night" Penny grovelled as we walked into school the next morning
"It's fine, I don't know why I lost my cool so easily" I shrugged
"So you're not mad at me?" I shook my head "No"
"Okay good, when are you going to talk to Oscar?"
"During my free period" I told her, sighing, not looking forward to the moment
"Are you nervous about it?"
"Of course I am"
"How come you didn't tell me you weren't into him?"
"Because I'm trying my best to be normal, and I guess I had hoped if I spent more time with him, ad told other people that I liked him, that I would actually feel that way about him"
It was a legitimate excuse and reason, one that I actually believed in myself.
"Why do you think you aren't attracted to him, I mean, he's a good looking kid and he's smart..."
"That's just it Penny, he's a kid" I sighed as we moved towards class
"So you're into older guys? Oh my god! Please tell me you have a thing for Brody, if you married him and I married Brad, we'd be legit sisters!" She shouted, standing in front of me, blocking our trail to EnglishI rolled my eyes
"No, sorry to burst your bubble but I don't have a thing for Brody"
Her eyes only widened more "Please don't tell me this is about Phoenix Eden"
I averted my eyes, unsure of where I stood with the man across my street. I hadn't been able to erase him from my mind, even when I had forgotten about him he seemed to linger in the back of my head, beckoning me to bring him back to the front.
"I don't know" I avoided, pushing past her, knowing I was about to hear it
"Eden, you can't think about him like that remember? Holy shit, do you actually think of him like that, like that, that?" Her voice was low, which I appreciated as we passed a group of teens our junior
"I don't know, I'm trying not to think about him at all, but you have no idea how hard it is"
"You have a crush on him. I can see it in your eyes!" She walked in front of me, backwards, confident "It's because he's gorgeous and dangerous. You like him because you know you can't have him, because you know he's the bad apple on the tree. Who knew you'd be that kind of girl" She mused, more to herself as she narrowed her eyes on me.
"I already told you, and Grace, I don't know who I am, and I'm trying my damn hardest to get him out of my head, so please, can we stop talking about this?" I begged her, first class bell ringing
"Fine!" She gave up, tossing her arms in the air
"Thank you"
My day so far was going smoothly, all though, my mind still felt as though it had been placed inside a blender and mushed and mixed around.
When last period came, my free period 'study period', I found myself anxious and tentative, I had text Oscar and told him to meet me in the library where I would give him the disappointing news.
I stood against a table, unable to bring myself to study, unable to bring myself to do anything but prepare myself to either anger Oscar or receive the cold shoulder, again. I bit into my nails, my eyes unfocused on the floor.
"You shouldn't bite your nails" His voice awoken me from my trance.
My hand fell, my eyes rising.
It was Oscar, his hands in his pockets, his hair pulled back with a hair tie, the loose strands falling around his face.
"Your hair, you've got it pulled back" I noticed instantly
"Oh, yeah, I uh, I felt like mixing it up a bit" He awkwardly told me, unconfident
"It looks good" I told him, softening the blow
"Thanks" He smiled "So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
"It's about next week" I began, his eyes already dropping a little "I spoke to my sister about it, and she isn't really comfortable with the idea. I tried to talk her into it, but she isn't budging"
"I had a feeling, I mean, I can understand her point" He replied, his response shocking me to the core, a smile still visible
"When did you speak with her?"
"Last night, she came back from Europe for a few days" I let slip, realizing I had probably just made a vital mistake
"Oh did she?" He piped up as I mentally slapped myself
I nodded "Yeah" Gritting my teeth
"Well, what are you guys doing tonight, do you have any plans? Maybe I can bring around some dinner, meet her and try and win her over?" He excitedly announced.
I gave myself a psychic pat on the back, Atta girl Eden.
There was no escaping it this time. If I had said no to tonight, he would have asked about tomorrow, then the next day and the next, and soon enough, he would realize I was full of lies.
Clenching my jaw, I nodded my head "Sounds good, we will cook, how does 7 sound?"
"Perfect" He nodded back, overly thrilled
The walk home was indescribable. I had called Grace and explained to her what had happened, and instantly she was attempting to help me out with some kind of excuse, but I knew I couldn't lie to Oscar again, not on such a large scale. Lies were becoming too easy a thing for me to do, and I refused to get into the habit of it.
As I reached my street, rain began to fall, drizzling on my cotton hoodie tossed over my head. The cold rain on my face was becoming more of a daily occurrence. It only made me more miserable about my upcoming future events, loneliness and lies, the sequel to my already chaotic life.
By the time I had reached half way up the hill to my home, the rain had begun to fall heavily from the sky. Grace had called me and told me she was on her way home from the supermarket, and would be at least ten minutes, but within ten minutes, I would already be home, soaking wet.
I pulled my hoodie as far over my head as I could, and then a distinct rumble and grumble of a car began from behind me, a car that I immediately knew who it belonged to. I closed my eyes and pretended that I couldn't hear it, pretended that I didn't know who it was and what they would inevitably do, but it was ineffective.
The dark coal car pulled up alongside me, the passenger window slowly scrolling down.