I had just finished taking a long shower. The hot water had soothed the need for warmth of a loved one. Wet hair clung to skin when I stepped out of the bathroom and looked for my hair dryer. I had changed into simple white cotton tee and black silk shorts because I was ready to crash hard and even though I needed to put food in my mouth, the thought of it churned my stomach. My apartment was my safe space and something I could call home although I didn't see much of a future here after the day I'd had. I was going to have to move back in with my parents and look for a job now that the hopes of starting my own business had perished. It didn't make me feel any good about by any means. Suddenly I heard a knock at my door. I wasn't expecting anyone at this hour and the door man hadn't even called to confirm. I wondered who it was as I made my way to receive the intruder.
Opening the door, I was met with a familiar face. Ares. The sight of him knocked the breath out of me. Christ! How was I supposed to function when every time I saw him, my brain crashed. But it was the pure male beauty of him that made my heart rate go up. He looked younger than he did earlier now that he was in a pair of jeans, and a plain white tee over his ripped body. A jacket covered his arms but didn't hide the physique underneath. There was no way he looked that gorgeous and had that much power. He looked just like any other guy coming over to hang out with his girlfriend, but there was nothing ordinary about him. Without his suit, I could see the muscles of his arms and defined biceps. God, he worked out good! His dark locks of hair were pushed back like he usually did and showed off a clear view of those gorgeous blue eyes.
How did he find me? I had never given him my address.
"Ares?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
He stepped into my apartment and instantly paused. "Jesus Christ, Luna! Is that how you open the door to strangers?" I wasn't sure what he was talking about until I noticed myself and found my top was soaking wet from my hair and had left behind a spot across my chest. Of course, it also meant it had sheered out the fabric and my lack of under-garments had revealed my breasts to the man in front of me.
"What are you doing here?" I tried to play it off cool like it didn't bother me to be found in this state.
He stood there, a soft smile on his face. "I needed to see you, Luna," he said, his voice filled with an emotion I couldn't quite place.
"But how did you find me?" I asked, my mind racing with questions. "I never gave you, my address."
Ares simply shrugged. "I have my ways," he said, a hint of mischief in his eyes. I didn't doubt that. "You had me followed." He wisely didn't respond.
"Why are you here, Ares?"
"You're driving me crazy, Luna. You're teasing and taunting me about bringing home an asshole from the bar. How could I stay away." It was then I realised he was jealous. He was here to make sure I hadn't brought over a guy. In that moment, I wished I had just to see his reaction.
"You've managed to stay away for five years well enough." Grief washed over his beautiful face, and it almost made me feel bad for him. Almost. But Ares was good at masking his emotions and so he did, turning his face into an impassive wall. That made me want to piss him off even more. "I'm sure Valentina provided the much-needed help."
"Damnit, Luna! We broke up, should I have remained celibate for the rest of my life?" A bitter laugh left my throat. As sexual as the man in front of me was, no one could expect him to be a monk. His insanely gorgeous body didn't help either. Women would throw themselves at him any chance they got, even when we were together. But that didn't mean it didn't bother me. He continued, "I imagine you have dated since we ended as well."
His expression changed from irritation to disbelief when he saw my face. He stepped closer and held me by my arms, urging me to face him, but I couldn't. "You haven't." It wasn't a question. But I answered anyway. "I couldn't." Our separation had broken a part of me that left me incapable of ever loving someone again. As silly as it sounded, I was married to him in my mind and wanted to stay loyal to his memories.
"What about casual sex? I remember how sexual you were." His question served me with a reminder of the devastating time I had after him.
"I couldn't bear to think of having someone else's hands over me." When Ares left my sex drive had plunged into the deepest core of the earth. I had never desired anyone, never wanted anyone. No one matched up to him. No one was good enough. It was as if he owned my pleasure and I never wanted to give myself to anyone else.
"Luna..." I saw him swallow hard. "I'm sorry. Christ!" His gaze dropped down my wet shirt and he lunged forward to kiss me. I stumbled back with the force, but he held me in place, not wasting a moment to taste me. He coaxed my lips open and made sweet love to them with a tenderness that flowered me open to him.
It wasn't fair of me to expect him to never be with any other woman. It didn't help that he fucked so often and so hard leaving the women he bedded desperate and wanting for more. Who could blame Valentina for being in love with him?
"You can't be here. We shouldn't." I broke free form the kiss which seemed like the hardest thing to do but it was necessary.
He stepped back and handed me a gift bag that somehow magically appeared in his hands. I was too lost to notice it earlier, but it remained on my coffee table when he was kissing me. I saw a bottle of Cristal and was surprised that he remembered it was my favourite choice of drink to celebrate. "What are we celebrating?"
"Don't open it yet. You'll know when the day comes." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I didn't miss the silent promise of him being in life for more period than I earlier thought.
"Okay." Ares moved in my apartment taking in the colour of the walls. They were a pale shade of beige that brightened up the space whenever sunlight intruded through the tall windows. Faint sound of traffic horns was a constant reminder of the bustling city life. I hadn't made any friends in this city yet having moved here just a month ago. Which young, single woman spent her evenings holed up in her apartment? But had barely settled here and now I couldn't wait to run away in another direction.
He sat down in one of the single seaters and propped a leg over the other. A gesture that meant he was getting too comfortable in my place. I placed the bottle in the cabinets and returned to the living room. No man had been here before, so I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be this crowded. His eyes fell on the object lounging across the brown cushions. He leaned forward to pick up a stuffed toy, realisation sparkling in his eyes. It was something I usually carried with me to provide me comfort when I was too low or needed some emotional support. A prize, the man himself had won for me at a carnival many years ago that I had cherished dearer than life. His jacket moved to the side and that's when I saw it. I sucked in a sharp breath.
"You still have Mario?" He inquired look at the stuffed brown bear in his hand. Mario had seen better days, but I kept him to hold onto the memories of the man it reminded me of. Nonetheless, it was the object tucked and concealed into the hidden pocket on the inner side of his jacket that had me at loss for words. My world began to spin.
Ares followed my gaze and noticed the gun in his hand. He froze for an instant, like a startled deer. "Why do you have a gun?" He sighed audibly and fixed his jacket to obstruct my view but there was no denying that he never wanted me to know about it.
His jaw clenched. "It's for protection." He answered.
"You thought I was going to hurt you?"
"No, Christ!" He stood to tower over me. My head began to spin. What the hell was happening? "Listen, there are things about me that you don't know. I carry a firearm because I need to be ready at all times." He didn't elaborate so I questioned him.
"Are you in danger?" The thought made me uneasy. When he had left me many years ago, I could barely survive but the thought of him existing, even if it was without me, gave me a purpose in life. How would I survive in this world if Ares no longer breathed. The feeling made it difficult for me to breathe. He moved closer and held my face. He must've noticed the fear in my voice. "I'm okay. I just carry it around for extra protection. There's nothing you need to worry about."
But what did he need protection from? Surely a wealthy man made a few enemies along his way but what possessed him to carry a weapon while meeting an ex-girlfriend?
I knew he only he could provide answers to my question, but I wasn't sure I was going to like them.
Ares invited himself for dinner over my objections. I wanted a quietnight, but his jealousy over an imaginary guy I was supposed to meet tonightmade me feel a little proud of myself for getting under his skin.
"Do you still like pizza?" He asked looking at the menu on his phone. "Whatever." I shrugged off. It used to be our go-to meal back when we were still in college and broke but now, he looked like someone who could dine in the finest restaurants and not bat an eye at the cheque. This made me wonder how he had amassed so much wealth in such a short time.
"Pizza it is then." My appetite had returned but I was still not sure if having dinner with him was a good idea. He placed the order and lounged in my living room. His jacket was tossed on the armrest of the couch which showed me the cut of his biceps and the sheer masculinity oozing out of him. Who needed alcohol when one could get drunk on Ares Rafaelli's pheromones?
"Don't look at me like that." The warning was clear in his tone. I reddened realising he had caught me undressing him with my eyes. He had only gotten hotter with age but he remained as sexy to me as he was when I first fell in love with him.
"Like what?" I teased.
"Don't play innocent." He pulled me on his side and trapped me underneath him. The weight of him wasn't crushing me but he made sure he put enough pressure to cage me. My chest rose and fell with heavy pants drawing his attention to my hardened nipples. Damn the cold! Ares licked his lip and paused for a moment giving me only one of his dangerous looks as a warning before dipping his head down and enclosing his lips around my nipples.
"Oh God!" The fabric did nothing to stop him from licking and drawing the buds in his mouth. He wet the area with his tongue and teased me with wicked flicks. It sent shivers down my spine and aroused me deeply. While he showed the same attention to my other breast, I couldn't help but shut my eyes and bite back another moan. It was so easy to get lost in the pleasure. He could do that to me.
"Don't hide your beautiful eyes from me, Luna. I want you to watch what I'm about to do to you." The threat turned me on like no other. My body softened and relaxed as if prepping itself for whatever Ares had in mind for me.
Take me, ravish me, claim me. My body felt like it was on fire. Only he could calm the burning lust in me.
"Ares, what are you doing?" I hated how needy I sounded when I should've pushed him away.
His grip on me loosened but I would be mistaken to think he was letting me go. Without giving me any more chance to pretend like I didn't want him, he slid his hands in my shorts. "Oh my God!" I was blushing hard when he flashed me a look that told me he had found me soaking wet.
"You're so beautiful, so sexy. You're so wet for me. I'm going to make the wait worth it for you." He pushed a finger just enough to find my clit and teased me mercilessly until I was a blabbering mess. He drew circles on the flesh eliciting moans of pleasures and whimpers for more. My knees felt weak, and my body fell limp. "You're so soft and needy." He pulled my shorts down to bare me from the waist down. I had groomed myself like I always did but he looked like he was physically aching for the sight of me.
"Your cunt is so perfect. So beautiful."
"Ares." I was overwhelmed, aroused and deeply in love with him.
But him?
He was.... "I have thought about this every single day for the past five years."
"Ares!" I cried, actual tears stinging my eyes when he lowered his mouth to my sex.
The memories of the time we had spent together came crashing down my mind when he tongued me like a caveman whose primal needs made him unable to think straight. My hands gripped onto the silky locks of his hair when he ate me out with such ferocity that it had me seeing stars behind my eyes. A tension in my belly made me aware of how skillfully he was pleasuring me.
"Tell me how you feel." He ordered. My throat was dry. I took a moment to respond. "Your mouth, God! Your mouth feels like heaven. Don't ever stop. Make me .." yours, I wanted to say but held myself. But the truth was Ares Rafaelli had just made sure I was ruined for anyone else. He had possessed me, defiled me, claimed me. The sight of him was going to haunt me forever. He was my dream come true and I was irrevocably in love with him. Seven years later, I was still falling for him.
He had ruined me, and I doubted I wanted it any different.
_____
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