Chapter 6: Sebastian's Journal
"I just wanted you to know,
this is me trying,"
Taylor Swift
The confrontation between Sebastian Sallow and Penelope Silverthorn was awkward. There were no other words to describe the setting between two old yearning hearts that had so much to say, yet, nothing to say.
Penelope's throat tickled, wanting to choke out from the nerves as her eyes reflected on the young professor yards away.
Just keep walking, Pen. Just keep walking. She reminded herself.
Sebastian Sallow stood in a wide stance, his long fingers gripping the papers in hand tightly as he bit the inside of his cheek from the unusual tension between himself and his ex-lover.
Merlin should've punished him for taking this much of his own time just playing the eye contact game with Penelope Silverthron. It felt wrong and unprofessional — but it also felt comforting.
No, Sallow.
"I...I'm sorry, I—"
"No need," Sebastian cut in, stepping aside, giving guidance for Penelope to go up those stairs that he was blocking.
Penelope mentally slapped herself for feeling the temperature from the side of her face rise quickly. She kept her stare down, hoping Sebastian wouldn't notice the embarrassment of her nervous system as she walked slowly.
"Pardon me." Penelope gave a low nod, passing beside Sebastian with no more eye contact.
No more eye contact, but the contact itself — let's just say, Merlin does seem to work his way out of things.
Penelope Silverthorn wondered why she didn't walk around him. Or how there was so much space on that first floor of the Faculty Tower, yet she took the impulsive decision to pass inches from him.
It might've been Sebastian Sallow's fault too. On his end, it was his fault. He shouldn't have moved his arm when Penelope passed him. He should've stayed put like he was, but the impulsive decision to move while she moved was there.
As Sebastian lowered his arm from his papers, his fingers brushed through Penelope's wrist, taking touch of the skin for seconds — maybe, even milliseconds.
But those milliseconds felt like an eternity.
Sebastian Sallow's jaw tightened at the gesture, but didn't move. He just heard the footsteps of Penelope Silverthorn continue, ignoring the contact and going up the stairs in a hasting manner.
Penelope Silverthorn's chest rose in and out once that bedroom door shut completely on the second floor. Her right hand stayed glued to the doorknob as her back lay flatly against the wooden door, eyes closed as she took in the silent interaction.
It was exaggerating. Nothing about that interaction should've been affecting her in any way.
The man was engaged. It had been eight years. It was over.
It took Penelope a great five minutes to adjust herself to what happened, letting it go through her like a normal pass-in and proceeding into her room.
Her body sat at the edge of that full-size bed in agony, reflecting on the real true task of her visit and why she was really here.
Luna wasn't even around for comfort, but the dog seemed happier in a huge Vivarium with other pets. The least Penelope could've done was have another excuse to leave the room.
Penelope scrambled over to her bedroom, taking the time between noon and evening to kill time before dinner at the Great Hall.
The wand in her hand swirled multiple times, doing fixtures over the vintage room, making it feel more "modern" — it ended up being nearly similar to her small apartment in New York.
New York, right.
Penelope didn't want to allure the idea of being at Hogwarts, again. She had a life now on the other side of the world, plus, the unexpected presence of her old lover wasn't on the plans. The stay became more like a bubble.
"Accio documents," Penelope pointed, feeling the stacks of the portfolio clutched over her in the office area of the space.
Affected Hogwarts Students:
Location: St. Mungos
Estellar Mellen, 15, Hufflepuff
Nillon Carrow, 12, Slytherin
Symptoms:
- Loss of hearing
- Pale/yellow skin
- Hallucinations (Night terrors) (Victim has to be magically strapped down for sleep)
- Starvation (Loss of appetite)
New List of Potential Students:
Meredith Lima, 13, Ravenclaw
- Has refused dinner the last week
- Dormitory girls have reported unusual sleep-walking
Greg Brown, 11, Gryffindor
- Fainted twice in Muggle Studies (located in dungeons)
"Hmm," Penelope tilted her head on that desk, her quill tapping over the reports, unaware of what to gather out of the information.
There were reflections over Penelope Silverthorn's head on her studies that afternoon.
Loss of hearing — she does remember losing hearing from her left ear when traces of ancient magic would gather nearby.
Night terrors — I just experienced one since my arrival, she thought.
Penelope's eyes squinted, her quill tapping more over the papers at the odd related symptoms.
"Things aren't correlating," Penelope spoke to herself at the data, "It'll be a coinci—"
Penelope's own speaking was interrupted when a few knocks echoed through her door feet away. The tapping of the writing quill stopped and her head turned upward, looking at the enchanted clock.
Almost dinner time.
"I did promise Poppy I'll see her around dinner time," Penelope sighed, closing the book.
But Poppy Sweeting was always early at her arrivals.
"Just a sec, Pop!" Penelope let out, snatching the same beige cardigan hanging from flying bird hooks in the hair, and slid it on.
Penelope's preparation was quick and in no time, her fingers curled over the knob, spreading the door wide open and confronting the early Hufflepuff.
Although it wasn't the Hufflepuff, nor a friend.
Sebastian Sallow stood in that doorway, almost breathless, but Penelope did not catch it. He now seemed more uplifting in emotion compared to a few hours ago. His lips were wet and parted at the sight and he seemed like he debated whether this was a good idea or not.
Penelope, on the other hand, was speechless. Silently speechless. There was no form to express the shock of seeing the man show up in her room, let alone, right now, but she needed to keep character.
...
Fifth year Penelope Silverthorn laid in her bed, fully clothed after a war-like battle in the Forbidden Foreset earlier that day. The anger was so high, that her boots didn't even make it off the dormitory bed.
"Are you not going to change? Dinner starts soon, Pen." Imelda Reyes told Penelope. There was a face of disgust and concern to see Penelope a little off her normal mood since her return.
Penelope's eyes didn't move from her studious book in hand, "I'm not hungry."
"Ugh, please! It's been days. You never miss out on the food. I know you by now." Imelda rolled her eyes, "What's up your sleeve? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something?"
Penelope frowned. Of course, it wasn't Imelda Reyes fault that Sebastian Sallow had called her ignorant days prior, but the moment was so upsetting, she was ready to express her emotions to someone.
"Hello?!" Imelda hammered from afar, raising her arms to get Penelope's attention, but Penelope ignored her.
A sudden burst of knocks rang through the dormitory. Since only two of the four girls were in there, the knocks vibrated through, making Penelope drop her book in her chest and turn to Imelda.
"Ugh!" Imelda rolled her eyes once again, flopping her own body, "Merlin, who knocks this hard! Seriously! Why is everyone having a bloody bad day!"
Penelope resumed back to her reading, her brows furrowing in concentration before she heard the voices from afar.
"Sallow!? What—what the heck are you doing? How did you even—"
"Where is she?"
Again, Penelope's book flopped over her chest and her body rose, sitting up quickly from the bed; her heart dropped at the sound of the boy from afar, but she maintained her back on him, pretending as if him looking for her didn't cause a deep feeling.
"Who? Pen?" Imelda questioned, her head turning and taking sight of Penelope, whose back was facing them, clearly connecting the puzzle.
Fifth year Sebastian Sallow stood breathlessly on that dormitory door frame, a bruise on his forehead from attempting to fight off the moving stairs that prevented the males from entering the female halls.
"Ah, I see," Imelda let out slowly, extending her words and growing a cocky smile over at Penelope then at Sebastian, "First fight already?"
"Piss off, Imelda." Penelope murmured under her mouth, her head still not turning back.
Imelda smirked, "You know, I was going to be nice and kick him out of our dorm, but since you told me to piss off," she stepped aside, letting the Slytherin boy take view, "Whatever you did, Sallow, you'll pay for it. She was bonkers all week." She said before exiting the dormitory.
Sebastian Sallow did not enter the dormitory. He kept his respect and held himself together over the frames, apologizing to the girl in her bed.
"Pen—"
"You step one foot past that doorway and I'll use my ancient magic to lure you out," Penelope warned, "Worser than those stairs, Sallow."
Sebastian's fingers tingled a little at the warnings, he enjoyed them, but he did mess up this time by insulting her on that Undercroft. There was no time for games right now.
"I am sorry," Sebastian sighed, "Pen, you don't know how sorry I am. It was a rough moment and the goblin mention—hey! Are you reading a book as I apologize?!" He scoffed at the sight.
Penelope sat on that bed, crossing her knees over each other as she read the book, ignoring him.
"What? Did you say something?" She turned her head, giving him the side view, "This is just me being ignorant like you said."
Sebastian rolled his tongue over his cheek, wanting to laugh at the statement, but sighed loudly again, preventing himself from entering that room and taking the book away from her.
"Pen, seriously. I am not good at this stuff."
"Not good at what? Calling me names after I busted my arse in a mine with you? And tried helping? You're actually a pro." Penelope fought.
"Accio book!" Sebastian's wand pointed toward the book Penelope held in hand and brought it upon himself, making her react.
Penelope let out a faint groan, having no choice, but to stand up and confront the messy brown hairs at the entrance of her room.
"Give it back, Sallow!"
Sebastian backed away a little, holding in his smile at the closeness with the new student. Sometimes, he felt lucky for being in the same house as her, all these advantages with her — calm yourself, Sallow, he thought to himself.
"Accept my apology first." Sebastian rose a brow.
Penelope scoffed at him, "No."
"No book then."
"Don't care. I'll get another from the Restricted Section." Penelope said in confidence.
Sebastian's thick brows rose in astonishment at the words coming out of the female in front of him. You would've thought someone had told him he won the lottery.
"Ah, learning my mechanism already?" He teased her, hoping to break the ice and spark the mood between them.
"Care to remind you, we are both from the same house? Common interest." Penelope lied. She, in fact, was learning the mechanisms of Sebastian Sallow without noticing.
Sebastian nodded slowly, staring down at the girl, examining the attire on her, and tilting his head.
"Another adventure, I see." He said, attempting to make a conversation.
Penelope wanted to ignore him, shut the door on him, and yell, but it was no use. He was there. He went through those rough stairs to apologize.
"Yup." Penelope responded.
"Without me?" Sebastian asked.
"So you can call me ignorant, again?"
Sebastian groaned, "I said I'm sorry. How many times do I have to apologize to you?" He went on his knees on that floor.
Penelope flushed hard at the unexpected actions Sebastian Sallow let out and she gasped, looking around, hoping the other Slytherin girls wouldn't notice the chaos.
"Sebastian, what are you—"
"Perhaps, you came from royalty. Shall I bend my knee for forgiveness? What should it take? Would I have to cut an arm for this? You tell me?" Sebastian joked.
Expecting Penelope to freak out and forgive him on the spot, instead, she backed away and closed one eye, enjoying seeing the Slytherin boy on his knees.
"Too bad." Penelope said, "You stay there. I won't forgive you. Not that easily."
Sebastian closed his eyes and stayed on the floor, "Pen..."
Penelope took the book from Sebastian's hand and passed him, "Excuse me, I have dinner to attend."
"This isn't fair."
"Should've never called me ignorant." Penelope said before walking through the dormitory halls and disappearing from Sebastian Sallow's sight.
Sebastian sat there on his knees, reflecting on his actions before growing a smile. He enjoyed it. No matter how hard it would be to beg for forgiveness, he loved a challenge.
...
Penelope Silverthorn stood there, her eyes fixated on the twenty six year old professor in front of her. Her cheeks hotter than usual
"P-Pardon me," Sebastian Sallow gave out the first words, and he spoke with small movements in his arms, "I, erm..." he looked down.
Penelope's posture was up at the speaking, and she didn't say anything. She let him speak while noticing a journal in his hand. It was wrapped over with a string and he gripped it hard.
"Professor Weas—I mean, Headmistress Matilda," Sebastian corrected, "Requested me to give you the notes I've taken for the ongoing case." He lifted a finger, wiping the tip of his nose.
Penelope did remember the mention of Matilda Weasley referencing Sebastian Sallow's note-taking in the faculty meeting, but she never thought it would be this way.
Sebastian lifted the journal from his side, bringing it over Penelope's level, "I should have given it to you at the meeting, but I caught my tongue and all."
Penelope's tongue was about to be caught too.
She took the book from his hand in a gentle matter, nodding as she spoke lowly, "That's alright. T-Thank you, Seb—" she closed her eyes at the correction, "Mister Sallow."
Sebastian Sallow's throat caught on dry at the name call, but he also had to remind himself that they were adults. Acquaintances. Not even enough to be friends to call each other by first names.
Sebastian nodded, watching Penelope's small hand clutch over the important brown journal he always had.
"I aim a few of the questions you might be having over all this could be answered in there." Sebastian advised.
Yeah, the question on how he was engaged? Penelope joked to herself in hurt.
"Right. Thank you." Penelope pressed her lips together, the material of the journal catching her attention from the touch.
There was a moment of silence between both bodies. They were only a doorway away, but it would be wrong to invite him in. This felt wrong already.
Yet, they were not doing anything. Just talking like two faculty members. Right?
"I'll make sure you get it back—"
"No rush," Sebastian plunged, "Just take your time on the knowledge and situation. You are a few months behind."
Penelope wasn't used to the professional talk. She almost felt like a student herself by the way Sebastian Sallow spoke to her, but she had never experienced a version of him that didn't care about her. It was different.
"It's just a few months. I can catch up." Penelope said in confidence, her personality trait never leaving her.
"A lot can happen in a few months," Sebastian said more coldly, the topic shifting.
Although there were no specifics on the subject, you can tell that Sebastian Sallow was no longer referring to the plague. It was a metaphor.
Penelope looked down, not wanting to let his cold tone get to her. She understood the grudge.
"Well, I am here now," Penelope argued, metaphorically, "And I am hoping to be a great help...to the team." Her last words we delayed.
Sebastian Sallow scrunched his nose a little at Penelope's words. He had a fist on his side, not from anger, but from holding in his truth.
They were both so well-spoken, they understood each other too well to depict their conversational language.
"I'm sure you will." Sebastian said bluntly, his eyes never leaving hers.
Penelope's dark lashes shifted as she maintained confrontation with Sebastian above her. The height difference was bizarre, and she didn't think he'll keep growing after graduation, but he did.
Sebastian Sallow fought himself to not observe Penelope Silverthorn. There was no need. He was going to be a married man one day and the least he could do was admire someone else's beauty. It felt wrong.
But it was Penelope. The Penelope. His Penelope.
He watched as her long wavy hair sat nicely over her shoulders; the baby hairs around her forehead always staying the same for the last eight years. Or how her long eyelashes seemed to sweat naturally, giving a vibrant glow over the color of her eyes. The light reflecting into a sight on them.
And her skin, oh her skin — he was guilty of spending years trying to find her in every women, but he couldn't. He never did. How could he? How can someone compare to such skin touch? The softness in her face while her fingers were rough from all the ancient magic she'll fuel. He would memorize the patterns of the marks on her skin. Every kiss he left, especially on her hands. The one that now held a ring on it.
It's like those eight years were non-existent. She was the same, but better. He was jealous. Frustrated.
Penelope Silverthorn knew there was so much to say, but the prediction of an engaged man speaking with a former lover sounded awful. Wrong.
"And I'm sure I will....better with the notes," Penelope broke the contact, waving around the thick brown journal in hand, "Thank you, Professor Sallow...I, uh...I'll work on catching up."
Sebastian sighed to himself, the sigh was low, low enough that Penelope didn't hear, but he brought his posture to reality, also nodding at her words.
"Right, of course," Sebastian cleared his throat, setting a hand inside his pant pocket, "I suppose, I'll see you around, Miss...Silverthorn."
"Yeah," Penelope said, awkwardly, her fingers now being the ones gripping the book tightly, "I'll see you around."
It felt like a slow leave. They seemed to be waiting for one another to pull the departure, but they didn't. Sebastian had to move first.
And Penelope watched as he gave her one last nod and turned his body around, disappearing from view.
Penelope Silverthorn did not close that door. She just watched as the brown-haired man went down those stairs as she looked down at the journal in her hand.
The cover seemed rough, but well taken care of. The color was slightly washed off and the pages were tied over with a string.
This book belongs to:
Sebastian Sallow
Penelope was always jealous of Sebastian Sallow's beautiful handwriting. She couldn't imagine how it was now as a professor on a chalkboard.
Penelope flipped through those pages, skimming around and adoring the handwriting she once missed — but the journal still kept her attention span high.
"Hm,"
Her hands brought the journal upward, her eyes observing more than usual as the wand fabricated over it.
And it clicked.
Penelope gave a sigh of emotion, finally discovering the meaning behind the journal. It wasn't just a regular journal.
"You kept the gifts I gave you." Penelope Silverthorn whispered to herself at the realization.
___________
I have so many ideas planned for this book. I am so excited.
See you soon!
I also made an author instagram, I shall be posting soon for funsies — @authorellasallow !
We also have a Discord (18+) if you want to discuss further more the books or just have fun in general & meet new people! 💚