The time had shifted. It was moving so quickly. Acceleration. She had to be ready to move with it. In just shy of a week it would be August. All of the students would return to school August 10th. That did not leave her much break. But she had made it this whole summer and for that she was proud. Heading into her locker area, she unbuttoned her shirt and flapped the material around trying to cool herself off. It always felt like the school did not have any air when she knew it did. Lord. Smoothing some hair back from her face, she sighed. After this, she was supposed to go out with Aiko and her friends, friends she would be meeting for the first time. She was excited but nervous too. What if they were not as gracious as Aiko?
"My my... such a pity." She leaned down to take off her shoes. The light chatter from the other end of the locker room was but a slight buzz in her ear.
"I cannot believe it."
"It is quite sad."
"Very much so." She lifted up to smooth her skirts when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she grew stiff.
"Hi." She felt cold but yet her mouth moved.
"Hi." Eyes looked over her appearance.
"This is how you look hm? Not quite so glamorous."
"The same can't be said of you." That damned glossy hair. The freshly manicured nails. The dark gloss.
"Why are you here?" It was crazy to even process this. Here was a girl who hated her standing in front of her in a uniform much like her own.
"You don't know?" She stiffened her lips.
"Can't even guess."
"Well, I wanted to see you. That's all."
"So you pretend to be a student here?"
"No pretending going on. I did attend this school. I was worthy of this place."
"And I'm not?"
"That's besides the point." She leaned back against her locker, arms crossed.
"What do you want? Why are you wasting my time?" Lips smiled.
"I just wanted to see you." She rolled her eyes and turned to grab her things. She had no time for her. Not today. It was bad enough that she had actually tried to creep in here but now she was talking to her like nothing was wrong. Like nothing had ever happened between them.
"I do not have time for your foolishness today. I gotta go. It's been a long day." She moved out of her way without much fight and followed her down the hallway.
"Meeting someone are you? That why you in such a rush?" Her hand tightened on her bag.
"That ain't none of your business."
"I believe it is." She felt a hand grip her bag and stop her.
"I came to be nice. So nice I'll be. I'll give you this one warning. The last time you didn't seem to get it. But the next time you do not listen to me, something even worse will happen to you Marshall." Icy tendrils of fear slid up her spine.
"Don't threaten me."
"Listen well. If you do not cut ties, I will cut them for you. You think you can escape me. But I am everywhere and I can always find you. Remember that." She was shoved and despite the anger she felt, tears welled up in her eyes. She dared not look back and hurried into the awaiting car.
***
"You're unusually quiet today." She turned from his gaze and said not a word. She knew if she said anything, she would burst into tears.
"I'm.. fine Hiroto."
"You're not."
"Don't push me. I'm not in a good mood right now." She looked into an indifferent expression but she noticed the way his hands gripped the stirring wheel.
"Whatever happened at school I hope it does not happen again." The conversation died down and soon it was quiet again. She pressed her forehead against the window and let the cool glass soothe her. It was not her day today.
"Would you like to go somewhere?"
"Home."
"No where else?"
"I said home Hiroto." Again, his fingers tensed but he dropped the issue or so she thought.
"Ebere," The use of her full name made her look at him.
"I will pull over if you do not start talking."
"Pull over. I'll walk."
"Seriously?"
"What?" He pressed on the brakes and the car came to a slow stop on the side of the road.
"You were not like this this morning. I am going to ask again. What happened today?" She scoffed and turned away.
"None of your damn business." He bristled.
"I'm not always spring flowers you know." He was quiet.
"You've gotten used to seeing me one way." She grabbed her things and prepared to get out.
"Rae..."
"It's cool. If you won't drive me, I'll walk. Unlock the door." His jaw tightened and he turned to look fully at her, his face showing irritation.
"I am only trying to help."
"I don't need your help. Let me out." He clicked the lock and she got out before slamming the door.
"If that is how you want it then I will not fight you. Have a great walk." And like that he was gone. She stood there gripping her bag and the tears started to fall. She had never really fought with Hiroto before. Specially over something stupid. Biting her lips, she sighed. If you do not break ties with him...I will for you. Lashing out at him was not going to solve anything. She needed to figure out just exactly what she was going to do because inside, it seemed the wall was starting to crumble.
***
Two days. Two days had gone by without hearing anything from her. The time was driving him crazy. He felt torn up inside about how he had reacted. He should not have lost his temper the way he did. But she was being so damn mouthy. For what? She acted like he had pissed her off or something. He didn't understand.
"Hiroto." His eyes opened.
"Hiroto, open the door. I know you in there." He sat up from the couch and glanced towards the door. Why was she here? So suddenly?
"The door is open." Soon, the door opened and she walked into the living room. He swallowed thickly and looked down.
"Look... I..."
"Would you like something to drink?"
"No."
"Eat?"
"No."
"Mm."
"Hiroto, look at me." He tightened his fists and slowly brought his gaze up to hers. Her gaze was watery.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should not have... treated you the way I did."
"Hm."
"I had a really bad day. And you were the closest thing around me. I should not have taken it out on you."
"..."
"Say something."
"Tell me what happened." She looked away and sighed.
"I had someone come see me after school. They said something that really scared me." His brow creased.
"Who was this someone?" Could she have been getting bullied?
"Just... just a person."
"Rae, if it is a bully-"
"What can you do? You can't save me all the time Hiroto!"
"What did this person say to you?"
"... Just something to shake me up."
"Rae why will you not tell me what is going on?"
"Because."
"Because what?"
"I..." I don't want you to get hurt.
"It's none of your business." He sighed.
"I give up. I cannot force you to speak to me." He stood up.
"Let me make one thing clear to you." He looked into her eyes.
"Your secrecy is not sitting well with me." She turned away from him.
"I don't want you to get hurt." He pulled her back against him and sighed against her shoulder. She was warm but she trembled like a scared kitten.
"Why would I get hurt?"
"If I stay away from you... I have to this time." He blinked and brought her gaze to his.
"What are you talking about Rae?"
"They are serious this time Hiroto."
"Who?"
"... You know."
"Tell me."
"Emi." His grip tightened on her shoulders. Emi?! Emi had come up to her school? The anger he felt at that moment was frightening even to him.
"When did she come?"
"That day...she... she threatened me Hiroto. And the girl actually seemed serious. Somethin ain't right about her. The look in her eyes was crazy." He turned her around to look at him.
"What did she tell you?" She licked her lips and took a breath.
"She said I had to cut ties with you or she would cut them herself."
"Over my dead body."
"Hiroto, she ain't playin this time. Can you imagine how scary it was to see her walk right up to me in a uniform like mine and talk to me... threaten me so casually in front of all those other girls?"
"I will not let her hurt you."
"What if she comes for you?"
"I can handle her Rae." She shook her head.
"I want you to call me as soon as you are in your last period tomorrow. Not a minute too soon. Or too late."
"What will you do?"
"I'll make sure she never hurts anyone else again." The words came out hard and sure. If Emi thought visiting Rae personally was big, she had no idea what was in store for her. He had did her bidding for the last time. She was playing games with the people he had come to love. That was something he could not forgive. If she ever laid another hand on Rae, she would never touch anything again.
***
"Rae? You okay?" She looked up into the eyes of Aiko and Shinju, a friend of hers.
"Huh?"
"You okay I said. You been acting real funny this week."
"Yeah I'm fine!"
"Hm. Shinju what you think?" Shinju looked unconvinced.
"What on mind Marshall." Shinju was a kind girl from what she could tell. Bashful and timid but very compassionate for her friends.
"Nothing is wrong Tabemasa."
"Is someone messin with you?" She looked away.
"No good. Who is she?" Momo spoke up, her cheeks puffed up in irritation.
"Momo, really! Why are y'all so gung ho to go beat somebody up for me?" The small circle of girls giggled.
"If you are Aiko's friend, you are our friend! We are very protective of our friends!" A girl named Rie spoke up, putting her hands on her hips. She smiled. They were a small bunch but if they were friends with Aiko, she knew that they were good people. She wondered what their stories were. How they came to be friends.
"It's kinda early to be calling me a friend." Momo waved her hand.
"Is not! Give us a chance Marshall! We are not bad people!"
"Yeah! We are really nice! We do not care you are foreigner or different color!" Shinju added with a happy smile on her face. Sighing, she nodded. Why she was so resistant was because of the past. Her past. But she had opened up to Hiroto, Tobu and Aiko. She should give them a chance.
"Okay... I had a bad day and got into a little scuff with Iwase." Momo grinned.
"Ah, your boyfriend." Her cheeks were hot coals.
"NO! We are not dating."
"You know... everyone talks about you two Marshall." She swallowed thickly.
"I've heard. They've been talking about me since I got here."
"This is true. But see most of us know Iwase some way. He is poster kid for the school. City. He might as well be up there with the Presidential Family." They all laughed.
"Momo you are a mess." She chuckled.
"Well... I speak the truth."
"Not all of it."
"What about y'all datin?" Aiko spoke up with a goofy expression on her face.
"If y'all don't leave me alone about Iwase..."
"Okay we quit." They all shared a humorous look.
"Yes. We stop."
"Now, wipe the frown off ya face. You too pretty to be like this. If you got a bully, Rie and Momo got em."
"They got em? What they gon do?"
"We got your back Rae. That's all we are sayin." She got up from her desk and smiled.
"I appreciate y'all. Really. But it ain't that big of a deal... nothin y'all should be concernin y'all selves with."
"Sure?"
"Yes Aiko. Now, don't worry about me."
"Fine. Gon get your things. The girls and I are doing pizza and movie night tonight. You know you comin right?"
"Mmhm."
"Kay. Be at your house about 7."
"Sounds good."
"It was nice meeting you all." She bowed and they smiled and bowed in return.
"Likewise Marshall. We excite to spend time with you!"
"Me too. Lemme just go get my bag."
"I go." Shinju volunteered with a cheery smile.
"Come on." They went towards the locker room. It had been a few days since and she hadn't seen Emi. She was starting to come back to herself. The self that didn't take no mess. She refused to let some girl who obsessed over Hiroto punk her out. That was unacceptable. She didn't know bout her at all. If she kept playing games, that fear would turn to anger and she would know all about it.
"How long you go school here?" Shinju asked, leaning back against a locker as she got into hers.
"Just over four months. Not long at all really."
"Wah! That's a short time! You came from U.S?"
"Yeah."
"Why Japan? Nice school in U.S."
"Japan has some better schools in my opinion. There may be flaws in every place. But I like it here."
"That is good."
"Mmhm." She got her bag and stored her books away and shut the locker.
"Ready?"
"Yes." They left back out the locker room and met the rest of the girls who waited by the door. She was going to enjoy herself this weekend and forget all about what happened. She didn't have a choice.
***
She seemed better he noted. She had been acting particularly strange since visiting with Emi. But without even a word spoken about another visit, he saw she visibly relaxed. He though was in thought. Consideration. Something within his gut would not leave him alone about it. He knew her. Rae did not. He knew her twisted mind and what she could do. What was she planning?
"Hiroto?" He looked up to find Rae standing in front of him with a smile on her face.
"Hm?"
"What were you thinking about?"
"Ah, it's nothing."
"Sure?"
"Yes."
"Well, you looked deep in thought."
"How was your weekend with your friends?" She pursed her lips but went along.
"Great! The girls are so cool. They are a great bunch. Rie know she a trip."
"Ah,"
"They remind me of my friends back home. They all just... free to be themselves. And they all encourage me to be the same."
"You're not free?" His eyebrow lifted and she poked out her lips.
"I didn't say that."
"You implied it."
"How was your guy's thing with Tobu?" He laughed. Same tactic.
"Nice."
"Just nice?"
"Just nice."
"Okay then." He chuckled and sighed, letting the sun hit his face.
"It's been a while since we've been here huh?" The grass underneath his fingers felt so solid and yet so tangible.
"It has. To be honest, coming here before you meant misery. But since coming with you, I no longer wish to be by myself. Without you here." Her heart fluttered.
"H-Hiroto..."
"Hm?"
"In a couple more days we go to school. Are you ready?" He sighed and laid back against the grass. The water flowed freely and quietly.
"Not entirely. I am awaiting the peer reception. Every single year it is the same."
"What do you mean?"
"They treat me like I am a deity. I dislike that." She laid back into the grass beside him and looked up to the swirling pink, red and purple colored clouds.
"You are Hiroto to me. No one or nothing else."
"Rae..." She turned to look into his eyes.
"What's up?"
"How long are you going to make me wait?" She blinked.
"Wait... wait for what?" It was time to stop playing games. He might as well be honest with her. He mustered up his courage and spoke.
"You." She gasped slightly. His eyes were relaxed and calm but serious.
"You're waitin for me? Why?"
"You know why."
"I don't... I don't know."
"You have to."
"Hiroto-"
"Why are you afraid?" She bristled and sat up.
"Who said I was afraid?" He slowly sat up as well and grabbed her hand.
"Hurt and fear is all over you Rae. It makes me wonder... who hurt you so deeply?" He watched her turn her eyes away and he tightened his jaw. She was mysterious. She didn't let him see who she was. Only fragments. He didn't want fragments. He wanted the whole thing.
"Let me be there for you as a friend..."
"As a friend? Were we anything but friends?" She squeezed her eyes closed and bit her lip. His breath was too warm and comforting for her in the moment, his body heat was too close. Though he wore no scents, she carried his natural warmth into her nostrils.
"We've only been what you've allowed us to be." He wanted to overstep the boundary just one time. He wanted to press his lips against her neck and know that her heart beat for him. He wanted to feel her beyond the physical limits of skin and touch. What he felt for her was so raw and real.
"Why must this be all about me?"
"You haven't been listening to me have you Rae?"
"You ain't ever said nothing."
"I have. Plenty of times. You just haven't been listening." His fingers slid up to gently caress her skin.
"Hi-Hiroto stop."
"Stop what?"
"Stop touching me. Stop breathing on me. Stop just all together. Friends don't do that." His fingers paused.
"If that's what you want." He let her go and looked at the setting sun.
"I'm not imaginary. I feel very real things for you. It is your choice Rae. Push me away. Or fall into my heart." He let the evening air rustle his hair before standing up.
"Come on."
"No."
"No?"
"Why are you saying all of this?"
"It needs to be said."
"No... it doesn't."
"There's no sense in being the only two fools in a world who can see what we are trying to ignore."
"And what are we trying to ignore?"
"You know the answer."
"Make it plain!" He squat in front of her and lifted her chin.
"I will make this as clear as I can." She swallowed with a strained throat.
"I will be whatever you need me to be. If you need someone to keep you warm at night, I'll be there. If you need me to hold you and let you cry, fine. I am giving it to you. Whatever you decide to do with my heart is your choice." Her eyes grew watery.
"Stop hiding from me. Stop walking around being who you think you should be. I never asked for a carbon copy. I asked for you." He let go of her chin and grabbed her hand to pull her up.
"Let's go." Wordless and unable to speak, she let him lead her back to his car. She moved not as he buckled her seatbelt and as he drove her home. Every part of him was put on the table tonight and she hadn't been ready for it. She hadn't been prepared to handle it. He had basically told her he loved her. But who... who fell in love after four months? Who gave their heart to someone so quickly? Weren't they entirely too young to grasp what love was? These questions he had grappled with for so long. But if it were possible, it had happened. He loved her. It had long ago entered into love. If Rae wanted to continue to pretend to not see, he would let her. For so long. As for him, he could no longer deny himself or her the truth. She could do with it what she wanted.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Call me." She sat still for the longest, not looking at him.
"Rae-"
"I'll call you." She opened the door and got out. He pulled out of the driveway and headed home.
***
She stood outside, frozen. Why couldn't she speak? The feelings rising up in her chest had threatened to overwhelm her. All his life Hiroto had never had anything to call his own. She had wandered through life having everything and nothing all at the same time. But what could she say was hers? All hers and just for her? Maybe that was why they both needed each other. The enormity of their conversation hit her in the face and she gripped her dress. Was she that blind? That scared? She didn't want to drag him. That was not fair to him.
Be honest with yourself. Stop lying to yourself. You love him. You've loved him since you laid eyes on him. Hiroto is soft and gentle. Warm and welcoming. Is it really that strange that he is exactly what... what you are missing? Sighing, she walked into the house, straight past Minako's confused expression and right into her room. The wall threatened to shatter and it was going to come down heavy. It was almost time.
***
The last day of summer school was this day. And she had woke up feeling like she had an obligation. A obligation to end the things she had let go on for too long. It was time to stop the mind games and manipulation. She had gotten so used to Hiroto being there for her that it had become an expectation. She had used him up too. How much like Emi was she now? And how fair was it to him? To love her so purely and yet inside herself, she was so afraid of letting the love for him come through? Today she would put an end to it. She had to. For both of them.
"Mina-chan, I'm off!"
"Wait Rae-chan!" She was putting on her shoes when Minako stepped into the foyer.
"Is there something wrong?" She smiled and sighed.
"Nope."
"Are you sure? Your last meeting with Iwase-kun had me worried. You looked so out of it. Did he do something?"
"No, he was fine! It was nothing he did Mina-chan. Hiroto's cool."
"Hm."
"Don't worry! I'm okay! Going now!"
"You didn't even eat breakfast!"
"Save it for me! I'll eat it up when I get home!" She frowned but waved her away.
"Okay. When you come home I make lots food!" She chuckled.
"Thanks Mina-chan." She bowed before making her way to school. She was going to pay attention to everything the teacher said. Today was such an accomplishment and she was proud of herself. You got this.
After a few classes, it was break. She found Aiko, Shinju, Rie, and Momo talking in the hallway a ways down and greeted them.
"Hey y'all!"
"Hey! You are glowin! What you do?" She sucked her teeth.
"I went to bed and got up to come to school. That's what I did." They cackled.
"You look better than you did earlier! What happened?" Rie asked, glancing at her from head to toe.
"Just a few realizations I came upon. That's all."
"Realizations?" Momo blinked.
"Yep. I gotta make some things right. I owe it to some people."
"You made things wrong?" Shinju asked with a tilt of her head.
"Yeah... but it'll work out. Anyways, what y'all doin?" Aiko smiled.
"Not much. Wonderin about you! But you sound like yourself again so I'm at peace! I was not gon let some creepy stalker bully freak my friend out. Nah."
"What was you gon do Aiko?" She asked with a grin.
"Find the bish. Ain't too many people who look different. But remarkably, a lot don't all look the same." She laughed.
"Girl you is crazy. I cannot deal with you." Aiko shrugged.
"You want to hang with us after school? It is Karaoke night at this teen spot in Shibuya."
"Ooh, please come with us Marshall!"
"Call me Rae.."
"Please... Rae? Please please please?"
"Okay Shinju. Okay haha. I'm down."
"Okay then. See you later then.
"Bye y'all." As she headed to her next class, she smiled to herself. Despite what all happened, things really had come back to back in blessings since she set foot in Japan. Maybe this was the right place for her... for right now. God had blessed her with friends, true blue ones, a family and people who loved her. Did she not owe it to them to give them as much as they gave her? She couldn't say she loved them but stay behind the mask. It was time for the mask to come off. Starting with Hiroto. Jesus, please give me the strength and courage to do this. It is frightening to think of being vulnerable. But I feel like I can do this. Help me do this right.
She quietly snuck into her locker and grabbed her phone. Dialing his number, she bit her lips in anticipation.
"Mosh Mosh?"
"Hi Hiroto."
"Ah, Rae."
"Yes. It is me."
"I like that you are speaking in Japanese now."
"I can practice much more. I have more to go."
"Mm."
"How are you?"
"I am well. Better now that you called."
"It trips me up. How can you just go from Japanese to English like that?" She snapped her fingers. He chuckled.
"I had a lot of practice myself."
"Hm."
"What makes you call?"
"You asked me to."
"Ah. You called because I asked you to? Is that all?" She sucked her teeth.
"Don't be a jerk." He laughed.
"I called to tell you I'd be done with class in like forty five minutes."
"Ah, the truth."
"I can definitely walk. I got plans anyway. Maybe I don't want you to pick me up."
"You're... saying you don't need... need me?" He asked in a psuedo crying voice. She lost it then and gripped the phone laughing.
"Hiroto I swear. You gon get me in trouble. I ain't even supposed to be on the phone right now. I'm supposed to be in class."
"Go to class. Don't get in trouble because of your desperate need to talk to me."
"I'm done with you. So hanging up. Goodbye Hiroto." She could practically see him grinning ear to ear.
"Good bye beautiful." She blushed and bit her lip.
"See you soon?"
"See you soon." She pressed the end button and sighed. Placing the phone back into her purse, she rushed to class.
***
"I'm going to get my things."
"Okay. See you out front."
"Cool."
***
"Ah, Aiko, is that Iwase out front?"
"Mm."
"Wah, he picks her up?"
"They are friends. Of course!"
"I see why he is friends with her. He has a good sense of character. Rae is a good girl. Fun and what is it.. real? Yes, good for us too!"
"I agree Shinju! We have been to ourselves so long. It is refreshing to have a true friend here! So many of the girls here are concerned with their appearance, money or popularity. Rae does not care about any of that. I like that best about her. She appreciates her natural beauty!"
"Mm!" The girls walked towards the front of the building and approached just as Iwase got out of his car.
"Hi Iwase!" He bowed and looked at Aiko.
"Hello Mitsugi. How are you?"
"I'm good. Here for Rae?"
"Yes. She said she had plans though. I am not sure."
"Yeah we're all going to karaoke. Want to come?" He sighed.
"No. That is okay. I will find something to do."
"Ah,"
"Should Rae be here by now?" They watched as Iwase looked towards the building.
"Please excuse me."
"Sure." He swiftly began to walk towards the building.
***
She sensed it in her stomach. That today was the day. Of course it would be. But she had kept her cool. Going into her locker, she had gotten her things and checked herself in her small mirror. Quiet. She was listening for even the slightest movement. When she had heard nothing, she began to close her locker when she found her standing there in the doorway. This time she wore some expensive outfit, not even bothering to try to disguise herself. Closing the locker shut, she stood still.
"Emi." Emi glared at her.
"You don't listen do you?"
"You don't know when to catch a clue. I am so tired of your shit Emi. Before I hurt you, get out of my face."
"That does not scare me."
"Neither do you."
"You seemed scared last time. I wonder. What did you tell him? We cannot be together? You knew I was serious. Don't give me that crap about not being scared."
"I be real with you Emi. I was. I almost let your weak ass threat frighten me away from him. But I got my life. Is that honestly the best you can do? Are you that sad that you stoop to impersonating a student to get at me? Honestly?"
"Shut up! Don't you dare stand there and mock me."
"Ain't nobody mocking you. You are making a fool out of your own damn self."
"Did he tell you? He must not have told you. I came to his house that night. And instead of hurting me, he slept with me. He did it because he didn't want to see you get hurt. How pitiful. Hiroto should be ashamed to be Iwase."
"You think that is a victory Emi? You think because you can get a man in bed that you are victorious?" The grin had started to slide.
"How many times do I have to tell you? You never won against me. And you never will. Getting him into bed is not trumping me. I don't want to use his body for my own gain."
"You have to admit you want him."
"I don't have to admit anything to you."
"Stop taking me in circles." She sighed and tightened her grip on her backpack. She walked closer until she was face to face.
"You may have had his body for a while. But... know what I have that you don't? I have his heart.You can make a man sleep with you all day but in the end it was just for temporary thrill. What I do for him is greater than any sexual thing you can ever think of. I stimulate his very being. Can you honestly say you've done that?" Emi faltered back, gasping. Tears began to slide down her face.
"It kills you. To know he'd prefer me fully clothed than you completely naked. At this point Emi, I don't give a damn. I stopped caring. You the only one still tryin to make this thing keep going. I am serving you notice. This shit stops today. As soon as I walk out of that door, it is over. Don't show back up. I spared you that day at the cliff. I really wanted to hurt you." She turned her wide eyes on her.
"You deserved it. But I walked away. The me from a couple years ago would have knocked you straight into a coma. But you keep doing shit like this that make me wanna punch you out." Emi gripped her fists tight.
"Do it."
"Nah. You ain't worth it."
"If you won't fight me to the death then I have no choice but to bring it to you."
"You'd really die for a man who would not miss you or even go to your funeral? You love him that much Emi?"
"I hate him for choosing you. I hate him for not loving me."
"You cannot force somebody to love you."
"Shut your mouth."
"Move out of my way."
"Make me." She flared her nostrils and gripped her backpack. She was tired of talking to this chick. Her fists really was about to do the talking.
"MOVE."
"DIE!" She hit the ground as Emi tackled her hard and instantly balled up her fist to punch her. Her fist collided with her jaw and she screeched as she fell back.
"I told you not to try me. Now you bout to get your ass beat." She jumped on top of her and blacked her eye. Emi hollered and scratched her in the face, ripping her school uniform.
"That's all you.. got?" She buried her fingers in her hair and pulled. Emi screamed and she felt pain radiate in her cheek. She'd punched her.
"Bring it on dirty bitch!" She tugged on her hair and tried to hold her down but Emi flipped her over.
"I should rip your tongue out!" She sneered.
"You all talk. Show me something." She replied with a smirk. She felt blows come at her sides and to be honest, she let her have em. Make her feel like she did something. Before she came in the last moment. When she couldn't take it any more she grabbed her arm and bit down on her skin.
"AH!"
"Let go of me bitch." She still had the nerve to be trying to punch her. She bit harder. She screamed and let go of her. She wiped some blood off of her mouth and stood up. Emi growled, her hair a mess and her makeup smeared. She took off her earrings and gripped her arm.
"You'll pay for that."
"I'm waitin." She balled her fists up despite the pain in her sides. She got her a few good times. Came with the territory.
"I got something for you Rae."
"A surprise? For me?" A book flew her way and she managed to dodge it in time before she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She screamed and looked down to find blood spreading fast through her white uniform shirt. She had stabbed her? That was so dirty.
"You... you stabbed me you... you..." Emi laughed manically and pushed the knife in deeper as she shoved her against the wall.
"What happened to that talk now hm?" Beads of sweat broke out on her forehead and her eyes teared up.
"You're not going to make it out of here alive."
"I will."
"WILL NOT." She felt a few more sharp jabs come into her body and cried out.
"HELP! HELP ME!" She cried out as she tried to grab hold of Emi's wrist.
"There is no one to hear you."
"So you think." She gathered her fading strength and kicked her in the shin. She gasped and stumbled and she lifted her elbow and brought it down into her neck. She fell, dropping the knife. She ignored the tears flowing and tried to go after the knife. Emi yanked her back by her leg and crawled up her body.
"Damn... Damn..." She was growing so weak... So much blood. But not yet. She was not going to go like this. She felt Emi's hands come around her neck and gasped as she began to strangle her. She dug her fingers into her wrists and kicked her feet.
"Finally. I win. I win. You'll disappear from his life and I can finally take my place again." She clawed her wrists, tears falling from her eyes. She felt weightless and fell unconscious.
***
He knew something was not right. He heard a scream and ignored Rae's friends calling out to him. No, he heard her. He ran, eyes darting every entryway.
"HELP ME!" He stopped in mid run. Locker room. It sounded from that direction.
"Where did Rae go?" He asked Aiko and the others as they ran up to him.
"She said she had to go get her stuff." He took off and tried to open the door. It was locked.
"What the hell? Why is the door locked?" One of the girls asked.
"Do you hear that?" They grew quiet to the sounds of a scuffle.
"Stand back." He ordered them. He darted back before running towards the door, kicking it down. He froze. Emi was on top of Rae, hands tight around her neck. Underneath Rae lied a growing pool of blood. Rae had stopped fighting and Emi let her head fall back against the floor. She looked at her, a twisted grin of satisfaction on her face.
"Oh my God, what have you done?!" Aiko screeched behind him.
"Mitsugi. Take the others and call the police. Go wait outside for them and the emergency vehicle." She didn't ask questions and the other girls ran down the hallway, some crying. Emi stood up, her hands bloody and shaking.
"I killed her." He flexed his fists and looked into her eyes.
"No. You just wounded her."
"She was in the way. You didn't understand it. I tried too many times to tell you. She said she had your heart. But now she won't have anything."
"If you cannot have me then no one else can."
"Exactly. I told you that you were mine." She glanced down at Rae and laughed. The anger inside him could not be described and he didn't feel satisfied until he had punched her hard in the face, sending her to the ground. She cried out, holding her face.
"Hiroto!" He grabbed her up by her hair.
"You could not leave it alone. You had to go and do this. Don't you know what you've done?" He asked, his voice cold.
"Now, you've given me no choice. I have to put an end to this."
"How... by killing me? Don't be stupid Hiroto."
"Death would be too kind. Something even worse than death. You've asked me so nicely for it. How can I say no?" She looked into his eyes, her bravado replaced with fear.
"What are you going to d-do..."
"Wait and see." He shoved her back against a locker and ripped off his shirt. He knelt beside Rae's body and tightly wrapped his shirt as best as he could around her bleeding wounds. She didn't move. But her neck was still pulsing. He felt it weakly underneath his fingers. She was alive. He tightened his jaw and didn't bother stopping the tears that welled up in his eyes. He put pressure on her stomach as his eyes lifted to her face. Her cheek was swollen. Her hair was damp with sweat.
"Can you hear me?" He asked softly.
"We're going to take you to a hospital. It'll all be okay hm? Just relax and don't move." He spoke to her like she was responsive. But he had to press on anyway. He knew she would make it.
"You're pitiful. You will follow that girl into her grave."
"I'm going to die a happy old man having lived his life and done well for himself. You will never know that joy."
"THIS WAY! THEY ARE IN THE LOCKER ROOM!"
"Help has come. It's all over now..." He reached up to smooth some hair back from her face.
"It's over." The police came flooding into the room and the medic pushed past them.
"Move! She's in critical condition! We have to get her to the hospital now!" He let her go as they lifted her from his grasp. His eyes followed her out until she turned the corner.
"What happened?" He looked up into the eyes of the officer, his gaze dull.
"She tried to kill her. Can't you assess that for yourself?"
"Listen-"
"I have to go."
"No. Young man, you have to stay here until we get this figured out."
"I do not have to do anything. I have to get to her..."
"Your girlfriend will be fine. We need to know-"
"That thing tried to kill her. She made up in her mind that if she could not have me that she'd kill anyone who stood a chance."
"How did this happen?"
"She was completely obsessed with our relationship. She had attempted to kill her earlier this summer. Visiting her a week or two ago. She came to finish the score." Emi's crying did nothing for him. She wept as if they would take pity on her.
"There is no pity for you. You stand up." They yanked her up and he watched as they handcuffed her. She eyed him as they began to lead her out. All he could do was watch careful not to show any emotion. But inside he was satisfied. Finally, everything would come to an end.
***
10 days later....
It was raining. But they told her she could go. It hurt to move but in the eyes of the doctors she had healed enough to go home. Blood no longer flowed from the wounds and they said that she would not scar too badly. She supposed she should be grateful that even in her haste, Emi had made clean cuts. She had narrowly missed a major artery. She stood looking outside of the window, her fingers gripping the window sill.
"Miss?" Her life was owed entirely to God. He had sent Hiroto at the right time... He had saved her.
"Miss?" The voice of the nurse jolted her back. She turned her head.
"Yes?"
"Your boyfriend is here to accompany you home." Everyone naturally assumed they were together. Naturally. They must have been meant to be because so many things had come against them.
"O-Okay. Thanks."
"Need I help you out? Shall I get your things?"
"No, I have them. Thank you." She clutched her things and walked slowly made her way to the front. She hadn't seen him in about 10 days. But there he stood at the front desk as if they had been together the whole time. He wasn't alone. Aiko, Shinju, Rie and Momo also sat in the chairs with worried looks on their faces. At seeing her, they stood.
"Rae!"
"Oh God Rae..." She smiled, ignoring her lips cracking.
"Hey."
"Are you... are you okay?" Aiko asked, tears in her eyes.
"I'm fine Aiko.."
"No... No I..." She shook her head and came to pull her tenderly in a hug.
"I thought... I was... I was so scared Rae. I... I thought you were gonna..."
"Hey... I didn't. I'm still here... right?" Aiko nodded against her, her tears wet her thin shirt.
"Yes. You are alive. Thank God." Yes, again and again Her Savior had come through and pulled her away from the hand of Death. Twice now.
"Aiko you'll hurt her!"
"She's fine. I'd better get to the car though."
"Oh... right!" Aiko let go of her and sniffed as she walked up to Hiroto. He looked the same... but different somehow. Aged.
"You don't look so good partner." She joked, looking up at him. He swallowed and assessed her from head to toe.
"I'm okay Hiroto." He brought his eyes back up to hers yet did not open his mouth. Instead, he lifted a hand. Gently, he caressed her cheek. His touch was his words. Thank God. You're alive. You're living and breathing in front of me. She smiled and leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. I can see you again. The moment ended too soon as he dropped his hand and grabbed her things from her arms. He bowed to the nurses and doctors and turned to walk out. Aiko and the rest of the girls helped her as she walked out and into the car. Finally. Home. She was going home.
***
"Can I talk to you?" He was standing outside.
"Yes." Even his voice sounded harder. She stepped outside, letting the rain wash her face, drench her hair. Sensation she never thought she would feel again.
"How have you been?" He was silent but when she opened her eyes, his brown eyes were on her.
"Well? You just not gon talk to me? What did I do?" He tightened his fists.
"You did nothing." She watched him, his body tight and angry. It could be the cold air. But it could be the anger inside him that made him tremble.
"Hiroto."
"Yes?"
"I want to apologize to you." Their eyes met again.
"For?"
"For being unfair. I spent all this time taking you for granted. I began to use you." He blinked.
"How so?"
"Without me knowing, I began to use you for your body heat. Your touch and kind words. Your hugs and your company." He was quiet as she continued.
"I took you for granted. I took so much of you and left you little. You have given me everything."
"It's high time I give you what you are owed. You want to have me? I'll give you me." His lips parted and he stared at her, his expression unreadable.
"All of you?" He asked. She nodded.
"Yes." He closed his eyes.
"Tell me something."
"Anything."
"Who hurt you? Who wounded you so badly that the scars inside you never got a chance to heal?" She tightened her jaw and gently wrapped her arms around her waist, mindful of her injuries.
"If you want that part of me I will let you have it too."
"Tell me."
"There was many someones. Many 'who's. Too many I had lost count. I was never innocent or perfect Hiroto. But I felt like if I acted like it then maybe it would all be all right. But someday the mask cracks and the facade falters."
"I'm listening."
"I was so angry. I took it out on everyone I came in contact with and many times it backfired."
"What brought this anger?"
"The pain of my mother leaving me. My real mother. She left me inside of a train station. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was cold and windy. Snow piled up everywhere. She told me to sit and wait for her to come back, said she was going to get some food for us. I watched her get onto a train and that was the last time I ever saw her." She felt his eyes on her but kept going.
"I have to let it go. I am tired. Of being bound by it. If I'm ever going to live my life and be happy.. I have to face it right? I have to let it all out." She took a breath and continued.
"I wandered the streets, cold, hungry and dirty. I had never known what misery was like until that moment. Can you imagine an 8-year old girl aimlessly trying to find her way? In streets like mine, that was dangerous. There are always eyes watching. And waiting for the right time."
"Your father?"
"Was never there. It had been my mother and I for so long."
"Mm."
"One day I was so hungry I broke into a deli down the street from a train station. It had been days. And I couldn't take it. So I took a rock and smashed the window. Can you look at me and every think I went through this?" She asked looking at him. He stood still, listening.
"What happened?"
"I got the food and ran. Thinking back on it, I should have grabbed something to drink. I was so thirsty afterwards. I ran. Until I bumped into him." Hiroto's eyes perked up.
"Him?" In the cold rain, she shivered.
"Peter Lugiano."
"He had a baby face but he was as ruthless as they came. He mowed through people like shreds of grass and if you got in his way he would just cut you down. He was an arrogant pretty boy who thought just cause his family held ties to one of the most notorious Italian crime families that that made him king of New York. I had bumped into him on accident. And when he set eyes on me, his eyes burned."
"Did they?"
"They scorched me and I'm still trying to get over the scars."
"Hm."
"He took me and... my life changed in a matter of minutes." He stiffened.
"I've been trying to convince myself... it didn't happen. But..." She looked up at him.
"You aren't a virgin. And neither am I. What does that make us?"
"Innocent children that were taken advantage of." He answered simply, his tone hard. She sighed.
"He took that away from me. The one thing I owned. The part of me that I had always dreamed holding onto for my husband. Gone."
"Rae..."
"I know I made you believe I was this innocent pure untouched person. But... the truth is I was touched. My purity was taken too. I was thrust into an adult world way too quickly."
"How alike we are." She laughed but it was bitter.
"Indeed."
"What... what did they do to you?"
"Some of it I cannot tell you. It would make you wish I'd never told you. Horrible things. He took me off the streets but for what price? First it was him. Then it was his friends. One. Two. All of them. It never stopped." The rain had let up and now only drizzled.
"When the people I call my parents found me I was... I was..."
"I was pregnant." His eyes widened slightly.
"I don't look it. I don't look like anything I've lived through. And I thank God because I would have died. They would have killed me."
"What happened with the child?" Tears welled up in her eyes and she sniffed.
"I begged my parents to let me keep it. But... they said that they would not take two babies in. I told them the child was innocent in this. It didn't ask to be born from rape. But my father was especially adamant about it. He said that I could and would have a fresh start. But to do that I had to let my child go. I didn't want to Hiroto." He grew closer and she felt his hand hold hers.
"So much has happened it would take a lifetime to fully tell you everything..."
"You don't have to tell me anymore."
"I have to."
"You wish to set yourself free?"
"I have to."
"I'm here." She gripped his hand tighter.
"Just as I was about to rid of my baby, I miscarried. It didn't even have a chance. I am thankful that God spared my baby. Who knows what life it would have led but in my eyes... God showed mercy on the precious little soul. I gave it back to God and moved on with my life the best way I could. It has taken me years to be somewhat okay with it. As for my parents, they adopted me and for a while I hated them too. But... somewhere down the line that hatred turned into love and as much forgiveness as I could give at that time. They welcomed me into the family and I had the siblings I always wanted. A bunch of brothers who protected me. They all cherished and loved me. They didn't care that I had been picked up off of the street. They loved me anyway. A bunch of sisters who took me under their wing. Taught me about Christ and sisterly love."
"Here I am now. So long after all of this happened. I've been hiding for so long." The rain had picked up again and it pelted them. He let go of her hand and took off his jacket. He placed it over her, covering her from her head down.
"You don't have to hide anymore Rae." Tears fell down her cheeks and she let the years of pent up emotion to spill forth. He pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest as she cried. Thankful for the loud rain, she cried as loud as she wanted to without fear. He said not a word. She wrapped her arms around his waist until she had grown tired.
"I can't cry anymore."
"That's okay."
"You're not going to judge me? You're not going to turn away from me?"
"Why would I do that?"
"I can't give you what you really want Hiroto."
"What do you think I really want?" She grew quiet.
"I care nothing for your past Rae. It does not matter to me what you once were or who you once were."
"But-"
"Let your past die. Bury it. Make new memories. Create a bright future."
"How can you say that when you haven't either?"
"That is what we will do. Together. We'll make our future and new memories." She nodded against his soaked shirt.
"I was afraid that you would leave me and I would be alone... again." He pulled back and let her go. He gently grabbed the collar which was hanging around her face.
"You never have to be alone again." She smiled.
"Why don't we go back inside? I feel like ice."
"Sure." But he hadn't let go of her. He grew closer.
"Rae.."
"Yeah?"
"Let me have another part of you."
"What is it?" He slid his hands inside the jacket and cupped her cheeks. Before she could blink, she felt his lips press against hers. She froze, her mouth slightly open in shock. Her eyes fell onto his face. His eyes were calm and closed, rain droplets slid down his skin which had grown pale thanks to the cold. His wet hair stuck to his head and his cheeks were crimson. She slowly closed her eyes and melted into him, his mouth warming her from the inside out. He sighed and separated himself. Biting on her bottom lip, she kept her gaze at his wrists.
"I've been wanting to kiss you for a long time."
"I'm... I'm sorry I made you wait so long."
"It could not have happened at any other time than this one." She smiled and he smiled in return.
"You're so cold sweetheart." She could see her breath form in the air. She held his wrists in place, his hands held her cheeks just right. He rubbed her cheeks and down to her shoulders.
"I want to fold myself around you until the cold leaves." His eyes met hers and she decided to go for what she wanted. She stood up on her tip toes and pressed her lips back on his and he grabbed her, pulling her up, closer. Her fingers slid into his hair and she tilted her head, deepening the kiss. All of her senses heightened and her breath became one with his. For the first time, she wasn't thinking of anything sexual. This kiss was different. It was patient, generous and openly loving. In his kiss she felt freedom and that was bigger and better than anything else in the world.
Her hands slid down to grip his shirt and the desperation he expressed was received with well worth it kisses. She had made him wait. And he had not once tried to take advantage of her. She loved the way his lips molded to hers, so soft. He put her down carefully after a while of kisses that had taken their breath. She wasn't ready to stop yet. What if she never got this moment again? She kissed his lips one last time before turning her head. Closing her eyes, she gently gripped his forearms as he pressed his nose against her neck.
"Thank you..." He whispered.
"You deserved it..."
"Rae! Hiroto-kun?" He pulled away from her and cleared his throat.
"That's our cue hm?" He grinned with a silly expression on his face.
"I was waitin."
"Let's get you back." Before she let him pull her into the house, she tugged on him and kissed him the way she dreamt of, slow and sensual. He sighed into her mouth and bit his lip before smiling.
"That's a whole other territory Rae." She blushed.
"I'm sorry. Let's stop." He chuckled and pulled her into the house. Summer had officially come to an end. And within it would be buried a lot of things. She was excited for the future. The future she and Hiroto would create together.
A/N: This was one of my favorite chapters to pen. I love the vulnerability between them, the tender fledgling love lying between their hearts and fingers. UGH. We finally learn just who Rae is and we learn that she's experienced much trauma, just like Hiroto. Their narratives are so similar. And their pasts have brought them together in the present. Regardless of money, status or color of skin. Black sheep with black sheep. It was always about the heart, right? And these two have hearts of gold. They deserve the love they want to give one another. :)
Let me get off my soapbox ehe. Maybe one or two more chapters and I'll let everyone get caught up and stuff hehe.
-AL