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2018.
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IMAGINE being seventeen and packing to leave the country. That was the type of thing that her classmates dreamed about, and the type of thing that Maia planned—and was going—to do.
Her parents decided that if she really, really wanted to go to university in the States, why would they stop her? People go abroad for school all the time, so why would this be any different? They had the money, and she had the ambition. Plus, most importantly, Maia's parents trusted her enough to let her do such a thing.
And she also applied and got accepted before ever even bringing up the idea in the first place, so there was that too.
Such a big moment, and it had been settled with a quick talk over dinner.
Her flight to LAX would be in four days.
The day after her flight was booked, though, she wasn't worrying about what to pack or what courses to take. Instead, she was wearing a peachy-orange dress made of silk, and leaning on the railing of a balcony that oversaw the courtyard of her school.
It was a graduation party of sorts, a formal, and her date was getting her a glass of water.
His name was Sebastian, but everyone called him 'Seb,' except for her. She didn't call him that. To her, he was just Sebastian from Calculus class who wanted to own a restaurant.
They started talking in May of last year through a friend of a friend, and they hit it off pretty well. Similar hobbies, same favorite stuff. He was nice to talk to as well, never a dull conversation in sight.
It was refreshing. She hadn't really opened herself up to people like that since...
Well, bottom line was that they got along well, but she didn't think of him as anything other than a friend, and she was pretty sure that he knew that she saw him that way as well.
It made her sad in some way. Maybe she felt like she owed him something since she had been somewhat poor at making—and keeping—friends during the time that they had met, but she knew they wouldn't have lasted long if they did anything else anyways.
Maia heard some shuffling behind her and she turned around at the noise, seeing the view of the bustling formal dinner and people scattered around in groups, and emerging from the scene was Sebastian, holding two glasses of water.
"Here you are," he said politely, gracing her with the glass and a small tilt of the head. "It's so boring in there. I wish our celebrations were like the ones in America." He found a spot next to her on the railing, a good distance between the two as they take in the sight of their not-so-little private school that they'll never see again. "Hopefully, you'll enjoy a couple of those when you're there."
"I doubt they actually have all those parties that we see on television," she laughed, taking a sip of the ice cold water, waking her senses in the midst of her tiredness from mingling more than she'd typically like to. "I'll be focused on other things anyway."
"Like your studies?" Sebastian asked.
"Yeah, obviously, but also," she weighed the idea in her head, the same way she had been since she got her first modeling gig a year ago. "I'm thinking about doing modeling professionally. Maybe even acting too. It'll be nice, a little hobby."
Sebastian raised his eyebrows and nodded with a smile. "Wow, that's ambitious."
"I've been told I'm like that. Keep up, Sebastian," she joked, and he merely chuckled in response.
"Sorry, mind wanders." He placed down his own glass of water and looked towards her again. "I like your dress by the way. Very unique color."
"Oh, thank you! It reminds me of peaches," she said, a small smile on her glossy lips.
He only hummed as he gave her a once over. "I was thinking more like the inside of a papaya, but if you say peaches, I'll think the same."
Sebastian was sweet, easy to talk to, and someone that everyone liked to have around, Maia included.
She hated herself for the way that every time they spoke, she wondered how the conversation would have went if he was here instead, but she shouldn't be thinking about someone thousands of miles away, doing God knows what with people she didn't know anything about.
...Does he think of her?
Sometimes she wondered if he did, but she doubted it greatly.
"Maia," Sebastian asked softly, and she looked toward him with attentiveness. "Can I ask you something?"
She nodded, and he continued on with his question.
"Why don't you go somewhere else?"
She quirked her head to the side with raised eyebrows. "What do you mean?"
"You know..." he shrugged, looking her in the eyes. "Europe."
Maia opened her mouth to protest the idea, but he put a hand out in front of her.
"Just, just listen, okay?" Sebastian pleaded. "I know that Oscar guy was important to you, and now you, like, resent him, or whatever. But, you liked him a lot, you know?" He straightened his posture, and Maia wanted him to just shut up now, be quiet for the rest of the night and never see each other again. "Why not go find him somewhere? I mean, the guy's trying to be a Formula 1 driver, he's gotta have a website or something for you to search for—"
"No," she shook her head. "Not worth it."
"But he is," he fought, almost like he was trying to convince her to actually go; to refund her plane ticket and turn around and run to Europe instead. "You know he is. The way you used to talk about him when we were like, what, fifteen? He was important to you, still is. I'm not stupid. I mean, what happens if you have to go to England someday for an acting gig, or something, and you bump into him in...I don't know, a coffee shop?"
"He wouldn't be in one because Oscar doesn't like coff..."
Damn it.
Sebastian shook his hands in the air. "See! Anyone else probably would have forgotten about that, but you haven't."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"It definitely does," he sighed. "Come on, the heart wants what it wants, you know?"
If that was the case, Maia should be signing up for a heart transplant then.
"Just, stop it now, Sebastian. This is..." she waved her hand in the air dismissively and looked back towards the courtyard, the stars in the sky suddenly feeling like they were raining down on her body, cutting and bruising her in every way. "He hasn't reached out to me for years, can never spare time to answer a text, and is too busy doing whatever with whoever and—"
"Maia?"
"What?" She asked exasperatedly, looking to Sebastian in a way that made her feel helpless.
Helpless?
Why was Sebastian so blurry?
"Do you want me to take you home?" He said quietly. "You're crying."
Maia shut her eyes and felt the tears roll down her cheeks, and wiped them away swiftly. "No, I'm okay."
"Mai..."
Oh, she hated that nickname now. It was the worst thing in the whole world to hear someone say to her.
"I'm okay, Sebastian," she promised, a lie seething with venom as the words spilled from her lips. "You asked me something and I overreacted about it and now I'm," she shook her head. "I'm crying so, it's on me. You deserve to have a good time here at least."
Somewhere in her mind, there lingered a promise to herself that she wouldn't think about Oscar even once when she gets to California; that she would focus on her studies and her new friends, friends that she would welcome with open arms, and never give a thought to the boy that used to live in front of her home.
She'd try to stick to it as much as she could, even if it meant killing a part of her childhood that she used to hold dear to her heart.
Maia and Sebastian remained on the balcony until she calmed down, until the tears running down her face left stains on her cheeks and the silence was burning smoke into the air.
"Do you want to dance before we go then?" He questioned, just loud enough for her to hear. "I think that's something most girls like to do at these sort of things, right?"
She laughed as her voice cracked, "Yeah. But, I'm not good at it."
"That's alright. It's a one night kind of thing, anyway."
Maia laughed again, making him smile as he stretched out a hand for her to take.
And she did, and she didn't say it out loud, but she hated how cold his hand was. It was colder than hers, which was saying a lot.
And they danced, laughed, and talked about whatever they could to take Maia's mind off of Sebastian's question about her little childhood friend.
But, it didn't work.
She still thought about Oscar, even when she was in her pajamas and all of the lights in her room were off, and even when she was on the verge of passing out from dancing and talking and getting ready and unready.
She thought about him, and how he had promised that, whenever their first formal would come around, he would be her date, and how he would wear a tie that would match the color of her dress and all.
Broken promises were everywhere, scattered around her past and present every time she thought about him.
California could be her getaway, her escape from their memories they made together.
It would be good for her, she decided, to never think about the karting-prodigy that she used to call her best friend ever again.
NOTES!
there :) were :) other :) boys :) but :) none :) of :) them :) were :) oscar :)
xoxo, cas