"If I told you about the darkness inside of me, would you still look at me like I am your sun?"
Arabella Karve
I feel a warm beam of sunlight shining in through my bedroom window, illuminating the side of my face as I slowly begin to awaken from my peaceful night of sleep.
Not one nightmare for the first time in years.
My eyes slowly open, and I slightly squint because of the bright light illuminating my bedroom.
The first thing I notice as I focus my senses, is the flawless bouquet of white roses sitting upon my dresser.
My favorites.
The second thing I notice, making my heart completely stop beating, is the muscular arm draped tightly around my waist from behind me. I feel my chest tighten in fear, until my eyes reach the familiar snake tattoo winding up the veiny arm that is all too familiar.
I gently trace my fingers along the tattoo, addicted to the feeling of his skin.
I slowly turn around in Eros's arms in order to face him, while trying to figure out why he is wrapped around me after being pissed at me less than ten hours ago. I carefully flip around in his arms and lightly throw my leg over his solid torso.
I rest my head against the pillow and stare at his sleeping face as he subconsciously tightens his arms around my waist, holding me against his warm body.
Eros's perfect, plump lips are slightly parted open as he takes steady breaths and his long dark lashes cast soft shadows onto his cheekbones. I lift up one of my hands and slowly drag my soft thumb across his cheek.
Eros let's out a soft sigh before his tired eyes slowly open, setting off a small flutter within my stomach. He silently gazes at me with a tender look within his eyes as I slowly remove my hand from his face.
Eros silently places his rough hand on my waist and gently caresses my bare skin with his thumb.
"Eros, what are you doing here?" I question quietly, still slightly shocked that he is here. His features instantly soften at the sound of my voice.
"You told me you have nightmares every night." His rough, tired voice reaches my ears, "I am never letting you go through those alone again." He says deeply while lifting up one of his hands and gently tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear, "and because I am sorry Vita Mia."
My heart rapidly flutters in my chest as I struggle to keep my breathing steady. I nod while letting his words soak in.
He's never going to let me go through them alone again.
"Why did you get mad at me? I didn't even do anything." I furrow my eyebrows, making Eros immediately clench his sharp jaw.
He releases a slow breath, "I know Bella, it wasn't you I was mad at, I was never mad at you. I was just dealing with my own shit." He says lowly while continuing to caress his thumb across my waist, right below my stitches.
"I forgive you." I whisper honestly as my mind continues toiling with his words.
"I didn't mean to treat you like that."
"It's okay Eros, I know." I run my fingers across his bare chest covered in the dark ink.
"Don't hate me." He says with an almost pleading look shining in his cold eyes.
I smile softly at him, "I don't hate you."
"Thank God." He mumbles with pure relief laced in his words. He immediately tucks his face into the crook of my neck and sighs in content.
I begin running my fingers through his soft hair as yesterday replays in my head.
"What set you off yesterday?" I ask him hesitantly in a tender tone, "I just don't want it to happen again."
"Nothing." He instantly mumbles.
I bite my lip and nod understandingly.
If he doesn't want to talk about it, I am not going to force him.
After a few minutes of silence Eros reluctantly speaks again, "It was when you mentioned that thing about your Dad." His chest rumbles deeply, sending vibrations throughout my body as his low words leave his mouth.
"My dad?" I ask a little unsurely, hoping this isn't going where I think it is.
Please tell me it isn't.
Eros sighs against me, "My childhood wasn't very good Vita Mia." He slowly admits while holding on tighter to me. My heart about shatters in my chest knowing exactly what he means.
The scars.
I stay completely silent, not wanting to interrupt him, so that he can tell me anything he is comfortable with.
"My dad was an alcoholic and my mother was just...barely existing." He bitterly chuckles, the sound cold and completely humorless.
"I'm sorry Eros." I tell him softly, not wanting him to try and degrade any of his trauma. I kiss the top of his head and listen as he inhales sharply.
"Don't be sorry." He says plainly before we fade into silence.
"Did your father give you the scars on your back Eros?" I whisper quietly, having to know.
"His belt." Is all he says and my heart aches thinking about what he went through.
"You deserved so much better." I promise him, desperately wishing I could give him everything he deserves in this world.
Tears cloud my vision as I struggle to not let them fall. Nobody deserves that.
"You better not be crying for me Bella." He mumbles.
"I'm not." I lie while lifting one of my hands and quickly wiping my eyes.
"Don't lie to me." He says while pushing his fingers into my side making me immediately break out laughing and squirm under his grip.
He lets go of my sides, wrapping his arms around my waist again and laying a soft kiss to my neck. I can't help but gasp softly in shock at the sudden action.
"Do you remember when I told you I regretted being an assassin?" He speaks again after a few minute of silence.
I slowly nod at his random question while twirling a dark piece of his hair in between my fingers.
"I fucking don't. I'd do it all over again to end up right here." He says darkly, making my breath hitch in surprise.
I stay silent for a few seconds just processing what he just said. He would kill, God only knows how many people, to end up right here.
"Me too." I admit almost silently under my breath.
And the truth is I would.
**********************
"Eros go sit over there." I say while pointing to a table across the cafe, "You are suppressing everyone's freedom of speech by standing right here." I dramatically groan at him, causing Hazel to immediately break out laughing and Briar to shake her her head with a small grin.
Eros gives me an unamused glare, wearing his cold exterior that he plastered on the moment it wasn't just the two of us. I don't think anyone would believe that this is the man I woke up next to.
"What are you talking about that I can't hear?" He asks coldly while raising an eyebrow and glancing over to Hazel and Briar who are sitting down at the table beside where me and Eros are arguing.
Not actually arguing, but he is throwing a tantrum.
"Girl stuff Eros. Hence why you can't be hovering over me." I narrow my eyes at him.
"It's true! Unless you want to be hearing about her sex life!" Hazel squeals with a laugh from the table, causing basically the entire restaurant to look over at us.
Fuck my life.
Eros smirks down at me, causing my entire body to heat, "Sex life hm?"
"Eros." I warn quietly with a slightly flustered tone from the way people are still staring.
He leans down a little closer to me so that only I can hear him, "Please do tell me about this sex life of yours Bella."
"It's none of your business." I counter while gazing up at him.
"Then I'll make it mine." He smirks down at me.
"Go sit down." I say while glaring up at him, trying to keep my voice even.
"Yes ma'am." Eros says in a deep voice, his warm breath fanning my face. He shoots me a sly wink before standing back up to his full hight, turning around and walking towards the table I told him to go sit at across the cafe. Fuck that was hot.
I take a shaky breath and shake my head before slowly turning around to sit down at the table with Hazel and Briar.
I flash them an awkward smile and sit down across from them as they both just stare at me with wide eyes.
"That was the hottest thing I've ever fucking seen." Hazel says with her mouth parted open.
"No, he is being a pain in my ass." I roll my eyes, trying to suppress the smile growing on my face.
"Can he be a pain in my ass?" Hazel grins, making me laugh and cover my face in shock.
"Hazel stop. Just stop." Briar says while running her hands over her face.
Hazel shrugs, "Me and Sophie broke up. I would go for him if he wasn't undressing you with his eyes right now." She winks at me.
My mouth falls open and I immediately glance across the cafe towards Eros, only to see him staring directly at me with no shame. His fucking chair is faced in my direction.
"Oh Hazel I am so sorry." Briar says sympathetically, hearing that she broke up with her girlfriend.
"I'm good girlie pop! Now I can picture Eros in my bed-."
"Hazel!" I yell hearing her words. She just continues grinning proudly as she pushes her curly red hair over her shoulder.
"I do have to ask, what is going on between you and him?" Briar slightly leans forward, interest shining in her eyes. The sun shining in through the window illuminates her dark skin as a small smile dances across her lips.
"I um- we just are getting along?" I wince, a little unsure on how to phrase what's happening between me and Eros. Especially since he basically told me this morning that he would commit mass homicide in order to lay in my arms.
"That's all you can come up with?" Briar laughs and shakes her head.
"I don't know." I run one of my hands through my dark wavy hair that I left in its natural state, "but nothing is happening between us."
I am not completely sure that is true.
"Well if nothing is happening between you two, then why don't you go talk to the boy at the counter, he's cute." Briar suggests with a knowing tone.
I glance over towards Eros in response and nervously bite my lip upon seeing the way his eyes are locked on me.
"Did you guys fuck!" Hazel squeals and I immediately turn towards her with wide eyes, "No Hazel!"
"You did, didn't you!?"
"No... I've um- never." I say with a sheepish smile, making Hazel stare at me in shock.
Briar raises her eyebrows and shrugs, "That's okay."
"Whatever Virgin Mary." Hazel chuckles before taking another drink of her coffee.
"Not for long." Briar teases under her breath.
"You guys are fucking nasty."
"Oh! Guess what!" Hazel abruptly changes the conversation, "I got that job I wanted at that record shop!"
I am going to get whiplash from her.
"That's exciting that place is so cute." I smile, recalling the one time I randomly went in there and spent way too long walking around mindlessly. And spending way too much money.
"I know right! And I get a discount on the records." She grins smugly.
"You should give me a discount on all the Lana del Rey records." I hint at her while raising my eyebrows.
"You don't need a fucking discount you're loaded!"
I narrow my eyes at her, "well I stay loaded by convincing people to give me discounts." I say with sarcasm ringing in my tone.
The only reason I am loaded is because my parents do illegal drug trafficking and other shit.
"Good point." Briar shrugs.
"You should honestly donate." Hazel laughs and I roll my eyes,
"You act like you're broke."
"I am, be my sugar momma." Hazel flashes me a pleading pout.
"You probably already have like fifty of those Hazel."
She gasps, "I take offense."
"Is she wrong?" Briar laughs.
"Not necessarily."
***********************
Hazel had apparently agreed with Briar when she said that the boy behind the counter was cute, because right now she is preparing to go talk to him.
"Okay I am ready." She takes a deep breath before standing up and throwing her hair in a bun.
"Hazel didn't you only break up with your girlfriend two weeks ago?" Briar questions while tilting her head.
Hazel winks at her, "rebound man."
I would hope if I was ever in a relationship I wouldn't want to... rebound that fast.
She smiles at us before turning around and walking towards the counter with a determined look on her face.
"She needs serious therapy." Briar says while turning towards me and rubbing her temples.
I immediately break out laughing and nod my head in response, "Hazel is a different breed that's for sure."
"An acquired taste." She chuckles.
"How's Atlas?" I ask, resting my elbows against the table. A small smile spreads across Briar's face as she nods, "he's good."
"Good?" I raise an eyebrow at her.
She opens her mouth to respond, when she is unexpectedly cut off by a sudden presence roughly sitting down in the chair next to me.
Eros's addicting smell immediately wraps around me as he lounges back in the chair and looks directly at me with unamused eyes.
"It's too fucking crowded over there." He coldly says while crossing his arms over his broad chest.
Making me want to fucking drool at the sight.
I shake my head as a small smile spreads across my face. Eros's eyes slightly soften as he study's my face, making my heart skip a beat.
I don't miss the way his eyes, that have a look of lust dancing within them, lightly flicker down to my smiling lips. Fuck.
I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, before slowly pulling my eyes away from him and looking back towards Briar who is now smiling knowingly at me.
I awkwardly smile back, "you were saying?"
"Oh yeah, we went out to dinner last night." She shrugs as if it is no big deal.
"Like romantic candlelight dinner or good friends picked up a bite to eat dinner?" I ask with a grin, watching Briar bite her bottom lip to suppress the flustered smile.
"Not necessarily romantic- but kind of?" She winces.
I try to focus on her words, but I inhale sharply when I suddenly feel Eros's warm hand plant itself on my upper thigh, concealed underneath the table. His cold rings send a soft shiver across my skin as his rough thumb lightly caresses the bare skin, making my heart beat much faster than normal.
"Did you have fun?" I ask, trying to keep my voice even, and not in six pitches higher than usual.
I quickly glance over towards Eros, only to see him staring blankly ahead of us towards the rest of the cafe. His face is as cold and blank as it always is, not giving away anything.
I place my hand on his, in order to push it off my thigh, but the second I touch his hand, I can't help but just leave mine on his. I softly run my fingers over his hand, memorizing the feeling of his scarred skin.
"It was really nice. We talked and laughed and..." her words begin wandering off, "I don't know it was just perfect."
"That's so sweet." I smile excitedly, "are you guys like... dating?"
"No." She immediately snaps loudly, making my eyes widen in surprise. Eros's hand slightly squeezes my thigh in response, as I see him look towards me out of the corner of my eye.
Her face softens, "I'm sorry. I just mean, not yet. I don't want to call it anything before we are ready. We are still in a weird place."
"No I understand." I reply honestly, making relief wash over Briar's face.
I glance over her shoulder towards the counter, and immediately smile seeing Hazel leaning over it with a flirty grin. The 'cute' boy behind it, now looks a little scared as he makes a coffee and nervously side eyes Hazel every couple seconds.
Poor boy.
"I think she's holding up the line." Briar remarks while turning in her chair and staring at the busy cafe that now has a line longer than my will to live.
"I swear to God if she gets us banned from here, I'm gonna kick her ass." I smile while leaning back. I glance towards Eros to see one of his flawless dimples making an appearance as he slyly smirks.
He's perfect.
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