The first thing I noticed was that my body was suddenly the same temperature as the water around me. It was like I couldn't feel it- I couldn't feel anything. It seemed to erase the barriers between where I ended and the pool began. I was the pool, in those moments.
I could see a bright light behind my closed eyes, and felt a soft pressure just above my head. I imagine it's similar to what your computer feels when you plug a USB stick into it.
I saw pictures flickering in front of my eyes. Brief glimpses of a shadowy figure, the feeling of wings attached to my back, a second voice coming from my own mouth, Sam laughing at something I said behind the gym, waking up in that room again, again, again, a-
And then, as if from another room, I heard someone yell.
"Get her out of the water!" Deacon cried. I heard the distinctive sound of metal against a sword sheath. Steps walking towards me.
"Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go," Torrent said, her voice shaking. I felt hands wrap around my body. Suddenly, I was being lifted out of the water. I had my feeling back, and it felt very wet.
I stood up, feeling dazed. My body felt like jelly, my coordination having left when my lines disappeared. I blinked, still finding it hard to see. My vision was half-here, half-memory. In one half of my vision, Bethany was pushing me on a swing. I couldn't have been any older than ten.
Then, I heard a deep growl, and turned towards it. The memory was now superimposed over Deacon, who standing face-to-face with a shadow-figure. It was all distorted limbs and glowing red eyes, with no discernable features aside from a vaguely human outline. Antlers raised towards Deacon, and I screamed at the same time as my past-self squealed with joy.
"COME ON!" Torrent yelled, pulling me towards the steps. My body finally broke out of its fervor, and I waded through the water with panic welling up in my chest. My limbs felt like flame as the fear wracked my body, and my first instinct was to go, to help Deacon.
I stumbled onto dry ground, and immediately reached towards him. I looked up and saw the creature with its antlers stuck in Deacon's wooden shield, as Deacon struggled to keep it at bay. Other shadows were appearing in the corners, materializing as inky black smoke as they leaked off of the walls.
My younger voice came through the haze as I jumped off of the swing, landing on the ground. I felt the impact echo through my bones even as my knees remained on the floor. I heard my own voice ask, "Where's dad?"
"He'll be here soon." Memory-Bethany said, walking up next to me. She extended her hand down, offering it to mine.
"DAD!" I screeched, as I watched the shadow-mist wrap around Deacon's ankle.
Bethany lunged forward, stomping the tendril with her heel. She had two glowing whips in each of her hands, radiantly yellow against the backdrop of the cave. A loud crack was heard, and the shadows recoiled.
"Get her out of here!" She shouted, turning towards Deacon. Deacon immediately released his shield, turning towards me and sprinting.
I saw him in the distance of my sunny-day memory, walking towards me. I raised my little arms up and sprinted towards him, and he got down on a knee. As soon as I reached him, he scooped me up and spun me around. I laughed.
Now-Deacon picked me up off of the granite floor, throwing me over his shoulder. I made a small sound as some of the air whooshed out of me.
"GO, GO, GO, GO!" He shouted.
I felt a surge of concern, and extended my hand towards Bethany.
She was currently turning, laughing like a mad-woman as the shadow-creature fought to dislodge its horns from the shield.
A voice like my own bubbled laughter out of my throat. I watched my friends run towards me, and almost cut off with a scream as I saw a shadow-creature lunge for Torrent's legs.
Torrent slashed through the darkness with their sword, leaving a long, jagged line of yellow light where before there was only gray.
"Awww, she looks so happy," My memory-Bethany swooned, reaching forwards to pinch my cheeks.
I shook my head, guilty for feeling joy at a time like this.
Deacon passed through the orange barrier. I felt the soft whoosh over my skin as we came through. He took a few more strides before setting me down, turning back towards the barrier. I, on instinct, turned and forced myself on my feet. I was dizzy with the memory bombarding me, but I knew we had to keep moving.
My hand dragged along the jagged wall as I forced myself to move lightly.
I only made it around the corner before I realized that Deacon wasn't following me.
I turned, poking my head back into the chamber in confusion.
The scene in my right eye had turned into a picnic, with a checkered blanket spread out across green grass. They poured me a bubbling drink out of a bottle that suspiciously resembled a wine bottle.
I tuned into the real world just in time to see Bethany make it through the shield, the deer creature mere steps behind her. He hit against the barrier and let out a wail of anger, balled up hoove-fists half-clawing at the space between. He heaved a sigh, and the heat of his breath fogged up what I now understood was a shield.
His minion-shadows sat back, staring blankly ahead. I was eerily reminded of pawns on the chess board, awaiting a hand to tell them where to move.
"Don't worry," Deacon said, turning back towards me. He took a step forward, and extended his hand. I took it, feeling an immediate kinship. "He can't get past the shield."
"What is that thing?" I questioned, glancing at the creature.
"How many of your memories did you get back?" He asked, evading my question. He began walking, pulling me along. I turned, following where he led. After all, my balance was too shaky to have walked on my own. I was going where he followed.
"I'm not sure. They're still sort of playing out." I said. He gave my hand a soft squeeze, and I blinked, suddenly astonished. "Wait. Are you guys my parents?"
"Not biologically." He said.
"But in every other sense of the word? Yes." Bethany butted in, from the back. I shook some of the water from my ears as I watched memory-Deacon stop invading ants from crawling inside of a picnic basket.
"I'm seeing a picnic." I told them. "But I think this is-"
My head began to ache, and the room spun for a moment. I almost dropped to my knees. It didn't hurt, per se, but I didn't know where the ground was. It was like gravity disappeared and encouraged me to merge with the earth to stay on it.
"Whoa," Deacon said, managing to catch me. Torrent was quickly on my other side, hoisting me back up by the elbow.
"Don't try to remember anything before it comes back naturally," she warned. "You'll give yourself a bit of a headache."
I laughed, feeling a little overwhelmed.
"Chased out of the memory pool by an angry forest animal, chased out of my own memories by the concept of gravity. Cool."
"Don't worry," Sam put in, "You should get everything back eventually. It'll take awhile, though. That was the quickest he's ever found us."
Suddenly, there was a thick tension in the air. Nobody commented, and Deacon hesitated before he continued to walk forward. I could tell that something was off, something was wrong. But I didn't ask, knowing that my questions wouldn't be answered.
Whatever answers I needed were in my own head, now. I would just have to count on myself to be able to access them.
As we kept walking, the picnic memory began to fade. My eyes blinked, and my vision restored to normal. Even with the tense atmosphere, I was grateful to feel like my feet belonged to me again.
We reached the mouth of the cave, and the roar of the waterfall made it nearly impossible to hear. Deacon had to shout, "I'll get in first, then you follow!"
Torrent stayed by my side as Deacon stepped into the car, which was currently dangling like an ornament from a Christmas tree. I cautiously approached the edge of the cliff, with her holding my hand. My knees wobbled as I made the mistake of looking down again. I heard the whisper of my own voice as a child, but couldn't make out what it was saying.
Deacon reached forward, guiding me towards the inside of the pod. My legs shook, and the car swayed out as my front foot hit the ground. I had only a moment of instability before he reached forward, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me into the pod.
"Thanks." I mumbled, immediately scrambling for a seat as he released me. I sat down, grabbing the edge of the bench as I waited for my friends to climb in behind me.
"No problem." Deacon said, letting out a small laugh.
Torrent, then Sam, and then Madeline followed. Finally, Bethany was only a few short steps behind. She slowly rolled up the whip in her hands and stepped into the pod, shutting the door behind her.
As we slowly began to descend downwards, you could feel the energy of the group draining. I felt significantly less on-edge, staring out the window at the orange hue of the shield.
"So," I said, turning towards them, "What now?"
"You should still get back your memories." Deacon said, leaning forward in his seat. He had taken one of the seats closest to the door, with Bethany right across from him.
"You're not fully grounded in this world yet, though." Bethany warned me, her voice grave. "So you will get back your memories, but slowly. You might start to get pulled back into the illusion of the false reality, and that... That can be dangerous."
"How so?" I asked, eager to know more.
False reality... Did she mean my life back home?
"We should tell you as little as possible now." She said, sitting back. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked out the window for a moment before looking down at her feet, suddenly very interested in her shoes as her eyes shone.
"That's okay." I reassured her. "I've already learned a lot today, anyways. Any more and my head might explode."
Sam and Maddie laughed, but it seemed a little too forced.
The ride slowed to a stop as we reached the forest floor. We all clambered out, heading immediately for the carriage. I think the same thing was on everyone's minds.
I had it confirmed when I yawned, and both Deacon and Torrent caught it, Deacon raising his hands up and stretching as he did so and Torrent politely covering her mouth. Deacon shook himself off, as if he could shimmy away the sleepiness.
"Be careful with that, Kid." He teased me, "I still have to drive home."
We all climbed into the carriage. I was lucky enough to get the window seat again, and wondered whether or not they were letting me have it. It couldn't be luck of the draw at this point.
Feeling slightly spoiled, I leaned my head against the side of the cart and peacefully closed my eyes as we began our journey back home.
I leaned my head against the window, closing my eyes and letting my body go slack. I felt myself begin to drift off, memories of leaning my head against a cool bus window on the way to school coming back to me.
I drifted off, but couldn't quite find it in me to sleep.
"That was definitely the fastest it's ever happened." Torrent observed, in a low tone. I knew I wasn't supposed to be listening, "Do you think that means this might be the last time? My bets were on this one. That means Deacon owes me fifty dollars."
"It seems likely." Bethany mumbled back. Her voice was devoid of emotion. "I just hope she can handle it."
I opened my eyes, not wanting them to mention anything they weren't supposed to mention.
Before I could make myself known, Maddie reached up next to me, mindlessly tucking a strand of her own hair behind her ear.
My eyes widened as I saw her ears. Elongated, elf-like, beautiful and elegant. Where they would normally curve, there was instead a couple of inches of extra cartilage coming to a point. I gasped.
I reached up, immediately feeling for my own.
"NO," Bethany said, reaching towards me. But it was too fast, she was across the carriage. I suddenly flashed back to most people in the village wearing hats, covering their heads and part of their faces...
Everyone's ears were concealed.
My mind went blank.
There, where Maddie's ears were tipped and pointed, mine were not. But it wasn't the normal curve of my cartilage; it was flat, and jagged. I could feel small lumps of scar tissue, an uneven cut. A cut.
It slowly dawned on me what had happened, and I felt a vast horror creep up inside my stomach. It didn't stop there, tears welling in my eyes as fear struck through every vein I had like a thunder bolt, as I realized what had happened, that at some point, I had been mutilated.
"My ears," I said, my voice trembling.
"I'm sorry!" Maddie said, her voice shaking. I knew she wasn't apologizing to me, but to Bethany.
"This is why we should have worn hats." Sam observed, their voice neutral.
"I didn't mean to-" Maddie said. Normally, I would have comforted her, I would have jumped to her aid and reassured her that it wasn't her fault, that nobody blamed her for making a mistake so obviously small. But for once, I wasn't thinking of my friends first. For once, I couldn't push past my own emotions, raging inside of me so violently that I don't think I actually felt them at all.
"Who did this to me?" I demanded, my voice cold.