<15.2.24>
I feel kind of empty today.
Nothing really is exciting me that much. Or at least not for extended periods of time.
It's like I feel myself slowly breaking and withering away, and the next thing I know a week has passed and I barely remember a single thing.
This is normal, yes.
That doesn't make it any less shit or any better.
I feel like I'm hurting and bringing down everyone with me as I fall into the depths. But yet there are still people who are so persistent, and I just don't understand how one would be able to support me this much after all the crap I've done.
I'm listening to a song, realising that the song I used to listen to so much years ago now is kind of my reality.
The song title is "Human". The few lines that really got to me was:...
"I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart."
That third line really reminded me of the inner voices in my head that really twist the knife in my chest.
I've been feeling those pains recently. But the only one that's pushing the knife down further is myself. And that sucks.
—Yuna