—
One step forward, two steps back. That's what it feels like hearing Commander Pixis' plan to use Eren's Titan to cover up the hole Bertholdt had created. We're left at an uncertain spot with a newfound Titan shifter. On another note, the new knowledge of another Titan shifter can be brought back to Marley, hell– if we bring him back ourselves it would be even better for us.
These dumb Titans below me never seem to get tired of reaching something untouchable. The way their arms reach over each other makes them look even more unknowing.
A ray of strong red smoke shoots up into the air from the distance, "They failed." I push on my gear to get back up on the wall quickly. I landed right next to Marco and Jean who had just landed a second before me.
"Woah! Armin, where are you going?" Armin grabs an air tank before running off. I assume he's heading straight towards Eren and Mikasa to see what's gone wrong. The way they follow each other everywhere like they were born joint at the hip. I almost envy their friendship. The way they grew up together and stuck with each other through everything they've experienced. Thinking about them makes me wonder about the life that could've existed if I had stayed in Paradis.
Although, in either world, a regular life seems inevitable.
"What the hell is up with the red smoke? What happened to him?" Jean says referring to Eren.
"I don't know but Armin's gone to see. But I– I think it'll be alright," Marco pitches in.
"Yeah?"
"Of course! I mean...this is Eren we're talking about," he says in confidence.
"Yeah. Knowing Eren, he won't give up so easily," I offer some words of comfort to Jean. I am pretty confident that Eren will figure out how to use his Titan sooner or later. That does leave me worried about what kind of situation that will put me in when we have to bring down more walls.
"I don't want to be that guy but this whole thing feels kind of pointless," Connie says.
"Hell, when's the last time a fight against the Titans didn't feel like that huh? The best thing now? Do what we can from losing anymore." Marco and I seem to be the only ones hopeful about this situation.
"I don't like the idea of so many of us being dead for nothing," His head was now turned away from us.
"This was the right call if we want to have any chance at winning this war. This was our only call, Connie," I tried to convince him this was a good idea.
"Was it the right call, though?"
"Yes, of course it was," Jean backs me up.
"Live to fight another day, is that it?" Connie pauses for a moment like he's thinking, "Right. I'm in."
–
"Here's the plan, we don't let a single one of these ugly S.O.B's wander outta this corner. Focus on luring them here and keeping them here, understood? Do not, I repeat do not engage them in combat unless you absolutely have to. I want you on the ground, three cadets per team. When you reach the wall, jump. That clear? Die, and you'll piss me off. If a Titan goes astray, we'll put him down."
A group of us were standing in an alleyway between two houses hiding from the Titans to discuss our plan.
Jean speaks up, "What do you mean if? It's not like we can count on them to follow protocol."
"What if our situation gets risky? Are we free to act at our own discretion or what?" Annie asks.
"Whatever'll make it easier on you," our Elite answers her question.
The sound of a Titan stomping fast forces us to redirect our attention, "Team Kirschtein, move out!"
"Yes, sir!" With those instructions, we were set on moving out. We ran and ran trying to lead every Titan we could find closer to the corner but some of them got too close to the other cadets leaving us with more casualties.
I can hear the last of our Elites screaming as they were being forced into the mouths of a Titan. All that's left is Me, Annie, Connie, and Jean, "Looks like we're on our own now," I say as I continue to run with the three Titans following us.
"Split at the next opportunity!" Jean gives us directions. He really is a good leader, whether he likes it or not. As soon as the next corner became available to us we split our ways, leaving me Titanless. I take this chance to attach my gear to the wall and head to the top. I take a moment to catch my breath and see Annie and Connie make it up the walls as well.
"Jean!" Connie yells out looking below him. I walk towards the edge to see Jean running away from a ten-meter Titan.
"What's he doing? And why the hell isn't he using his gear? Hang on! Don't tell me it's not working!" Connie's voice shows worry.
For a moment Jean disappears inside a house, I presume to take cover from the Titan chasing him. It doesn't take long before he reappears running straight for the lifeless body lying near him, "What's happening?"
"His gear isn't working," I tell Marco without taking my eyes off Jean.
Marco doesn't take another second to think before he jumps straight down heading towards the Titan in front of his friend. As soon as I see him go, I follow through not wanting to see Jean die today. Marco leads the Titan away on foot, while the rest of us follow him from above making sure to look out.
Connie jumps off the roof knocking into the Titan right in front of Jean but as soon as he turns the other way another one appears to be coming straight for him
"Jean–" My own words get cut off by my sudden movements. I jump down to the ground and use my gear to fly under the Titan's legs with my blades out ready to cut its ankles. As soon as I do, it comes straight down. I looked up to see Annie had helped me knock the Titan down.
First saving Connie and now Jean. Thankfully Reiner isn't here to give us any shit about it.
Sooner or later we all ended up back on top of the wall. Out of breath but all of us are alive. We weren't even given a second to catch our breaths before we heard new orders from below us.
"Defend him! To the last man if that's what it comes to!" I hear as I watch Eren's Titan walk towards the gate with a giant bolder held on his back, "Eren must reach the gate! I don't want a single Titan anywhere near him!"
"It looks like we're back on! Focus on keeping Eren safe!" Jean takes his leadership role seriously and directs us with new instructions. The four of us go on our own separate ways to try and lure any Titans getting too close to Eren away.
The Titans seem to be more interested in Eren than anything else making it easier to take them down. Apparently not easy enough though. I can hear more and more screams coming from the soldiers in the hands of the Titans.
I use my gear to grab onto the nearest roof to reach the Titan in front of me. I lift my blades about to attack, "Reiner!" Bertholdt's voice comes from behind me. I let go of the previous wall and grabbed onto one further away from the Titan I was about to knock down. I turn back only to see Reiner fall onto the roof taking someone down with him. I decide to change directions to see what these two idiots have gotten themselves into.
"Someone help–" It's Marco's voice.
I landed right in front of them both, Annie landing a few seconds after me. I suppose she was nearby and also heard. Reiner now sat on Marco's back with a hand over his mouth. My mouth falls open at the scene in front of me. The pants from my weariness fall out in response, "Juliet! Annie! You guys gotta help me!"
"What's going on here?" My voice comes out shaky from a combination of worry and exhaustion.
"Reiner's acting crazy! Get him off me!" Marco's words come out so desperately.
My eyes go from Marco up to Reiner to hear his explanation, "He heard me and Bertholdt talking. If we let him live, he'll expose us." It feels like the air is taken out of my lungs when I hear Reiner's words, "Huh." I can barely get a word out. Not only did Reiner expose himself and Bertholdt, but he's choosing to drag us into it right now.
"You shitheads. What the hell?" Annie seems to have the same reaction as I do.
The way Marco is staring up at me makes my lips quiver. I turn my head away quickly to try and stop the remorseful feeling taking over my body, "A Titan! It's coming this way!"
I hear Marco grunt when Reiner lifts him up, "Juliet! Take off Marco's ODM gear!" I can't help but look between the both of them. Reiner giving me demands and Marco trying to plead for his life. I grit my teeth together trying to decide if I should follow through.
I have to. He'll blow our cover, I have to.
"Do it now!" I fall to my knees in front of Marco careful not to look him in the eyes. The way my mouth trembles doesn't give me room to dispute. I can't even reach Marco's gear with the way my hands are trembling, "Come on! You wanted to help Armin become a soldier, this is how you can get even since it seems you're becoming sympathetic towards the enemy."
My head whips sharply towards him, "Reiner! You know that's not fair—" The words barely come out of my gritted teeth. It feels like even more sweat is coming down my forehead.
"You wanna convince me I'm wrong, then now's the time to do it!" I couldn't help my eyes begin to water, "Think of your father, Juliet. He didn't work this hard for you to fail like this!" His words hit me like a slap on the face.
"Hey! It's almost on top of us!" Bertholdt chimes in.
"Juliet!" The instability in my hands makes it harder for me to take off his gear. I work on unbuckling his gear from his body while the tears start to fog my vision.
Marco begins to scream, "What're you doing? Guys! I thought we were comrades!" The way he's screaming in my face makes it even more challenging to concentrate. There's no way I can get his gear off in time.
I feel Annie's hand forcefully pull my shoulder forcing me to fall on my back and away from Marco, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." My apology goes two ways, towards Marco and towards my inability to follow Reiner's directions. Annie takes my previous position in front of the freckled boy.
I turn my body to look away from the scene but I can't find it in me to get up from my hands and knees. The tears carry on falling silently down my face and onto the floor below me. Marco's screams continue to ring through my ears.
"Please! Please! I don't wanna die here! Don't kill me!"
"You did well, Annie," I hear Reiner say, "This is what makes us warriors." I hear glass break which I could only assume is the ODM gear being thrown into a building, far from Marco's reach.
A gentle hand brings me to my feet. I look over to see Bertholdt with somewhat of a sympathetic look in his eye. I attach my gear to the nearest building, wanting to leave as soon as possible "Why do this? Why are you in such a hurry to kill me? I don't get it. How come? Why aren't you even willing to talk to me?"
As soon as we all get far enough, we stand still close enough to witness the death of one of our comrades. A death that we've caused. His screams don't stop until the Titan holding him bites into his face. The hot tears streaming down my face never seem to stop.
"Hey. Why...?" Reiner begins to say making me look at him with my blurred eyes, "Why is Maarco...being devoured?"
I can feel irritation overfill me as I witness one of Reiner's episodes again. I can't handle staying near him for another minute. I ran and jumped off the building we were on and used my gear to get away as fast as possible. The wind blowing in my face blows any of the wetness from my cheeks.
I've killed before, why was this one so hard?
Maybe it was the fact that Marco was begging for me to spare his life right to my face or the fact that I've spent the past three years training next to him but it only took a few minutes to leave him to die.
The moment I reach a roof far enough, I see Eren's Titan drop the bolder down to cover up the giant hole that was previously letting in all the Titans, "Shit. Looks like that suicidal manica actually did it." I was so in my head that I hadn't noticed Jean was on the roof with me.
"Looks like it," I don't let his comment go unheard. Unbeknownst to Jean, I had just watched one of his friends die at my own fault. I have to resist the urge to apologize right here, right now. Reiner was right, I have become sympathetic towards the enemy but I've never thought of the people of Paradis as my enemy. This was just a job that needed to be done whether it was me committing the crime or not.
However now, thanks to Eren, we were three steps back.
—
Happy Leap day!
Written: Feb. 18, 2024
Posted: Feb. 29, 2024