requested by unrequitedlovefic
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everything was so well til SHE came along, why? why did he have to favor her more when he had you? why did he care for her so much when you did all the work in this empire? why did he took her side when it was so obvious whose child this was?
you could never be yourself around nobody, it was only one person and it was the love of your life and now why did the Gods have to take him away also? you always put a facade to seem as a powerful empress your empire can respect but you didnt have nobody to depend on, you wanted to rely on somebody, you wanted to cast your burdens and worries to them for a least once but you couldnt and it was killing you inside.
how could he never realized how special you were to him until you were gone?
you were working day and night, hours and hours, same goes for qin shi as well but at the end of the day you two would still find ways to see each other and talk to each other even if it was just for a few seconds.
the bond between you two were strong, unbreakable everybody loved that their empress and emperor were madly in love. well, a least now anymore.
it was just a normal day like always, you went into the dining room where you and qin shi would always eat together. but he wasnt alone, he was with... another girl..? as you close the distance, you could really see clearly now. her platinum hair, clear soft white skin that indicated that she wasnt an ordinary one.
as you sat across from them, you looked at the woman and up close she indeed was quite a beauty. her green eyes sparkled like jewels, she was wearing a plain light brown hanfu, not even a fancy one but she looked prettier than you... she was like an adorable weak innocent angel.
no. this wasnt like you at all, youre the mother of this empire. act like it.
you got rid of those negative thoughts as the servants brought out the dinner, "youre not going to say anything?" his voice echoed through the room.
you look up from your plate to his handsome face that was disturbed by a frown.
"it seems ive forgotten my manners, greetings to the sun of the empire." you said sarcastically.
he just sighed, "this is ... Jiaxin, my new and first concubine."
your eyes widen slightly in shock, but you kept your self composed while your gripped your hanfu.
"why? i thought we wouldnt need one?"
"my advisors told me i should get one if you cant conceive a child anymore, and so there can be back up. my love, dont worry about it.."
lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie lie.
you just nodded silently, the whole time it was just qin shi and Jiaxin talking.
you got done with your dinner, you barely ate much but you stood up as you ordered the servants to take it away.
before exiting the room with your handmaid, you suddenly felt yourself turn around now youre face to face with qin shi. you knew he was the strongest but you never seen it yourself.
"you really just going to leave without saying a word? are you mad?" his face got closer to yours, there was only inches left until your lips touched, his fierce eyes looked at you holding eye contact. one thing you know about him is that whenever he talks with someone he always needs to maintain eye contact, its a must.
in the corner of your eye, Jiaxin was glaring at you with steam coming off at the top of her head. She came towards qin shi side and wrapped her arm around his arm pushing her boobs against it.
she pouted her pretty lips and looked up at his tall figure with her bright eyes, "qin shii... arent you going to spend the night with me in my chambers today..?" she grinded against him, "im new, so cant this be a welcoming gift.?"
you looked at him for his response but, he looked troubled picking between you and her. he looked at you for help, you just sighed.
"i see youre going to spend the night with her tonight, wish you two a good night." with that saying, you walked away with your handmaids following you.
"my empress, shouldnt you be concerned?"
"shes already acting like she owns this place!"
"whats wrong with her? doesnt she know who shes talking to!?"
their ramblings went on, you slowly raised up your hand which shushed them. you turned around, and gave them a soft smile.
"i thank you guys for worrying about me, but i trust the emperor and so should you. she is a concubine, after all every emperor needs a few concubines right? its nothing to worry about."
they lowered their head in shame, "we're sorry, empress!"
you forgave them, and let them dress you to bed. which seems bigger now... you looked at the empty side and felt sad.
you hope that he wouldnt change.
negative.
weeks later, you see a change in qin shi and also with yourself.
he smiles brighter, seems happier, but only around her. he never smiled like that around you even when yall spend years together.
and you, you've been having mild fevers along with vomiting every morning. Qin Shi had noticed, and called the imperial doctor over.
they checked your pulse, eyes widening with shock.
"Emperor! congratulations on a heir!"
you were happy, excited to have a child with him! maybe this child will fix you two's relationship. you smiled mentally in your head, you turned to look at qin shi and it wasnt good.
he told the servants to get out to give you two some privacy, his voice was calm but deadly.
once they all ran out in fear, he turned towards you with his head looking like its going to explode.
"who is it?"
you tilted your head to the side slightly in confusion, what does he mean?
"what do you mean?"
"dont play stupid with me, we havent made love together in almost 4 months and now youre suddenly pregnant after we've tried for so long?"
you got up in anger, did he really think you cheated on him!? you spent all your hours in ONE CHAIR, meetings, tea parties, politics, how would you have any time to meet up with another guy??
"theres nobody, youre the father."
"dont lie to me y/n!" he threw a nearby tea pot across the wall, shattering it to pieces. "im not doing this with you. be grateful im even letting you allow to live." he scowl in anger and stormed out the room.
for him you was just an ungrateful slut, how could you do this to him when he provided you with everything you need and you got the highest title as his wife, as the mother of the empire, and the mother of his children.. is it even his children? he was pissed off even thinking about it and deeply hurt he needed Jiaxin.
months went by, your stomach grew and grew. you were currently 7 months pregnant, you've went through many mental break down but you had to keep it up. for you, for your son.. you tried to convince him and tell him youre carrying his child but it was in vain.
while you were suffering, qin shi was melting his pain away that you caused by spending all his time with his concubine and making love to her almost every single night. he was angry and disgusted at you and that you dared to betray him.
although your bond between the emperor was terrible, you two were invited to a massive wedding, for a newly king and queen. you two were required to go, it wasnt that far but that meant you'll be stuck in a carriage with him to give your citizens that everything is alright between you and him.
the servants loaded the items into the carriage, while you got in first and then came Qin Shi. He had a deep frown on his face like he didnt want to be here at all, he looked at your swollen belly and immediately his face was turned into disgust.
he really couldnt believe himself for even allowing you roam around his empire with another man's child in your stomach, his empire his family BUILT for generations. but he couldnt help it, you were just so perfect and flawless, even while childhood you was always like that, perfect and sophisticated.
always in your books to become a good wife and empress for him, he always hear people telling you that your job in your life is to become a wife and a empress devoted to him always.
after all, your family made countless of empress for generations so it was in your genes. he loved that you were only meant for him, only built for him, he love you so much thats why he lets you do this.
hes been in pain ever since he found out, it didnt make sense how you could suddenly be pregnant without no sex for almost 4 months.
through the whole ride, he never glanced at you not even once. he couldnt bear the pain of seeing your stomach with another child thats not his.
fast forward to the wedding, the wedding was long and tiring, it was now night in the reception party and you couldnt help but realize you had nobody to talk to. you dont know nobody from this kingdom, and your husband was ignoring you like always.
you went outside to the garden which was a beautiful view with the stars glowing like diamonds, til you felt something warm in your chest..
you looked down, seeing two holes through your torso.
blood poured out leaving you in a mess of blood, you looked around trying to find who did this to you but it was pitch dark and you couldnt see anything.
your vision was now getting blurry, you want to save your child, you and qin shi son even if he doesnt believe it he'll notice the similarities once you gave birth to it you thought.
luckily, a guard was around and ran towards you shouting out for help which caused a scene.
Qin shi dont know why people around him were acting wild, 'it mustve been for something stupid, people these days so sensitive.' he thought not knowing his son and wife are at life threatening situation.
he sipped his wine, talking to other powerful people when one of his guards ran towards him with a fearful look on his face.
"E-emperor! the empress is in critical condition along with the child!"
his eyes widen, he didnt care about that child he needed to see YOU.
he rushed towards the place you were treated at, but the doctors told him you lost the child before he could go inside your room. luckily you were alive barely breathing, he asked if he wanted to see his child.
his child? dont make him laugh. he was so so wrong about everything, he looked at the bloody baby thats in his arms.
he wanted to rip his heart out, everything. everything about this baby looked like him, his hair, his nose, his eyes, only different was his face shape that looked identical to yours.
is this really his son? he was going crazy, he burst into your room with the baby in his hands, finding you sat up with a frozed look on your face but it explained everything.
you were so hurt, your heart ached, that child was what you needed if you cant have it then what do you even have in this world? why did the Gods keep you alive? why couldnt they let you die along with your son? do they want to punish you more? what do they want..?
you look up to qin shi with the baby in his hands, his hair that was normally perfect was messy and he was full of sweat.
once you saw him you went mad with anger.
"you did this! i know you did! how could you be so cruel to kill a baby!" it took you 3 staffs to pull you away from killing your husband, can you even call him your husband?
"he looks exactly like you! how foolish can you be! my life was always revolved around you, how could you ever think i'll cheat on you! i gave my all to this empire!" you wanted to kill him so bad, but he didnt say anything he kept each and every hurtful words from you silent.
you were always normally so calm and kept to yourself, this is the first time he ever seen you act... not you.
after calming yourself down, you silently sobbed into your hands. A miscarriage has to be the most heart wrenching thing anybody could ever experience, you wouldnt ever wish on somebody not even your worst enemy.
ride back to the empire, was silent full of tension and pressure. til he spoke up.
"im sorry, forgive me. it was foolish of me to think you cheated. im sorry, please forgive me i beg you." he got closer and sat closer to you.
but you wasnt the same anymore, you endured his harsh treatments for months during the pregnancy and now that your child is gone he wants to act sweet? no.
"go. away."
you were depressed for days, til you couldnt take it anymore. you dont have anybody here, why bother staying?
while everybody was asleep, you took a sword from the training grounds and chopped off your own head. your head went flying spraying the ground with blood, with your hair also chopped off..
a servant screamed in the early morning, everybody gathered around your body calling the emperor.
he couldnt believe his eyes, no. this couldnt be real. you was never the type to do this, you were strong and perfect.
he looked at your body which was now pale and grey, but he still held it close to his body.
he cried and cried, shouting his apologies.
"no no, this cant be real. you cant leave me, please dont leave me. im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry... who will be here for me now that youre gone? you cant be gone. i need you, i still need you, our empire needs you. i love you i love you i love you." and with that he couldnt say any more words as he nuzzled his face into your neck.
your headless body.
𝐗𝐎𝐗𝐎, 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐊 .