Chapter Sixty One: Mausebär
~~~
Eva never fell asleep. She tried— she really did. And after a full night on mission, she thought she could fall asleep on the couch, but in all reality, she could not get past a gun to her back. She could not get past trekking through the jungle with her hands tied behind her back. She could not get past the fear pooling in the pit of her stomach from the moment the mercenary's hand wrapped around her ankle, until Kenji was cutting the zipties off her wrists.
And then she laid on the couch, her hair fanning her face as she stared up at the ceiling. The inkling of fear still ran through her blood. She was held hostage. She tried to fight an ex-military avaricious man. Her chest still ached. Her wrist throbbed.
A million times over the past twelve hours, she truly believed she was going to die. She believed that this was the end.
How could she have spent the last twelve hours making stupid after stupid mistakes? How could she stand there pretending everything was okay, when she was so close to losing her life again? She acted like a kid, and if she had learned anything surviving on Isla Nublar, she was more than a survivor. And she sure as hell wasn't a kid anymore.
A hand touched her forearm and she jumped, her eyes springing open as she moved forward, her fist raised.
Ben jumped, begging her not to hit him.
"Ben?!"
"I just came to get you for lunch!" he said quickly.
"Lunch?"
"Yeah. It's lunch time. Yaz said we should leave you alone during breakfast, so we did. It's lunch time now."
Eva lowered her hand, looking around the room. "I'm— I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he said sweetly. "I get it. I'd be jumpy too. Just, come out, all right? We're all gathering on the deck. It might be our last meal... together..."
Eva nodded, apologizing again as she followed Ben out of the cabin.
She took a seat on the couch, propping her feet up on the table in front of her as she was handed a plate with a couple dozen berries. She began stuffing her mouth, not realizing how hungry she was until she began satisfying her needs.
"Are we really off the island? Or is this a dream?" Sammy asked, rounding the corner with her plate in hand.
"If it were a dream, I'm thinking we'd have a change of clothes," Brooklynn said, looking down at her pink jacket, which was caked with mud that most likely wouldn't be coming out any time soon.
"I think I'll have to burn this hoodie," Eva joked.
"Ha! What do you mean?" Ben looked to Brooklynn, "I've always wanted a signature look."
Brooklynn giggled, her laughter infectious, and the others quickly joined in. Eva looked around, realizing Kenji was still in the bridge. She walked away from a laughing Darius, and made her way up to the second floor.
"Hey, Captain," Eva greeted. "It's lunch time."
Kenji kept his back to her. "Can't leave my post till we're docked in Costa Rica. I'm the only one of us who's ever sailed before."
"All right, lemme try again." Eva cleared her throat. "Hey, Captain," she purred. She crossed the cockpit in three strides. Her fingers crept up Kenji's biceps and down his shoulders. "It's lunch time."
"Oh my god," he mumbled. He spun quickly, eyes boring down into Eva's. "What was that?"
Eva tried to force herself not to smile, but she was struggling. "Come on, cut the engine. It might be our last meal with the others."
Kenji smiled softly, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. Their lips brushed together, and Eva smiled into the kiss. Kenji pulled back, clicking his tongue.
"What?"
Eva knew that look. That was his thinking look, and she wasn't getting a good feeling from it.
"Are you okay?"
Eva took a step back, her eyebrows furrowing. "Yes?"
"I'm being serious."
"I don't—"
"You thought you were going to die, so you tried to tell me you were in love with me, and then you lured the Scorpios away from Yaz and I was so... I was so worried you were actually dead."
Her smile fell. "But I came back."
"Yeah, but then you left again. You sacrificed yourself for a fucking computer. And when I got you back again, you had a black eye and you were laughing. What's going on with you? Is this like last month when you got Sammy to give you a haircut? Is it trauma? Fear? Please talk to me. I— I want to understand what's happening, here."
"I— I'm fine. I'm fine," she declared. "We're leaving the crazy dinosaur island behind. That's all that matters."
"Angel."
"I'm fine. Come on, we should join the others." Eva slipped out the door without looking back to see if Kenji was following.
~~~
"And, now, for the main course!" Ben announced, walking in with a plate raised high above his head. "The plumpest and the juiciest... Nublar grubs!"
"Ugh!"
"Eww!"
Everyone groaned in disgust.
"Hand-selected by yours truly," he continued. He picked up a grub and thanked it for its sacrifice before biting it in half. The grub squelched in his mouth as he continuously chewed before swallowing.
"Come on!"
"Do you have to do that here?"
Eva stood up and approached Ben and the grub plate. "I mean, it's protein...?"
"Exactly right, Eva!"
"You cannot kiss me if you eat that," said Kenji.
"Oh, I can't?" Eva picked up one of the grubs off Ben's plate. She stared dead at Kenji, teasing the grub in her mouth. She was snickering the entire time, while her friends were inputting their own disgust. Meanwhile, Ben was egging her on.
Finally, she caved, and bit down into the grub. It was sort of sticky and definitely slimy, and she hated the way it still moved in her mouth. "Oh god, I feel like it's still moving in my mouth!"
"Keep chewing!" Ben encouraged.
Eva panicked and began chewing at record speed. She gagged as the grub slid down her throat in chain links. "I'm good, I'm good, I'm good..." She set the other half of the grub back on the plate, shaking her head.
"Well, if Eva could do it..." Sammy slowly picked up a grub. "I guess the least I can do is keep an open mind?"
The grub inched closer to her mouth, resting on the tip of her lips.
"Do it."
Her mouth opened, and the grub hovered over her tongue. A long stream of goo dripped off the grub and onto her tongue. She screamed, flinging the insect away. It landed on Yasmina's head, who yelled in protest. Yaz flicked it off and onto Darius's face, who flung his arms around and shook his head, trying to get it off.
Ben pulled the grub off of Darius' nose. "How you all survived, I'll never know." He set the plate down in front of Yaz, who pushed it away with her foot.
Sammy sighed in relief, then gagged and shook her head. "Okay. No tears or goodbyes until we're sittin' on the plane. But can I just say, look at us. We started as campers, and now we're—"
"Immortal."
"Survivors?"
"Exhausted."
"Traumatized?"
"I was gonna say soulmates," Sammy said with a smile.
"Still doesn't feel real," Darius said. "We finally made it off the island. Go us."
"I'm gonna miss you guys so much! Before we get off this boat, I'll need everyone to write down their email addresses, social media handles, and weekly availabilities for a group check-in. Also, your favorite kind of cake and the best time of day to receive packages." Sammy tucked a lock of hair behind her ears, blushing. "And maybe, I don't know, for fun, your favorite memory of the two of us?"
Eva sat beside Sammy and slung an arm over her shoulders. "Definitely the time we gave Jarrell a proper, viking memorial, and then almost got eaten by dinosaurs."
Sammy clasped her hands over her heart. "May he live on forever in our hearts, his soul guided to the heavens, patiently awaiting your arrival."
"I just know he's up there smiling down on us," Eva sniffed, tears welling in her eyes.
"You do know you're talking about a stuffed animal, right?" Yaz asked.
"Hey!"
"Don't hurt his feelings!" Sammy shouted. "He can hear you, probably." She grabbed Eva's head and pulled her close, petting her hair. "Cry all you want, Eva. Yaz can't ruin this for you."
Eva smiled into the embrace and hugged her back.
"Hey, who took my food?" Kenji demanded. Eva and Sammy pulled away to stare at him curiously, Eva brushing the tears from her eyes. "I had a bunch of berries sitting right there."
Darius shrugged, "Wasn't me."
"Maybe the boat is haunted," Yaz joked with flat jazz hands.
"Awe heck no, don't even joke!" Sammy laughed.
Across from Eva, Brooklynn sat back against her seat, her plate of berries bouncing precariously on her stomach. "What, no seasickness Ben? What, did the island beat it out of you?"
Ben rose to his feet, his plate of berries in one hand, and his other enclosed in a fist. "When you've seen the things I've seen, a little thing like motion sickness can't— oh! Who ate all the grubs?"
"Ugh, not if you paid me."
"Truly, no one."
Ben turned to Eva, raising accusatory eyebrows. She raised her hands in surrender. "It was not me, on god."
Something, that sounded strangely like a dinosaur, clicked repeatedly.
Everyone peeked around the corner of the deck, revealing a compy. The campers all sighed in relief.
"Of course," Yaz rolled her eyes. "A stowaway."
"The last thing we need is it chewing on some wires or something," Darius said.
"What do you say we catch one last compy? For old time's sake."
"Let's go!"
"Yeah!"
"Come 'ere, bitch!"
"Whoo!"
Sammy, Yaz, Ben, and Brooklynn took off after the compy. Eva turned to Kenji, only for Darius to approach him first. "Listen, man, about what happened—"
Kenji cut him off, telling him he should be at the controls instead of chasing down a compsognathus. "I'm trying to get us all home." His eyes briefly flitted to a confused Eva, before turning and heading for the ladder up to the second deck.
But, Darius wasn't done. "Seriously? I only did what Eva asked me to do. What's your problem?"
"For once, when you have to do the right thing, I'd like to see you put this group first! Just once!" His voice rose with each word until he was yelling at Darius.
"Kenji!" Eva blurted, her eyebrows furrowed.
Kenji looked at her, and for a single moment, his features softened, before growing hard again. He practically stomped away, back up to the bridge.
Darius stepped forward, but Eva was quick to put a hand on his arm, holding him back. "Give him some time, D. I'll talk to him. You know you didn't do anything wrong, right? This was on me."
"This wasn't on you, you—"
"We both did the right thing, Darius." You sacrificed yourself for a fucking computer, Kenji's words reiterated in her head. I'm sorry, she mentally responded. "I'll take care of Kenji. Go help the others with the compy."
Darius slowly nodded before taking off in the other direction. She pinched her nose, before following after Kenji.
"— Anti technology or something?" Kenji muttered. He was laying on his stomach with a wrench in hand, wrestling a piece of machinery under the control board.
"Hey, mausebär."
Kenji froze, shifting just enough to look up at Eva. "What did you just call me?"
"Honey?" She guessed, knowing damn well she had absolutely no clue. Her Oma used it frequently to address her Opa, so she could only hope it was a term of endearment and not one used for hatred.
He nodded, then turned back to whatever he was currently working on.
Eva leaned against the wall and watched him work. "Kenj?"
"Hm?" he mumbled.
"You can relax, you know? Nothing out here will ever be worse than anything we faced on Isla Nublar."
"N-n-n-n-nothing out here— Angel. What about sharks, or storms, or the lunch tray covering the hole and the boat falling off? What if a storm capsizes up and I'm not there to save you? Lots of things could happen, Angel, and without SONAR or a working fucking radio, I'm not relaxing!"
"Kenj." Eva stepped forward, drawing Kenji towards her. "You're telling me you freaked on Darius because you're worried? That's not—"
He rolled his eyes.
"Kenji."
"You could have been killed, Eva."
"He did what I told him to. If there's anyone you should be mad at, it's me." After all, she was already fuming with herself. "I'm..." I'm, what? What was she going to tell him? That her mental health was deteriorating and hanging on by threads, but the prospect of hope and reaching Costa Rica was the only thing keeping her together? What would he tell her? What would he do? Because there's nothing to do unless she had months of time and a decent fucking therapist, and maybe a home that wasn't a hellscape. She had escaped Isla Nublar, only to end up back in her grandparents' care. Two more years. But could she handle it? With how badly Jurassic World fucked her up, maybe not.
Kenji sighed. "I need to get the comms working, and captaining is kinda a solo job, so if you don't mind..."
Eva's smile fell into a frown. She pushed forward, in a futile attempt to kiss him before departing and giving him his space.
Kenji snickered, pushing her back. "I'm serious. You ate that disgusting little insect— you're not, you're not kissing me."
"You're serious."
"Deadly."
She scoffed, "well, then." As she departed, she shouted for Brooklynn, who came running. After explaining Kenji needed a hand setting up the SONAR, Brooklynn took off for the bridge.
Last month, when Yaz and Eva were trying to figure out how to fly the helicopter, Brooklynn butted in and tried to figure it out herself. Claimed she had practice fixing up modes of transportation, and practically shoved the two girls aside to figure out how to fly the helicopter. That ended with a fiery explosion and the three girls barely making it out alive, but maybe this time would be different. Maybe Brooklynn really would know how to fix the SONAR. And besides, she didn't want to leave Kenji alone, as much as he tried to push her away right now. Maybe being near someone he wasn't in love with would help. Maybe being near anyone but Eva would help.