CHAPTER TWO : SUNSET AT THE DESERT
"Peace be upon those who laugh with years of crying in their hearts, those who chose to live even though life hasn't agreed with them yet."
-Unknown
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"My only crime is standing up against the injustice," said Prof. El-Azizi as we wandered through the desert. Aimlessly searching for a hint of life in this vast area.
For the past couple hours, not even a bird or a dead plant has crossed our path. The sun was right above our heads, and the heat seemed to increase by double ever since we started our journey. Sweats covered my forehead and hands; the exposed parts of my body suffered the most in the heat.
The light and airy fabrics of my dress proved to be a help in the arid temperature, compared to Prof. El-Azizi’s and Leila’s outfits. The gap of the sleeves allowed the wind to flow into the dress, without getting direct contact with the sun.
The winds blew past us, carrying the sand with them and leaving the sand stuck into our clothes as if trying to make us a part of the desert. With every step I took on the sand, a piece of me fell and became a fleeting memory in the deserted land. My mind might have lost a part of its memory, but my heart remembered.
It carried a deep longing for something or someone I couldn't remember. Someone who was very dear to me and their absence from my life created a hole in my heart. They couldn't be my family or friends, because I remembered them right away. It was someone else that probably came into my life in the last six years. A bile formed in my throat, making my heart constricted against my ribcage, at the thought of forgetting someone so important.
I glanced at the clear, blue sky as tears pickled in my eyes. What else did I lose other than my memory?
"I might have lost my belongings and been far from my family and children, but I've never been as free as I am today." Prof. El-Azizi sighed. "Now, even if we somehow manage to find a shelter or a nomadic tribe in our way, I just want to live in peace."
"Yes, I thought like that too," agreed Leila. "There's nothing left for me there. Or here. If I survive in the desert, I would like to find somewhere habitable and live a quiet life. If I don't survive," she paused. "I'll take it as an atonement for everything I did to the innocent prisoners."
Silence filled the air as the turn reached me. The breeze of the desert hit my cheeks, carrying a hint of melancholy to my heart. The buzzing of the ever-changing sand dunes echoed in my ears. What do I want the most in life at the moment?
"I just want my memory back," I said quietly, but with the lack of sounds in the desert, I was pretty sure they heard me perfectly.
Both of them had nothing to lose, since they probably did everything they wanted in their lifetime and wanted to settle down in peace. But I lost six years of my life. Being in the desert, banished for a crime I did not remember, in the company of people I had never seen before, I practically lost everything.
Leila nodded in understanding. "Yes, that's a reasonable wish."
Then, we fell into an awkward silence again, where none of us had any words to utter. The strolls towards the unknown, in a strange land void of any living creature except for the sand and the sky, became our only companion in our banishment. It was as clear as the day that our prosecutor chose the most empty, driest, inhabitable area to banish us. Perhaps there was a silver lining in this tribulation. That's what my mother always says when things are going rough and it seems like the future is bleak. But oftentimes, the silver lining was only visible after the cloud cleared. At this time, it still clouded my sight.
"Look, there's a small mountain over there. We can rest under it or spend a night there," said Prof. El-Azizi, pointing towards a rocky mountain ten or two metres from where we stood.
Leila and I nodded, not having any other option but to agree with him.
"Let's just hope there's a hint of water there," added Leila, fanning herself with her hands. "Now, I understand why the prisoner's guards treated me so well yesterday. They even gave me a glass of orange juice."
I heard Prof. El-Azizi let out a small chuckle, whose long strides left us several steps behind. "Thank God they didn't starve all of their prisoners."
Leila gasped, mirroring my own. "They didn't feed you?"
Prof. El-Azizi shook his head. "Only when things get bad or when they aren't in the mood. But I'm used to it. On the day that they didn't feed me, I would fast, and I would break my fast on the day they fed me. The action irritated them a lot, but I wanted to show them that they can't dictate my life like they dictated the kingdom."
As we reached the small mountain, I realised it wasn't as small as I imagined it to be. The mountain was twenty metres or more in height with a flat top. Prof. El-Azizi climbed to the top, which worried me considering his age. But he climbed it with ease, as if he used to hike a lot during his younger days. I wondered if he was truly an ordinary university professor like he claimed to be. Leila and I stopped in the middle of the hike in a narrow, flat area to rest against the mountain wall and catch our breaths.
"I truly hope there's a magical well in the mountain to quench our thirst. Highly impossible, but it doesn't hurt to dream, is it?" Leila said to me in between her breaths.
I kept quiet, unsure how to answer as I looked at the view in front of me. The desert seemed hauntingly beautiful when viewing it from above. The empty, reddish-brown field contrasted with the clear blue sky above, creating a deep difference between what my remaining memories stored and the reality I faced in the moment. There was no desert in my home county. The geographical location and ecosystem prevented it from coming into being.
The Chermin Kingdom that I remembered and loved dearly was a prosperous place. Not of wealth or modernity, but of the abundance of natural resources, flora, and fauna. Even if I were to be banished into one of the tropical forests or islands, I would be able to find various types of fruit and plants to eat, and the ever-flowing rivers could be my main source of refreshment. If I was lucky, I could live until old age if the wild animals didn't come to me first. But here... I didn't know how long I could last in the scorching heat, in an inhabitable area, without a hint of water or plants.
That's why they banished us into the desert, my conscience concluded. It was not to give us a second chance in life or a mere punishment. But to give us the suffering of a slow and lonely death, the most horrible punishment for people with the gravest crimes.
I heard a shuffle beside me and saw Leila brush off the sand from her clothes at the corner of my sight. "It may be confusing at first, but you'll get used to it. Time might be a terrifying force, but it also heals."
She patted my back before climbing the rest of the way towards the top, as if sensing that I wanted to be left alone. I stared at her as she climbed up the mountain.
Was she a psychologist or something? She seemed to understand my situation a lot without me voicing it out. Or maybe she was just empathic.
Leaning against the hard, uncomfortable, rocky wall, I closed my eyes and focused on the wheezing wind hitting the mountain. It was the only sound of life in the empty desert other than my own voice and my companions' deep accents in the banishment.
If I survived this punishment, if I could find a way to get out of the desert, I would find my lost memory, and I would find out what made them banish me into this desert. Prof. El-Azizi and Leila could have their awaited peaceful, quiet life with all due respect. But I wouldn't stop until I found out the truth, no matter what it took.
I opened my eyes and stood up on the hard surface. Squaring my shoulders, I squinted my eyes at the view in front of me, hoping it was the direction towards Akkadiyah. I hoped they could feel my glare. They might think that they had gotten rid of me by banishing me into the desert, but I would find a way to survive on this strange land and find all my lost memories. There must be a way to find out all the truth.
As I raised my right foot to climb the mountain, a tinkling sound reached my ears. I put my foot down and heard the same sound. I patted down on my body before feeling something on the right side of my dress. I fumbled into the pocket and came into contact with a warm metal.
"What's this?" I said quietly before glancing above me, in case Prof. El-Azizi and Leila heard me. When I saw no one within hearing range, I inspected the key.
It was a vintage style key, with the bow of the key shaped like a three-petal flower. The metal surface was a bit rusty, but since it was made of thick metal, the key was mostly undamaged. Shaking my head, I put the key back into my pocket before climbing to the top of the mountain.
Three of us sat on the mountaintop, our legs dangling from above, except for the elderly Prof. El-Azizi who crossed his legs. The clear blue sky morphed into a reddish-purple hue and the solitary orange ball on the sky inched closer towards the lowest point of our sight. Normally, in my home country, if the sky turned that kind of shade, the birds would start chirping and flying towards their nests. In the desert, all those things were almost nonexistent.
How strange the world is—how a distance could make so much difference.
"Soon, the sky will turn dark and the temperature will drop very quickly," whispered Prof. El-Azizi through the silence. "But we'll live. Like how we live against all odds today."
"Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Do you think we can find a source of water?"
"We have to. We need to keep living. Because I need to find my lost memories," I mumbled, curling the end of my sleeve with my fingers. "I don't want to die like this," my voice cracked at the end.
I heard Prof. El-Azizi sighed. "Oftentimes, knowledge is a blessing that comes with incredible gifts. But other times, it's a curse. To ourselves or those around us."
Leila nodded at the corner of my eye.
"Appreciate your ignorance while it lasts. I'm sure you'll find your lost memories soon. And then you'll wish that you never remembered."
I tilted my head at Prof El-Azizi, who sat next to Leila, to take a better look at him. His weary eyes reflected the sun's orangish tint of the setting sun. Multiple creases at the corners of his black eyes and his wrinkled face indicated his age.
Then I glanced at the sunset again, pondering over his advice to me. His words sent shivers down my spine. The goal of recovering my lost memories did not feel as enthusiastic as it was before. Prof. El-Azizi appeared to be a knowledgeable man, and what he said held many truths in it.
I just hoped this time, he was wrong.