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chapter eighteen;
all-consuming rage
A week or so later, James couldn't stop thinking about Peter and what his tainted magic meant. He knew Amaya was right, he knew why she didn't trust his friend after all his magic made her sick since the beginning—James wouldn't have trusted him either if he only met Peter now.
But the truth was, he met Peter when he was an eleven-year-old chubby kid, who, to be fair, got on his nerves in the beginning but grew to be one of his best friends. They'd grown up together, and Peter was the only one out of the four of them who had never been in a disagreement with anyone. Always agreeable, always the middle man.
He couldn't get the fact that perhaps something was wrong with Peter's magic because they were straying away and in part putting him aside and perhaps he was dabbling with the Dark Arts as a coping mechanism. Of course, he knew how ridiculous that sounded, but he was afraid to jump to conclusions when it was his friend he was talking about.
That must've been why he didn't tell Amaya he felt the dark magic she always felt around Peter. He didn't want to keep that a secret but in the back of his head he knew if he told her it would become real, and he knew he would have no choice but to believe his friend was gone.
One way or the other, James was on Amaya's side. She was right (like always) and Peter had most likely tried to fucking kill her with a bludger. If James had proof he would've flamed the rat—friend or not.
As a solution to everything, James planned for them to go out after a day of the week, so he could either make sure Peter knew he was still their friend and find out whether he tried to kill Amaya or not—he wanted to save his friend from whatever vile magic had taken a hold of him but if he endangered Amaya, James couldn't promise he wouldn't kill Peter or maim him at least.
That's how he found himself sitting in a booth at Three Broomstick they used to sit in when they were at Hogwarts. They agreed to meet there for a night out. James had greeted Rosie on his way in and sat down as he waited for the boys.
Sirius had gone to see Marlene first and Remus was still focused on whatever he and Amaya were working on—they'd kicked James out of the library at some point and Amaya had winked at him on his way out, as she faked a silent moan as she looked at Remus who was concentrating on something on the desk (James had let out an audible laugh and Amaya had grinned his way before magically slamming the door in his face).
And Peter was supposedly on his way.
James was on his second butterbeer when Peter arrived and the others were still to get there. His friend—James still wasn't sure whether the title prevailed—greeted James with a grin as he went to get a drink, and for a split second James regretted ever thinking something was wrong with him, it was Pete. And then he tried to feel his magic again and the same darkness took over his senses.
His gaze fell to Peter's arm. He was wearing a jumper, covering his forearm. Could it be? But he'd seen him with a sleeve shirt recently, he was at the lake too—
"Prongs?"
James shook himself out of his thoughts and smiled at his friend who was now sitting down in front of him, looking at him weirdly. "Sorry, mate, zoned out. How was work?"
Peter's smile was nervous and he sipped his butterbeer with a shrug. He'd announced the week past he'd gotten a job working as an apprentice to a retired barrister, called Melrose—James was only now finding it suspicious how he hadn't even heard the barrister's name (not that he knew a lot of barristers).
"It was fine. Boring. I feel like his maid, I haven't learned anything about magical Law only that Melrose takes his tea with a little whiskey." James let out a snort at that and Peter chuckled. "Where are the others?"
"Remus is at the Manor helping Maya with something. And Pads is with Marls—" James grinned, "I think they're finally official."
"About time. That leaves three of us."
James frowned. "Well, not really. Amaya's my—"
"Girlfriend?" Peter looked skeptical and James blushed.
"Well, we haven't labeled it but—"
"You want to label it?" James was starting to dislike his friend's tone. Peter's face looked on the verge of a grimace.
"Yes."
Peter let out a laugh. James just stared at him. This was not how James expected the night to be going, in fact, he thought they would hang out and he would find nothing wrong with his friend. Only at the moment, even if Peter wasn't a traitor like his magic pointed him out to be, he was begging for James to deck him in the face.
When he realized James wasn't joking, Pete stopped laughing and rolled his eyes. "You're actually serious?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I love her, mate."
"Prongs, she's not even your girlfriend," Peter said bitterly, and James was taken aback.
"She might as well be," he answered, the words falling from his lips without hesitation, his hold on his glass tightening. "She could be my wife if she wanted to. I'd do anything for her. So I don't get what your problem is with her."
"It's not a problem. It's just, can't you see?"
"See what?"
"She's turning you against me. Against your friends."
"She's not. She loves Pads and Moony."
Peter's face twisted, getting red. "What about me? Huh? Am I relevant at all?"
"Mate, you don't like her either—"
"Because she deemed me a bad person from the beginning!"
James took a deep breath, looking around the Three Broomsticks, and seeing Rosie look confused their way, a couple of other clients looking at them. James stood up, and Peter frowned at him. He talked quietly, "Outside. Now."
The moment they got outside, at the back of the pub, Peter loudly scoffed. "What? Did I say something wrong, Prongs? That—witch—hates me. And she's turning you all against me."
"That's not true," James said calmly, trying to keep his composure. "Pete, you're my friend but she's—"
"Your next obsession?"
"What?"
Peter scoffed. "She's your new Lily."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He sneered. "Well, you obviously got tired of Lily's rejections, so you moved on to the next best thing. The new girl is conveniently staying in your house. Honestly, you didn't even have to walk further than across the hall to get her—"
"Pete—"
"I mean, how easy was it, James? Did you even have a challenge? Or did she let you in her knickers like a slag—"
James saw red. He grabbed Peter by the collar and in the next second James's fist hit Peter, square in the jaw, making the boy stagger back, grabbing his jaw. But James was hardly done, he grabbed his friend by his shirt and shoved him against the wall outside.
"Watch it, Wormtail," he snarled but Peter only scoffed in his face.
"Typical. What? Am I your new Snivellous, Prongs? Do you always need to show how strong you are for girls?"
James let him go, seething as he stepped back.
"You don't have to do that for Amaya, Prongs," he kept talking as he caught his breath, "She already let you fuck her—"
Wordlessly, and wandlessly, James hit Peter with a spell that sent him flying against the wall. He walked over to him, glaring down at his friend on the floor. He grabbed him up again, making Peter stand up. He didn't care anymore. "Did you mess with that bludger?"
"What?" Peter asked with a gasp.
James's jaw clenched. "You heard me. Did you try to kill Amaya?"
Peter hesitated. James' anger flared up and Peter must've seen the murder in his eyes because he started shaking. "I'm sorry Prongs. I didn't mean to, I swear—"
He heard the confirmation. Loud and clear.
And without thinking, and letting his wrath take the better of him, James punched him again. Peter stumbled backward, his arms flailing in a feeble attempt to defend himself. But James was relentless, his rage propelling him forward with unstoppable force.
With a desperate cry, Peter swung his arm, aiming for James's jaw. But James ducked, his momentum carrying him forward, and he tackled Peter around the waist. They crashed to the ground in a tangle of limbs, the impact knocking the breath out of both of them.
For a moment, they grappled on the ground, each trying to gain the upper hand. But James's anger gave him strength, and he managed to pin Peter beneath him, straddling him as he delivered another blow to the little rat. "What the fuck, Pettigrew? You didn't mean to?"
Peter shook on the ground, shaking his head as he tried lamely to get James off him. "I was jealous and I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to kill her, I just—"
"Thought you could maim her a little?"
"She's taking my friends from me! Please, I'm sorry!"
"Not good enough."
James was sure he'd regret it, but at the moment he could only see Amaya's face of pain as she gasped for air that afternoon. He landed another blow to Peter's already swollen face.
Peter cried out in pain, his attempts to fight back growing weaker with each blow. But James showed no mercy, his fists pounding into Peter's body with relentless force. It was a brutal and one-sided fight, with James dominating every aspect of the struggle.
James was sure he would've beaten Peter to his death if it wasn't for someone ripping him off the little rat moaning in pain on the ground.
"What's going on?" Sirius' voice broke through his wrath-hazed mind and, breathing heavily, James finally realized Sirius and Remus had arrived and were now holding James back. He looked at the pub and saw some people looking through the window.
James shirked Remus and Sirius off him, ignoring his questions as he went to stand over Peter. His face was bloody and barely recognizable, and he lay battered and broken and still moaning in agony. James couldn't find it in himself to pity him or regret what he'd done. Though he did regret letting his rage consume him.
But Peter tried to harm the woman he loved—he fucking tried to kill her. And now that he thought about it, and if Peter was the spy, he was responsible for sending the Death Eaters to the flat to attack the girls. For announcing Amaya's presence to Voldemort. For getting her in danger.
In a flat second, he had his wand pointed at Peter, ignoring Remus and Sirius who were still asking questions.
The little rat squeaked and James' hold on his wand tightened. "We're done, Peter. Finished. You fucking crossed the line, so there, friendship fucking over. And for your information, you did that. Not Amaya."
"What the fuck happened?" Remus asked, looking between James, still seething, and Peter gingerly sitting up against the wall, his face swelling up.
James glared at Peter and shrugged as he walked past his friends. "Ask, Pettigrew."
With that, he walked away, around the pub, and to an apparition spot only Sirius followed after him stopping him before James could leave.
"Mate, you punched Wormy into a pulp."
James looked in the direction of the rat, and he bristled again. He had no right to talk about Amaya like that. He had no idea what she'd been through, how hard her life had been. And what the hell was his idea of trying to hurt her? Fuck, James should go back there and flame the little creature. He shrugged, meeting Sirius' eyes. "I did."
"And why did you?"
"Amaya was right," said James, "Something is fucking wrong with that rat."
"Come on, Prongs, what happened?"
Running a hand through his jaw, James said, "He's the one who messed with the bludger."
"What the fuck?"
James nodded. "He said he was jealous. That she's taking his friends away from him. And I... saw red. It was worse than when Snivellous called Lilly a... you know. I just, I wanted to fucking kill him. He messed with Amaya, Sirius—"
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, mate." Sirius's jaw clenched. "If it were Marlene... We're fucking cavemen we are."
"Do you think Amaya will kill me?"
"For what?"
"The violence?" James paled. "Fuck. Sirius, she grew up with violence, what if I remind her of that... What if she hates me? I fucked up. What if—"
Sirius' hand on his shoulder stopped James' rambling and he smiled tightly. "Be honest with her, Prongs. And believe me, Amaya would obliterate anyone who tried to kill you too."
That got a tiny smile out of James that vanished as he looked down at the blood on his fists. He cleaned it up wandlessly.
"We need to go to Dumbledore," said Sirius after a few moments, his eyes set on Peter being tended to by Remus who seemed to be trying to heal the mess James made. "Do you think he's the mole in the Order?"
"I'm not sure. But if I don't get out of here soon I'll kill the bastard." James glared at him when he saw Remus healing the bruise on the rat's jaw. "We have to act normal if he is the spy. If he senses something wrong he'll scatter to his master."
"Because you normally kick his arse?"
James shrugged. "That's different, mate. I have a reason. He tried to kill the love of my life."
Rolling his eyes, Sirius nodded. "We'll go to Dumbledore. He must know what to do. Get out of here, mate, I'll deal with the little prick."
And so he did, apparating to the edge grounds of the manor just as it started pouring outside. He walked in the rain, not ready to go home just yet, and merely letting the rain wash away his anger.
And with the anger gone, or hidden away, James was left with his thought. What if Peter was right? What if Amaya thought she was just a convenience for him? She wasn't. Merlin—she was the furthest thing away from convenience for him. In truth, she was the love of his life.
He loved Amaya Santoro. She wasn't a convenience, she was everything and he needed to make sure she knew that. Even if she never loved him back, even if she pushed him away, he needed to tell her she wasn't just someone he was shagging. He needed her to know his heart beat for her with his every breath.
He needed her to know that somewhere along the line she became his everything. And that she could mock him for being a sappy sod but that was the truth.
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author's note:
I'm not in love with this chapter. I'm not sure if James is a little ooc. But do I care? No. Because we got to see Peter being beaten up the old fashioned way .
Thanks for reading, and supporting, I appreciate it
xxx