✟ 𝙀𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙧 ✟
Maybe I shouldn't snoop.
Too late.
A couple minutes after Olivia and Indria went upstairs I slipped away from the table to follow them. I was about to make an appearance when I heard my name mentioned.
"He told me that he couldn't date me because I cared more about Ethan than I did him. Apparently I talked about Ethan 24/7 when we were dating."
"I also accidentally called him Ethan."
My heart completely stopped.
What.
She can't do this to me.
There's no way.
She spoke again
"Ugh we were out getting icecream, and he kept trying to lick mine. I was laughing so hard I didn't even realize that I called him Ethan. I don't laugh that hard unless I'm with him, so it was a reflex."
Suck my dick, Nick.
I genuinely couldn't believe what I was hearing. There's no way she liked me. This whole 'crush' thing is like we're middle schoolers. It's embarrassing I like her this much.
I'm not going to believe this. I can't. As much as I'm already hopelessly in love with her, I can't let our friendship die.
"ETHAN COME DOWN HERE" I immediately ran down the stairs, in order not to get caught.
"What?" Mom was motioning me towards the door.
"Your Dad just stormed out because Kenji called your grandfather a dilf. So we might wanna leave."
"Oh-"
............................................................................
2 days before the party
"Will you come with me?"
"To where darling?"
"The mall. I wanna get a new dress for Adam's stupid party."
"You've gotten 5 different dresses since June, are you sure you need more?"
"Fine. I'll go by myself."
"Okay damn I'll go."
I had convinced myself that what I heard wasn't real. That I was just imagining things because I'm delusional. We had been hanging out when our parents didn't take us places, which was mostly in the mornings and evenings. I tried to distract myself by doing other things. I think I had mastered the art of skating. I already knew how but Olivia didn't need to know that. I started crocheting, and hanging out with my Dad in the gym more often.
"Earth to Ethan" Olivia was waving her hand infront of my face.
"Hi sorry."
"Whacha thinking about?"
"About how I'm gonna deal with this dumb party."
"Fair."
She was the one driving this time, since I refused to.
When we finally got to the mall, she ran into the first store she saw.
Almost like your dating life
Okay shut up brain.
"Thoughts?" The first one was a pink silk dress, than fell to the floor.
"Too formal."
"That's what I was thinking." She went back into the dressing room.
"What about this one?" She came out, again in another pink silk dress, only this one barely covered anything.
"Maybe a bit too informal."
I put her bag on my lap.
"I think I like this one the most" She walked out wearing a white knee length dress, that fitted her well in the top, and had a flowy bottom. It was covered in small blue flowers, and had a zipper that reached her hips.
"I agree."
"Alright. It's your turn."
"What do you mean it's my turn?"
"My bucket list."
"No."
"Pretty please?"
Do it for her. You practically started salivating at the last party, do this for her.
"Fine."
"Yay!" She ran to the register, paid and dragged me out of the store.
"What the hell is Spencers?" I asked
"Only the finest establishment of all time."
"Riiiiiight."
What in good god was this store. It was so...black. There was mugs, t-shirts, pillows, almost everything, of different Japanese cartoons.
"I'm gonna find you a hoodie. Just don't go to the back okay?"
"Um okay?"
I went to the back.
1. What the fuck 2. Usually things like this wouldn't bother me, however I'm with someone very...close to me. 3. Why the hell does she know what's back here.
"Ethan I told you not to come back here." She laughed
"I was curious."
"And?"
"And what?" I looked around, embarrassed.
"Do you like what you see?"
"Oh god no Olivia. What are you talking about."
She started laughing "My bad"
We walked out of the store, heading back to the car. She refused to let me see what was in the bag until we got home.
"Okay go put it on." We were at my house, because her house was way too full.
I looked at her quizzically.
Oh god.
She had wasted her money on an 'I ❤️ hot moms' hoodie.
"OLIVIA I AM NOT WEARING THIS" I yelled from the bathroom
"YES YOU ARE. IF YOU DON'T IM GONNA POUR ALL YOUR DAD'S SOAP OUT AND BLAME IT ON YOU."
Fuck her.
You know you want to.
Someday, I'll get a brain implant. Getting rid of this dumbass.
I took off the shirt I was wearing before, and tugged the hoodie on. I have to admit it was really comfortable.
I stepped out of the bathroom and did a 360° to really show off the hoodie.
I heard Olivia burst out into laughter, but I was already too late.
Dad was standing by the pantry just looking at me, a horrified look on his face.
"Dad I can explain."
"E-ethan?"
"Yes?"
"What have you become?" I think he started to tear up.
"Aaron are you okay?" Olivia asked, inbetween fits of laughter
"You are no longer my son." He pointed at me, and walked into his bedroom.
"I'm so sorry Dad" I tried to go after him, but he slammed the door.
"I-im so sorry" Olivia choked out, wiping tears from her eyes.
"I don't laugh that hard unless I'm with him."
"Aw man I love you." She put her hand on my shoulder, still laughing.
I felt like I was going to sob. Or get sick.
Spoiler alert, I was about to throw up everywhere.
"Olivia."
"Yeah?" She was grinning at me
"I'm going to throw up."
"Wha-"
Before she could speak I was running as fast as possible to the bathroom. I hate throwing up. It's genuinely one of my least favorite things.
Why was I getting sick? I'm so desperately in love with Olivia that I couldn't stomach the fact she may not like me. Took love sick to a whole new level.
"Oh god Ethan are you okay?"
"Oh just dand-" #Blowingchunks
"Well shit." Instead of running away, or being disgusted, she stood behind me, rubbing my back. "It'll be okay."
I threw up harder.
I felt like I was going to die. I felt like I was going to throw up so hard my organs would come out.
Dad came running into the room.
"What's going on her- Oh my god Ethan are you okay?!" Dad kneeled beside me while I got rid of anything and everything in my stomach.
"Ethan it's goi-"
"Get out." Dad said sternly
"Excuse me?"
"Get out of this house."
"What? Why?"
"Olivia Kishimoto, get the fuck out of my house."
"Jesus Christ okay." She walked out of the room, stepping over my legs. I heard the front door slam.
"Ethan what's going on."
I finally leaned back from the toilet, which really needed to be flushed.
"I don't know."
"You're tense. I don't know what that other emotion is, but I know it's not good. Olivia is causing it. You're sick because you like her so much."
I forgot he could read me like a book.
"Is everything okay in here?" Mom poked her head in
"Our son just got rid of anything he has ever eaten."
"Aw I'm sorry my love"
"I'm your love. He can be your son or something." Dad crossed his arms.
"Shut up." Mom helped me up "Let's get you in bed."
"I'll make soup." Dad marched off to the kitchen while Mom and I went upstairs.
"My poor baby."
I felt like a child. She propped my head up with a couple pillows, and tucked me into bed.
"I know you're sick because of Olivia."
I felt my cheeks heat up "What?"
"You're in love with her. It makes you physically ill knowing that she doesn't love you like that back."
"Wha- how do you know about that."
"You're my son. I see that way you act. I've watched you grow up. I've also watched Olivia grow up. I know when something's up."
I nodded "I guess. I'm sorry Mom."
"Why are you sorry my dear?" She scooted over to me, and started to run her fingers through my hair.
"I dunno. This shouldn't effect me so much."
"You're love sick kid." Dad said, walking in with a bowl of steaming chicken noodle soup
"I know."
Dad sat at the foot of my bed.
"God my life is going to shit."
"That's how I felt when your mom shot me when I kissed her."
"Okay let's not bring that up." Mom smiled.
"She knew I was in love with her. I told her. She just didn't know how she felt."
"I was stubborn"
"You still are Mom."
"Oh shush stomach acid man."
"Too soon" I huffed
"It'll get better kid. I promise." Dad patted my leg.
"If I were you, I'd be straight up. Tell her. It'll cause you less pain."
"Um no. Put her to the side of your head and move on."
"Aaron."
"I'm being serious. Usually I would say giving up is for the weak but in this case, give up."
"Your father might be right."
I hesitated. "Okay."
............................................................................
The day before the Party
Darling
Can you come over?
It's 9pm. You didn't talk to me for the rest of yesterday. Why do you want to now?
Because
I'll meet you on the swingset.
So I did not listen to my dad's advice.
I left to sit outside, waiting for her
"Hey"
"Hi" I responded.
"So what's up?" She sat on the swing next to mine
"I need to talk to you about something."
"Oookay?"
"You have to promise you won't make fun of me" I stuck my pinky out
She took it.
Our hands dropped.
Still holding onto eachother.
"Look Olivia, I want to be your best friend."
She laughed "You already are."
"I don't mean it like that. I want to be your best friend that you fall hopelessly in love with. The one you take into your arms and into the private world you keep trapped in your head."
My eyes were stuck looking at our fingers before I continued
"I want to be that kind of friend. The one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them. I want to know how to convince you to design a smile just for me. So yeah. I want to be your bestfriend. Your best friend in the entire world."
I looked up at her.
Her face is something my soul will never forget. She looked so conflicted.
"Ethan..." She unlocked her finger from mine. "I can't."
"Can't what?"
"I don't think I like you like that. I have so much going on in my head right now. I mean everything that happened in June, and now this. I mean I know you liked me I just- I thought you got over it."
"I'm sorry Olivia."
"Please don't be sorry." Her eyes started to well up with tears.
"Olivia..."
"I can't do this right now Ethan." She got up from her seat, and ran back home.
Fuck my life
Jesus Christ Mom. You give terrible advice.
............................................................................
The day of the Party
"I'll be right down" I called
"Well hurry your bum up."
Last night was a shit show. I didn't want to think about it.
I'm gonna have to think about it.
It was exactly half and hour before I would be looking Olivia in her eyes, after exposing all my feelings to her.
I can't function. I have a certain amount to syllables I can get out of my mouth, Then I'm done.
God it hurts so much.
Fuuuuuuck
I walked out of my room, light purple button up and black pants. My hair was ruffled, I couldn't be bothered to fix it. I had a couple rings on each finger, and the bracelet Candace had given me for my birthday.
"You look decent." Dad said
"Gee thanks."
"Don't listen to him." Mom shot him a look "You look very handsome."
"All the Kishimoto's are horrible people" I do not want to go." Dad complained
"Um no. There is no Kenji slander in this house." Mom said
Dad and I glanced at eachother "right."
After an excruciating drive to Adams house, we finally got there.
I can't do this.
My plan is to become my father. Do not speak to anyone, stand in the corner and if people talk to me, be an asshole.
We walked in, immediately greeted by Alex and Indria.
"Hey guys!" I side eyed Indria.
"Okay Mr.heartbroken let's go to the kitchen."
FUCK YOU ALEX
I rolled my eyes, following him into the kitchen
Sometimes I forget Alex can read my mind. It drives me in fricken sane.
Fuck my life.
Standing, her back to me, was Olivia. Wearing the dress she bought with me, and the black Mary Janes I had given her.
"Nope." I spun around and walked the other way. I sat down on the couch and much to my dismay, Naz sat next to me.
"Ethan."
"Nazeera."
"I'm sorry."
Huh
"Sorry for what?" We didn't look at eachother, we both just stared ahead.
"My daughter."
"You cannot control your daughter."
"Oh I am well aware of that. She's being difficult."
"You don't say."
Suddenly the party decided to move to the living room
Oh wonderful
"Hey guys!" Adam walked in with some 8 year old.
"Who's kid is this?" Kenji bent down to inspect him.
"My brother?" Nick said from across the room.
"You have a brother?" Mom asked.
"Yeah"
"Oh good god they're multiplying." Dad said under his breath.
Olivia walked over and sat directly beside me
What the hell woman
"So how are we all?" Ian asked from the doorway. Adults were scattered around the room. Most sitting, some standing, almost all the teenagers were sitting around me and Naz.
I was fiddling with my rings when the 8 year old spoke to me.
"How do you have so many nice things when you're the same age as Nick? I don't know anyone your age who has nice things."
I stared at the child while I heard Olivia stiffle a laugh.
"Is there anything you want to add to this conversation darling?" I turned to her, giving her major stink eye. I'm petty okay?
"Why do you call her darling? Nick says you say it alot. Are you in love with her? I think Nick's in love with her. Candace isn't in love with her though, I already asked."
I kinda just stared at him while the room went silent.
Why are all of these adults invested in this
"Well?" The kid asked
"Well what?"
"Are you in love with her?"
"Are you in love with her?" I countered
"What? No. She's like a million years older than me."
"Would anyone else like to take over this conversation?" I looked around the room pleadingly.
"Um yeah." Mom started talking to Kenji, which made the small talk resume. Everyone got up and started walking to different rooms except for Olivia.
"I believe you two need to um. Speak." Naz got up and left.
"Ethan."
"Olivia."
She's going to be the death of me.