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Celine
When I wake up again, it's dark outside and the only one in the room with me is my dad. I look over at him, exhaustion weighing heavily on my eyelids.
"Dad.." I whisper. "Dad."
He stirs in his sleep.
"Dad." I whine quietly.
His eyes slowly open and he looks around, smiling when his gaze lands on me. "Hi, baby." He leans forwards, crossing his arms and resting them on the bed beside me. "What's wrong?" He asks quietly.
"I don't.. like it here. I want to go home."
"I know." He whispers.
"Then take.. me back home." I croak out. "Please."
He tilts his head, regarding me for a moment. Then he responds, "I'll try."
I'm unable to stay awake any longer.
•
I open my eyes to see my dad packing things around the room into the bag he brought when we first got here.
He grins when he notices that I'm awake. "Good morning, baby."
"What're you doing?" I ask.
"We're going home." He tells me, a soft smile on his face.
"Really?" I ask, blinking the tiredness from my eyes.
"Yeah." He says. "I've hired a nurse to come stay with us, so she can help with everything medical. You'll still have your IV's and come here for your chemotherapy appointments, but you'll be home for the majority of the time."
I smile.
Nicolas walks in, wheeling a wheelchair in front of him. His eyes soften when he sees me. "Hey, CeCe."
"Hi." I say, my smile widening. "I'm going home." I say excitedly.
"I know." He replies.
My dad pulls me into a sitting position, then lifts me off the bed, keeping me wrapped up in my blankets, before setting me down on the wheelchair. He leans down to kiss my cheek, squeezing my shoulder.
"Thanks dad." I whisper.
He smiles as he tucks the blankets into my sides. He finishes getting my stuff before Nicolas holds onto the handles of the wheelchair and begins to push it out of the room. Excitement bubbles inside of me and I kick my feet lightly.
He wheels me out of the hospital and over to the car. My dad opens the door, then lifts me into the backseat. He leans down and brushes hair out of my face before kissing my cheek. "Your nurse is already at the house, getting everything ready for you. Her name is Valencia. You need to be nice to her, okay?"
"I'm always nice to people."
He tilts his head. I laugh. He rolls his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. "Alright. It's a long drive, so if you want to go to sleep that's fine."
He reclines my chair. "We'll get you some food, too."
"Can I.. have chocolate, please?" I ask.
"Sure, baby." He says softly. "When we stop somewhere I'll get you whatever you want."
He kisses my cheek again before closing the door and getting into the drivers seat. I look up at the roof of the car and wrap my arms around myself, kicking my legs loosely.
I don't fall asleep. I listen to my dad and Nic talk lowly, and I think they only realise I'm still awake when Nicolas turns around to check on me. He smiles. "We're stopping now. What do you want?"
I shrug. "I don't mind."
"Okay." He smiles. "I'll go to the shop while you go through the drive through."
"Alright." Our dad says. Nic gets out the car, and the it begins moving again. A few minutes pass before my dad passes a McDonalds bag back to me. He pulls the cup holder down and sets the cup in there. "I got you a hot chocolate."
"Thanks." I whisper.
Concern flickers across his face.
"Do you know where my phone is?" I ask.
"I think it's at home." He tells me.
"Oh."
"Sorry, sweetheart."
I shrug. "Can I play games on yours, then?"
"Sure. Download whatever." He responds, passing me his unlocked phone. I download a few apps, and I'm playing Hay Day when Nic gets back into the car. He passes the bag back to me.
"Thanks." I say again.
I see him smile in the rear view mirror. I eat some of the food and some of the chocolate Nic got me before going back to playing on my dad's phone.
It dings with a message, and I glance at it.
LORENZO R: Is seven good?
"Dad."
"Hm?"
"Lorenzo R asked if seven is good."
"Pass it to me." He says.
"But I'm playing Hay Day."
"You can have it back in a minute."
I sigh and give it to him. I cross my arms, waiting as he types out a reply at a red light. A few minutes pass before he gives it back to me. I smile and continue to play the game.
His phone dies after half an hour, and I give it back to him so he can charge it in the front of the car. I turn on my side and fall asleep.
•
I wake up when I feel myself being lifted out of the car.
I crack my eyes open, relief spreading over me like a warm blanket when I see that we're home. I lean my head on my dad's shoulder, and he looks down at me, smiling.
I hold onto him tighter, and he begins to rub his hand up and down my back as he takes me inside. He carries me up the stairs, to my bedroom.
I look inside, taking in the IV drips beside my bed and the health charts on the walls. I can't really see because my room is quite dark, but it has health recommendations and statistics. Hanging one up on the wall is a short tanned woman with brown hair so dark it could be mistaken as black. She turns around and smiles, revealing white teeth, a few of which are crooked.
"Hi! You must be Celine. My name is Valeria. I'm gonna be your at-home nurse."
"Hi." I whisper.
My dad smiles down at me again. "She just woke up, she was asleep in the car."
"Well, I've got the bed all set up. Do you wanna go back to sleep, Celine?"
I shake my head. "Where's Léo?"
"He's at school, baby. You can see him when he gets home." My dad says. "Do you wanna watch TV?"
"You have to stay." I whisper.
"I will." He assures me.
I nod. He walks over to the bed and sits down, setting me beside him. He tucks me under the covers and Valeria begins to put the needles into my arms. I avoid her gaze and only look at my dad as he turns my television on.
When she's done, she says she'll go make me something to eat and grab a cold cap for me before leaving the room.
"Who's Lorenzo?" I ask. "Is he your boyfriend."
"What?"
"What're you doing at seven?"
"He's coming here so we can talk about something." He replies.
"About what?" I ask.
"Something that's private."
I sigh. He smirks.
He wraps an arm around my shoulders and I lean my head in the crook of his neck. He plants a kiss in my hair and looks down at me, smiling gently.
"I love you so much, sweetheart. You know that, don't you?"
My eyes water and my bottle lip begins to tremble. He furrows his eyebrows, confusion filling his expression.
"What's wrong, baby?"
I wrap my arms around him abruptly, and he sets his hand on my back, rubbing his palms in small circles. He continues to do that until I fall asleep again, wrapped up in the blankets and his arms.
•
I wait while my dad goes to get my brothers from school. Valencia comes into my room after a couple minutes with food and my cold cap, since when she did last time I was fast asleep.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine." I respond as she sits beside me. She sets the bowl of soup on my lap, and passes me the cold cap.
"Does it feel better to be home?"
I nod. "I don't like the hospital."
"Not many people do."
"I guess so."
She's silent for a moment before she says. "Your dad wanted me to go over some things with you. Like stuff you'll have to do to ensure you can have the most energy and stay healthy."
"Okay?"
"You'll need to get at least nine hours of sleep. That means on most nights you'll have to go to bed at around half ten, depending on when you need to wake up."
I furrow my eyebrows. "Half ten? What am I, a toddler? My nephew probably stays up later than that."
She frowns. "It's necessary, honey, I'm sorry. I was thinking you could sit in the garden for some time every day so you can get fresh air, maybe with some of your brothers or your dad. He's decided to take you out of school too."
"Really?" I ask.
She nods. "Maybe some of your friends could come see you."
I shake my head.
Her eyes soften and understanding fills her features. "Sometimes when people get sick, they also become nervous about what other people will think about them. Some people who are more confident may become more submissive or quiet, or people who are more controlling might become more laid back or relaxed."
"What's that got to do with me?"
"Those people normally don't want to see their friends, because they feel embarrassed or insecure about becoming weaker and they wonder what they'll think of them. But you don't have to feel that way."
"I don't." I whisper, even though I do. But that's not any of her business. I don't know her.
"Well, if you ever do," it's clear that she knows I feel like that as well, "you shouldn't. Because it just shows how hard you're fighting, and how strong you are."
"You can't be weak and strong at the same time." I say.
"You can be mentally strong."
I peer my eyes. "That doesn't make any sense."
"I—"
The door opens, and my dad walks in. Léo walks inside behind him, hands in his pockets as he looks down at the floor.
The excitement over the prospect of seeing him fades, and I frown. Is he not happy to see me? Did I do something wrong?
"Hi." I say.
"Hey." He responds. He walks over to me and, with extreme awkwardness and strain, wraps his arms around me in a hug. He pulls back after a second. "I need to put my stuff in my room." He tells me. Then he leaves, moving past our dad, who looks at him oddly.
I wrap my arms around myself, my throat closing up. I turn away from Valencia and my father, closing my watering eyes.
I don't know what I did wrong.